Love by Design

by Christine Johnson

  Dan joined the aviator. “Sorry about the wait.”

  Jack mustered a wan smile. “Thanks to you, Darcy has a chance.”

  No one dared think how Jack would feel if they managed to save the baby yet lost the mother. No man wanted to consider that option. Dan sure wouldn’t. At times like that, bachelorhood made sense. However, a bachelor had no one to help him through trouble. Look how badly he’d managed Agnes’s death. It would have been easier with someone like Jen at his side.

  Two are better than one...for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow.

  Dan shook his head. Where had that come from? He hadn’t recalled memorized scripture in years, and yet fragments of verses had come to mind twice now.

  “She’s a lot like Darcy,” Jack said.

  Dan blinked. “Who?”

  “Jen.”

  Had the man read his mind? Dan looked down at the loosely clasped hands between his knees. “This is tougher than any aerial maneuver.”

  Jack nodded. He also leaned on his elbows, hands clasped between his knees. “Darcy always said love’s a risk worth taking.”

  Dan wasn’t so sure. “Do you still believe that?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Dan had doubts, but Jack looked sincere.

  “None of us know the future,” Jack said. “Each day could be our last. When you love someone, don’t waste a single moment. That’s what Darcy taught me.” He cleared his throat. “That’s what I’ll always remember.”

  Dan clapped Jack on the back. What could he say? The night would probably get longer.

  “Go to her, old chum,” Jack said. “Don’t waste a moment.”

  “I don’t think she feels the same.”

  Jack shook his head, a wry smile on his face. “You’re fooling yourself. She might act aloof, but she keeps glancing at you.”

  That observation sent a tingle of hope into Dan. He hadn’t ruined his only chance. “I don’t have anything to offer. Not yet.”

  “None of us do, and yet they let us into their hearts anyway.” Jack shook his head. “When I proposed, I’d lost my plane and my only source of income. I was in debt way over my head. She should have told me to go back to New York. Instead, she wanted to work with me, to make a life together.” He blinked and swiped his face with his sleeve before clearing his throat. “Best day of my life.”

  Today might end up the worst, but Dan wasn’t going to let that thinking rule. He would hold out hope the way that everyone else did. At the moment, Jack expected him to mend things with Jen. She sat alone, knees drawn up to her chin, staring out the black window. The Kensingtons had gone to fetch supper. The Sheas murmured softly and held hands, probably in prayer.

  Jack gave him a push. “If you waste another moment, you’ll regret it the rest of your life.”

  “All right. You win.” Dan rose and ventured across the room. By now, few people waited. No one was within hearing distance of Jen. “Mind if I join you?”

  She looked up with red eyes. Without answering, she went back to staring out the window.

  Dan sat gingerly on the chair next to hers. Red eyes meant she’d shed tears. Jen Fox wasn’t as strong and calm as she appeared to be, but that knowledge didn’t make his job easier.

  “I, um, might have been a little hasty earlier tonight.” He waited for her comment.

  She made no indication she’d even heard him.

  He scrubbed the whiskers that were starting to appear at this late hour. “You’re not making this easy on me. I suppose I deserve that.” He swallowed hard. “I shouldn’t have kissed you back when you were leaving for school. I didn’t mean to mislead you.”

  Her shoulders tensed. She obviously didn’t want to hear what he had to say.

  But he had to say it. “I’m sorry. I’m starting to realize that every day is a risk. We can only do our best with the time we’ve got.”

  “There’s no need to explain,” she said bitterly. “I understand perfectly.”

  But she didn’t. He hadn’t said what he truly wanted to say.

  “Mr. Hunter?” The authoritative voice drew everyone’s attention.

  Jen hopped to her feet. “Doctor.”

  Jack got to the man first. “I’m Jack Hunter.”

  “Congratulations, Mr. Hunter. You have a baby boy.”

  Hunter began to tremble. “My wife?”

  “Resting. She and the baby will need to stay here for a week or so for observation.” The doctor looked around at the crowd gathered near. “I understand someone flew Mrs. Hunter here in an airplane.”

  Dan nodded.

  “That was some clear thinking, young man. If it had taken much longer to get here, the outcome might have been different.”

  “Miss Fox was the one who thought of it,” Dan said, but the tears and the congratulations blotted out his words.

  Jack gave him a bear hug followed by a whoop. “A boy. I have a son.” He then hugged Mr. and Mrs. Shea.

  “Would you like to see the baby?” the doctor asked.

  Jack and the Sheas followed the doctor through the massive doors into the hospital proper. Dan and Jen hung back.

  “Thank You, God,” Jen prayed, her eyes closed with reverence and probably exhaustion.

  Dan hugged her close. “And thank you. You gave me the confidence to make that flight.”

  She melted against him, and he realized she must be as exhausted as he was.

  “Would you like some coffee?” he asked.

  She dropped into a chair, somber. “I suppose we should try to get some sleep. Come morning you’ll have to fly the plane back. Maybe Blake will go with you.”

  “He has a car to drive.” Dan sank into the chair beside her and grasped her hand. It was cold. “I’d rather have you in the copilot’s seat.”

  She finally looked at him, a hint of hope brightening those luminous eyes. “You would?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Riding as copilot was merely a parting gift. That was what Jen told herself. Dan hadn’t said he wanted anything beyond that. He’d actually apologized for kissing her. Clearly he was cutting all ties. Fine. She would move on.

  They flew back to Pearlman early the following morning. Jen was exhausted and yet exhilarated. From the navigator’s seat, she saw the world as she’d never seen it before. All her dreams had been wrapped up in that experience, and it didn’t fail her. She arrived even hungrier to fly.

  That wouldn’t happen for a while. Darcy had to stay at the hospital for a week or so to make sure she didn’t have more convulsions. Though childbirth was the only cure, the danger didn’t pass until her health improved. The baby, on the other hand, was doing famously. Though he had arrived early, he was strong and with good, sound lungs, as Jack had pointed out with delight.

  Naturally they had expected Jack to delay the polar expedition, but he strode into the flight school a few days later and announced they were not going to attempt it this year.

  “Sorry, old chum,” Jack said to Dan. “Didn’t mean to string you along. The offer stands for next year if you’re not occupied elsewhere.”

  Dan’s tight smile told Jen all she needed to know. He would not return. That realization hurt more than it should, seeing as he’d made it perfectly clear that he would not consider a relationship or a partnership.

  “I suppose you’re going to take the airmail route now,” she said after Jack left.

  Dan gathered his charts and papers from the table. “It’s already been awarded to someone else.”

  She felt for him. “That’s too bad. Maybe you can get another.”

  “First I have a debt to repay,” he snapped, not looking at her.

  “What debt?”

  He glared.
>
  She’d asked too personal a question. “I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head. “No, I am. I should have seen this coming.” He plunked the papers down on the table. “I should never have requested an advance from Kensington.”

  “But he won’t expect to be repaid,” Jen blurted out.

  “I don’t care what he expects. Dan Wagner honors his word. No expedition means I need to repay him. Period.”

  “But you worked for months. That counts for something. Without your efforts, the expedition won’t get off the ground next year.”

  “Don’t try to talk me out of this.”

  She should have paid attention to his growl, but she clung to faint hope. “You could come back.”

  “I have responsibilities. My family depends on the income I earn to keep the ranch going.”

  She cringed. “I’m sorry.” She’d forgotten that he sent money home. “The newspapers make it sound like...” His instruction not to believe the newspapers popped into her mind, and she stopped.

  “Like I’m rich? The newspapers write what will sell. An honest man trying to help his family doesn’t make a good story.”

  “It should.”

  The corner of his mouth jerked upward for a second before the scowl returned. “I have no choice now.”

  “Air shows.” Suddenly those didn’t sound so glamorous anymore. “I don’t want you to die.”

  That brought a grim smile. “Me, either.” He pressed down on the stack of papers. “Thanks to you, I’ve got to thinking how a man needs to use the talents God gave him to do good in the world. I’m praying He shows me how.”

  How could she deny a righteous cause? That was what she’d wanted when she began the nursing program. It was the only thing that could have kept her there.

  “My mother always says that if God wants you to do something, He’ll clear the path.”

  He gathered up his papers again. “I hope your mother is right—for both of us. What do you plan to do, Jen?”

  “See if I can help Darcy with the baby in exchange for room and board.” That was the only idea she’d had since learning that the house had sold and Mother would soon leave with Ruth.

  He nodded. “That makes sense. And then after that? Do you still plan to take the flight training?”

  “Yes.” Though the desire had waned now that Dan was leaving. She couldn’t bear the gloom that had settled over them. Dan was leaving, and she’d never see him again. She took one final shot. “Maybe Jack will put me in the cockpit next year for the polar attempt.” It was worth saying just to see Dan’s horrified expression.

  He reined it in quickly. “You’ll make a fine navigator. You’re definitely calm under pressure. That’s a key quality in an aviator.”

  “I never thought I’d hear Dan Wagner say that.”

  “Maybe I’ve changed.” He paused. “I don’t suppose you would be willing to let me take you to supper tonight at the restaurant in town.”

  Jen’s stomach fluttered. That sounded an awful lot like a date, but supper together would only increase the pain when he left. “That might not be a good idea.”

  His eyes were dark as the deepest waters and gave her no idea how he felt. He merely nodded. “Maybe you’re right.”

  Then he walked out of the flight school and out of her life.

  * * *

  “You did what?” Minnie cried when Jen explained that she’d turned down Dan’s offer of supper at Lily’s Restaurant.

  Ruth and Beatrice, who had joined the family tonight in order to hear all the details of the daring flight, joined Minnie with so many protests that Jen had to cover her ears.

  “Stop it. He’s leaving anyway. What possible reason could I have to go out with him now? Besides, Mother would not want me to appear alone in public with a gentleman.”

  “Nonsense,” her mother said as she bustled into the kitchen, supposedly to check the chicken roasting in the oven, but more likely to insert her advice. “You should have invited Mr. Wagner to supper here.”

  “But—”

  “No ‘buts.’ Three roasters are more chicken than we could possibly eat. I don’t want leftovers since Ruth, Sammy and I are leaving the day after tomorrow.”

  That was the hardest part to swallow. In less than two days, everyone would leave, the house would be stripped of the last of their belongings, and new owners would arrive. Jen needed to find someplace to stay. Darcy should be arriving home on the same day that Mother and Ruth would leave. With Jack’s approval, Jen could help out until she found a job that paid enough to afford a room.

  It all made sense in her head, but her heart still ached for what would be lost.

  “I’ll send Blake,” Beattie was saying. “He can get Mr. Wagner before he’s ordered.”

  “No, wait,” Jen said, but no one paid her the slightest attention. Having Dan join them would only make the hurt worse. She wasn’t sure she could bear it.

  Beatrice hurried from the room, beaming at the idea of furthering a romance. Since the day Blake returned from driving the Sheas to the hospital, Beatrice had changed. She now looked at her husband with deep respect. The article in the newspaper practically made Blake and Jen and Dan into heroes, and Beattie reveled in the accolades. She’d gone on and on about which women went out of their way to congratulate her. Business was even up at the mercantile. Best of all, the reconciliation between father and son brought peace. Mrs. Kensington even suggested Beatrice run for president of the Ladies’ Aid Society.

  Jen was happy for her sisters, truly she was. All of them had found joy in marriage—or soon would in Minnie’s case. Jen, however, had to watch the only interesting man she’d ever met walk away. It didn’t seem fair. Hadn’t Daddy stood right here and promised to walk her down the aisle one day?

  That would never happen, and it seemed that any chance at marriage had vanished, too.

  “Jen?” Mother touched her arm. “You were a million miles away just then. What’s bothering you?”

  She shook her head, not willing to burden her mother with memories from the past. “It’s just so much upheaval at once.”

  “You have a solid plan, one that will be a great relief to Mr. and Mrs. Hunter.” She kissed Jen’s cheek. “I’m proud of you, dear.”

  Jen smoothed her skirt and stood on first one foot then the other to ease the discomfort of the heeled shoes. Her feet hurt almost as much as those days in the hospital ward, when she wouldn’t have a chance to sit for more than ten minutes in the twelve-hour shift.

  “What do I say to him?”

  Mother blinked. “Who, dear?”

  “Dan. Mr. Wagner.”

  Mother smiled. “Hello is a good start. My dear, you have spent so much time together, surely you have something in common that you can discuss. His plans perhaps?”

  There was nothing left to discuss. Dan was leaving, either for an airmail route somewhere or to the air-show circuit. In either case, he was leaving and wouldn’t consider a partner in business or life so long as he flew. She couldn’t handle a minute more in his presence, much less an entire meal.

  Surely Dan would refuse the invitation. He was a solitary man, the lone wolf that the newspapers portrayed. No woman could capture Daring Dan Wagner. The only one who had come close had died.

  Yet some fifteen or twenty minutes later, after she had carved the birds and Minnie had mashed the potatoes and put the green beans into a large bowl and the gravy into a small one, she heard Dan thank her mother at the front door. “I’ve been longing for a home-cooked meal for ages. I’m sorry I don’t have a hostess gift.”

  “Nonsense,” Mother replied. “None is needed. You’re practically family now.”

  With Peter’s arrival at the kitchen door, they were now complete. Jen squeezed one more mismatched place setting
at the only spot available around the crowded table—Daddy’s seat. The children would eat at the little folding table Blake had set up on the other side of the room. That left the four sisters, Mother, two husbands—Sam being in New York already—and Dan. Eight at their tiny table, not including Sammy, who was too little to eat with the children yet too excited to sleep in his crib. Elbows were bound to bang. Cups could very well spill. There was no room to even breathe.

  Mother beamed. “Your father would be so pleased. He loved to see family together.”

  Jen swallowed the lump in her throat and looked away when Dan entered. Though shorter than Sam and Peter, his presence filled a room. You couldn’t help knowing he was there.

  “Nice place, Mrs. Fox,” he said. “I only saw the front room the last time I was here. How many rooms in total?”

  “Three bedrooms upstairs, the parlor, the living room and this kitchen.”

  While Mother described the house in minute detail, Jen drew Beattie aside. “After everyone is seated, I’ll pass around the serving dishes one at a time, starting with you. There’s no room for them on the table.”

  “Who carved the chicken?”

  “I did. Daddy taught me.” That lump came back.

  Beattie looked between the table and the warming oven. “I can do the serving. You don’t want to miss talking to Mr. Wagner.”

  Sure enough, Mother and her sisters had managed to place Dan next to her chair.

  Jen shook her head. “I’ll do it. Do sit down next to your husband.”

  Beattie blushed and hurried over like a newlywed. Once she was seated, Mother said grace, and then Jen handed the platter of chicken to Beattie.

  “You look very pretty, Jen,” Dan said from the vicinity of her left elbow.

  “It’s just an everyday skirt and blouse.”

  “On you they shine.”

  That compliment sent heat rushing to her cheeks. Jen turned away so no one would notice.

  Blake cleared his throat. “Do I smell mashed potatoes?”

  Jen fetched the potatoes. Why did Dan Wagner always throw her off-kilter? Well, soon enough she wouldn’t have to worry about that. He would be gone, and life would return to its dull and monotonous norm. She handed the potatoes to Beatrice and headed back for the gravy.