Talk to the Paw

by Melinda Metz

“Oh, gross, he got me on the mouth.” Zachary backed up until Diogee’s paws dropped back to the ground. “Addison and I are going to do our English homework together.”

  That explained the sweet stench. Zachary had clearly discovered cologne. “I guess this means she’s reconsidered and doesn’t think you’re a perv anymore.” David gave Diogee a knuckle rub on the top of the head as a thank-you to the dog for keeping his tongue to himself.

  “My shirt turned up on her doormat again, and she brought it back,” Zachary answered. “She said since a bunch of other things have gone missing and turned up on other people’s doormats that she shouldn’t have blamed me for the bra. I still don’t know why she was blaming me in the first place, since I was the one bringing it back. Why would I have brought it back if I was the one who took it? Anyway, we started talking about this English assignment and decided to work on it together.”

  “Does that mean she dumped the boyfriend?” David asked.

  “No. Not from what I saw at lunch. But it’s not like we’re going out or something. We’re just doing homework together,” Zachary said. “I can walk with you as far as her house. Come on, Big D!”

  “Uhhh.” David tried to think of a tactful way to say what needed to be said. “You might want to wash off a little of the cologne.” That was the best he could come up with.

  Zachary blushed. “Does it smell bad?” He sounded horrified.

  “No. It’s not that. It’s just that a little of that stuff goes a long way,” David answered. “Not that I know much about it. Clarissa wasn’t a fan of cologne. She said she liked my ‘natural manly odor’.” He could still hear the smile in her voice when she’d say that to him, which was almost every time he came back from a run.

  “Really? I thought all girls liked it,” Zachary said, pulling out the collar of his shirt and taking a whiff of himself.

  “Not all,” David answered. “But if you wear it, it’s not something everyone sitting around you in class should smell. A girl shouldn’t smell it unless she gets close to you.”

  Zachary blushed again. He checked his cell. “I have time to wash some off. I’ll see you later.” He took off for his house.

  “Do you remember when he thought she was a shrew?” David asked Diogee as they started down the sidewalk. He decided to head over to Jamie’s and give her an update on the Storybook Court teen romance.

  When they turned onto Glass Slipper Street, Diogee gave a happy woof and broke into a gallop. David ran alongside him, and they both skidded to a stop in front of Ruby, who was walking across the courtyard.

  “How are you two big idiots?” Ruby asked, leaning down to give Diogee a hug before he could plant his paws on her shoulders.

  “Hey, we may not be the brightest bulbs, but ‘idiots’ is a little harsh,” David protested.

  Ruby shook her head at him. “Not from what I’ve been hearing,” she answered.

  “What have you been hearing?” he asked.

  She just smiled, gave Diogee a pat good-bye, and walked away.

  “Come to look for stolen items?” Hud asked. David hadn’t even noticed him—or the dozens of things spread out on the edge of the fountain. “It’s still not too late to file a report on the item we both know was stolen by our friend over there.” He nodded toward Jamie’s house, where both Jamie and Mac were looking out the window at them.

  “Not missing anything new,” David told Hud. “And Jamie’s welcome to my jockstrap or anything else.” He let Diogee pull him over to the largest palm tree in the courtyard so he could mark it as his, then he pulled Diogee over to Jamie’s door.

  “You said it was okay to bring him,” he told her when she opened it.

  “It’s more than okay. It’s great.”

  Once they were inside, David unsnapped Diogee’s collar. The dog immediately dropped to the ground and rolled onto his back so she could scratch his belly. She got the message, and crouched down beside him. Diogee’s eyes drifted shut and his tail thumped on the floor as she got to work.

  David saw a streak of tan. It took him a second to identify it as Mac, moving fast. The cat pounced on Diogee’s wagging tail, grabbed it between his paws, gave it a bite, and raced away. Diogee took off after him. A few seconds later, they heard Diogee give a wail.

  “Mac, bad kitty!” Jamie called as they rushed toward the sound. She looked over at him.

  He and Jamie followed the sound and discovered that somehow Diogee had trapped himself in Jamie’s closet. Mac sat on the bed, calmly licking one paw. “What’s wrong with you? You were so good the last time. Did you forget Diogee’s our friend?” Jamie asked her cat as she released his dog. Diogee immediately ran into the living room. “I guess we should keep them in separate rooms for now.” She shut Mac in the bedroom, and leaned against the door.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Hi,” David said.

  He wanted to kiss her, of course. It was like was coming out of suspended animation. He wanted to kiss women again. Well, Jamie. He wanted to kiss Jamie. He hadn’t really thought about kissing anyone else. But that made sense. She was really the only woman besides Lucy and Ruby that he had any real interaction with.

  In a few more months, who knew? Maybe he’d be ready to date somebody for real. Right now, he liked what he had going with Jamie. He liked hanging out with her. It was distracting thinking about kissing—and sex—every other second when he was around her, but it was good to have that impulse back. It was kind of like being a teenager again. And he could just keep pushing those impulses away. He and Jamie had a deal. She was his real friend, and his fake girlfriend. That meant no kissing, unless it was necessary to keep up their charade. Or practice for the charade, which they’d already done. And no sex, ever. Until his brain and not just his body was ready to start up an actual relationship with someone.

  “Uh, you’re staring,” Jamie told him.

  “Sorry. Just thinking.” She raised her eyebrows. “About Zachary. And Addison. You should have smelled the cologne on the kid. At least I convinced him to go wash some off before he went over to study with her. I wonder if he’s the only one who’s thinking of it as more than just studying.”

  “Well, I know that Addison made sure Riley would be out of the house when he came over,” Jamie said. “Which could mean she wanted quiet for studying or that she wanted her little sister out of the way for hanging out with a cute boy. Although, last I knew she had a boyfriend.”

  “A boyfriend she seems to break up with every couple of days,” David answered. “He seems like a jerk, at least from what Zachary read in her diary.”

  “I can’t believe he read her diary,” Jamie said. “Although if it showed up on his doorstep, it would be pretty hard to resist taking a peek.”

  “And reading it is at least part of why he no longer thinks she’s a shrew,” David answered. “Although methinks the boy protested too much about that. I’m pretty sure she was behind Zachary starting up an extreme grooming routine, and that was back when he was still ranting about how horrible she was.”

  Diogee gave a loud woof. “What’s he want?” Jamie asked. “Should I get him a bowl of water?”

  “I think he’s feeling cheated by the shortness of his walk,” David answered. At the word “walk,” Diogee ran into the hall and skidded to a stop in front of them.

  Jamie laughed. “How about if we walk down to Grauman’s? I’m hoping Wonder Woman will be there. I want to ask her some questions about how she got into being one of the characters who takes pictures with people outside the theater.”

  “Great.” David snapped Diogee’s leash on. “Have you thought any more about getting your stuff up on Instagram or some of the other sites?”

  “I spent most of the day working on one of the pictures I took of you,” Jamie answered. “I’ll send it to you. I think Diogee’s head will explode if we don’t leave right now. I showed it to Ruby, and she thought it was cool.”

  David opened the door, and Diogee bolted out. He and Jamie
trotted after him. “I saw Ruby as I was heading over. She called me and my dog ‘big idiots’. I know why she’d call Diogee an idiot, because he is, in fact, an idiot. But she said she’d been hearing things that made her think I was an idiot. Any idea what that was about?”

  Jamie hesitated.

  “What did you tell her?” David asked.

  Jamie hesitated again, then answered. “What happened was somehow it came up that we’d kissed a couple times—as practice. And Ruby thought we were being ridiculous. I’m sure that’s why she called you an idiot.”

  “Ridiculous to think we need practice?” David asked as they left the Court.

  “Ridiculous for not admitting that we were kissing each other because we wanted to be kissing each other, not because we were worried about making our thing look authentic to Marie and Helen and your friends,” Jamie answered.

  David wasn’t sure exactly what to say to that, so he went with, “Huh.”

  “Yeah, Ruby thinks we should stop pretending we’re just helping each other out, and just suck it up and have sex, because we clearly want to and that it doesn’t mean we’re getting all serious, it could just be a friends-with-benefits kind of thing,” Jamie said, speaking so quickly her words ran into each other.

  A bolt of heat shot through David’s body. “Huh,” he managed to say. “What do you think?”

  “I think the idea of benefits is . . . appealing. But I promised myself I’d give myself this year to figure out what I want to be doing with myself and my life, with no distractions,” Jamie answered, speaking even faster. “I think you have your own reasons for not wanting to get involved right now. And no matter what Ruby thinks, friend with benefits is still involved, even if it’s less involved than a full-on relationship or whatever. What do you think?”

  He liked the idea of benefits. A lot. But there was a “no” in all those words she’d just spewed out, and he had to respect that. “I think things are great the way they are,” he told her.

  * * *

  The next morning, Mac sat on the windowsill, staring out at the courtyard, waiting for the right moment. He preferred to do his missions at night, under the cover of darkness, but this one could only be done during the day. He had no doubt he could pull it off. He was MacGyver.

  He heard Jamie clicking around on her computer. She was smelling good. He knew he should have been merciful to Diogee yesterday to make sure nothing interfered with Jamie and David being together. But when he saw that big rope of a tail flopping around, he had to give it a bite. Had to. And it didn’t end up ruining anything. And it was fun.

  He heard the target before he saw her. She always made a jingle-jangle when she walked. And she always smelled of loneliness. But there was someone who replaced the lonely smell with another scent, the scent of blood rushing close to the surface of the skin.

  Mac didn’t quite understand the female’s reaction to the male. Her body went tight, and she froze, the way some cats reacted to big dogs. Some cats who weren’t Mac. When Mac saw a big dog, the big dog had better get ready to talk to the paw—whap, whap, whap. But the way her scent changed told him that she wasn’t afraid of the male. And the male was the only one who caused the reaction in the female. She clearly needed his help.

  Luckily, Jamie always went outside when the female came into the vicinity. He leapt off the sill and positioned himself by the door. Just as he expected, Jamie opened it a few moments later, and Mac slipped out.

  “MacGyver, no!” his person cried.

  He ignored her. He had a mission to complete. He needed one of the jingle-jangles. The female set down her bag, leaving it unguarded. It took Mac a few seconds to figure out the mechanism, then he got one of the shiny things free, snatched it up between his teeth, and ran. He followed the scent trail to the male’s house and left it for him. He hoped the male wouldn’t be as slow to figure things out as Jamie and David had been. But he understood that humans were slow. It was their noses. Mostly.

  CHAPTER 17

  “I blame you,” Jamie told Ruby. “Ever since you said David and I should be friends with benefits, all I can think about is sleeping with him. That means I’ve been obsessed for almost two weeks. It’s making me insane. And don’t tell me not to think about it. It’s impossible. You put it out there, and I hate you.”

  Ruby laughed. “You know my solution. Start doing, and you’ll stop making yourself crazy with the thinking.” She continued using the curling iron to tame Jamie’s curls into loose waves. Mac sat on the edge of the sink, playing with the trickle of water coming out of the faucet.

  “No, I’m actually getting a lot done, even with the obsessing. Maybe even because of the obsessing. Working on the pictures helps distract me.”

  “I love what you’ve got going on MyPics. I want to change careers every time I visit,” Ruby said.

  “I still can’t believe the one of the guy who charges a buck for bad advice has gotten viewed more than sixty thousand times. Most people are probably just clicking by, but still.”

  “You’re a rock star,” Ruby told her, pulling one last lock of Jamie’s hair through the curling iron. “And you look gorgeous.”

  “Thanks for fixing my hair,” Jamie said. She pressed her hands to her stomach. “I can’t believe how nervous I am. Why should I be nervous? I’m sure Adam and Lucy are great.”

  “They are. I don’t know them that well, but they’ve come to a bunch of my Christmas parties. You’ll like them,” Ruby assured her.

  “It feels different pretending to be David’s girlfriend in front of them. They’re so close to David. Adam’s known him since they were kids. It’s not like faking it in front of Marie and Helen.” Jamie tightened the taps, stopping the trickle of water. Mac made a throaty sound that some people might have thought was a purr, but Jamie knew was a complaint.

  “Nobody who sees you together is going to have a hard time believing you’re really a couple. You two—” Ruby didn’t finish. Jamie knew why. She’d asked Ruby about a billion times to quit saying how perfect she and David were for each other.

  “I think I need a glass of wine. David’s not supposed to pick me up for another half an hour. You want to have a glass of wine with me?” Jamie asked.

  “I would, but Riley’s mom is working late tonight, and I told Addison that Riley could come over while she and Zachary study,” Ruby answered, heading for the door.

  “Again? Are they studying, do you think? Or are they studying?” Jamie asked.

  “I’m not sure. But I haven’t heard any Addison rants about the boyfriend, so I’m thinking maybe she dumped him,” Ruby said. “Have fun tonight, okay?” She opened the door, then grabbed Jamie’s hand. “Hud just took something out of his pocket and put it on the fountain. I think it’s time for us to do the questioning.” She rushed outside, tugging Jamie along with her. “Sweet cheeks,” Ruby drawled. “Hold up there a minute.”

  “Are you speaking to me, Toots?” Hud asked, without his usual bravado. He looked pale under the bright floodlights that he’d set up around the fountain to make it convenient for people to look for missing items after dark. There were new things dropped off every day. And Jamie still hadn’t figured out how Mac was doing it.

  “Yes, I’m speaking to you,” Ruby said when they reached him. “I saw you add that little keychain to the missing stuff. That means the thief must have gone right up to your front door, am I right? That’s where everyone finds things—right by the doormat.”

  “Maybe the reason the thief was able to get so close is because Hud is really our thief.” Jamie couldn’t resist teasing the TV detective. “He has motive—everyone knows he wants to prove he’s a great detective. What better way to do that than create an unsolvable mystery, then solve it?”

  The color rushed back into Hud’s face, and he turned and strode away. “I think I actually hurt his feelings,” Jamie said, feeling a prickle of remorse as she watched him go.

  “He’s said basically the same kind of thing to bo
th of us,” Ruby reminded her. “But his ego is so tied up in playing at TV detective. I guess we should take it easy on him.” She picked up the keychain Hud had set on the edge of the fountain. “This looks like one of the ones Sheila keeps on her mailbag.”

  “Yeah. She has a bunch on her purse, too. David and I ran into her at the Thirsty Goat the other night. She and her trivia team had a competition. It was all TV questions, so I thought Sheila would be a star. Once I heard her rattle off everything Hud Martin has done, even guest spots. But she was having an off night. The Trivia Newton-Johns went down—hard.”

  Ruby set the keychain down. “Maybe it just looks like something of hers. Everything else that’s been taken has belonged to somebody who lives here, right?”

  “I think so. Mac had better not be leaving Storybook Court,” Jamie answered. She didn’t like her kitty being outside at all. But the streets in the complex all had low speed limits. If he left the Court, he could be in real danger. She bet he thought he could just whap a car with his paw to make it stop.

  “Sometime I’ll spend the night, and we’ll take turns keeping Mac under surveillance. We’ll put a stop to his roaming,” Ruby promised.

  “That would be great,” Jamie answered.

  “I’ve got to get home for Riley.” Ruby gave Jamie a quick hug. “Have a fab time tonight. I know you will.”

  * * *

  David didn’t think he could do it. When he’d made plans for him and Jamie to go out with Adam and Lucy, it had sounded fun. He’d wanted his friends to meet Jamie and vice versa. He’d been sure they’d hit it off. He was still sure.

  But when he was getting ready, his heart had started pumping as hard as it did at the end of a run, and he knew he wasn’t ready. Going out with Adam and Lucy was something he’d done a bunch of times by himself, and even more times with Clarissa. It wouldn’t feel right with Jamie.

  He grabbed his cell and shot Adam a text. Gotta cancel. Jamie’s sick. Another time.

  A few seconds later Adam answered. Come anyway. Be our third wheel.