The Cowboy SEAL

by Laura Marie Altom

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. I’m sorry.”

  “No—you said it, so explain it.” He shut the door, in the process, stealing all the oxygen from the room. It didn’t matter that the night was warm and her window was open to a light breeze. He stood there larger than life, making her heart and mind spin like a child’s top.

  “I was referring to the comments you made when we were out on the porch swing. You made it plain you have no desire to be a father.”

  “So what? Why would that affect you?” Great question. One she had a very good answer for. Tell him!

  “It doesn’t, all right? Sorry I said anything.”

  Eyes narrowed, he asked, “What’s going on with you, Mill? I thought we were in a good place. Am I missing something?”

  Only everything! “I’m really tired. Do we have to do this now?”

  “As far as I’m concerned, we don’t have to do it ever. After the auction, I’ll be gone. Your life will be back to normal, just as if I’d never even been here.”

  Only he had. And even though his time with them had been short, she remembered everything. Living with the chickens in the kitchen and bathing their newborn calf. The accidental kiss in the Red Lobster parking lot. Sharing intimate family moments like their special Valentine’s Day breakfast. Being part of Clint’s battle to regain his faculties. The wondrous chicken coop he’d built. Memories upon memories dulled her focus. She needed to remain strong in her resolve to not make him feel trapped into staying. If they were to ever share a true relationship based upon mutual love and respect, he had to come to her of his own free will—not a sense of obligation.

  *

  TUESDAY, COOPER SAT at the end of the old pond dock he and Jim had built with their father back when they’d both been in grade school. The day was fine with endless blue sky and a dazzling front range view.

  He’d set up Clint in an outdoor canvas chair, handing him an already-baited, old-school cane pole that allowed for minimum work and maximum relaxation.

  “I never thought I’d fish a-again....”

  “I’m glad you’re okay. You gave me a scare.”

  His dad grunted. “I scared m-myself.”

  The spring-fed pond’s surface was glassy, giving them a clear view of the rocky bottom. The warm weather had brought out mayflies that flew in lazy patterns, every so often gliding too close to the water, only to then become fish food.

  “I’ve missed this,” Cooper said after dropping his own line in the water. There was so much left unsaid between them, but Clint had never been a big talker. Maybe it was a guy thing, but most of Cooper’s favorite times with his father had been when they were alone, somehow speaking volumes without saying anything at all.

  “You g-gonna marry her?”

  “Huh?” Where had that come from? “You talking about Millie?”

  His old man nodded. “Sh-she’s a good g-girl.”

  “I think so, too, but that doesn’t mean I’d marry her. Where in the world would you get an idea like that?” A beauty of a rainbow trout nibbled at his line, but darted away.

  “S-seen you two t-together. Look g-good.”

  “Thanks, but that doesn’t mean we’re marriage material.” Bedroom material? That was a whole other story. They might’ve only shared one night, but it’d been beyond hot. What he wouldn’t give to try again—only this time in a proper bed.

  “Th-think about it.”

  “I will,” Cooper said, “but don’t you think that’d be a little odd? Me picking up where Jim left off?”

  “Sh-she needs a good man. Th-that’s what you have b-become.”

  Cooper’s eyes stung.

  How long had he craved hearing exactly that from his father? But when it came to the chemistry he shared with Millie, her opinion was the only one that mattered. Lately, they’d gotten along about as well as a pillowcase filled with wet cats. He didn’t know what he’d done to piss her off, but apparently, it must’ve been major.

  *

  “WAIT—COULD YOU please say that again? I’m sure I didn’t hear you right. There’s probably a bad connection.” Friday afternoon, Millie stood in the kitchen on the phone with the principal of LeeAnn’s school, glaring at her gorgeous chicken coop, wishing anyone but Cooper had built it for her. That way, she wouldn’t have to think nice things about him every time she gathered eggs.

  “Mrs. Hansen, your daughter was caught in a compromising situation with a fellow student. We have rules against this, and she’s received a week’s worth of afterschool detention. Because she rides the bus, that means you’ll need to pick her up each day.”

  Holding her free hand to her suddenly pounding forehead, Millie forced a deep breath. “You must be mistaken. LeeAnn doesn’t even talk to boys. I’ll of course leave right away to pick her up, but this just can’t be right.”

  “I realize news of this nature must be difficult to hear, Mrs. Hansen, but our security guard has video footage. Your daughter’s identity is unmistakable.”

  After hanging up, Millie was so scattered, she couldn’t even find her keys.

  “What’s up?” Cooper asked when she continued her search in the office. He sat at the computer, answering emails.

  Clint napped in a nearby armchair with his feet up on the matching ottoman.

  “I just got the craziest call from LeeAnn’s school, and it has me rattled. The principal said she was caught in a compromising position with a boy. What does that even mean?” She looked under a magazine pile with no luck. “LeeAnn doesn’t even talk to boys, but he said they’ve got video proof. Anyway, I have to get over to the school to pick her up and get this whole thing straightened out.”

  “Go w-with her,” a groggy Clint barked from his corner.

  Millie shook her head. “Cooper, you should stay here in case your father needs anything. Plus, someone needs to be here when J.J. gets home.”

  “I can w-watch him,” Clint said. “Not in-val-id.”

  “I know,” she said to her father-in-law, “but if you’re watching J.J., who’s going to watch you?”

  “She makes a good point.” Cooper shut down the desktop unit.

  “G-go w-with her,” Clint insisted. “M-Millie too up-set to d-drive.”

  “Mill?” Cooper asked from his perch on the edge of the desk. “What do you think?”

  She pressed her fingers to her pounding temples. Though she’d never needed Cooper more, in light of her pregnancy, she didn’t want to lean on him. She needed to be strong enough that when he left, she felt capable of carrying on. That said, he wasn’t gone yet. Would it be so awful to accept his help one last time?

  “All right,” she finally answered, but mostly because she feared that without another adult present, if it turned out her precious baby girl truly had done what the principal accused her of, then Millie just might lose what little remained of her cool.

  *

  SEATED IN THE principal’s office alongside Cooper, never had Millie been more grateful for his presence. He’d been a rock for her on the long trip into town, repeatedly assuring her everything would be okay until she’d almost believed he was right.

  But that had been before Principal Conroy turned his computer monitor around so they could all see the alleged event.

  The more that unfolded onscreen, the more LeeAnn kissed some boy Millie had never even seen, then laughed and thrust out her rapidly developing breasts, the sicker Millie grew.

  Acting on autopilot, she reached to Cooper for support, clasping his hand and appreciating his hearty squeeze of hers.

  “Mrs. Hansen, I understand you’re upset, but I’ll need you to sign this document, stating that you’ve seen the evidence and accept LeeAnn’s punishment.”

  “Of course...” Her hand shook so badly, that she had trouble writing her name.

  “I can tell this is a shock to you, but sadly, it’s not as uncommon as you might think. Now, I’m not suggesting there’s a problem in your home, but I
know LeeAnn lost her father at an impressionable age, which can sometimes lead to this sort of reaching out for male attention. The statistics on teen pregnancy are sobering, so you’ll want to do everything you can to nip this behavior—”

  “Stop right there,” Cooper said. “LeeAnn kissed a boy. I think we’re a bit premature in declaring her a teenage mom.”

  While Cooper waged battle on her daughter’s behalf, Millie couldn’t help but think how ironic it was that she would soon become an unwed mother.

  “I’m sorry you feel that way,” the principal said in regard to one of Cooper’s comments. Millie had been so deep into her own thoughts, she hadn’t paid attention to the growing rift between the two men. “Mrs. Hansen, LeeAnn must be present in afterschool detention each day next week or face expulsion. You’ll be able to pick her up promptly at four thirty-five.”

  *

  COOPER LED THE two ladies in his life to the truck.

  They hadn’t even had time to put their seat belts on when Millie lit into her daughter. “What do you think you were doing? You’re too young for kissing—let alone, kissing at school.”

  Her daughter had the gall to roll her eyes. “God, Mom, I’m almost twelve.”

  “Yeah, well, if you plan on making it to the ripe old age of thirteen, you’d better cut that sass.”

  Cooper reversed out of their parking spot and headed home.

  “You’re so lame,” LeeAnn fired back. “Uncle Cooper knew I made out with Damon, and he didn’t care.”

  Cooper tightened his grip on the wheel. Did his niece seriously just rat him out?

  “What?” Millie swung her attention back to him. “Is that true?”

  “Yes and no. It’s complicated, and she promised she’d never do it again.”

  “She promised? Lee’s eleven! Didn’t you ever lie to your parents to get out of trouble? Only, that’s right, you’re not her parent, are you?”

  “No...” Because Millie was understandably upset, he’d give her a pass on scolding him. He was more pissed at himself and his niece.

  “Then if you caught my daughter doing something she shouldn’t have been, why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Truth? I wanted her to like me.”

  Millie covered her face with her hands. “A parent doesn’t have that luxury, Cooper.”

  “Guys, please stop fighting.” LeeAnn had started crying, but Cooper suspected they were crocodile tears. “Mom, Uncle Cooper did yell at me when he caught me in the hall kissing Damon.”

  “When?” Millie inquired.

  “The night of the science fair. Damon asked me to be his girlfriend, and said I had to kiss him.”

  “Cooper,” Millie asked, “from the start, tell me what you know that I don’t.”

  He sighed while zigzagging through traffic. “Look, that night, when we separated to find the kids, I stumbled across Lee and this punk. They were kissing, and I told her quite clearly to knock it off. She promised she’d never do it again. End of story.”

  “See, Mom?” LeeAnn braced her arms over the extended cab’s front seat. “He didn’t even care.”

  Millie snapped, “Sit back and put on your seat belt.”

  “Oh—I cared, all right,” Cooper said to LeeAnn. “The only reason I didn’t tell your mom was because she’s already stressed enough. If you’d held up your end of the bargain, no one ever needed to know.”

  “Now you’re stooping so low as to bargain with an eleven-year-old?”

  “It wasn’t like that,” he said. Only seeing the incident now through Millie’s eyes, he saw that it was. If he’d practiced full disclosure back in February, they wouldn’t be fighting now. “I told her to stop, and never kiss again.”

  “Sure.” Millie crossed her arms. “That makes about as much sense as if your father had told you to never drink again after you’d run down your mother. How could I be so stupid as to think you’re even half the man your brother was? Jim might not have been flashy, but he was good. He knew better than to turn a blind eye to an eleven-year-old making out!”

  On that dirty note, Cooper whipped her truck onto the busy highway’s shoulder and killed the engine. “Did you honestly just go there? What happened with my mom has nothing to do with this. But you know what, Mill? If due to my lack of expert parental judgment, you’re uncomfortable with me being around your kids, I’ll be happy to take off first thing in the morning—that is, assuming you’re okay with a screwup like me staying the night?”

  *

  “SORRY TO BARGE in like this,” Millie said to Lynette a little over an hour later. “I didn’t know where else to turn.”

  “Of course.” Lynette drew her into the simple ranch house she shared with Zane. “You know you’re welcome here anytime.”

  Millie nodded while making her way to the sofa. Even though she’d delivered her big speech to Cooper, she’d been so upset that the moment he’d parked, she’d run off, leaving him to watch Clint and the kids. She was such a hypocrite, accusing him of being a rotten uncle when she wasn’t exactly Mother of the Year. “I told you the basics of our fight over the phone, but I kind of left off the reason why Cooper and Lee’s secret hit me so hard.”

  “Okay...” Her friend sat beside her.

  “Is Zane in the house?”

  “Nope. Can you believe it? He’s out for a run. He’s getting pretty buff.” Lynette fanned herself. “God bless Cooper and his SEAL Session workout.”

  Millie rolled her eyes. She was not in the mood for singing Cooper’s praises.

  “So? What did you need to talk about? We have the house to ourselves and I’m all ears.”

  Where do I start?

  Chapter Seventeen

  “C-calm down.” Clint sat in the straight-backed chair next to Cooper’s dresser. How his father had even gotten up the stairs was beyond him, but stubborn had always been Clint’s middle name. “M-Millie didn’t mean it. G-girl’s got a w-wicked temper. S-stay.”

  “Love to, Dad, but I can’t. I needed to be back on base a month ago.” But more important, if he had to spend one more day around Millie, pretending he felt nothing for her but platonic affection, he’d go freakin’ mad.

  He felt awful about what had gone down with LeeAnn. Millie was clearly right in that he had no business being around kids. The crazy thing was, though, the more he’d been around his niece and nephew, the more he craved being with them.

  He’d miss them when he was gone.

  “M-marry her.”

  “Dad...” Clint scooped the meager contents from his sock drawer into his duffel.

  “I m-mean it. Worth a t-try.”

  “When—if—I ever get married, I don’t want to just try, but really make it work. I want what Jim and Millie used to have. The perfect family.”

  His dad shook his head. “N-no such thing as p-perfect. All m-marriage is w-work.”

  “I don’t know... You and Mom looked pretty good.”

  Clint smiled. “Your m-mom was a s-saint. I was the p-problem. S-stay. Give M-Millie—yourself—time. She looks at you l-like your m-mom once looked at m-me.”

  Cooper wished he could believe that, but he knew better.

  Millie didn’t want him, but to recreate what she’d shared with his brother. Unfortunately, as she’d been all too happy to point out, he’d never be half the man his brother had been.

  *

  “WHOA...” LYNETTE FINISHED her wine in one big gulp. “I never saw this one coming. You and Cooper on the kitchen table? That’s hot stuff...” She refilled her glass and took another deep swig. “You have to tell him about the baby, Mill. Like, now.”

  “But how? Especially after he came right out and said he doesn’t have any interest in becoming a dad. And what about this thing with LeeAnn? He should’ve come to me right away about something that important.”

  “Agreed, but, sweetie, you have to understand that he hasn’t been around kids since he was a kid himself. You can’t expect him to right out of the gate be WonderDad.”<
br />
  “I know, but—”

  “No—there’s nothing more for you to say. You have to tell him. March your butt straight home and admit you’ve been scared about how he’d take the news, but that you’re sorry, and would like to have an adult conversation about how the two of you plan to raise this child.”

  Millie nibbled her pinkie fingernail. “You do know you sound like a female Dr. Phil?”

  “Good. You need some sense drilled into you, and since he’s not available for consultation, guess I’ll have to do.” She stood, taking Millie by her hands to force her from the couch then push her toward the door. “Tell him. Now.”

  *

  “BUT WHY DO you have to go?” J.J. asked once Cooper had loaded his truck and was ready to hit the highway. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, bud.” He knelt, wrapping his nephew in a hug.

  J.J. tossed his chubby little arms around Cooper’s neck and wouldn’t let go. “Please, don’t leave us. I thought you were going to be our dad.”

  “Sorry, dude, but you already had a great dad. I’m just your uncle. I promise I’ll come visit, but you don’t really need me to stay. You’ve got Grandpa Clint and your mom and sister and friends. Trust me, you’ll hardly even notice I’m gone.” Still holding J.J., Cooper stood then pushed open the screen door.

  “Yes, I will...” The sniffling boy held on tighter.

  Clint and LeeAnn followed them outside.

  Seemed like just yesterday when Cooper had returned on that blustery January morning. The earth had felt as dead as he had. Everything had been cold and brown and dull. Now, on this night, crickets chirped, the temperature was downright balmy and, just as Millie promised back in March, everything in their world was green and fresh and new. Everything, that is, except for him. He was leaving this ranch feeling as defeated as when he’d come.

  LeeAnn asked, “Uncle Cooper, are you leaving because of me?” The girl’s question shredded what little remained of his heart.