Talk to the Paw

by Melinda Metz

  He noticed a flier on bright blue paper attached to a tree near the corner, something that wasn’t allowed in Storybook Court. He was surprised Hud hadn’t dealt with it already. He diligently enforced even the most inconsequential rule.

  When David got close enough to read the flier, he realized that no one but Hud himself could have put it up. He must have had them made this morning. The flier said: “Storybrook Crime Spree! If something of yours has been stolen, come to the fountain. If you’ve found any items you don’t recognize on your property, bring them to the fountain. Statements will be taken. The thief and all accomplices will be caught and not released for two to four years.”

  That made no sense. Why would a thief leave the stolen goods on other people’s property? Although that pony of Riley’s had ended up in front of Ruby’s house. And Zachary had found Addison’s diary outside his. Weird. But definitely not some kind of crime ring, the way Hud was spinning it. None of the things that had been taken from him would sell for enough to buy a drink at the Blue Palm.

  He passed seven more trees with fliers before he reached Jamie’s street. Hud had gone all out. David didn’t think Hud had any other speed but all out. He was sitting over by the fountain right now, tying a fly and waiting for subjects to interrogate.

  He shoved his sunglasses down on his nose when he saw David approach. “Sports Fan! Good to see ya. Decided you should do your part for our community and make a statement against the thief?”

  “No. I’m good. It was just a jock, Hud. And I’m not going to bring charges against a cat,” David answered.

  “A cat trained by a thief,” Hud countered.

  David gave him a wave and kept walking. He grinned as he turned up Jamie’s walkway. A tan-and-brown tabby cat sat in the front window, staring at Hud. It turned its attention to David, gave a meow of greeting, then leapt down. When Jamie opened the door, she held the cat under one arm. “I don’t trust him not to try to make a run for it,” she explained as she stepped back to let David inside. “I found his escape route, a rip in the screen around the porch. I fixed it so he won’t be able to bother you again. Or Diogee. I didn’t tell you this, but I saw Mac whack Diogee on the nose a few times last night.” She paused for a second. “Am I talking a lot? And really fast? I am,” she said, answering her own question.

  “No problem,” David said. “And Diogee’s fine. No signs of being cat-slapped.”

  “Good.” Jamie drew in a deep breath. “It’s been a strange day having all those fliers around. They don’t say my name, but I know they’re about me.”

  “No one takes Hud seriously,” David told her.

  “That’s something. Here’s the stuff that Mac has left on my doormat.” Jamie led him over to a cardboard box sitting on the coffee table. He sat down and opened it. Jamie stayed on her feet, watching him. Mac jumped up on the arm of the couch and watched, too, purring loudly.

  David pulled out one of his sasquatch socks, one of his tube socks, his A’s T-shirt, and a pair of boxer briefs. “These are mine.” He took out a white hand towel. “This, too, I’m pretty sure.” He looked over at Mac. “You’ve been busy.”

  “I’ll buy you another hand towel. I actually used that as a dust rag. It was the first thing that showed up, and I didn’t think it belonged to anyone. I mean, I knew it didn’t belong to me. I just thought it got left behind by the previous tenant or something. And I’m talking too much again.”

  She’d gotten so flustered that her cheeks had flushed and her eyes were extra bright. Agitation looked good on her. David scratched the cat under his chin, and Mac’s purring went up to eleven. “You said he’s never done anything like this before?” David asked Jamie.

  “Never. But I used to live in an apartment, and he never got out. I still can’t believe he did this,” she answered.

  “Can you sit down? It’s making me nervous just looking at you,” David told her, and Jamie sat. “It’s really no big thing.” He took another look in the box. “Seems like at least half the stuff was mine. I wonder how he picked his victims.”

  “I can’t possibly explain the mind of a cat,” Jamie answered. “Especially MacGyver’s.”

  “It’s easy to explain Diogee’s. He has a few things he loves, like walks and treats, and he wants them all the time. Except when he’s snoozing.”

  “So, kind of like a guy.” Jamie slapped her hand over her mouth and rounded her eyes in exaggerated horror. “Did I say that?” she mumbled through her fingers.

  David laughed. “Yeah, you did. But I’m not offended. Cats, and women, might be more complicated, but that doesn’t make them superior.”

  Jamie lowered her hand and smiled at him. “True. In fact, there are times when I wish I thought a little less.” She gave a sigh. “What am I supposed to do with the rest of the stuff Mac brought home?” Jamie asked. “Should I bring it out to the fountain? I want whoever it belongs to to get it back. But if Hud tries to interrogate me again, I might end up doing something that I’ll regret. Probably regret.”

  “I’m intrigued. Like what?” David asked.

  “Like . . . push him in the fountain,” Jamie answered. “I can’t actually think of anything worse. See? I’m not really an evil genius, slowly robbing all my neighbors with the help of my cat. If I was, I’d be able to think of a whole bunch of things to do to him.”

  “I’ll go with you,” David offered. “But I’m not going to try to restrain you if you decide to shove Hud in the fountain. I’d enjoy watching too much.”

  “Thanks.” Jamie picked up the box. “Let’s get this over with.” She led the way out to the courtyard.

  “You’re one of the good ones, Sports Fan!” Hud called to David. “Not many would be as forgiving as you. Socializing with the thief who stole from you. I guess it doesn’t hurt that Toots here is easy on the eyes.”

  “Hud, Toots—I mean, Jamie—didn’t even know what her cat was doing until last night.” He glanced back at Jamie’s house. Mac was back in the window, watching.

  “Are you planning on showing me what’s in the box?” Hud asked Jamie.

  Jamie silently unpacked the box, laying the boxers, tighty-whities, orange Speedo, and the rest of the stuff on the edge of the fountain.

  “I hope these get back to whoever my cat took them from,” Jamie said.

  “Hey, Sugar Baby. What did you have stolen?” Hud asked Addison as she came up.

  “Don’t call me that,” Addison growled. “And, nothing. This was on our doorstep.” She dropped a Great Mushroom War T-shirt next to the stuff Jamie had laid out.

  “That’s Zachary’s shirt,” David said. He was about to offer to take it back to him, but thought Zachary would much rather have Addison do that.

  Addison eyed the shirt. “That’s Zachary’s? He doesn’t seem like an Adventure Time kind of guy.”

  “When’s the last time you two actually talked to each other? Back when you were seven or something like that?” David asked. “He grew up, too, you know.”

  “Whatever,” she muttered, then left with the shirt. Marie took her place next to David.

  “I heard that you and Helen’s godson didn’t hit it off,” Marie said to Jamie. “Helen said he said you were sour, the way some women get if they haven’t gotten married by your age.”

  Jamie’s mouth opened and shut like she was trying to answer but unable to find the right words. “He said what?” she finally got out.

  “He’s a little weasel, always has been,” Marie answered. “Don’t worry about it. I found out that my great-nephew is dating someone, but our dentist just got divorced. I’ll set something up.”

  “No! Marie, no! I told you I don’t want to meet anyone. No guys. This year is The Year of Me,” Jamie blurted out.

  Marie sniffed. “That’s ridiculous.”

  “Many criminals aren’t able to form normal relationships,” Hud jumped in. “They’re able to steal and worse because they don’t have the same emotions as the rest of us.”

&
nbsp; “My emotions are fine,” Jamie told Hud. “If I get a cavity, I’ll see your dentist. Otherwise, forget it,” Jamie told Marie. She turned and stalked away.

  David followed her. “ ‘The Year of Me’?” he asked.

  Jamie groaned. “I keep saying things out loud that I mean to keep inside my head.” She sat down on one of her porch steps, and David sat next to her. “I have been calling this The Year of Me, but only to myself,” she admitted. “When my mom died, she left me enough money to take a year off. And, like I told you the other night, I want to try to figure out if there’s something else I want to be doing with my life. I just don’t want to start up a relationship right now, even though Marie and Helen seem to think that’s all I should be thinking about.”

  “I’m sorry—about your mother,” David told her.

  “Thanks,” Jamie answered. “It’s been a little more than a year. I . . . the pain of it was so intense, and now that it’s fading, it’s almost worse. Because the . . . the specifics of her are fading, too, getting just a little fuzzy, and I hate that.”

  “I know,” David answered.

  “Are your parents still with you?”

  “Yeah. They live in Northern California. I drive up there a couple times a year. I have a brother up there, too. But my wife, she’s been . . . she died almost three years ago. Sometimes I can’t remember things as clearly as I used to, like her laugh. Sometimes I can still hear it in my head, but sometimes it just won’t come.”

  Jamie nodded. “Exactly. Exactly.”

  Adam would be shaking his head right now. Here was David, bringing up Clarissa when he was sitting next to an attractive woman. But this wasn’t like that night when he and Adam had been at the Blue Palm. He wasn’t trying to start something up with Jamie. They were just talking, like friends. He liked talking to her.

  * * *

  Mac opened his mouth and pulled in a long breath, enjoying the way Jamie’s scent changed when she was sitting with the man. His changed, too. The lonely smell was lessening, and something else was taking its place, something warm, something inviting.

  Still, the desire to search wouldn’t leave him. In stealth mode, he crept to the screened-in porch, forgetting that Jamie had blocked his secret passageway. Pffft. As if that could stop him. He’d gone down a chimney. Going up shouldn’t be too much harder.

  Although his body was thrumming with the need to act, he decided to wait until Jamie went to bed. Then he would make his move.

  CHAPTER 11

  “Well, I haven’t been to a puppet show since I saw one at the library when I was about six,” Jamie told Ruby. “So, I guess this will almost count as something new.”

  “It absolutely will,” Ruby said as she maneuvered her Bug into a space on the street between an SUV and a fire hydrant. “Almighty Opp isn’t just a puppet show. The guys who created it call it a service. I’m not going to even attempt to describe it to you. It’s something you have to experience.”

  They got out of the car and crossed the street. “Holy cripes, is that a giant bucket of chicken?” Jamie asked.

  “Oh my gosh, yes, it is.” Ruby teased. “They don’t have ten-story, bucket-shaped KFCs in Pennsylvania?”

  “Not in Avella, or any other place I’ve ever been,” Jamie answered.

  Ruby came to a stop by a bus stop across from a dollar store and a few apartment buildings. A couple teenage guys had set up lawn chairs on the sidewalk and were drinking PBRs. Ruby smiled at them, and they waved to her. “Is the theater near here?” Jamie asked.

  “The theater is here. Or it will be,” Ruby said. “They perform on the sidewalk.”

  “Do they do this full-time, do you think? Like, as a job?” Jamie saw a hipster couple toting folding chairs heading their way.

  “They only do a performance once a month, so doubtful. They get donations, but I’m not even sure they’d cover the costs. The guys are always adding new stuff,” Ruby answered. “I think the main reason they do it is because it makes them happy. I think they might actually want to change the world, or at least the people who show up.”

  “Thanks so much for bringing me.” Jamie couldn’t wait to see what the show—or the service—turned out to be like. From what Ruby had said, the guys who’d created the Almighty Opp had found their passion.

  Ruby wrapped her arm around Jamie and gave her a squeeze. “I’ve been neglecting your LA education. But I’m going to get you out to see the sights.”

  “Isn’t it supposed to start at nine?” There was no sign of the performers.

  “Punctuality isn’t an Opp thing,” Ruby answered. “But they’ll be here.”

  “I wonder if anything will go missing tonight. It’s been two days since I fixed the rip in the screen Mac was using to get out, but stuff is still getting stolen. There were a bunch of new things dropped off at the fountain. Mac can’t be responsible for them—not the new ones. I didn’t bother telling Hud that. He can twist anything I say so it fits his theory that I’m a criminal mastermind. Like, he’s sure that I left things on other people’s doorsteps to throw suspicion off me. He thinks I put the stuff I really wanted on my own doorstep and am using the rest as a smokescreen. Because you know how much I’ve been wanting a neon-orange Speedo.”

  “I don’t think it would have made any difference if you dragged him into your porch and showed him the spot in the screen you fixed,” Ruby said. “He doesn’t think Mac is your only accomplice, remember? He’d probably think I stole the new stuff—if you actually convinced him Mac couldn’t get out of the house. He gives me the side-eye every time he sees me. He’s sure I’m one of your goons.”

  “The craziest part is that Mac did steal some stuff. I saw him take David’s jockstrap. It’s bizarre that someone else happened to be nabbing things at the same time Mac was.”

  “Maybe Mac has a copycat,” Ruby suggested. She elbowed Jamie in the ribs. “Get it? Copycat.”

  “I actually don’t. Do you think you could explain it to me? I’m but a naïve, small-town girl.” Jamie fluttered her eyelashes. “But, come on, it’s weird.”

  “Yeah,” Ruby admitted. “You haven’t gotten anything else left at your place, have you?”

  “No. I would have told you right away. I hope you don’t mind that you’ve become my go-to to calm me down, give me advice, and feed me cookies,” Jamie said.

  “It’s all my pleasure,” Ruby answered. “When I’m working on a project, those people become almost like my family. When the movie wraps, we all say we’ll keep in touch. But we don’t, unless we end up working together again. I can use a friend who isn’t in the business, especially because my next movie doesn’t start production for a few months.”

  Jamie did another street check. “They’ll come. Don’t worry,” Ruby told her. “In your fountain watching, have you seen David again?”

  “Nope,” Jamie answered. “He must not have gotten anything else taken since I gave him back the stuff Mac brought me. I think he’d have checked with me if he did, since I had all the other things.”

  “It seemed kind of like the universe was trying to throw you two together, with you seeing each other at the pet shop, then being at the same restaurants for your dates, which both sucked, then running into each other at the bar,” Ruby told her. “And then, to top it off, your cat was stealing from him.”

  “I could deal with you decorating for Christmas in September,” Jamie answered. “In fact, I thought it was charming. But if you’re going to start talking about the universe’s intentions for me, that I won’t be able to take.”

  Ruby held up both hands. “Okay, okay. But David’s a great guy. And you’re great, too. And I don’t want to be like Marie and Helen, but—”

  “Then don’t,” Jamie pleaded. “Just believe me when I tell you I don’t want to get anything going with anybody right now. Even somebody great. Because I agree, David seems like a great guy. He’s funny, nice, didn’t suggest anything obscene within a few hours of meeting me, even bought me a
drink after my night with the complete user.”

  “And nice butt,” Ruby said.

  “Okay, yes, he’s also good-looking, from all angles,” Jamie admitted. “But, seriously, I’m not interested.”

  “I know. And I get it, I do. But I’ve known David for years. I’d like to see him happy. He’s had a hard bunch of years. And even though I’ve only known you for weeks, I’d like to see you happy, too. I can see you two together. David’s not someone who could get in the way of you figuring out what you want to do with your life. I think he’d encourage you.”

  Jamie wanted off this topic. “I talked to the administration office at the college today, and they’re letting me apply the fee for the drama class to a special-effects makeup one,” Jamie said. “I’m continuing on with your advice to try new things. Plus, I’ll be able to create an awesome Halloween costume.”

  “Here they come!” Ruby exclaimed. She pointed down the street at two men in clown makeup riding bikes toward them. Both bikes towed carts that looked like mini covered wagons.

  Maybe the universe is on my side, Jamie thought. Now Ruby won’t have the chance to turn the conversation back around to David. The two men pulled up next to the bus stop and began to unload, silently urging Jamie and Ruby to help.

  She felt a tingle of excitement as she saw the stage coming together, complete with two big tops, a confetti cannon, and a collection of wonderfully strange puppets. If you did this, come out to a quiet neighborhood, almost unannounced, to put on a show that probably wouldn’t pay for itself, you had to do it out of love. If these guys had found something they loved to do, so could she. And that was where she wanted to keep her focus. So, no guys for now, for this gift of a year. Especially no David, because he seemed like he could be a distraction, a way-too-enjoyable distraction.

  * * *

  “Addison brought me back my Adventure Time T-shirt,” Zachary told David as they set out for a walk with Diogee. “She said it ended up in front of her door, and that you told her it was mine.”

  It had been a few days since Addison had brought the shirt to the fountain. She’d taken her time giving the shirt back. Not that David was going to tell Zachary that. David could see Zachary was struggling to keep his voice casual, but the kid couldn’t stop smiling. “How is the shrew?” He couldn’t resist teasing Zachary a little.