Salt Sisters

by Katherine Graham

  He winked at Lucas, who was beaming.

  ‘That’s such a lovely idea, I…’ I choked back a sob that came out of nowhere, the emotion cutting my vocal cords. My eyes met Rachel’s, then Auntie Sue’s – we were all filling up.

  ‘I’ve been working on it since Mum died,’ said Lucas. ‘Every time I’m cooking. I try to remember how Mum made something, and when I get it right, I write everything down. Adam says I could be a chef when I grow up!’

  How had I not known he was working on this? I kicked myself – I should have been encouraging him, helping him. That’s what a good aunt would do. Adam had only known Lucas for a matter of weeks and he’d given him more guidance and spiritual direction than I had managed to in his whole life time.

  ‘A chef, eh?’ Mike ruffled his son’s hair. ‘Your mother would be proud.’

  Mike’s mention of Amy sent a shudder through me, but nobody noticed. Adam was too busy enjoying the surprise on our faces.

  ‘Maybe if you ask her nicely, MySelfHan can promote your book on her IG.’ Adam winked at Lucas.

  ‘What’s IG? And who’s MySelfHan? Am I missing something?’ Auntie Sue was bemused.

  ‘Instagram, Auntie Sue!’ Adam laughed. ‘Hannah here has gained quite the following. Who knows, we might make a social media influencer of her yet.’

  ‘What?’ I looked at Rachel and Mike, but the shock on their faces told me they knew no more than I did. ‘You’re posting what on Instagram? To who?’

  Alarm bells were ringing – this was a serious oversight on my part. I was still mastering the basics of childcare and hadn’t even thought about how to keep them safe online. Hannah could have been exposed to all kinds of dangers, and I had been too preoccupied to notice.

  ‘Calm down, dear,’ said Adam as he pulled out his phone. ‘It’s all very age-appropriate – no parental guidance necessary.’

  ‘You didn’t think to tell me about this?’

  Adam rolled his eyes and pushed the phone in front of me. There was Hannah, but not as I knew her – she had a real talent for self-portraits. The pictures of her were mixed with random images – a shell on the sand, a wildflower, a close-up of the leaves on the tree in the garden. Her captions were little notes of positive affirmations, tips for self-confidence and dealing with bereavement. And Adam was right – she had more than eight thousand followers. My jaw dropped in disbelief.

  Was this how Hannah was spending her time when she was glued to her phone?

  ‘It started right after Mum died and we were off school,’ Hannah said in a quiet voice. ‘I wanted to talk about how I was feeling and then it just became this thing, where I was helping other people in the same situation handle their feelings.’ Her tone was almost apologetic. ‘I’ve been doing mindfulness exercises and meditation with Betsy, trying stuff out together.’

  Betsy beamed at her sister.

  ‘You know what, Han – I think it sounds fantastic.’ Mike squeezed her hand. ‘And your mum…’ He gulped. ‘Your mum would be so incredibly proud of you for helping other people. That was what she did, she was always thinking about others before herself. You’re cut from the same cloth.’

  A silence fell over the room and I felt the tension harden in the air, solidifying in the spaces between us. I wanted to scream at Mike, to smack him with something. Strong, violent, angry thoughts clouded my vision like a storm blowing in off the sea.

  It was such a simple comment, and the obvious thing to say to a grieving child, but it felt like he was taking Amy’s name in vain. How dare he invoke her memory? How did he have the audacity to proclaim himself as the expert on Amy’s feelings, after everything he had done?

  Mum shuddered. ‘Did you feel that? The chi is abysmal tonight. We’ll have to do an aura cleansing before we eat, or we’ll all get sick.’

  Adam discreetly placed the palm of his hand on my shoulder and gave me a little squeeze. I glanced at him and saw the warning in his eyes, pleading with me to calm down. I forced myself to smile back.

  Mum had us all sit down around the table and join hands. Before all this had happened, I wouldn’t have even stayed in the room, let alone participated, and I would have been mortified to have Jake see the weird stuff she was in to. But I could see how much better it was making Mum, and that it was rubbing off on Hannah – not to mention Betsy – and I was beginning to appreciate it. She seemed to be on to something with feng shui, and after her meditation session the other day I did feel lighter and more relaxed. Mum would say that it meant I’d been spiritually cleansed – I preferred to think of it as a chill-out session.

  Mum pulled a pale pink crystal from her bag and placed it in the middle of the table. I checked the group – everyone had their eyes closed and looked like they were taking it very seriously. Even Betsy had adopted a serene expression that made her look like a much older girl.

  Mum started speaking, her voice dipping up and down in a strange sing-song pattern.

  ‘Remember everyone, focus on the intention – bad energy out, good energy in. Take deep cleansing breaths and be mindful to let out any negative thoughts, any regrets, any darkness as you exhale…’

  My phone vibrated in the pocket of my jeans. I opened one eye just to peek – everyone else still had theirs closed. Jake was holding my hand on one side and I had Rachel on the other.

  ‘And now think of the energy in the room. I want you to visualise any toxic energy and harmful feelings and watch them blowing out of the door, blowing out of the window… And as they leave, they create space for light, warmth, and good energy. Imagine water flowing over you, cleansing you, leaving you feeling lighter, happier and free from earthly worries.’

  The phone burned in my pocket and I willed Mum to finish so that I could check my messages.

  ‘There,’ she finally said, smiling around the room, still speaking in her up-and-down voice. ‘You can now open your eyes and take a moment to express gratitude to one another.’

  Jake looked like he had just woken up from a nap. ‘That was marvellous, Anne,’ he said, stifling a yawn.

  ‘I know, right?’ Adam beamed at Mum. ‘I’ve missed my spiritual guru!’

  Mum blushed and shrugged him off.

  ‘Will you excuse me for a second?’ I muttered as I climbed out from the bench.

  Rachel caught my eye and I silently pleaded with her to keep quiet. I darted out the kitchen and ran upstairs to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

  There was one new message, from Jennifer.

  I’ve been through the guest log – your brother-in-law was indeed a regular visitor. I also have an ID of the woman who checked in with him. I don’t know how to tell you this. Can you please call me when you get a chance to talk?

  I splashed my face with cold water.

  The woman staring back at me in the mirror was almost unrecognisable. Pain was etched onto my tired face and my skin was pale and dull, but there was still a steely determination in my eyes.

  ‘I’m getting closer, Amy,’ I muttered under my breath, as I dried my hands on the towel.

  Adam was waiting for me on the landing. I hadn’t heard him follow me upstairs.

  ‘You startled me!’ The adrenaline was pulsing at my temples.

  ‘Seriously, are you all right?’ he asked. ‘You’re acting really strange tonight.’

  It would be impossible to make a private phone call in this house. There were too many people and nowhere was out of earshot.

  ‘I’m fine – better than fine. I have to pop out for a while though, I just have to ring someone…’

  ‘What? Why? Who do you need to call so urgently?’ Frustration fizzed in his voice. I cupped his shoulders in my hands and looked him in the eye, pleading for him to understand.

  ‘I told you, I’m getting closer to the truth. I’m nearly there…’

  ‘Please – you need to stop this. Please.’

  ‘I’ll only be gone for a few minutes – I’ll tell everyone I forgot something at home.’

/>   ‘We’re about to eat dinner! Jake is here! You’re supposed to be making up with Mike!’ Adam’s hands were balled into fists by his sides and I knew that I was wearing his patience down to breaking point.

  ‘This is important, OK? Just don’t say anything. I’ll be back before you know it.’

  Auntie Sue was helping Lucas to serve dinner, passing out steaming bowls of porridge risotto.

  ‘I have to run home,’ I blurted out. ‘I think I’ve left a candle burning.’

  I carefully avoided Adam’s glare and focused on Jake, giving him a forced smile. Rachel shrugged reluctantly, shaking her head. It reminded me of the shrug that Amy used to give whenever someone disappointed her. Only, I wouldn’t let Amy down this time.

  From the corner of my eye, I could see the others exchanging raised eyebrows. But I didn’t care what anyone thought – we would all know the truth before too long.

  ‘I’ll come straight back – fifteen minutes, tops.’

  ‘Do you want me to come with you?’ Jake asked.

  ‘No, no – please stay. Enjoy dinner. I’ll eat mine later,’ I said as I pulled on my jacket. ‘Sorry, everyone – be right back.’

  I trotted down the hall and pulled the door closed before anyone had a chance to try and stop me.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  It was a quiet evening, and the hollow crash of waves sang the familiar song of the tide on its way out. A solitary gull circled high above the harbour, tracking a returning fishing boat. The sun hung low, slowly dipping towards the hills. I walked as fast as I could.

  I checked my watch – 7.25 p.m. I could get home, call Jennifer and be back at Amy’s by 7.40 p.m. My hands were shaking, and I stuffed them deeper into my pockets. I wouldn’t confront Mike with his lies tonight – I wouldn’t confront him at all, but I would do my best to make sure I was there when he got arrested. I wanted to see the look on his face.

  I hurried down Cedar Road and turned onto Swallow Street. From an open window on the back lane came the noises of dinner time – the scrape of a knife on a plate and the low murmur of table conversation. A ginger cat was lying on my neighbour’s wall, basking in the dying light of the day.

  The familiar scent of firewood greeted me as I opened the door to Puffin Cottage – my sanctuary. I locked the door behind me and didn’t even take off my jacket before dialling Jennifer’s number. My finger hovered over the call button, trembling. My heart was fluttering – I needed the sea to help me stay calm. I walked up the stairs, gripping the banister tightly, not trusting my legs to get me there. I sat down on my bed and fixed my gaze on the horizon just as Jennifer answered.

  ‘Thanks for calling me back. I thought it was better to speak on the phone than tell you this by text.’

  The sky was streaked with shades of gold and pink. I focused on the horizon, steadying myself. Deep breaths. The line crackled.

  ‘Hello, Izzy? Are you there?’

  Bad energy out, good energy in.

  ‘Yes, I’m here.’

  ‘It’s just – this is really bizarre, but the guest who stayed here with Mike Sanders was his wife. It was Amy Sanders.’

  I had been holding my breath and I choked on it now, coughing and spluttering.

  ‘What? How? That can’t be…’

  Amy had been there with Mike? But why had she highlighted the dates on his credit card statements and hidden them away? Why had he admitted to having an affair? And there was the woman in Newcastle…

  This wasn’t making any sense.

  ‘There’s some mistake – it must have been someone pretending to be Amy.’

  ‘I did consider that.’ Jennifer was chewing on something – a pen perhaps.

  It couldn’t be right. Mike must have done something to cover his tracks. But how?

  Jennifer sighed. ‘I even pulled up the CCTV footage of them checking in together and showed it to Mum. She thinks it’s Amy…’

  ‘What does that mean, thinks it’s Amy? She isn’t certain?’

  ‘The picture is grainy, and Mum’s eyesight isn’t the best.’

  ‘But she couldn’t say for certain? It could have been someone else?’ There was a frantic edge to my voice.

  ‘Well if it isn’t Amy, it’s someone who looks a lot like her.’

  I froze.

  ‘Someone who looks like Amy…’ I mumbled.

  Someone who looked so much like Amy they could almost be sisters.

  When I spoke again, my voice was nothing more than a croak.

  ‘Could you email me the picture, please? Just so I can see it for myself?’

  My pulse was pounding in my ears. I hung up on Jennifer and stared out to the sea, watching the rolling waves growing darker in the dying light.

  A ping told me that her email had arrived. I clicked on the attachment and the picture started to download. It was agonisingly slow and I had to remind myself to breathe.

  And there it was – grainy, but unmistakable. Mike, at the reception desk of the hotel I knew as The Stables. An overnight bag slung over his shoulder, a credit card in one hand and his other arm around… Rachel.

  I zoomed in, squinting at the image, trying to see beyond the blur. Someone who didn’t know Rachel as well as I did could look at this picture and see Amy. After all, plenty of people remarked on how alike they were.

  It had been Rachel all along. Rachel was Mike’s other woman.

  Realising this brought me nothing. There was no release and there was no relief – just a sad emptiness.

  Then I heard a thud from downstairs.

  Had I imagined it? The noise must have come from outside. I had locked the door behind me when I came in.

  I slipped my phone into my pocket. The last of the day’s light was fading and the harbour lights were blinking to life. I tiptoed down the stairs and stood at the bottom in the darkness, pressed against the wall, listening outside the open living room door. There was a faint scuffling sound, so soft that it could be a mouse.

  But I knew it wasn’t.

  My heart was pounding against my ribcage and I dared myself to look again. There was a light, a golden flickering that cast dancing shadows across the floor. I took a deep breath and stepped into the room.

  Someone had lit a candle.

  And then a voice from behind me.

  ‘You couldn’t help yourself, could you?’

  I spun around on my heels, fists in front of me, ready for fight-or-flight.

  Rachel laughed as she stepped past me and slowly folded herself into the armchair by the fire, tucking her legs up to one side as if this was one of our cosy nights in. I froze in disbelief.

  ‘You just couldn’t stop. Why? You had to keep pushing. And now here we are.’ She laughed again, smiling at me with a snarl.

  I took my phone from my pocket to call Adam. Rachel leapt up and snatched the phone away from me, slapping me hard across the face. The shock was more painful that the sting on my cheek. I touched a finger to my face, stunned into silence. I’d never been hit before.

  ‘Seriously? You think I’m going to go through all of this and come this far, just to have you fuck everything up for me now?’ She spat the words at me with venom as she coiled herself back into the chair.

  The shock subsided and I was pulled back to the surface, buoyed by adrenaline. I could feel my feet again.

  I had to get out.

  I was closer to the door than she was. Rachel must have let herself in with her key, but had she locked the door again behind her? It was worth a shot, and I decided to make a run for it – if I could make it as far as the lane, I could scream for help.

  I ran through the kitchen towards the door, moving faster than I had in a long time. My weight slammed against the timber as I grabbed the knob and tried to twist – it didn’t budge. She’d locked it from the inside. Where was the key? My pulse pounded in my ears.

  Rachel hadn’t even moved from the chair. ‘That’s your problem – you think I’m stupid.’ That laugh again. The leath
er groaned as she stood up from the chair and started walking towards me. ‘You know, Amy thought I was stupid too. And just look where that got her.’

  She was laughing at me, at Amy. The panic was rising in me, and I struggled to think clearly. I needed something to defend myself. A weapon! I yanked the cutlery drawer open, ready to grab a knife. It was empty.

  Rachel was suddenly at my shoulder, one arm around my neck and the other wrapped around my waist, pinning my arms to my sides. Her breath was warm on my ear.

  ‘We could have been happy, me and you. We could have been sisters, played happy families. Shared the kids. Me and Mike could have got together. You might not have liked it at first, but you’d have wanted us both to be happy…’

  Her lips brushed my neck. She smelled of freesias – Amy’s perfume.

  ‘You’ll never be my sister,’ I said. ‘You’re nothing like Amy.’

  How long had I been gone now? Adam or Jake would come looking for me soon. I just had to keep Rachel talking for long enough.

  ‘Don’t think that any of them are coming for you,’ she said, reading my thoughts. ‘They all think you’re a basket case. They sent me to help you.’ Her laugh was like glass shattering. ‘After all,’ she purred, ‘I am like a sister to you.’

  She was gripping me painfully hard and slammed me against the door. I tried to remember the moves I’d learned at the self-defence class Adam and I had taken in Hong Kong. I had probably missed any opportunity I’d had to fight Rachel off, and she was freakishly strong. I knew she would overpower me.

  ‘Why did you do it? Why did you have to kill her?’

  ‘Have to? Have to? I didn’t have to kill Amy. I wanted to.’

  Fresh anger burned like acid in my chest.

  Rachel carried on, satisfied with her captive audience. ‘Mike was going to leave her for me. He’d been saying it for ages, and somehow never got around to it.’

  I pictured her and Mike together and felt repulsed.

  ‘I had to bring things to a head. Make him decide, once and for all. So I told him I was pregnant, and you know what that bastard did? He told me to get rid of it!’ She screamed, a frustrated, angry bark, and threw me against the door again with a new strength. ‘He asked me how I knew it was his. After everything we’d been through, he told me to get a fucking abortion. Can you imagine? And then he wanted to end things, I know he did. He didn’t have to say anything. I could see it in his eyes, the moment I told him. He was going to break up with me.’