List of Sins: A Steamy Romance: Seduced by Lust

by Holt, S. w.

  List of Sins

  Book One:

  Seduced by Lust

  By: S.w. Holt

  Cover Art: S.w. Holt

  Copyright 2015 S.w. Holt

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  The trouble with life is that it sneaks up on you and slaps you across the face when you least expect it. That saying 'life is what happens when you are making other plans' certainly applies. However, what happens when the plans you were making should have been in line with what life had in store? Even when careful planning should have ensured a satisfactory outcome, maybe it's that you were too distracted, rendering you unaware. In my case, I am left having to make unfortunate decisions, ones that are not as clear cut as that, because I find the line between the two intersects. I guess that when the lines are crossed, there’s nothing left to do but blur the lines.

  Chapter One

  When growing up, things were handed to me, but even once I became an adult, real life hardships, sacrifices, and hard work escaped me. My friend Amelia has always called me a pampered princess. Up until recently, I would have agreed with her. Though I have been an adult officially for several years now, I've lived a somewhat privileged life. So with my life now in turmoil, I'm completely and utterly blindsided, desperately channeling my inner strength to brace myself for what's inevitably about to come.

  Looking back, I realize that my parents wanted to afford me all the opportunities life had to offer rarely telling me no. Largely due to their guilt and being powerless over what life had dealt us…me. As a result, they neglected to demonstrate to me just how hard life outside of their protective cocoon would be. In effect, I was ill-prepared for being an adult. I lacked some of the fundamental skills that most people obtain by the simple things such as their first job or participating in school activities. That's certainly not to say that I was completely oblivious to certain concepts like working for a living and paying your own way. I was just so caught up in the fantasy of adulthood and honestly, going from my parents’ home, to college, then to getting married at twenty-one, I've hardly lived anything but a sheltered life.

  Truth is that when I became a teenager, I just never allowed myself to indulge in idle daydreaming about things like my wedding, having kids, or what kind of career I would have. Those typical dreams that a young girl would have didn’t come to me until later when I graduated from high school. That's mainly because none of it was thought to even be a possibility for me.

  I was never supposed to live this long.

  Being diagnosed with Leukemia at the young age of twelve with less than a thirty percent chance of survival, none of us thought I would live past fifteen. Against the odds, I'm still here. I fought the disease hard for four years. Being in and out of the hospital for that many years didn't provide me with much of a childhood, or allow for close friendships. When I did make friends many of them had grave diseases much like mine. After losing so many friends to their terminal illnesses, I kept would-be friends at a great distance. Given the gravity of my sickness and extraordinary full recovery, I’m proof that faith, perseverance and fantastic doctors make for my being a miracle. That miracle doesn’t extend to just my having lived past fifteen, but that I'm twenty-nine and in remission for almost thirteen years. That is something I do not take for granted, not even for one day. It's a sneaky and nasty disease, as healthy as I am today, the cancer can come back at any time in a multitude of forms.

  “Laney?” My husband's voice calls out from behind me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

  I turn around slowly, trying to gain my composure. “What?” I avoid eye contact.

  “Did you put Charlie's inhaler in his bag?” He asks with impatience coating his words.

  Feeling incensed at his inference, “Yes, of course, I did. Do you think I'm just a negligent mother?”

  He sighs, “No of course not. I just wish you would get an additional prescription so I can have one at my place.” He pauses then slinging Charlie's bag over his shoulder, “Why don't you see to that this week.” His voice is condescending. Obviously designed to get under my skin.

  “Okay, I'll get on that if you agree to stop being so blatantly cavalier about our situation.” I snap back.

  His handsome face scrunches, “What do you mean?” His eyes darting to the doorway where Charlie is now standing, looking at us with such innocence. He hasn’t a clue what is happening to his family and I want to keep it that way for as long as possible. His six-year-old mind needs to be free of our ugly adult problems and influences.

  “Never mind,” I say motioning my head toward the doorway. “We'll discuss this later. Please go now, I have an appointment to get to anyway. I'll try to get another inhaler by your next visit. By the way, are you still planning on taking him next weekend? I have that show that I can't miss.”

  Marcus stiffens which I instantly know means that he is not taking him. Shaking his head, “Noo, I can't have him next weekend. I promised Meli that I would take her out of town for some much needed pampering. Surely you would understand how important that is at this stage. ” He says while looking away, avoiding the daggers shooting from my eyes.

  “Thanks a lot Marcus. I asked you for help three weeks ago. Now, what am I supposed to do? What about my career?” I snipe in response.

  “Delaney, I pay you enough you don’t need to work. I gave you the house, your car, a generous bank account so that you are able to take care of Charlie correctly. Your career can wait as far as I'm concerned. Besides, your so-called career is hardly going anywhere, if you were realistic for just one minute, you would acknowledge that and stop wasting time.”

  His voice is starting to grow louder and I realize once again that Charlie is standing there listening and absorbing every word. I straighten my back and hold my head up high. I remind myself to take the higher ground. He's right, he did set me up so that Charlie and I would want for nothing but that doesn't make up for what he did to me and Charlie. Besides which, I deserve to pursue my interests. It's not that I don’t want to be there for Charlie but being a fashion blogger allows me to freelance so I can make a living while being present for him. However, I can’t' pursue my car
eer by staying home all day, I do have to get out to fashion events in order for me to have something to blog about.

  The anger that is bubbling in my chest is almost unbearable but I stifle it with all my might. Now is not the time to give Marcus and earful since he's not the only one listening. The worst part is that he would not likely hear what I'm saying but poor Charlie would.

  “Alright, I'll figure out something else. Let's not argue in front of certain people.” Once again, I tilt my head toward the open doorway.

  “I agree.” He looks at me void of emotion, “I'll bring him back before dinner tomorrow.” He starts to exit the room then turns to me, “Let's meet for coffee next week, I have some things we need to discuss...alone.”

  My heart skips a beat. I know exactly what he wishes to talk about and it makes me nauseated. It brings me back around to making decisions. Ones that I know I have to address soon, but I don’t want to.

  “Sure, we can meet while he's in school.” My voice cracks as I stifle the lump that has formed in my throat.

  “Fine, I'll let you know tomorrow what day I can meet.” His tone is stiff and impatient.

  “Wait! I'm sorry did you say you are bringing him home tomorrow? I thought you were taking him until Sunday!” I'm practically whispering so Charlie doesn’t hear.

  Marcus throws his head back then looks at me with his eyes piercing me, “You need to get it together, I already told you that Meli and I have a dinner to attend tomorrow night. I said I would bring him by on our way to our function. Now we are not discussing this any further.”

  I look over and notice that Charlie isn’t lingering in the doorway to his room any longer. I follow Marcus out of the room downstairs to the family room where Charlie is sitting on the dark brown leather ottoman waiting for his dad. He doesn’t look up from his tablet that his dad bought him for his birthday. Such an extravagant gift for a little boy. It's obvious that his guilty conscience is making up for the enormous amount of sadness that he has put the little guy through.

  Leaning down I take my son into my arms kissing the top of his little blonde head. “Have a super fun time with daddy my little man. Maybe tomorrow night we can make some popcorn and watch movies together. Would you like that?”

  He nods while wrapping his little arms around me saying in my ear, “I love you mommy, you’re mine.”

  “And you are mine, I love you too my sweet boy. Now go have fun!” I say quietly so only he can hear.

  Looking up I see Marcus is watching us. It makes me feel enraged. He has taken so much happiness away from me. He is the cause of my sorrow and my fury.

  Walking them to the door I say to Marcus, “Text me when you are on your way tomorrow.”

  “Why?” Marcus snarls.

  “Geeze Marcus, just do it okay, you don’t need to question everything!”

  I don’t give him a chance to respond, brushing past him I walk out to the car and kiss my son on the cheek then check his belt.

  As they pull away in Marcus Lancaster's mid-life crisis, I cringe.

  Though it's the middle of May, I suddenly feel a chill tingling down my spine so I sprint inside to the empty and cavernous house that no longer feels like a home.

  The sadness in my soul is frightening. While I’m furious with my husband and how he has handled the whole situation, there are times in my darkest moments where I desperately want to be a family again. Despite all that has transpired. I don’t consider myself a weak woman, after all that I have been through, I'd say I'm quite the opposite. Days like today though, my defenses are down. Coupled with the fact that Marcus has moved on, my judgement can become clouded.

  Times such as these, I resort to self-deprecating thoughts like why wasn’t I enough? Is there something wrong with me? Or even worse, will I ever find someone to love me again who will love Charlie too?

  I snort out loud at myself and my pathetic musings. I find the trouble with my being alone can sometimes mean I become engulfed in my treacherous mind. While I lie on the sofa watching the leaves from the trees outside dance on the ceiling in the twilight, my mind travels back, to when this torture began.

  Seven months ago...

  “Happy birthday my love!” I sing-song while bounding into bed with Marcus. “I'm naked!”

  He sleepily opens his eyes and smiles, “Are you my birthday present?”

  “One of them,” I say while I climb on top of my husband who as I expected, is already aroused.

  Before he starts to speak, I kiss him, forgiving the morning breath, I passionately seek his tongue with my own. He responds with a guttural moan which gives me further encouragement. Moving the sheets off him exposing his beautiful body I hover over him kissing my way down the peaks and valleys of his chest and abdomen. Tracing each firm curve with my tongue, he continues to moan his approval. Making it to his hardness, I run my tongue up and down his length, preparing him for the rest of me.

  His hands finding my chest he begins his assault of my breasts, caressing my supple nipples with his adept fingers. I too let out a moan of pleasure. The foreplay continues to the point where I am burning with need to feel his length consume me. With his hands on my hips, he helps guide me onto his shaft and as I lower myself, I release a loud moan from the intense pleasure. I begin to move myself up and down feeling his length hit my magic spot, I know it's not going to take long for me to reach my climax. He starts rubbing my sex in a sensuous circular motion, which is heightening the sensation of desire and the burn of pleasure coursing its way to my core. As I slam myself down with more velocity, he stops rubbing me and grabs onto my ass, guiding me up and down with an increased intensity. Just as the head hits my spot, I feel and explosion, an incredible release in my core radiating through my entire body. While still climaxing, I slam myself down on him two more times before he grabs my hips holding them in place while he yells out from his climax, joining me in oblivion.

  A few moments of afterglow and Marcus breaks the silence of our breathing which seems to be totally in sync.

  “I have to say, this birthday is off to a banging start!” He says in his tongue and cheek voice.

  I roll onto my side so I can respond with an equally cheesy quip, but the simmering look on his face causes me to pause. Sometimes I forget just how attracted to my husband that I am. Being a former fitness model turned successful entertainment lawyer, his prowess both in the bedroom and in business are enough to make most women swoon. Of course, his looks are part of what makes me continue to drool. Though, one would think that after eight years of marriage, I would find myself growing immune. The truth is, his dark chestnut brown hair paired with sparkling dark blue eyes and to top it off, his rugged but boyish charm, are some of the things still has me enraptured. That and he has this certain way of looking at me with his bedroom eyes that make me instantly putty in his hands. It's like I get butterflies still to this day. I only hope this hold he has on me continues to the day we die.

  Realizing that it’s time for me to get our son Charlie off to school, I quickly kiss him on the tip of his nose. “Well, don’t forget this is only the beginning. We've got Charlie going to my folks tonight and have reservations at The Grill for seven.” I say as I slide out of bed.

  “That sounds great, hope you got a window seat.”

  I smile to myself as I slip into my white silky robe, “Yes of course I did. Oh, I hope you don’t mind, but I invited Amelia and Ryan to join us for dinner then back here for champagne and birthday cake.”

  He clicks his tongue responding quickly, “I don’t mind as long as I still get my birthday spanking later.”

  Tying my bed hair into a loose bun on top of my head. I turn back to face him, “Listen naughty birthday boy, blow out your candles just right and you might have your wish come true.”

  Jumping out of bed, “Excellent, I'll take an extra deep breath to ensure that outcome. Tell Charlie boy I'll be down to say goodbye before he leaves for school.”

  “Will do. Now you'd better
hit the shower dirty man, you don't want to be late for work.”

  I hear him utter something in response, but I don’t stick around to find out.

  Down the hall where Charlie's room is situated, I hear music. Once I'm just outside his door, I can make out its Carrie Underwood, literally his favorite artist. I dare say he has a little crush. At such a young age, he takes after his father where the ladies are concerned...he likes all the girls but has his eyes set on just one.

  “Good morning, sunshine.” I chirp as I enter my son's room.

  “Oh hi, mommy. I'm just about ready, I just have to brush my tooths.”

  “Teeth.” I correct.

  “Teeth.” He repeats. “What's for breakfast? Can I have a hot lunch today and will you pleeease let me take my iPod to school for the bus ride home?”

  “Whoa, slow down there captain. Why do you want to listen to music on the ride home? I thought you liked talking to your buddies on the way? And no hot lunch, I've already packed your lunch it's in the fridge.”