by April Wilson
I feel sick as I walk down the hallway to my room. I should never have let things go so far with Jamie last night. I should never have slept with him. It’s my fault he’s in this position. If anything happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself.
Once I’m in my room, I pace anxiously, my mind racing through every possible contingency as I try to search for a way to keep Jamie safe. Maybe there’s something I can do or say to Todd to convince him that Jamie had nothing to do with me calling the police. Maybe if I take the blame, Todd will redirect his ire toward me and not Jamie.
I stop pacing when I hear a knock at my door. I freeze.
There’s another knock, and then Jamie’s low voice sounds muffled coming through the door. “Molly? Honey, please talk to me. I know you’re worried, but we can work through this together.”
He waits patiently for a reply. When I don’t give him one, he says, “Molly, please?”
I can’t bear to listen to the plea in his voice, so I go into the bathroom, close the door, and turn on the faucet. I stare at my reflection, at a woman who looks scared. I am scared, not for myself, but for Jamie.
What have I done?
Chapter 39
Jamie
I stand outside Molly’s suite for half an hour, hoping she’ll change her mind and talk to me. I know she’s scared. I suspect Todd has convinced her that he’s a formidable foe. Personally, I think he’s nothing more than a bully. In the meanwhile, Molly’s hurting, and it’s driving me crazy that she won’t let me help her.
When it’s obvious she’s not going to let me in, I head back to my suite to grab my swim trunks. I need something to do – something physical to help me burn off some of this tension. Otherwise I’ll do something stupid like break down Molly’s door. Somehow I don’t think that would be helpful right now.
Gus and I head down to the lower level. I change in the locker room, then head out to the pool. Maybe an hour of hard laps will help.
I’ve done about fifty laps when I hear the doors to the pool room open. Gus runs to greet the new arrival, practically squealing with excitement. There’s only one person he gets that excited for, and that’s Beth.
I continue swimming hard, my arms cutting through the water. I’m not sure what to say to Beth, or how much to tell her. She’s still recovering from a recent traumatic experience, and she’s pregnant. I certainly don’t need to add to her worries. Shane definitely wouldn’t appreciate that.
She sits at the side of the pool and puts her feet in the water, gently kicking them. “Are you just going to ignore me?” She sounds hurt.
I come to a stop and tread water, pushing my wet hair out of my face. This just isn’t my day to make the women in my life happy. “I’m sorry. I’m just not in the mood to socialize.”
“I’m not here to socialize with you, dummy,” she says, making me smile. “I’m here to see how you’re doing.”
I realize Beth’s probably been watching me all weekend to see how I fared with Molly. “I’m fine.”
“That’s bull,” she says. “I saw the expression on your face last night, after your dance with Molly ended. You weren’t fine.”
Ahh, so Beth doesn’t know about Todd being out on bail. She thinks I’m preoccupied by the fact that Molly walked out of the wedding reception last night after our dance. She must not know that Molly and I spent the night together. Maybe it’s for the best. “She walked away from me without a word.”
“Jamie – ”
Gus starts barking excitedly again, alerting me to another new arrival.
“Wow, Lia wasn’t kidding,” Molly says as she comes into the pool room. “There’s actually a pool in your house.”
Relief that Molly has come out of her self-imposed seclusion sweeps through me.
“Hey, Molly!” Beth says. “Why don’t you join us? There’s a closet full of brand new swimming suits in the locker room, in every size and style imaginable. Help yourself.”
I hear footsteps moving around the side of the pool. Then Molly says, “Thanks, but swimming’s not really my thing. But I’ll hang around and watch, if you guys don’t mind the company.”
I swim in Molly’s direction, wondering if her breast forms are waterproof? I doubt the pool chemicals would be good for them. Surely there are water-resistant breast forms out in the market.
“Of course I don’t mind,” I tell her. “I’d love the company. Is there something else you’d rather do?” I suggest that we watch a movie in the home theater or go out for a walk, go see the docks, the barn, the horses. Personally, I’d vote for the walk. It would get us out of the house and away from prying eyes so we can discuss her fears.
“I would love a walk,” she says. “But don’t let me interrupt your swim. I can wait until you’re done.”
I’m sure Beth would understand if I go with Molly, but I don’t want to leave Beth. We have rules about civilians swimming alone, especially pregnant ones.
I hear the doors open again, then a familiar voice. “I figured I’d find you down here,” Shane says. I’m sure he’s talking to Beth. “How’s the water?”
“It’s perfect,” she says, kicking her feet in the water. “Come on in.”
I hear running feet hit the concrete floor, followed by a splash.
“Looks like my swim buddy is here,” Beth says, laughing as Shane breeches the water and splashes her.
And that’s my cue. With Shane here to safeguard Beth, I’m free to take off with Molly. I haul myself out of the water near where Molly is standing. “Since Beth is adequately occupied with her swim buddy, I’ll dry off and change, and we’ll go for that walk.”
“I’d like that,” Molly says.
I grab my towel off the back of a lounge chair and dry off. Then I call Gus to me and put his harness on him. “Come on, buddy, let’s go get dressed. I won’t be long, Molly.”
I hear Molly take a seat on one of the lounge chairs as I head to the changing room to dress. I want to get her alone someplace where we won’t be interrupted – like the barn.
We kissed the last time we were in the barn. I wouldn’t mind a repeat of that.
* * *
We drop Gus off in the kitchen with Elly.
“We’re going out for a walk,” I tell her.
“Make sure you’re back in time for lunch. I’ve got a celebratory luncheon planned. Shane and Beth are the guests of honor, so make sure you’re here for it.”
“We will be,” I assure her.
Elly gives me an impromptu hug. She doesn’t say anything, but then again she doesn’t need to. She’s happy for me. And for Molly.
Elly releases me, then hugs Molly too. “You kids have fun,” she says in a shaky voice, trying to pretend that she’s not on the verge of tears.
Molly and I bundle up for the cold outside temps and trudge through the light snow to the barn. She takes my hand, and I match my stride to hers, navigating the uneven terrain with the help of her quiet verbal cues. We work well together.
When we reach the barn, I open the side door and hold it for her to walk inside. I follow her in, closing the door behind me to keep out the cold wind.
It's warm in the barn, and the interior smells like hay and grain, leather, and manure.
Releasing my hand, Molly walks down the central corridor, past each of the horse stalls, to the open double doors that lead to the pasture. I lean against one of the stalls, giving her a few minutes to collect her thoughts.
She’s quiet. Too quiet. I’m afraid I know where this is going. She’s going to play the noble card and tell me it’s too dangerous for us to be together. The problem is, I’m not sure how to pull her back from there. I figure it’s best to get her talking, so we can get this out in the open and I can work on countering her argument.
I cross my arms, getting ready for a battle. “Just say what’s on your mind, Molly.”
She kicks at the straw littering the hard dirt floor before she turns to face me.
She takes a deep brea
th, and when she speaks, her voice is thick with unshed tears. “I’m sorry.”
God, I hate that she’s hurting like this, and all because she feels like she has to protect me. “Sorry?” I say, pushing away from the wall. “For what?”
“For letting things go so far between us. I shouldn’t have done that, and I’m sorry.”
“Hell, I’m not sorry. Molly, what happened between us was mutual. There’s no blame to be had – not by either of us.”
“Yes, there is, because I know Todd. I know how persistent he can be. Ever since his affair ended, he’s been obsessed with me coming back to him. He’ll see you as an impediment to that goal.”
I scoff. “I am more than ready to take on your ex, Molly.”
“Jamie, be serious.”
I stalk across the aisle toward her and she takes several steps back. The sound of her boots scuffing against the ground helps me pinpoint her location easily. I clasp her shoulders and press her against the wall. “I am being serious.”
As I lean close, she sucks in a breath and raises her hands to push me back. “Jamie, no. We have to stop. Listen, I’ve been giving this some thought, and I think I have a solution.”
“We don’t need a solution, damn it, because there’s no problem!”
“Wait a minute and hear me out,” she says. “I’ve decided to move out of the apartment building. I’ll sublet my apartment for the remainder of my lease and find another place, maybe in Rogers Park or Old Town. Some place far from you. Hopefully that will direct Todd’s attention away from you.”
I squeeze her shoulders in exasperation. What I really want to do is shake some sense into her. I expected her to run. I just didn’t expect her to run that far. “No,” I say.
“No?” She sounds part incredulous and part affronted.
“You heard me. You’re not moving out of your apartment.”
“Jamie – ”
“I mean it.” I press my hands to the wall, one on each side of her head, and cage her in. I dip my head so that our foreheads are touching. “Did last night mean anything to you?”
She sucks in a startled breath. “Jamie, we can’t – ”
“Did it?”
At first she doesn’t answer, and I’m afraid she won’t. But eventually she gives in. “Yes.”
“That’s all I need to know.” I lower my mouth to hers and swallow her gasp, sealing our mouths together and drinking in the sounds she makes, soft moans, faint whimpers. When she opens her mouth, I slip my tongue inside to stroke hers.
She grasps the front of my coat and pulls me closer, her mouth as greedy as mine. My hands move to cup the sides of her head, and I thread my fingers through her hair and hold her in place.
I whip off my glasses and stow them in my coat pocket so that there’s no barrier between us. “Look at me and tell me you don’t want me,” I say, challenging her directly.
I wait patiently, giving her a chance to formulate an answer. I realize I’m pushing her, maybe too hard, so I soften the tone of my voice. “If you can honestly tell me you don’t want me, I’ll back off right this minute. No hard feelings, no harm done.”
Still, she says nothing.
“But, you see, I think you do want me, just as much as I want you,” I tell her. “And I’m not going to lose this – lose you – because of Todd. You’ve got to trust me, Molly. There’s nothing for you to be afraid of, I promise.”
She lifts her hands to my face, tentative and gentle. Then she leans forward to kiss me, her soft lips clinging to mine. She’s trembling. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you,” she whispers.
I close my eyes as relief sweeps through me. I don’t know what I would have done if she’d called my bluff. “Then stop trying to push me away for my own sake and trust me to handle Todd.”
“All right,” she says, in a quiet voice. She sounds far from convinced, but at least she’s willing to give me a chance.
I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer. I press myself against her, gritting my teeth as at the exquisite pleasure. I’m sure her pulse is racing like mine. I could try to talk her into coming back to my suite with me, but I don’t want to move from this spot. Are we too old to make out in the barn?
As I kiss her, I drink in her sighs and soft moans. The sounds coming from her make me harder, painfully so, and all I can think about is getting her home.
“Let’s go home,” I say.
“We can’t go yet. Elly’s planning a special luncheon for Shane and Beth. We can’t miss that.”
I huff out a breath. “All right. But afterward, we’re going home.”
“Okay.”
Chapter 40
Molly
By the time we make it back to the house, the dining room is filled with happy, excited guests. Beth and Shane are the center of attention, of course, and they’re surrounded by family and friends. It looks like most everyone is here, except for a few conspicuously absent people. Namely, Sam isn’t here, and neither is Cooper.
According to Lia, Sam took off for parts unknown, and Miguel left with him. Cooper’s still here at the house, but holed up in his suite. Shane’s attorney, Troy, left already too.
The food is delicious, and there’s leftover wedding cake, which is divine. Gina, the one responsible for the delicious food and the cake, makes a wonderful toast to the newlyweds.
Jamie’s parents are here, and his mom, Bridget, is happily chatting with Beth’s mom, Ingrid. It’s one big happy family reunion of sorts.
Jamie’s seated on my left, and Lia’s on my right, with Jonah beside her. Lia’s the life of the party at our end of the table. I never know what’s going to come out of her mouth. Jonah just sits back and watches her with obvious affection. I sneak a few glances at Jamie when I think no one’s looking, but Jamie’s mother and Elly catch me a few times.
Eventually, the party starts to break up. It’s late Sunday afternoon and most of the guests need to think about packing up and heading back to their respective homes. Apparently, Beth and Shane are going to stay for a few days and enjoy some relaxing privacy on the estate as they celebrate their wedding.
Jamie and I head upstairs, hand-in-hand, and we go to our respective suites to pack our belongings. Jake offers to drive us home, and he pulls his SUV up to the front of the house, and Elly’s husband, George, helps us load our bags and Gus into the back of the vehicle.
* * *
Back in Wicker Park, Jamie carries all our bags up to our apartments, and I take Gus for a quick walk to stretch his legs and let him take care of business.
I walk past Chloe’s tattoo shop, which is closed. I pass my shop, too, and just peek in through the front windows at the dark interiors to make sure everything looks all right.
Gus and I walk a few more blocks just enjoying some quiet time alone. When I’m with Jamie, I’m so focused on him that there’s little room in my head for anything else. He has a knack for occupying my thoughts.
It’s starting to get dark, so we turn back toward home. Gus is his usual happy and curious self, wanting to stop and sniff every light pole, mailbox, and planter we encounter.
I just happen to glance across the street and see a black sports car parked along the street. The car catches my attention because it’s the same model Todd drives. Immediately my heart starts pounding, even as my brain chides me for overreacting and tells me to calm down. That car model is a dime a dozen in Chicago.
When the tinted driver’s window slowly goes down, though, there’s a familiar face staring back at me.
What’s he doing here? If he just got released from jail on bond, why in the world is he risking rearrest by showing up in my neighborhood? He has no business here. Both his law office and his condo are way across town in Lincoln Park.
I ignore him and keep walking, although I picked up my pace. “Come on, Gus. Let’s get home.”
Out of my peripheral vision, I see Todd crossing the street on a path to intercept me on the sidewalk. I stop when he
falls into step beside me.
“Is that his dog?” Todd says, scowling at Gus. “You’re walking the guy’s fucking dog?”
“You’re in violation of the restraining order,” I say, maintaining my calm.
He rolls his eyes at me. “What are you going to do, Molly? Call the police again? I was out on bail in 24 hours the last time. The next time, I’ll be out in half that time.”
I swallow hard and shake my head. “You won’t get bail next time.”
“Bullshit. I have connections, Molly, and you know it. I’m a fucking defense attorney. You can’t touch me.”
I don’t believe a word he says – he’s just trying to intimidate me. I resume walking, keeping my gaze straight ahead, trying to ignore the pounding of my heart. I can see my building from here, and I’m relieved to see Jake’s SUV is still parked out front. Jake steps out from behind the vehicle and walks around to open the driver’s door. My heart sinks. He’s leaving.
Just before he climbs into the vehicle, he glances my way and makes eye contact. I raise my hand in a half-hearted wave, willing him to notice that I’m not alone. Jake’s never seen Todd before, so he wouldn’t recognize him, but maybe he’ll put two and two together.
I’m practically holding my breath to see what Jake’s going to do. To my utter relief, he closes the driver’s door and walks around to the sidewalk, facing me, his hands on his hips as he watches our approach.
The moment Jake takes a step in our direction, Todd turns and jogs across the street, heading quickly back to his car.
“Is everything all right?” Jake says, when he reaches me. He’s talking to me, but his gaze is tracking Todd’s movements.
I take a deep breath. “No, not really.”
“Was that your ex?”
“Yes.”
“I thought he was in jail for violating the restraining order?”