After that day, I pushed the memory away, I tried to bury it. But right now, it’s alive and well and playing out before my mind.
“I’m not saying this to hurt you, Seashell. I’m saying it because you need to face the truth. Even though it’s hard right now.”
He’s right but that doesn’t help.
I feel untethered, anchorless. Even more so than I usually do. Terrified that the one person who has always been my family is about to be torn away from me and there’s nothing I can do to prevent it.
28
xavier
The past few days have been tough for Sadie as she's been coming to terms with her father's health condition. And though I would spend every minute at the hospital just to be there for her, I realize that she needs some time alone with her dad.
Plus, after sitting in the same spot for 72 hours, I was starting to smell like stale nacho halitosis and dirty socks. I think she was just too polite to tell me.
Eventually, I grudgingly left and went home. I’ve been doing odd repairs around the building and going to AA meetings to keep active but I haven’t been able to get her off my mind. I’m so damned worried about her.
So when she texted a little while ago to say that she was on her way home for the night, I knew I had to see her.
At the sound of her opening the door and entering her apartment, I throw on a shirt and take the stairs down to her place. When I knock on the door, it swings open and she’s standing there, looking tired and disheveled but smiling just for me.
“Hey,” she says softly.
“Hey.” Without hesitating, I step forward and scoop her into my arms, lifting her off of her feet. I press my mouth to hers and it isn’t until I’m kissing her that I realize just how much I’ve missed her. My eyes slide closed as I set her back on her feet and cup her cheeks in both hands. Her arms come tightly around my waist and I kiss her some more.
And tiny footsteps come stampeding toward the door.
Thandi grins wide as she curtseys. “Hey, your Highness!”
I grin right back. “Hey, Lady Thandi. How’s science camp going?”
“Super cool,” she tells me. “Today, we made a battery using a lemon and a rusty nail!”
“Well, that just sounds awesome. You’re gonna have to show me how to do that.” I ruffle her hair like a little animal.
She sort of furrows her nose. “Uh, maybe some other time.” Her eyes dart to where Judge Judy is yelling at some poor bloke on the television. “I’m sort of in the middle of something.”
I nod in understanding, trying not to look too disappointed. “Yeah, some other time.”
Just before she turns to head back for the TV in the living room, her gaze darts between Sadie and me and she asks me, “You did make her your girlfriend, right? Like we talked about?”
I avoid eye contact with both of them. “Um, well…”
And I’m not sure how it works but it seems this 7-year-old is much smarter than I am.
She looks alarmed. She speaks with a hint of urgency. “Dude! You'd better lock it down quick. Lots of guys like Aunt Sadie. You might get her stolen from you.”
Sadie’s reached her limit. "NATALIE!" she hollers.
The bathroom door bursts open and the frazzled redhead stumbles out.
"Come get your child!" Sadie demands.
The mother looks worried. "Oh god. I hope she hasn’t been over here embarrassing me."
"I told you to stop letting her watch all those mid-afternoon TV judge shows." That hue of pink looks glorious on Sadie's cheeks and at least when she’s blushing like this, she’s forgetting to be heartbroken over her father.
"Thandi is absolutely lovely," I assure her mother.
“A lovely handful,” Natalie scoffs as Thandi pickpockets a packet of gum from her mother’s jeans and plops down on the couch in the corner by the window.
My eyes bounce between Sadie and Nat. “I didn’t realize you ladies had plans for the evening. I just came over to see if Sadie wanted to go for a walk. I mean, after being in that stuffy hospital for days on end.”
Natalie canvasses her friend’s face. She clasps her hands together with finality. “Nope. No plans. I just came over to fulfill my bestie duty of making sure that this girl is fed and functioning. I’m about to go into meal prep mode and stock her fridge with some home-cooked meals but she looks like she could use a walk.” She lifts a brow at me suggestively.
Sadie nods, almost as if she’s in a daze. “Yeah, I guess some fresh air would do me good.” She throws me a quick glance. “I’m just gonna go change out of my uniform.” She ambles down the hall toward her bedroom. Her shoulders are slumped and her gait is melancholy.
Nat waits until Sadie is out of earshot to approach me with a quiet voice. “It’s breaking my heart to see her like this,” she says sadly.
I blow out a heavy breath and scrape my fingernails along my skull. “I’d give the moon and the stars to put that spunk back into her, to see her happy.”
“Prince Xavier—”
“Just Xavier, please.”
Natalie looks at me, her stare hesitant but fiercely protective at the same time. “Xavier, you seem to have good intentions but I’ve got to say that I’m worried.”
“What do you mean?” I shouldn’t even be asking because I can already guess what she’s going to say.
“You’re not here to stay. You’re merely passing through. And…she’s fragile right now. Vulnerable. Just…don’t lead her on. Don’t give her the impression that things are more than they really are. Don’t hurt her. Please.”
For a moment, I stand there speechless. I’ve fallen into a routine with Sadie. I’ve fallen into her life. Every now and then, the reality that this thing is only temporary completely slips from my mind. Natalie is right. Sadie is coming to depend on me and I’m coming to depend on her. This could become dangerous. For both of us.
Before I find the right words to assure Nat that she has nothing to worry about with me, Sadie comes back into the room wearing a snug tee with Elmo’s big red face across the front and a pair of faded denim bellbottoms with floral decals up the sides. Her hair is up in a messy bun and she looks so pretty. She takes in my reaction and laughs. “Cut me some slack. My laundry pile is up to here.” Her hand slices the air a few inches above her head. “I’ve been at the hospital all week.”
With long strides, I close the gap between us. “Are you kidding me? You look amazing. Trendy as fuck.”
She snorts at my flattery and rolls her eyes. “Ready?
I give a nod of my head. “Ready.”
“So I’m gonna hang around here and make sure you have a nice, home cooked meal for you when you get back. How does that sound?” Nat offers Sadie a smile.
The women exchange a hug. “Thank you. You’re the best,” Sadie mumbles into Nat’s hair. “Just don’t go overboard. The last time you cooked over here, I had enough rice and baked beans to last me through the turn of the century.”
Natalie laughs. “Oh, shush. Get out of here. Have some fun.”
Natalie and her Mini Me say their goodbyes to us and we make a quick exit. Sadie jams her hands into the front pockets of her jeans and smiles softly at me, keeping a little distance between us as we walk. Against my better judgment, I grab her wrist and pull her closer, letting my fingers twist up with hers.
I notice the way she swallows hard as if the show of affection makes her nervous. It should make me nervous, too, but I need to be touching her right now. Because three weeks is all we have left and I don’t want to waste precious moments trying to do the politically correct thing. So we hold hands as we walk quietly across town.
29
xavier
When we get to the park, there’s a little cart selling ice cream on the edge of the sidewalk. I buy two vanilla soft serves and we sit on a bench.
I brush her hair back from her face. “So, tell me. What are the doctors saying about your father’s condition?”
“The damage to his kidneys is severe.” Her tongue circles the base of the melting ice cream. I try not to focus on that because, although the subtle movement is like an encrypted message aimed straight at my cock, it would be pretty inappropriate to get hard right now. “He’s going to need a transplant but in the meantime, he’ll be getting dialysis three times a week. It’s painful and he hates it but he doesn’t have many other options.”
“Shit—I’m sorry, darling.” My hand falls to her leg, smoothing back and forth. “Have you considered donating a kidney to him. I know it’s a lot but maybe that could help him.”
“Believe me, I would if I could but…”
“But what?”
“This is something I’ve never told anyone…” She chews on her lip, as if considering whether or not to tell me a deeply-hidden truth. But when she looks into my eyes, she must see the worry there, the genuine concern. “He’s…he’s not really my father. Not biologically.”
My heart sinks into my toes because I see how hard it is for her to tell me this. “Sadie…”
“The fact that we aren’t related by blood narrows down the already-slim chance that I might be a match. He and my mother had a fling close to a year before I was born. She tried to convince him that I was his but the timelines didn’t match up. Still, he took me anyway. Knowing that I wasn’t his, knowing that I would be a life-changing responsibility. He took me on when he didn’t have to, when my own mother gave me up…” Tears leak freely. “I love him, Xavier. I can’t even tell you how much.”
I pull her into my arms without hesitation, holding her to me, doing my best to shield her from the pain but it’s eating her up from the inside and there’s not a thing I can do about that. It was bad enough that she has never known her mother but learning that the man who raised her isn’t related to her by blood. Fuck—I want to tear down the whole world to find the cruel woman who inflicted all this pain on my darling Sadie.
She sniffles in my arms. “I shouldn’t cry. I’m lucky, really. He always loved me as if I were his daughter. He never threw into my face that fact that I wasn’t actually his. I’m lucky…but sometimes, it just feels like, like I don’t belong to anybody. Like I don’t belong anywhere.”
I get the urge to scoop her up in my arms and kiss her and tell her that she belongs with me. But I can’t do that. Because I’m only transitory. I can’t stay here with her. And the last thing I want to do is lie to her…anymore than I already have.
She eases away and wipes at her tears with her heel of her palm. “Anyway, the situation is not completely hopeless. There’s a clinical trial that a few of Dr. Gallo’s colleagues at the hospital were involved in. Creating a small medical device that would replace the dialysis but they ran out of funding recently. They’re working on finding more money.”
“They ran out of funding?”
“Yes.”
“And they just stopped the research?”
“Well, they didn’t have the money to continue the tests.” Sadie speaks calmly, like the things she’s saying make sense.
Suddenly disgusted by this bullshit, I toss my ice cream cone into a nearby rubbish bin. “But people’s lives are on the line.”
She closes her eyes and takes a quivering breath. “They’re really confident that they’ll get the backing they need for the research. Things like this just…take time.”
And the fear on Sadie’s face clearly tells me she’s not sure if her father has time.
Another tear slips down her cheek and I just lose it. I’m done seeing her cry.
So, I cover her mouth with mine, kissing her softly. My fingers go into her hair and I tilt her head, allowing my tongue to breach the seam of her lips. She tastes so damn wonderful and the sound of her little moans is music, a sweet symphony.
I get so lost kissing her that time and space slip away. I get totally wrapped up in it…
Until I feel a solid whack to the cranium.
“Ouch!”I jump in my seat. Disoriented, I look around massaging the back of my scalp.
Sadie looks confused by my abruptly pulling away. “What’s wrong?”
I bend and scoop up the yellow plastic Frisbee lying at my feet. Sadie slaps a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with shock. “Oh my god. Are you okay?”
“Fuck!” I mutter, still rubbing my head.
She flings what’s left of her ice cream into the rubbish bin and now, her hand covers mine, circling in a soothing motion. Damn—I think I’m starting to feel better already. Until I notice that her shoulders are shaking with laughter.
Still wincing, I look up at her. “Hey! Too soon!” I scold her.
Even as I say it, I find my anger melting. Amusement curls the corners of my lips though I try to hold it back.
Sadie isn’t having any luck suppressing her reaction. Her hands are over her mouth again but she pitches snorts of laughter through her nose. And now, I’m laughing, too. I’m laughing hard, all the pain forgotten.
“I’m—I’m so sorry,” she manages to say between fits of amusement.
“You don’t look sorry,” I remark, tapping the Frisbee against her forehead.
She snatches the weapon from my hand and plops a quick kiss on my lips as her laughter dies down. “I’m totally sorry,” she says.
I don’t mind being the butt of this joke as much as I’m pretending to. It’s so good to see Sadie laughing after all that she’s been through lately. But I’ll be damned if I don’t use this occasion to my advantage. I catch her by the waist and pull her so she’s straddling my lap. “You know what would make me feel better?”
“I’m almost afraid to ask,” she confesses, adjusting her thighs around my hips.
Bending forward, I catch the neckline of her T-shirt between my teeth. “A little motorboat,” I say innocently. Then, I plunge my face into her cleavage and nibble at her delicate skin as I tickle her ribs.
Laughing, she throws her head back and tries to beat me off. “Stop it!” she hisses. “We’re in public. What about the children?”
I pull away and her face is wearing that beautiful pink tint I love so much. But when her head snaps up and her gaze moves just past my shoulder, her cheeks go crimson red.
I take a glance over my shoulder and find two people standing there. The guy is about our age. His brows are slashed aggressively and something like vitriol is brewing in his dark eyes.
Dammit—It’s that dumb wanker ex-boyfriend of hers. Cobi. Dressed in a Hawaiian print button down and shorts so short they look like he stole them from the Chicago Bulls locker room at some point toward the end of the 70s. He’s got his arm looped through the arm of an older woman who looks almost identical to him aside from the string of pearls around her neck, a few wrinkles near her eyes and the neat bun secured at the nape of her neck. The woman is wearing a knee-length Hawaiian print skirt that matches the pattern on her son’s shirt. They slow to a stop in front of us just as Sadie scrambles out of my lap, rising to her feet.
“Oh, there’s our Frisbee.” At the sound of the old lady’s voice, Sadie’s posture goes rigid.
Cobi’s gaze is sharp and cold. “Hello, Sadie.”
She clears her throat, smoothing out the front of her tee. “Cobi, hello.” She doesn’t sound like herself. She isn’t behaving like herself. It’s obvious that the older lady has a strong effect on her. The women share a look and exchange cardboard smiles. “Mrs. Cordner. It’s great to see you. You said this Frisbee is yours?”
“Yes, it is,” the woman says stiffly and snatches the disk away, a little too roughly for my liking. “I’ll have it back now.”
Cobi’s eyes are on me.
Sadie’s voice is flat. “I believe you’ve met Xavier.”
“Hey mate.” My fingers curl into a fist and I lift it into the air. Although I want to slam it into his eye, I do my best impersonation of ‘amicable’. I wait a beat and he knocks his fist into mine, the universal hermano à hermano greeting according to the Bro Code.
The mot
her adjusts the rim of her sun visor and tugs on her son’s arm. “We’d better get going. We don’t want to be late for Hilda’s tai chi class because you know she doesn’t like tardiness.”
Cobi gives Sadie another bitter look and my urge to smack him increases. “Yes, let’s go,” he tells his mother before glancing at us. “Bye folks.”
And just as they’re walking away, I swear I hear the mother mumble. “Well, she moved on fast. What is that they say about trying to turn whores into housewives?”
An angry laugh rumbles through her son. “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, huh?”
Nah, not gonna slide.
I spin out of my seat and go after him, yanking him back by the collar of his god-awful shirt. “What did you just say?”
When he twists around in my grasp, it’s clear he didn’t expect me to hear him say that. “I—I—”
His mother squeals when I give him a shake. “What the fuck did you just say?” I grit out.
“Look, man. I don’t want any trouble!”
“Then, apologize.”
“Xavier, it’s not worth it. Please.” Sadie’s voice pierces through the rage buzzing in my ears, blurring my vision. People are gathering around, watching. I hear a child crying somewhere in the vicinity.
“Apologize!” I demand.
I feel Sadie’s fingers lock around my bicep. I jolt from the soft heat of her fingertips on me. “Xavier, please…” she whispers. “He’s not worth it.” And the sound of her pleading my name is enough to make me forget the world of hurt I was about to unleash on this idiot.
Cobi turns toward her, face red, eyes bulging. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Okay?” He throws his hands up in surrender.
Rich Boy: A Royal Landlord Romance (Blue Collar Bachelors Book 5) Page 19