And I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to let go.
25
xavier
Sweat pours down my temple as I sweep the roller brush up and down the kitchen wall.
I really hope Sadie likes this shade of yellow. From the moment I saw the color swatch at the hardware store, it stood out to me and I instantly knew it was the right shade. It’s bold and exciting, fresh and a little rebellious but still warm, radiant, beautiful. The color describes Sadie so well.
I spent the day painting her apartment, each and every room. The bathroom is a fresh shade of mint green that matches the tiles. The hallway is a crisp sky blue. The living room is soft pink, sort of like bubblegum. Or Sadie’s soft tongue. Or that sweet, slippery space between her thighs.
God—it always comes back to sex. But I can’t help it. That body of hers was made for my hands and my mouth and my cock to explore. Those soft curves, the long legs, that perfect hourglass shape in a perfect size twelve. My body has never reacted to a woman’s like this before. Not with this much urgency, this singeing lust, this nearly violent degree of need.
But it’s my heart I’m most concerned about.
The damn girl’s got her fingers locked around my heart. I hate admitting it but it’s true. I’m a goner for her. She’s so damn sweet, so funny, so kind. And she’s free. She marches to her own drum. She dances whenever she wants. I’m captivated by her.
I’m not standing in this apartment sweating bullets with paint splatter all over my skin because of some obligation that’s written in her lease. I’m here because I love her. Because I want her to be happy. Because if painting a damn wall is what I have to do to see her smile when she walks through that front door, then I’ll paint a fucking wall.
I’m so very screwed. Way in over my head. But I’m blissful when I’m with her. Sometimes, I even forget about all my shortcomings, my flaws, my sins, my responsibilities. Sometimes, I look at her and all I see is her.
When I hear her keys jingling in the lock, my heart goes into overdrive. The widest grin spreads across my face and I march into the hallway, throwing the door open. She’s standing there, looking a little bit frazzled—hair all messed up from the humidity, rollerblades slung around her neck, stomach sweat-slick and bared in her tiny gym bra—and she grins at me, too. Wide and uninhibited, like she’s been waiting for this moment all day, just like I have.
And I can’t be expected to keep my hands to myself, not when she’s looking at me like that.
I drop the paint brush to the newspaper covering the floor and I yank her body against mine. She yelps but I swallow the sound with my lips crashing into hers. I kiss her, hands clenching greedily on her waist and her hips, tongue tangling with hers. She moans but her hands are on my shoulders, applying force.
I think she’s trying to push me away…?
I barely register the sound of footsteps entering the front door. It’s the tiny voice of a child that breaks my trance. “Aunt Sadie, the prince is your booooyyyfriend?” the little girl singsongs.
Sadie pulls away completely with a hint of a blush on her cheeks as she faces the tiny redhead. Her words don’t come easily. “Uh…hey, honey. Um…” Maybe this makes me a jerk but I love seeing her flustered. She turns her attention to me. “I’m babysitting tonight so Natalie and her ex can go on a date. They’re taking a shot at working things out.” Her tone is almost apologetic when she says it.
The child pushes into the apartment, headed straight for me. “Hey, Your Majesty!” she says. She drops her head to her chest and crosses one foot in front of the other as she bends her knobby knees in front of me. The perfect curtsey.
Smiling, I give her a gallant bow in return. “Hi. You must be Thandi. Your Aunt Sadie has told me all about you.”
Glittering blue eyes go wide. “She did?” Thandi’s gaze bounces over to Sadie, both of her tiny hands clenching on the straps of the oversized backpack on her shoulders.
“Uh-huh. She even told me that you placed first in your summer camp's science competition. I think that’s really, really cool.”
"Yup! My homemade fire-based water filtration system was lit! Literally!" She beams at her witty pun and I laugh heartily. "I wanna be a scientist when I grow up.”
"Then, you must be really smart like your Aunt Sadie?" I state sagely.
"You got it!" She stretches her fist out and I bump mine against hers.
I flash Sadie a wink. "Smart, pretty girls rule, huh?“
Thandi grins shamelessly in Sadie’s face. "I like this guy. Better than the last one. Nice pick, Aunt Sadie.”
Sadie’s blush is in full force and effect now. She speaks quickly. “Honey, Xavier is just my friend, okay?”
I fold my arms over my chest and lift a brow. “I think I could maybe be more than your friend.”
The instant the words come out of my mouth, the alarm bells go off. Fuck—maybe I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have suggested something that I’m not able to deliver on. Yes, theoretically, I’d love to get more out of this situation with Sadie. I’d like to be more than just the guy who plays her body like a fine-tuned instrument and makes her toes curl into the mattress. I’d love to be more than her friend.
“Huh?” Sadie looks at me with wide, shocked eyes.
I should backtrack, explain myself, rectify the situation. But here I am, making it worse. “Yeah, we could be more than friends. I mean, we have Thandi's blessing, after all." I shrug a shoulder. What the hell is wrong with me?
Thandi’s nod is vigorous. “Yup, you definitely have my blessing.”
Now, Sadie is stuttering. “Um, well…How…uh…”
I need to put her out of her misery. I clasp a hand on Thandi’s bony shoulder. “How about we all go to my apartment upstairs so the paint down here can dry? I’ll make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then, you can build that water filtration device and show me and Aunt Sadie how it works?”
“That sounds super cool!” The child squeals. “Right, Aunt Sadie?”
Sadie nods mutely. And Thandi bounds out the door and up the stairs, leaving the two of us to follow after her.
26
sadie
I squirm against the mattress as Xavier laps gently at one nipple and then at the other. He hums with delight and the delicious vibration causes me to shudder and lock my arms tighter around his neck. I don’t want him to stop. Ever.
His fingers dip into my opening and move smoothly inside of me. My muscles clench as my arousal spills out onto his fingers. “You’re going to drown me in this wet little cunt, darling.” He deftly replaces his fingers with his cock.
And I respond with a purr. I’m so sensitive. Everything he does feels like the best thing I’ve ever felt. I’m melting with each drag of his tongue, each stroke of his fingers, each drive of his cock.
This man is simply magic.
Tonight, he’s not fucking me. Nah. This is more. It’s deeper, intimate.
This man is making love to me.
The way he’s touching me, kissing me slowly. It’s like he’s telling a story. We’re telling it together, writing a poem with our slick, desperate bodies. Each thrust is its own verse. His groans rhyme with my sighs. And we’ve fallen into a rhythm that’s unique, our very own flow.
I took his cock down my throat earlier. He leaned against the dresser, looking down at me with carnal intentions burning brightly in his eyes. The sound of his jagged breaths filled the dark room, tickling the tight coil in the depths of my belly. Just over his shoulder, the half-moon peeked in through the curtains.
Slowly running the wet tip of his cock along my bottom lip, he whispered in a soft growl. "Open up, darling. Suck it again."
I took him until he was knocking at the back of my throat, stretching the muscles there. He faltered, his knees grew weak. I grinned to myself, enjoying the vulnerability carved into his furrowed features. I felt powerful, in control.
I, Sadie Nichols, bow down to no man. But when I’m
on my knees in front of Xavier? Trust me…the pleasure is all mine.
But who am I kidding? This isn’t just about the sex.
The words he said to Thandi play on loop in my head. Maybe we could be something more. Maybe we could be more than friends.
His urgent touch pulls me from my thoughts. Panting, he turns my face up to his and he sears me with a heated kiss.
I’m at the precipice, right about to tumble over when the phone rings on the nightstand. A wicked smile comes over Xavier’s face and he twists his fingers hard inside of me, his knuckles doing something obscene to the sensitive nerve endings. “Aren’t you going to answer that, love?” he whispers teasingly in that damn sexy brogue. “Would you like me to stop?”
The fingers of both hands clasp around his wrist, holding him right there, and I swear under my breath. “Don’t you stop,” I grit out desperately. “Don’t you fucking stop.”
He works his fingers harder and runs his lips up the side of my neck. That stubble is driving me nuts!
Oh, my orgasm is so close. I feel it tightening and swelling in the deep of my belly. I feel it building. The telephone is long forgotten and my limbs begin to shake.
“That’s it, sweetie,” he whispers. “That’s it. Let me feel you come on my hand, darling.” His mouth covers my lips and he swirls his tongue in a maddeningly slow tempo. My spine arches off the bed.
And I come. So fucking hard. “Xavier, Xavier, Xavier!” I shout his name again and again as I spasm against the mattress.
Before I’ve had a chance to fully recover, the phone starts ringing again. This time, I lift my head and peer down at the caller ID. My blood runs cold.
“What is it?” Xavier asks, his face pleating with concern as he watches me.
“The hospital…” A lump lodges itself in my throat. I suddenly feel so very afraid. I sit up, pulling the blankets over my chest. “Hello?”
“Is this Sadie Nichols?” A grave voice comes over the phone.
“Yes, it is.” I silently urge whoever it is to get to the point.
“This is Angie Gallo from the Copper Heights General Hospital. I’d like for you to come down to the emergency room. We’ve just admitted your father.”
27
sadie
I blot tears away again. Every time I dry my eyes, fresh tears spring up within minutes. I just can’t come to terms with it. My father lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life.
I had no idea that he was sick, that he’s been battling this—whatever it is—all on his own for months. Why didn’t you tell me, daddy?
A big, warm hand settles on the small of my back and Xavier’s strong fingers knead gently at the stiff muscles there. I look over at him, slouched limply in the waiting room chair. I give him my best attempt at a smile. “We’ve been here all day. You must be exhausted. You should go home.”
His fingers move higher up my back and rub the space between my shoulder blades. His voice is a husky whisper. “Not a fucking chance.” He loops his arm around my belly and pulls me back. I collapse into his chest.
And I can’t hold it together anymore. I sob uncontrollably and he strokes my hair. Letting go of control like this is foreign to me. It feels strange. But freeing at the same time. Xavier is perfectly patient. He just holds me and shushes into my ear, whispering calming words.
When I finally get a hold of myself, I straighten, dragging my soaked tissue along my cheeks. “Oh my gosh, look what I did to your shirt.” There’s basically a puddle in the middle of his chest, the light blue fabric completely soaked through. I run my hand over his T-shirt and feel the steady beat of his heart beneath.
“Don’t be silly.” He tucks my tangled hair behind my earlobe. His touch is tender but sure. “It’s perfectly okay.”
I smile weakly at him. “Remember when I said I wasn’t sure if you were really a prince?”
“Yeah.” He chuckles.
“I’m sure now.”
That’s my way of saying thank you, of telling him how grateful I am to have him by my side. I’m so used to being strong for myself, facing challenges on my own. But having him with me makes me feel a little bit stronger, it makes me a little less afraid.
He holds me tighter. “You need someone to be here for you, Sadie. You can’t face this alone.”
I’ve sent Nat a few text messages but she has a shift at the cupcake shop. She may not check her phone until the end of the day. “I’m so grateful I don’t have to be here alone, Xavier. I don’t know how I would have kept from falling over on my face.”
“You’re strong, darling. So much stronger than you realize. I’m just glad I can be here for you.” He leans forward and presses his mouth to the bridge of my nose. I tilt my head up and my lips brush his stubbly chin. A contented exhale bursts from his lungs and I watch his mouth curve into a soft smile at the contact.
I watch the way he basks in something so simple. This thing between us is real…
The sound of footsteps approaching causes me to pull back and straighten up in my seat. A tall, imposing man in a fitted Copper Heights Fire Department T-shirt and black pants strolls out of a room at the end of the hall. A dark-haired woman in a white lab coat follows a few paces after him. I recognize them instantly. Angie Gallo is one of the doctors treating my father. Ben Riggs is a lieutenant firefighter. The two are a bit of a power couple around town. They’re friends of Reese’s and stop by the cupcake shop a few times a week. I watch them expectantly as they move in our direction.
Ben reaches us first. He wears a concerned look and gives me a little squeeze on the shoulder. “How are you holding up, Sadie?”
I want to lie and say that I’m fine but I can’t. “I’m freaking out a bit,” I whisper and Xavier’s fingers slide through mine, tightening reassuringly. “You were at the scene where my dad was found?”
He rests both hands on his hips and nods. “Yeah. Eyewitnesses at the scene say he collapsed as soon as he stepped off the bus from Chicago. Luckily, they called for help immediately so he was able to get quick medical assistance.”
Angie takes a step forward. “He’s a bit dehydrated so we’re giving him fluids while we wait for the results of his labs. But he’s been asking for you.”
“He has?” I’m already on my feet.
She smiles. “Yes. Follow me.”
I throw a look at Xavier. He smiles reassuringly. “I’ll be right here waiting for you, love.”
My gut tightens with gratitude and something else, something tender. “Thank you.”
Leaving Xavier and Ben in the waiting room, I follow Angie down one brightly-lit hallway and then another. She pushes a door open and I see my father lying in the hospital bed. And I barely recognize him. He’s gaunt, his eyes and cheeks sunken in.
“Daddy…?” The shock of seeing him like this has me knotted inside.
He smiles, his eyes weak. “Seashell…There you are.” He stretches both arms out to me and I collapse against him. He squeezes me as hard as his frail arms will allow him.
I pull back and watch him again, at a loss for what to say. My father has always been big, brawny. A manly tower. I don’t understand who this person in this bed is. It must be written all over my expression.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he admonishes.
“Wha…what happened?” I manage to croak out.
Angie cuts in. “Your father is very sick, Sadie. He has been for a long time.”
Clasping his clammy hand in both of mine, I turn my wet eyes to the doctor. She tells me that my father has some illness I can’t even pronounce the name of. Basically, his kidneys are failing. His body is crumbling as a result of years of abuse—smoking, drinking, poor nutrition, overwork. She tells me that he doesn’t have many options. There are experimental avenues we could explore but a run-of-the-mill kidney transplant is the most obvious answer.
“I’ll give him one of my kidneys.” I say it simplistically because that’s what it is. Simple. He made the biggest sacrifice
for me. He gave me a family when I had no one else. I owe him so much. And now I won't hesitate to pay him back.
My father needs a kidney so I’ll give him one of mine...right?
The doctor's eyes fill with sympathy. “Sadie—you’d have to be tested. You’re not guaranteed to be a good match.”
“Of course, I’ll be a match,” I say forcefully. Then my voice drops to a pleading whisper when I look into Dad’s weary face again. “I have to be a match. Please. He’s my father.”
“Can I speak with my daughter in private?” My father asks, his eyes on Dr. Gallo.
“Of course,” she says, backing out of the room into the hallway. “I have to go do my rounds but if you need anything, press the little button by your bed and a nurse will come to you.”
When the doctor disappears, my father gives my hand a little tug and I sit on the edge of the bed. His eyes are somber but he smiles anyway. “You know I love you, right? More than anything in the world?”
“Yeah.” My dad hasn't been perfect by any means but he's loved me as best he could. He's the only person who's ever really loved me.
“From the moment your mother handed you to me on my front step, I fell right in love with you.” Tears bleed from the corners of his eyes.
I cling tighter to his hand. “Daddy, what are you saying?”
“Sadie, I’m saying that I don’t think you’ll be a match to donate a kidney to me.”
“Wha…Why?”
“You know why, Seashell.”
He doesn’t need to say it out loud. In all my life, my father and I have only had this conversation once. I was probably seven or eight. I remember it so clearly. We were at my pediatrician’s office. I was in the corner of the room, scribbling in a colouring book as my father and the doctor whispered quietly over by the door. I don’t know what they were saying but I remember that daddy balled up his fists in anger and started yelling. The doctor scurried out of the room to give us privacy and my father explained it all through his clenched jaw as he fought back tears. I remember him lamenting, trying to figure out how a mother could be as cruel and heartless as mine.
Rich Boy: A Royal Landlord Romance (Blue Collar Bachelors Book 5) Page 18