by April Wilson
I feel his finger at my opening, testing the wetness there. He dips his finger inside, then out again. With each foray, his finger slips deeper inside me, stroking me methodically, making me squirm. My attention switches from his tongue on my clit to his finger deep inside me. He has no trouble finding the sweet spot, and he works that spot, rubbing me over and over, until suddenly something’s happening all over again. I feel an impending wave deep inside me, swelling like a tsunami that’s growing in intensity.
I can’t contain the whimpers and high-pitched keening sounds coming out of me. Afraid that someone in the house will overhear me, I grab the pillow beside me and press it to my face to muffle the sounds. When the wave detonates like a bomb deep inside me, I cry out into the pillow, shuddering from the impact.
I can feel Jamie crawling up the bed, and a moment later the pillow is pried out of my hands. Then he lies next to me and rolls me into his arms. I’m breathing like I just ran a marathon.
Jamie kisses my forehead. “Are you okay?”
“I’m not sure.”
He laughs.
“I just wasn’t… prepared for that,” I say, breathless. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”
“What could be like that?” he says.
I’m thirty-five years old, and I really don’t want to confess that I’ve never had an orgasm during sex before. Oh, sure, I’ve given myself plenty of orgasms in the privacy of my own bed, but no one’s ever given me one before. And two of them in a span of ten minutes? Never.
“You’ve never come before?” he says, sounding shocked.
“Not with a partner, no. And never twice.”
He grabs the sheet from the foot of the bed and wipes his beard, then he crawls over me, caging me in. I gaze up into his face, amazed at how beautiful he is. He takes my breath away. When lowers his head to kiss me, I taste myself on his lips, and while I feel like I should be embarrassed, I find it secretly thrilling… like I’ve marked him somehow as my own. Jamie McIntyre is wearing my scent on his skin. He smells like me. Dear God.
Suddenly, all I can think about is having him inside me. I reach for his erection, wrapping my fingers around his heated thickness. “I want you. Inside me.”
His brow furrows. “Are you sure? We don’t have to – ”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
Jamie reaches for the nightstand table and locates the strip of condoms. He sits back on his heels and tears open a packet, then rolls it onto his erection. I can’t help watching, fascinated by the size of him. Fully erect, he’s much bigger than I imagined. I’m not sure how that’s going to fit inside me.
When he comes over me, he reaches between my legs and nudges them apart, then settles between them, nestling his hips between my thighs. I can feel his fingers between my legs as he guides himself to my opening.
My legs are trembling when he says, “Just relax.”
As he nudges the head of his penis inside me, I can feel my body opening to him. I’m already so soft and wet there – now I know why he went down on me. It was to make sure I was really soft and wet, ready to take him.
I gasp as he slowly presses inward, the big head of his cock pressing inexorably deeper, one centimeter at a time. He rocks forward a bit, then pulls back and then sinks further, repeating this gentle rocking motion until he’s finally seated all the way. His movements are controlled and measured, but even so, his body’s trembling same as mine.
If he hasn’t been with someone since his accident, it’s been at least several years for him. His body must be on sensory overload same as mine.
I suck in a shaky breath when he’s in. It doesn’t hurt, exactly, but I can tell my body’s being stretched to its limits.
He dips his head and finds my mouth, giving me a gentle kiss. “Okay?”
“Yes,” I breathe.
He begins moving, so slowly at first, pulling all the way out and then sinking back in. He’s holding himself up so that he doesn’t crush me, his arm muscles taut and bulging, and I can feel the tremors in them shaking the mattress.
I slip my hands up his arms, stroking him gently, my fingers following the contours of his muscles and bones. There’s so much strength in these arms, so much power, and yet so much gentleness too. When he groans, I feel the vibration in my bones.
Jamie’s a walking contradiction. He can be so gentle, and yet I know what he’s capable of. I saw him just this evening in hand-to-hand combat, and it was brutal. I’ve read so many stories about SEALs and their physical capabilities and stamina, and it’s nothing short of awe inspiring. To have all that strength and intensity focused on me is humbling.
After shifting his weight to his elbows, he reaches for my hands and links our fingers together, clasping our hands tightly and pressing them into the pillow on either side of my head. He’s got me completely caged in, and I’ve never in my life felt so safe, so sheltered. Right now, I feel like nothing and no one can touch us. Not Todd, not my own insecurities, nothing. Even Jamie’s blindness no longer seems very significant, as he’s proven over and over how capable he is in spite of his lack of sight.
Jamie’s seals his lips to mine, drinking in my cries and my gasps as I respond to each thrust of his body. As my body makes way for him, I begin to relax and enjoy the feel of him surging inside me. With each thrust, his length strokes me inside, stirring up all kinds of delicious sensations. My body is still tingling from my orgasm, and I can tell he’s close to his. His breathing gets heavier with each thrust, and he squeezes my hands harder. I look up at him, and the grimace on his face steals my breath. His jaw is tightly clenched as are his eyelids, and he’s gritting his teeth. I get the impression he’s trying to hang on as long as he can. If it’s been a while for him, too, then I’m sure he’s desperate to release.
On reflex, I tighten my muscles on him as he surges inside. He moans in response, and then his entire body tenses. He throws his head back, arching his taut neck muscles, and cries out in agonizing pleasure.
As his thrusts slow with each residual pulse of heat from his cock, I pull my hands free and gently stroke his back, comforting him as his body is wracked with tremors. He tucks his face in the crook on my neck, his breath hot and heavy, and then kisses my shoulder.
“Are you okay?” he says, his voice low and rough.
He pulls out gently, then rolls to his side to face me. His short hair is tousled and damp from the shower. I reach up to brush it out of his eyes.
“I’m wonderful,” I say, watching his expression as he body comes down from the high. “Are you okay?”
He laughs. “At least I didn’t embarrass myself this first time. I think I lasted at least five minutes.”
He leans down to find my mouth and kisses me gently. “I didn’t hurt you?”
“No.” At least not more than should have been expected. “I’m fine. In fact, I’m better than fine.”
Jamie takes care of the condom and heads to the bathroom to dispose of it. Then he returns to bed and crawls in beside me, pulling the sheet and the comforter up to cover us.
“I need a minute,” I tell him, extricating myself from the bedding. I head into the bathroom to pee and clean up. I find several packages of new toothbrushes into the cabinet, so I brush my teeth. My hair is already beyond help, and my lips are red and swollen. There are love bites on my neck and shoulder. I look well loved, and that makes me smile. I never expected to find myself in this place again.
I have nothing to wear to bed, and Jamie’s naked, so I guess it doesn’t matter. I head back to bed and climb in beside him.
“Come here,” he says, pulling me into his arms.
He lies on his back and draws me close, so that I’m resting my head in the crook of his shoulder. His arm is around me and he strokes my back lightly, his fingers sliding up and down my spine. His other hand comes around me to join the first, sliding down to palm my butt cheek.
I shiver.
“You’re going to stay all night, right?” he says.
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I yawn. “Yes. I’ll stay.”
“Good.” He tightens his hold on me. “I want to wake up with you in the morning and do this again.”
We lie there together, quiet and peaceful. My body is still quaking from my orgasm and from the feel of his body surging into mine. I imagine he’s feeling something very similar.
After a while, I ask him the question that’s been in my mind for a long while now. “Why me?”
“Hmm?” He sounds half asleep.
“I’m just wondering why you’re interested in me. Usually, a guy meets a woman, he likes how she looks, and he becomes interested in her. But you can’t see me. Oh, sure, you have a general description of what I look like, but it’s got to be vague in your head. I don’t even have breasts to attract you.”
He chuckles and strokes my butt cheek. “Told you, I’m an ass man. You have a fine ass.”
“I have a big ass, you mean.” I laugh. “I’m serious. Why me?”
He’s quiet for a long while, and I start to wonder if he just doesn’t have an answer or if, more likely, he’s dozed off. Then he sighs.
“I’ve asked myself that a million times, and I’m not sure how to answer it, but I’ll try.” He pauses again, this time brushing my hair back from my hot face, tucking the strands behind my ear.
“I like what you do to my senses,” he says. “I experience the world differently now than I did before. Before, it was a pretty smile that caught my attention. Now, it’s different. My other senses have taken over – sound, smell, feel.” He runs the tip of one finger down the side of my face, following the curve of my cheekbone to my jawline, then down my throat. “I like who you are. I like how I feel when I’m with you. You’re a good person, kind, intelligent, courageous, creative, talented. But it’s also how you make me feel when I’m with you.”
“And how is that?”
“You make me feel good.” He brushes his lips against my temple, dropping a light kiss. “When I’m with you, it’s like you’re a magnet, drawing me in. When I’m away from you, I wonder when I’ll see you again. When I’m with you, I don’t want to leave. When I met you, it was like my body reawakened from a long sleep. It was like something inside of you called to something inside of me.”
He sighs heavily and tightens his hold on me. “Does that sound crazy?”
“No.”
“Good. Because the something inside of me doesn’t want to let go of the something inside of you.”
I shiver when I feel his lips in my hair at the back of my neck. He’s so tactile, and my body acts like it can’t get enough of the touching. I lay my hand over his and stroke my fingertip along the path of a thick vein.
I’m starving for the affection he’s giving me, but I don’t want to mislead him. As much as I care about him, I never want to risk him getting hurt. And knowing how well Todd can work the system, I’m afraid he’ll be out on bail any time. In fact, he might already be out. He’s going to be furious with me for calling the police on him, and if Todd finds out Jamie was involved in that decision, he’ll retaliate.
“I met Shane’s attorney this afternoon. Do you think he would check on Todd’s status for me?”
“Troy’s staying overnight. We can ask him to look into it first thing in the morning.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t worry about Todd, okay? I’ll take care of him.”
Chapter 38
Molly
When I awake, I’m surprised to find myself alone in Jamie’s suite. A moment later, the door opens and he and Gus stroll in. Jamie’s dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and is wearing his jacket.
“Good morning,” I say, stretching languidly in bed. I feel tenderness deep inside me, reminding me about what we did last night.
He smiles at me. “Good morning. I just took Gus outside for a pee break. Have you been awake long?”
“No. I just woke up a few minutes ago.”
Gus runs to the side of the bed to greet me, and I scratch behind his soft, floppy ears.
I shiver. “His ears are cold.”
“There was a light dusting of snow overnight. It’s pretty frigid this morning.”
Jamie takes off his jacket and hangs it on a wall hook. “Ready to go down for breakfast? Elly has a hot buffet set out in the dining room. I saw Troy this morning. He said he’d make some calls and get back with us.”
Jamie crawls up the bed on his hands and knees, and I fall back in bed as he hovers over me. “I’m cold too,” he said, plaintively.
To prove his point, he sticks his ice-cold nose in the toasty warm crook of my shoulder, making me squeal. “Jamie!”
“Good morning,” he says. And then he kisses me.
He tastes like mint toothpaste and smells faintly of soap, deodorant, and clean perspiration. I slip my hands up underneath his sweatshirt to find his skin deliciously warm from his outing. Feeling brave, I push his shirt up and lean up to kiss the center of his chest. “You smell good.”
“So do you,” he says, burying his nose in my hair. Just as he bends down to kiss me, his phone rings.
“That’s Troy,” he says, sitting back on his heels to answer his phone. “Troy. Hi.”
I wonder how he knows who’s calling?
“Sure,” he says. “We were just about to head downstairs for breakfast. We’ll meet you there.”
Jamie ends the call and pockets his phone. He kisses me once more. “Let’s go. Troy will meet us in the dining room.”
“After I get a quick shower,” I say, climbing gingerly out of bed, making a pained sound when I feel a twinge deep inside me.
“Are you all right?” Jamie says, as he sits on the side of the bed.
“I’m fine. Just a little sore, that’s all.”
I swear he’s struggling not to smile as I head into the bathroom.
* * *
Lia and Jonah are just leaving the dining room as we enter. Lia takes one look at us and gives me a knowing smile.
“Hi, Molly. Sleep well?” she says.
“Yes, I did.” I nod and smile back, trying to look innocent.
I don’t think she’s buying it.
“You look well rested, Jamie,” she says. “Did you sleep well too?”
“I did.”
She glances from me to Jamie, then back to me, with a thoughtful look on her face. “Um, Molly?”
“Yes?”
She points to her own throat. “You’ve got something on your neck.”
My hand shoots up to cover my throat, and I realize Jamie must have left a mark on my skin. I’m thirty-five years old, and I have a hickey.
Jamie doesn’t say a word.
Jonah rolls his eyes at me and shakes his head. “Enjoy your breakfast, guys,” he says, steering Lia out of the room. “Don’t mind us.”
“Well, that was embarrassing,” I say, as we make our way into the dining room. There’s a long buffet along the wall filled with trays of hot food. The dining table is currently empty.
I look at Jamie, and he’s trying hard not to laugh.
“Oh, you think it’s funny?” I ask him.
He grins. “Maybe. Just a bit.” Then he laughs. “Yeah, it’s funny. I’m not sorry, you know.”
“Not sorry about what?” Troy says, as he walks into the dining room. “I’m starved. What’s there to eat?”
“Anything you want, Troy,” Elly says, walking in through a kitchen access door. She smiles warmly at me. “Good morning, Molly, dear. Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, I did. Thank you.”
“And you, Jamie?” Elly’s doing her best to suppress a grin, and I suspect she knows that I slept in Jamie’s bed last night.
“Yes, ma’am,” he says.
Elly checks the status of the coffee pot. “Good. Grab yourselves some plates and help yourself to whatever you want. If there’s something you need that’s not here, just holler and I’ll get it for you.”
Troy fills his plate and pours himself a cup of coffee.
I touch Jamie’s sleeve. “Why don’t you tell me what you want, and I’ll get it for you.”
He hesitates for a moment, and I suspect it’s because he doesn’t like to be waited on. But I also think part of him likes the idea of me doing something for him.
“Thanks,” he says, taking a seat across the table from Troy.
Jamie gives me his order – scrambled eggs, sausage, waffles, and coffee – and I fill a plate for him. Then I get the same for myself and sit down beside him.
“I’m afraid I have bad news,” Troy says, consulting a message on his phone. “Todd Ferguson’s already been released on bail.”
My stomach drops, and I suddenly lose my appetite. He’s out. Todd’s out of jail.
“I’m sorry,” Troy says. “But Molly, the restraining order still stands. If he violates it again, the court won’t be so lenient with him a second time.”
I try my best to smile. “Thank you, Mr. Spencer.”
“Call me Troy, please.”
Troy quickly finishes his meal and takes his leave, telling us he’s heading back to the city now. He promises to monitor Todd’s case and let us know of any further developments.
“You’re not eating,” Jamie says, when we’re alone again.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Molly, you need to eat something.”
“I can’t. I feel like I’m going to be sick.” My mind is racing as the ramifications of what I’ve done sink in. Todd’s going to be furious, and he’ll know Jamie was involved. He’s going to retaliate. My pulse starts racing as my mind goes through all the possible outcomes. “Will you be okay on your own? I think I’ll go up to my room.”
“Don’t go,” Jamie says, reaching for my hand. “You don’t have to face this alone. I’ll be right by your side, I promise.”
That’s what I’m afraid of. I tug my hand free of his and stand. My thoughts are racing as I think of all the ways Todd can target Jamie. It’s a little late now, but I’ve got to do what I can to protect Jamie. “That’s the problem, Jamie. I don’t want you by my side. I don’t want you anywhere near me.”
He doesn’t say a word as I walk out of the dining room and head up the staircase to the second floor. My words were cruel, and I hurt him. I didn’t want to, but I can’t keep sticking my head in the sand. Todd’s going to retaliate. There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind about that, and Jamie’s vulnerable. I can’t be with him every second to protect him.