Keep Me in Mind

by Jaime Reed

  His chest felt warm against my back, as did his breath against my ear as he whispered, “If you have to ask that, then you’re in worse shape than I thought.”

  A ten-minute drive and a punched ticket later, Wade and I arrived at the dance. Side by side, we prowled the gymnasium, squinting against the blinking strobe lights. The Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage” blared through the speakers. The dance floor was humid with movement. Kids jumped and threw themselves on each other like they were in a mosh pit. Glow sticks left streaks of color in the air. This made our search difficult, so Wade and I agreed to split up to cover more ground. My primary goal was to get Ellia away from Cody without a fight, but I was jumping ahead of myself. I had to find them first.

  Then I heard my name being called. I turned to my right and saw Stacey shouldering through the masses, wearing an ugly wig and big, round glasses.

  “Don’t freak out, Liam,” she said before I could speak.

  “Why didn’t you tell me Ellia brought a date here?” I demanded.

  “Excuse me? Since when do I answer to you? You need to do something about that static cling you got going on,” she replied with head-to-toe attitude. “Besides, I just found out a little while ago. I don’t think it’s serious, Liam. They’re just friends.”

  “Where is she?”

  “Bathroom.” She tipped her head to the main doors. “I was gonna go look for her myself. She’s been gone awhile.”

  I wasted no time getting to the exit, and to my annoyance, neither did Stacey. Before my hands touched the push bar, she slipped in between me and the double doors. “Don’t make a scene. You’re just going to mess things up for you and Ellia.” Bracing both hands on my chest, she eased me back a step.

  “It’s already messed up, Stace.” I brushed past her, leaving the gym.

  I headed for the nearest girls’ bathroom but the sound of racing feet against linoleum came from my right. I followed the sound to a familiar hallway that I tried to avoid during the day. I had a hunch of who the feet belonged to and where they were headed.

  It didn’t take long to find her. Straight black hair covered her face as she leaned her head against her old locker. Standing with her here in this corridor triggered memories of stolen kisses between classes and walking to lunch with hands linked at the pinkie. But now everything felt dark and haunted, a sprawling estate left in ruins.

  Not wanting to scare her, I called her name, but she didn’t turn around. I moved closer with slow, measured steps and asked her if she was all right. She said she was fine.

  Her whole body seized up as she planted her hands on the locker door.

  “The others were looking for you. They were worried. I was worried,” I said.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “If you have to ask that, then you’re in worse shape than I thought.”

  I touched her shoulder and eased her around to face me. Tears and runny makeup dampened her cheeks. My hands moved to brush them away, but she turned her head.

  Did she honestly think I would hurt her? Was she afraid of me? Was this why she was avoiding me? What had her parents told her?

  But it was what she told me that made my blood run cold. “Liam, I’m here with Cody.”

  I stared at her as the words penetrated. “No.”

  It wasn’t a reply, but a flat-out rejection of what was being presented as truth. It was impossible. She was seeing another guy.

  “Uh, yeah. He’s here,” she said.

  Clinging tight to the fraying threads of reason, I asked, “Why? He doesn’t even go to our school.”

  “Neither do I, but I got an invite anyway.” She looked me square in the eye. “It’s not a date. We’re not a couple. We’re just hanging out.”

  “Hanging out. Sure. If that’s what you want to call it. Is this why you’ve been acting weird all week? You’re dating Cody now?”

  She lifted her eyes to the low ceiling and let out a bitter laugh. “I’m not dating anyone. I can barely keep track of friends, let alone a boyfriend.”

  “But you’re willing to go to the dance with a total stranger?” My question came from a wounded and vulnerable place. I knew that. But I couldn’t help asking.

  “Liam, I hate to break it to you, but you are a stranger.” She pushed off the locker and brushed past me on her way up the hall, her tan boots scuffing the slick floor.

  I stood in that spot for a long time, hurt and anger swirling in my gut. How could she say that? After all we’d shared, I was still on the outskirts of her world.

  I went back to the gym and allowed myself to get swallowed by the crowd. The bass pounded in my ears, pumping blood through my veins, making it impossible to concentrate. Good. I didn’t want to think, or feel.

  I froze when I saw her. More accurately, I saw them.

  Ellia’s arms were lifted in the air, her eyes closed in her private worship. That Cody guy was having a hard time keeping up with her, which wasn’t a surprise. Whenever the beat dropped, it was the Ellia Dawson Show, full stop. The girl was on her own planet when she danced, moving in perfect time with the music even if she’d never heard the song before. That was when she was the most free, the most uninhibited.

  Cody whispered something in Ellia’s ear that made her laugh and I wanted to deck him in the face. I stood only feet away and I wasn’t so much as a blip on her radar, a consideration.

  Stacey sidled next to me and frowned in disapproval. A minute later, Wade joined us with Kendra attached to his arm. “So what’s the deal? You gonna talk to her or what?” he asked.

  “Yeah. But I need to get her alone and away from that Cody guy,” I replied with my eyes glued to the happy couple spinning and twisting in the crowd.

  “Cool. I can run interference and buy you some time to cut in.” Wade grinned and rubbed his hands together, primed for mayhem. “How would you like to sabotage this thing?”

  “We can take his phone,” I suggested.

  Ellia must’ve mentioned the importance of Cody’s phone to Stacey, because she glared at me in fury. “Liam, don’t you even try it. That’s low, even for you. Is your love that selfish? Is it that destructive?”

  Her words were the slap in the face that brought me back to my senses. Through the flashes of light, I could see Stacey’s shiny round eyes grow wide. They pleaded for me to … I don’t know, think this through or see reason. I’d crossed over to the dark side as soon as I left the house tonight and I needed to get it together.

  “All right.” I nodded in compliance. “Wade, just hang back a bit. I’ll go and talk to her myself—Wade?” My head spun to my left and I saw that he’d vanished from sight. I looked in Ellia’s direction. “Oh no!”

  Wade had cut in between Ellia and Cody. He was talking to Ellia and with each second she looked more and more annoyed. When she turned away, Wade grabbed her arm and Cody stepped in to intervene. Wade gave Cody a shove.

  “Wade, stop!” I tore through the crowd, knocking people out of the way.

  Cody stumbled back toward onlookers. Wade dangled what I assumed was Cody’s cell phone in the air like a trophy, then got into pitching position to throw the device toward the stage. I sped up my pace, pushing through the fighting tide of bodies while calling for Wade to stop what he was about to do.

  Everything happened so quickly that if I blinked, I would’ve missed it. Cody found his balance, lunged forward, and served Wade an uppercut to the jaw that everyone within a ten-foot perimeter could feel. Witnesses recoiled and ducked away and a collective “Oooooooh!” spread through the crowd. The impact knocked Wade clear off his feet and the group fanned out to give him room to land flat on his back. Cody’s phone tumbled to the floor next to him. Even through the music and the noise, I heard the crack of the device.

  “What’s your problem, man?” Wade yelled as Kendra helped him to his feet.

  Like a boss, Cody picked up his phone, brushed it off, and checked for damage. “You took my phone, dude! Don’t try it again.”

&nbs
p; Mr. Hicks, my old Chemistry teacher, and Coach Grady came from out of nowhere and took Cody away by his arms. “All right, son. Come with us.”

  “Stop! He didn’t do anything wrong!” Ellia tried to run interference, but both teachers kept moving toward the exit.

  “He just knocked a guy out, and you think that’s nothing, Miss Dawson?” Mr. Hicks asked.

  “Then why don’t you kick him out, too? He started it!” She pointed to Wade, but her efforts were wasted.

  Cody didn’t put up a fight as he was ushered out, and Ellia followed him.

  I didn’t look back to check on Wade, but I followed Ellia from a safe distance all the way out.

  By the time I approached the parking lot, I heard Coach Grady issuing a warning for Ellia not to return. Since neither Ellia nor Cody attended León, they could be charged for trespassing. When the teachers walked away, Ellia groaned and smoothed down her flyaway hairs. That’s when she saw me standing under the awning.

  I didn’t even get a chance to explain myself before the yelling began.

  “Did you tell Wade to take Cody’s phone?”

  “No, I mean yeah, I-I told him about it but I didn’t expect—”

  “You know Cody needs his phone, and you pull something like this? And you’re not even man enough to do it yourself, but you get your uncle to do it?”

  “I didn’t know he was going to do that!” I shouted back. “Look, I just came to the dance tonight to see if you were okay. You weren’t answering your phone—”

  “So what?” she cut me off. “Can’t a girl take a breath without you knowing about it? Are you that jealous and petty?”

  “Ellia!” Stacey rushed out of the entrance. “There you are. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, we got kicked out because of him.” Ellia pointed to me. “Did you know he was coming tonight?”

  Stacey appeared offended by the accusation. “No!”

  “You sure? I saw you standing with him during the fight. Did you plan this?”

  “I didn’t know he was coming, I swear!” Stacey cried out.

  “Whatever. Forget it. I’m going home.” Ellia spun to Cody, who stood on the sidewalk filming our argument on his phone. “Hey, Cody! Can you give me a ride?”

  “Sure. Ready when you are,” he said, and kept filming.

  “She came here with her friend; she should leave with her,” I told him.

  Ellia shoved me in the chest so hard that it forced me back a step. “You don’t tell me what to do!” she yelled. “I am so sick of people trying to control me, pushing me to be something I’m not. I thought you were different, but it turns out you’re worse! We’re not a couple, Liam! You are not my boyfriend, so stop acting like it!”

  I swallowed hard at her words. Her tone was sharp and succinct, like a blade.

  Stacey stepped forward and spoke gently.

  “Ellia, I get that you’re upset, but maybe you should go home and sleep it off. I can take you; it’s no problem,” she offered.

  “I’m good, thanks,” Ellia replied with a sneer. She glared at me. “My folks are right about you. You’re too clingy and intense. No wonder they don’t want you around. My dad won’t even let me say your name, he hates you so much.”

  The comment stung, but I hid it with a scoff. “So your dad finally turned you against me. I knew it would happen eventually.”

  “You say that like they’re wrong,” she said. “At least they made an attempt to tell me what happened that day on the beach. For all your talk about not trusting them, you’re the one keeping the biggest secret. You were probably playing me this whole time. There probably isn’t even a book. This whole ‘getting close to me’ thing could be a way to soften me up so you don’t go to jail for what you did to me!”

  Everything slammed to a halt. Stacey stood wide-eyed next to us, in a petrified state. Even Cody lifted his head from his phone at what she’d said. As a writer, I knew the power words could wield; they could both inspire and destroy. And hearing something like that from the person you loved should kill you on impact. The instant the words penetrated the eardrums, they should immediately shoot to the brain with the force of a bullet, ending all suffering.

  As the shock of her words coursed through my body, my mind shifted to autopilot once again. But this time it followed a new command: CANCEL.

  I couldn’t keep chasing Ellia and begging her to feel something that she didn’t. But my pride forced me to hold on to what little sanity I had left.

  My decision made, I studied her sweaty face, her runny eye makeup, and the shimmer of body glitter on her skin. I had to remember everything because there was no telling when I’d see her again after tonight.

  I pushed out my hands in appeal and spoke in a calm, even tone. “Ellia, I can’t do this anymore. You’re right. You deserve the whole story. You’ll find it when you go home.” My voice broke and it took several swallows to push down the knot in my throat. I refused to shed one tear in front of her, but I was quickly losing that battle.

  Ellia looked confused. “What are you talking about?”

  “You’ll find out when you get home. See you around, stranger.” I went back inside the gym, not looking back. There was nothing else to say after that—she’d said it all. Perhaps that’s what she’d been trying to tell me this whole time and I just wasn’t listening, or was too busy holding on to that false hope, which was both foolish and misguided. Well, I’d heard her loud and clear. The message had been received. No more calls. No more standing in front of her house. No more story. I was done. The Ellia Dawson Project was officially over.

  Music and flashing lights leaked through the doors of the gym, like a tease. I wished I could go back in there, but I also didn’t want to explain to the others what had happened.

  Stacey ambled along the sidewalk and observed the lampposts, the school’s metal awning, the acre of parking lot behind me; pretty much everywhere but my face. Guilt always has you looking back, or any other direction but forward.

  Someone inside the gym addressed the audience. Only the bass of his voice could be heard from this distance, but whatever he said made the crowd go wild. The roar of applause filled the night. The Decades Awards must’ve started.

  I asked the question again. “What was Liam talking about?”

  “I don’t know,” Stacey replied, still not looking at me.

  I tried another question. “Why are you covering for Liam? Are you guys plotting something?”

  “No,” she squeaked out the word.

  “No,” I mimicked back. “You two seem pretty chatty lately, telling him where I go and what I do. Then you try to guilt-trip me into seeing him when I’m not ready.”

  “Nobody’s trying to manipulate you, El. But you know what would be great? If you told Liam about this”—she gestured to Cody, who was standing on the grass median, absorbed in his phone—“instead of going behind his back.”

  She made it sound like I was cheating. This wasn’t even a date.

  “We’re not together, Stacey!” I snapped. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cody lift his head.

  “Okay. Cool. You tell Liam that?” she asked. Then a shouting match began, Stacey taking the defensive and siding with Liam.

  The yelling went on and on until I finally shouted, “If you think he’s so wonderful, Stacey, why don’t you date him?”

  She reared back in shock. “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing,” I said. I didn’t want to fight about this. Tonight was supposed to be about celebrating recovery and not thinking and now my head was starting to hurt again. “Look, you stay here and I’ll go home with Cody. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Ellia.” She stepped forward to try to reason with me, but I was done talking.

  “Bye, Stacey.” I walked away and joined Cody on the grass.

  The parking lot was packed with cars and it felt weird leaving an event early. Cody seemed to sense the tension in the air and gave me a wide berth as we walked to his car.<
br />
  His ride sat in the front row in the handicap space, a dirty black compact two-seater with a rack on the roof where he likely stored his surfboard. It suited him.

  After we got inside, Cody spoke first. “Some night, huh?”

  “Yeah, that was some punch you threw back there,” I replied. “Respect.”

  “Yeah, my brother taught me that. Clean shot. Aim for the jaw.” He started the engine and played with the weirdest navigation system I’d ever seen. He asked for my address and then typed it onto a computer screen the size of a tablet. Then a robotic female voice filled the interior and called him by name. Cody told me it was a specialized system that was linked to his phone. The automated voice worked like a personal assistant and gave him updates from the previous hour. I felt like I was in a spacecraft of a sci-fi film.

  Once we hit the main road, I grew accustomed to the handicapable tech, then settled back into my earlier funk. These little gadgets were Cody’s lifeline and if something happened to his phone, I would never forgive myself.

  “I’m really sorry,” I told him and rubbed his arm in condolence.

  “Don’t be. I had a blast for the most part and I can always get another phone.” He reached for his cell and showed me the display. “It’s just a tiny crack on the side. See—”

  “Eyes straight ahead,” the computer lady said, and we both jumped.

  I looked around for cameras. “How did she know that?”

  “There’s a sensor that makes sure my eyes don’t leave the road for longer than five seconds while the car’s on.” He pointed to a tiny box clamped to the visor. “So are you into this Liam guy or what?”

  I was still staring at the box and its tiny camera. The topic changed so quickly, I struggled to keep up. “Huh? Oh! No way, not after what he pulled tonight.”

  Cody shrugged. “That’s just passion. Emotions will fly and misunderstandings will happen. Then you’re supposed to kiss and make up. Right?” Cody was only seventeen, but he spoke with a weary tone of someone who had seen it all. “I saw how you looked at him. There are some feelings there—don’t deny it.”