Valentine

by Jodi McAlister

  ‘What do you mean you can’t lie?’ I say, gesturing exasperatedly. ‘Everyone can lie. Everyone does.’

  ‘Not me,’ he says. ‘Never once in my life have I lied.’

  ‘Finn, I’ve been at school with you for, like, twelve years. I know you. You lie all the time.’

  ‘I can mislead people, sure,’ he says. ‘That’s easy. You learn, after a while, that there’s ways you can put words together that make people think a certain thing which isn’t true, even though what you’re saying is true. But . . . let’s say you asked me a question. Like you asked me whether the sky is blue. There’s no way I could answer anything but the truth.’

  ‘Have you ever tried?’ I ask. ‘Try now. Tell me the sky is green.’

  He spreads his hands helplessly. ‘I can’t.’

  ‘I don’t get it,’ I say. ‘How can you – it’s just words!’

  ‘It’s like breathing underwater. I can’t do it. At all. If you asked me whether the sky is blue, I could choose not to answer, but if I did, I’d have to tell the truth.’

  ‘This is all beside the point,’ I say. ‘I don’t care if you can lie or can’t lie or if you’re lying to me right now, to be frank. I’m not going to let you go and sacrifice yourself, especially when they might kill me anyway.’

  ‘Well, what alternative do you suggest?’ he snaps. ‘That you be the one who’s sacrificed? Until they realise that hey, they’ve sacrificed a normal person and then come after me? The way I see it, they either get you and me or they just get me. And yeah, maybe then they’d come after you again, but at least you’d have a shot. Work it out.’

  ‘Exactly,’ I say. ‘Let’s work it out, Finn. If we work together, we can figure this out.’

  ‘This isn’t some like some kids’ TV show,’ he says. ‘We’re not going to solve it with the power of teamwork.’

  ‘Do you really want to die that much?’ I demand.

  There’s hurt in his eyes when he looks at me. ‘Of course I don’t want to die,’ he says. ‘And maybe I won’t. Maybe they don’t want to kill me. Maybe –’

  ‘– maybe they want to use your powers for good? To fight crime and cancer and global warming? I don’t think people that put people in comas for kicks are really acting in good faith, do you?’

  ‘All the more reason that you should stay out of this,’ he snaps.

  ‘Newsflash! I’m in it! And I am not going anywhere.’

  I should be. I should be running. He has a point. They’re definitely coming after me at the moment, but they only might come after me if Finn admits that he’s the one they’re looking for. I should have taken Finn up on his offer and run for the freaking hills.

  But I stay.

  ‘You are the most annoying, stubborn person in the whole goddamn world, Linford, you know that?’

  ‘Well, it must be true if it’s coming from you, Mr I-Can’t-Lie.’

  He looks at me seriously. ‘Do you really want to die this much, Pearl?’

  That question makes the fingers wrapped around my heart squeeze even tighter. I feel light-headed, like the world might start spinning at any moment, or like someone might burst out of the wardrobe and yell, ‘PSYCH!’, or like I might wake up.

  But none of those things happen.

  ‘I am seventeen years old and I have my whole damn life ahead of me,’ I say. ‘Of course I don’t want to die. But if you come clean, and they decide I’m worthless, chances are I’m going to end up like Marie.’

  A silence.

  ‘And guess what?’ I go on. ‘You are also seventeen years old and have your whole damn life ahead of you. I’m not going to just abandon you, Finn. We are going to work this out. Between us, we are going to work this out.’

  He closes his eyes, turns away, sighs. ‘Why do you care?’

  ‘Intellectual curiosity and an intense desire to win,’ I lie. ‘Because I don’t want to end up eaten in the creek. And because you saved my life, Finn. I can’t even begin to repay you for that.’

  ‘I didn’t ask you to,’ he says.

  ‘But I’m going to anyway,’ I say. ‘Haven’t you worked it out by now? I’m impossible to get rid of. I’m like one of those colds that you get that you never ever shake. Or like chicken pox. Get it once and it lives in your spine forever.’

  That draws a slight smile from him. ‘I wouldn’t know,’ he says. ‘I don’t get sick.’

  ‘Bull,’ I say. ‘Remember when I dragged you home from Tillie’s party and you were wasted and your hand was pretty much leaking pus? And then –’

  Someone pounds at the door. We both freeze.

  I feel like every single nightmare I’ve ever had has visited me all at once. Whoever – whatever – is out there has come for us. For me. We’re not going to have a chance to figure anything out because we will be dead and –

  ‘Get behind me,’ Finn says, and grabs me before I can protest. His arms are like steel and my fingers dig into his biceps as he stands protectively in front of me. ‘I’ve got you, okay? Whatever happens, I’ve got you.’

  And then the door opens.

  ‘No way, Blacklin,’ Cam says. ‘No effing way.’

  Cam and Annabel both start laughing like they’re about to die. I loosen my death grip on Finn’s arms in the vain hope that maybe, when the ground opens to swallow me up, I don’t take him with me.

  Maybe it would have been better if it had been some horrible dark-wizard-enemy-type person at the door. It would have been way less embarrassing, at any rate.

  ‘Up top,’ Cam says. Finn grins and high-fives him.

  Ugh.

  ‘I have to tell Tricia,’ Annabel says, and bolts from the room.

  Oh God, this is going to be all around the school in about 0.000099276 seconds. OMG, Pearl and Finn are tooooootally hooking up! I knew all that yelling they did at each other was basically foreplay!

  I sink down on the end of one of the beds and put my head in my hands. I am never, ever, ever going to hear the end of this.

  Annabel returns with Tricia, Lili, a few other people, and, worst of all, Cardy, in tow. I kind of wish I had taken that painkiller, because blood has started to pound in my head like a drum and passing out seems like a great way of avoiding this situation right now.

  ‘This. Is. Amazing!’ Tricia says, throwing her arms around me. ‘You two are so perf.’

  Have we entered into an alternate universe? Tricia hates me.

  ‘I knew you were lying to yourself,’ Lili says, hugging me as well, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she hates me too.

  ‘I guess all that we-are-never-ever-ever-getting-back-together stuff was a big fat lie,’ Annabel says, grinning.

  Um, what? Do people think Finn and I have been on again and off again in secret? Is this some kind of assumed knowledge that people have just neglected to tell me? I – OMG, have people been able to tell that I’m hot for Finn?!

  It’s official. I’m going to die of humiliation.

  I settle for a nervous smile. Finn slings his arm around me. I shrug it off, but he puts it back determinedly.

  Oh no, Finn Blacklin. We are not playing this game.

  ‘Nothing happened,’ I blurt out.

  ‘Of course it didn’t,’ Finn says, and tips an enormous wink to the entire room, who burst out into laughter.

  ‘Nothing happened,’ I insist. Finn’s fingers dig into my arm warningly.

  ‘Come off it, Holly!’ Cam scoffs.

  Holly?

  I look at my hands – but they’re not my hands.

  I’d never be able to grow my nails this long, or keep my skin this pale. Experimentally, I reach up and tuck some hair behind my ear. I have hair. Red hair.

  Finn Blacklin has turned me into freaking Holly-Anne Sullivan. This has got to be a nightmare.

  They’re all looking at me – at Holly-Anne. I have to say something. What would Holly do? What would she –

  ‘Oh my God, Tricia, I love your nail polish!’ I say.

  ‘Wh
at?’ Tricia says, looking at me like I’ve just asked her to solve a quadratic equation.

  ‘Um, I –’ Think, Pearl, think! What would a normal, not-you person do in a situation like this?

  ‘Leave her alone,’ Finn says. ‘She’s had a rough night.’

  ‘I’ll bet she has,’ Cam says, and everyone starts laughing. Oh God. My face – Holly’s face – must be the colour of a beetroot right now.

  ‘When I went back to our room and saw you were gone I just knew,’ Annabel says, poking me playfully in the arm as Finn mercifully starts a conversation with Cam and the other dudes about something else.

  Turns out there’s room for yet more panic in my mind. If Holly’s not in her room right now, where is she? I look around the room. There’s quite a sizeable number of people from our year group here, but none of them are Julian.

  Oh God. Phil.

  ‘I have to go,’ I say.

  ‘No, baby, stay,’ Finn says.

  ‘No, I need to go.’

  ‘I want you to stay,’ he says.

  I open my mouth to argue but his fingers dig into my shoulder again. I can’t exactly come out and ask him if he’s got one of his magic hunch things so I subside. ‘All right then,’ I say, and he smiles and kisses the top of my head.

  I try and breathe deeply as the conversation around us thankfully goes off in other directions. You’re the one Julian and Holly are stalking, not Phil, I tell myself. And Julian and Phil are alone together all the time. He won’t hurt her. He wouldn’t. What would it achieve?

  I try to ignore the logical little part of me that says ‘punishing you for disobeying his creepy mirror writing’ and ‘terrifying you into doing whatever he says’.

  I focus on Finn’s arm around me instead, letting him anchor me. I’ve got an ally now. I’ve got weapons. I can work this out. I can fight back. I will fight back.

  ‘So what’s going on with you and the new chick?’ someone asks Cardy.

  ‘No comment,’ Cardy says, smiling enigmatically.

  My eyes drift to his foot, which is still heavily bandaged. I remember what he looked like that day, his eyes almost rolling back in his head with pain, remember what it felt like to have that black ocean crashing down over me.

  How on earth did Cardy get the rock out of his foot? How did he convince whoever is out there looking that he’s not who they’re looking for?

  Maybe there is hope for me if Finn comes clean to Them that he’s . . . I don’t know, their long-lost wizard child or whatever. Maybe I could end up like Cardy, wounded but fine.

  Or maybe I could end up like Marie. Dead. Eaten.

  Should I just flat-out ask Cardy about this? But what if he’s like Finn? Or if he’s the same as Holly and Julian, working for some dark power? I can’t show my hand. Not until I know more.

  ‘What does “no comment” mean, exactly?’ Lili asks him.

  ‘Exactly what I said,’ he says.

  It means something is going on with Cardy and Jenny, that’s what it means. Gross. Maybe she’s the dark power everyone is working for. I wouldn’t put it past her to be the actual manifestation of all that is evil and bad in the world.

  ‘BOYS!’

  Someone pounds on the door outside. I nearly jump through the ceiling. Finn’s arm tightens around me.

  ‘Finn Blacklin, Cam Davidson, open this door!’ Ms Rao exclaims from outside.

  Oh crap.

  Cam sighs and opens the door. Ms Rao storms in. ‘What do you lot think you’re doing?’ she demands.

  ‘Sorry, Ms Rao,’ Annabel mumbles.

  ‘Sorry’s not going to cut it! Mr Molloy and I made it very clear that there were to be no movements in and out of each other’s rooms after lights out.’

  I am so, so glad I am in Holly-Anne’s skin right now.

  ‘All of you are in huge trouble,’ Ms Rao says, hands on hips. ‘Detention. After school. For a week. I am going to be talking to your parents and there will be very serious consequences for this. Do you understand me?’

  There’s a chorus of mumbled yeses. Even though I know that I’m not going to wear the penalty, I feel guilty. I’m not very good at breaking rules.

  ‘All of you, back to bed,’ Ms Rao orders. ‘We’ll discuss this further back at school. And if I catch you out of bed again, I’ll be calling your parents to come and get you, and I’m sure they won’t be very pleased at driving six hours to pick you up. Out of my sight!’

  Everyone starts filing out of the room, but Finn doesn’t loosen his grip around my shoulders.

  ‘You too, Holly-Anne,’ Ms Rao says. ‘Bed. Now.’

  I nod and move to go, but suddenly I’m pressed against Finn, body to body, his arms wrapped around me as he lifts me off the ground in a huge hug. ‘Be careful,’ he breathes, his lips so close they brush my ear. ‘Please. Be careful.’

  ‘I will,’ I whisper into his hair, which is soft and satiny against my face. ‘I promise.’

  ‘Finn!’ Ms Rao snaps.

  ‘Sorry, miss,’ he says, a cheeky grin spreading across his face as he sets me back on my feet. ‘Some things you just have to do, you know?’

  I’m not sure whether Finn meant that whole hugging incident as a delaying tactic or not, but it certainly works as one. I’m alone in the corridor. At least I don’t have to worry about anyone wondering why Holly-Anne is walking into the room I’m sharing with Phil.

  ‘– should have worked,’ I hear Julian say.

  I dive behind the pot plant – I bless whoever put this plant here, from the bottom of my heart – just as Julian and Holly-Anne round the corner.

  ‘They are not going to be pleased,’ Holly says miserably.

  ‘What will They do to us?’ Julian says.

  She shakes her head. ‘I don’t know. But the last guy that failed Them . . .’

  ‘What, Holly-Anne? What?’

  ‘Holly-Anne Sullivan, I told you not two minutes ago to go back to bed,’ Ms Rao snaps, coming out of Finn and Cam’s room. ‘And Julian, I don’t know where you’ve been, but this is not the time to be conducting conversations. Get out of my sight before I give you detention as well.’

  Holly and Julian exchange looks, but part ways silently. I shrink back further as Holly walks past me. I can’t even begin to imagine what would happen if she looked this way and saw her own face looking back at her.

  I wait until the corridor has been clear for almost five minutes before I dare to move again. I tiptoe down the corridor. I wince at the beeping noise the keycard makes when I swipe it. The hand on the door handle is my own. Sometime in the last twenty seconds or so, I have become myself again – but I didn’t even notice it happen, and that frightens me intensely.

  The lights are still off and I can dimly see Phil’s form outlined in her bed. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. At least one thing’s gone right.

  ‘Where the hell have you been, Pearl?’ Phil asks.

  Or not.

  The lie I make up about feeling restless and not being able to sleep and needing to roam the corridors goes down like a lead balloon with Phil. ‘If you needed to get out that much, you should have woken me,’ she snaps at me. ‘I would have gone with you.’

  ‘I didn’t want you to get in trouble,’ I protest.

  ‘Do you have any idea how worried I was?’ she demands. ‘I was about five seconds away from calling your sister in a panic. You’re recovering from a head injury, Pearl!’

  ‘That doesn’t mean I need a babysitter!’

  ‘You know what? Yes, it does. And if you pull anything like that on me again, I swear to God . . .’

  Unspoken in there is the fact that my lie is totally incompatible with the one I told about being tired and wanting to go to bed early and the whole the-light-from-your-tablet-pierces-my-poor-injured-head saga. I know this, and she knows this, and I know she knows that I know that she knows, but she doesn’t say anything, because she is the best and I am the worst and I don’t deserve a friend like her
even a little bit.

  And now I have to break her and her boyfriend up and make her eleventy different kinds of sad. Epic fail, life.

  She’s pretty distant with me the next day – emotionally, anyway. I know she’s still furious with me, but she sticks to my side like a limpet. I wonder how on earth I’m going to get her to forgive me as we sit through the second day of your-HSC-English-exams-will-literally-kill-you-if-you-don’t-study-for-them-seven-hours-a-day-starting-yesterday lectures. Phil’s pretty hard to anger, but once she gets mad, she stays mad.

  I think about telling her the truth again, but discard that notion pretty quickly. The kindest thing I can possibly do for her is keep her well away from all this supernatural trouble.

  Finn is sitting two rows behind us in the lecture theatre. It’s kind of comforting that whenever I look over my shoulder to check for murderers, I see him instead. If and when whatever is going to go down goes down, I want him nearby. I don’t know what kind of paranormal firepower he has, but it has to be better than nothing.

  Oh God, we have to figure this out. I can’t live like this.

  A few seats along from Finn, Jenny and Cardy are sitting next to each other, whispering. Vom. Must remember to float theory with Finn that Jenny is the big bad around here. I mean, she came to town right when things started to go down, right? Plus, she’s the worst, so that definitely means she’s evil. It’s absolutely not that I’m jealous, or . . .

  They’re still whispering and giggling with each other as we loiter out the front waiting for our coach back to Haylesford later that afternoon. I force myself not to look at them. Instead, I end up looking at Finn, leaning against a wall, bag at his feet, looking all the world like a male model.

  How come he was last on the list of V-Day babies the wizards or whatever came after? You only need to look at him to tell he’s something supernatural. Normal people are not that pretty. Like, not ever. Even with airbrushing.

  I pull my hat further down over my head, suddenly very, very conscious of my baldness and my scars.

  ‘– can’t believe we got caught like that last night,’ I overhear Lili saying.

  ‘It’s probably Cam’s fault,’ Annabel says gloomily. ‘His voice is so freaking loud. Sorry.’