Unbearable (The Port Fare Series)

by Sherry Gammon

  We went through several poses, and I did pretty well. A couple times I messed up on purpose so she’d have to correct me. A hand on my back, a gentle twist of my head. I loved every correction. I loved the closeness of her, the touch of her breath on my cheek.

  As she stood behind me and shifted my arms to the correct position in the Half-Moon Pose, I knew I was a fool for accepting her challenge. Having her so close and not being able to kiss her, to wrap her up in my arms, messed with my head. I stumbled, and again she wrapped her arms around my waist.

  “Maybe we should go over by the mirror so I can use the barre for balance.” I didn’t wait for an answer. I needed space between me and the intoxicating Tess. I marched over to the corner next to the mirror and the wall. That way if I fell, I’d have both the mirror and the wall to catch me.

  “Ready to ratchet it up a little?” she said with a devilish smile that looked oh so good on her.

  That wasn’t ratcheted? I’m a dead man. Putting on my game face, I shot her my mischievous grin and said, “I wondered when this was going to get difficult.” My comment would’ve been ten times more effective if a bead of sweat hadn’t rolled down my forehead and nose at that exact moment. She pinched her lips together.

  “That’s from the heat.” I chuckled, wiping my face dry with the towel around my neck.

  “Of course it is.” She shrugged casually, her face still perfectly dry. “This pose is pretty tough. Are you ready?”

  “Bring it on.”

  “Bringing it.” She squatted low, brought her left leg up on top of her right knee, and then lifted up onto her tiptoes. “It’s called the Toe Stand Pose.”

  I started sweating before I began. I squatted, but for the life of me could not bring my foot up onto my knee. After four attempts I tumbled over onto my side. “My body is not meant to bend like that.”

  “Strike two.” She laughed, extending me her hand. How was she not sweating? Ridiculous.

  Exhausted now from not only the extreme heat, but also from the ludicrous poses, I staggered to my feet. I stepped too far forward and bumped into Tess as I stood. I grabbed her shoulders to keep her from falling. Her hands wrapped into my t-shirt for balance also.

  We stood there, nose to nose, neither of us moving for several seconds.

  “You are so beautiful,” I said, breaking the silence.

  Her head dipped, then she looked up at me through those incredible long thick lashes of hers and smiled. “Thank you,” she said softly.

  Kiss her! Now! I took a deep breath . . . and stepped back.

  “What’s next on your list of torture?” I asked, my voice shaky.

  “You’re not admitting defeat?” She playfully cocked her head sideways.

  “I’m admitting this is a pretty tough workout, and I was wrong. But I’m not admitting defeat, so bring it on.”

  And she did. Two more poses, both tough, but doable. She then stepped back, stretched up tall, and proceeded to twist her body into the most convoluted position I’d ever seen.

  “Now you’re just making poses up.” I folded my arms defiantly over my chest. She still hadn’t broken a sweat.

  “It’s the Eagle Pose.” She took a deep breath and settled into her stance. Her left leg draped over the right one, and wrapped around it at her calf. Her arms were completely wrapped around themselves, and her palms, twisted as they were, pressed together.

  I slumped my shoulders. “How many more are there?” I asked, sure I didn’t want to know. There was no way my body would twist like that.

  Tess untangled herself. “There are twenty-six total, and we’ve done ten. Come on, you have to try.”

  Resigned, I began twisting my body in ways that had to be illegal. All the while, Tess circled around me, giving me pointers. “Hands need to be higher.” I moved them up. “This leg needs to cross over higher on that thigh.” I adjusted my leg.

  But when she placed her hand on the small of my back and ran it up to my shoulders with the instruction to straighten my spine a little more, I lost my balance. I toppled over, taking Tess with me. We collided with a thump against the wall, Tess with her back to it. I tumbled into her, straight-arming the wall in time to keep from crushing her.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Yes,” she chuckled. “And you?” I was about to pull back and give her some room when her hands slipped around my waist. My heart all but stopped.

  “I’m good.” I lowered my elbows to the wall, leaning closer to her. She pulled the towel from around my neck and wiped my face and neck dry.

  “Thank you.” I said, taking the towel from her hand and tossing it to the ground.

  I brushed several small strands of hair from her face, allowing my hands to caress her cheek as I did.

  “Tess, do you ever feel like we’re trying to swim up a waterfall in our effort to keep from getting romantically involved?” I asked, wondering if she was as weak as I was at this moment.

  “Yes,” she whispered, her eyes on my mouth, which didn’t help my resolve, at all. “Angel Falls.”

  “What?”

  “Angel Falls, in Venezuela. It’s the world’s tallest waterfall,” she explained, licking her bottom lip. Just shoot me now. “It’s something like 3200 feet.” She laughed softly. “I had to do a report on waterfalls back in college.”

  “Definitely Angel Falls then. All 3200 feet of it. And then some,” I said, stroking her hair again. “I love the smell of your hair.” I leaned in and inhaled her scent.

  “Summer Rain.” She dropped her head back against the wall, looking as angst ridden as I felt, with her eyes now shut tight as she breathed short breaths.

  “Summer Rain?”

  “Lilah bought me some shampoo. The scent is called Summer Rain.” Her Caribbean eyes popped open, searching my face again.

  “Yes. Summer rain is exactly what it is.” I inhaled her yet again. I needed to leave. Never in my life could I remember wanting to kiss someone this desperately.

  “Book, just how important is it that you keep your promise?” she asked, before inserting a knife in my gut with the words, “because I wouldn’t mind if you broke it.”

  “You’re not afraid anymore?”

  “A little, but not enough to keep me from taking the risk.”

  Hope and fear twisted inside me as I buried my hands in her hair. I lowered my head—just as someone pounded on the door. Both Tess and I jumped.

  I dragged myself back as Cole, with Sofia on his hip, came in.

  “Hi,” he said. He set Sofia down and she raced to the mirrors, making goofy faces at her reflection. “We just finished up some Christmas shopping and were on our way home when Sofia saw your truck. Lilah’s been talking up a storm about the new gym so I thought we’d stop and check it out.”

  “Come on in and look around.” I stepped back as he crossed over to the treadmills.

  “Why is it so hot in here?” Cole asked, slipping off his coat.

  “Tess does Bikham yoga,” I explained, turning down the thermostat.

  “Bikram yoga,” she corrected.

  “Is it called hot yoga, also?” he asked her. She nodded. “Lilah’s been thinking about getting into that. I’ll tell her to talk to you.” He slapped a hand on my sweaty back. “Sick.” He grimaced while drying his hand on his jeans. “Alright, Book, I only have a few minutes. You’ll have to give me the five cent tour.”

  As I showed him the gym equipment, I watched Tess teach Sofia some simple dance steps.

  “It looks great. The girls did an awesome job,” Cole said as we walked over to Sofia and Tess a few minutes later.

  “Watch, Daddy,” Sofia said, jumping up and down. “I’m a ballerina. Tess showed me how.” Sofia put her hands on her head and spun in a tight circle on her toes.

  “Perfect.” He clapped and gave her a hug. “You’ll have to show mommy when we get home.” He took her hand. “You’re still coming to dinner, right? It’s in forty-five minutes.”

  “Is
it that late? Yes.” I grabbed another towel and wiped down my face again. “I have to shower. I’d better get going, too.”

  “See you there.” Cole started for the door and stopped. “Tess, you’re welcome to come.”

  “I can’t make it, but thank you for the offer.” Tess slipped on her winter boots and coat next to the door. “I need to get going also.” Cole held the door open for her. My heart tightened as she headed out.

  “Thanks for the yoga lesson,” I joked.

  She smiled at Cole’s wide-eyed expression and left. I followed Cole out after locking the building. Tess was long gone by the time we got outside.

  ***

  “Delicious dinner,” Cole said. “And I’m sure no one’s surprised.” Everyone nodded lazily as they stood and migrated to the family room. I couldn’t say if the food was good or bad. I couldn’t even remember what we ate. Tess owned all my thoughts as I replayed the afternoon.

  Cole took his wife’s hand and stood in front of the fireplace. “Lilah and I wanted everyone to know the brain scan showed no abnormalities, so I’m still cancer free. I won’t need another scan for a year.” Cole’s announcement brought claps from Sofia, who probably had no clue as to what it all meant, and hugs, along with a few tears, from the girls. Seth and I offered high-fives.

  “Since we’re making announcements,” Seth said next. Maggie came up to him and he slipped his arm around her shoulders. “As you have all noted, Maggie’s not been feeling well lately. When she went to see Dr. Robertson a few days ago, she confirmed what we pretty much already knew. We’re having a baby!”

  Lilah flew at Maggie, hugging her tight. “How exciting! I wondered if you were when you kept getting sick,” Lilah said, all smiles.

  “I didn’t know how to tell you,” Maggie answered, blinking back tears. “I know you guys have been trying. Seth and I haven’t, and then surprise, I’m pregnant. I’m sorry.”

  “Mags, I’m happy for you. It will happen for us. And even if it doesn’t, I certainly don’t expect you not to have children.” Lilah pulled Maggie into her arms and they both cried.

  Females. They confused me on every level.

  I stepped over and hugged Seth. “Congrats, bro. You’re going to name it after me if it’s a boy, correct?”

  Maggie pulled away from Lilah. “I am not naming my son Boo Boo Kitty.”

  I gave her a hug. “I’ll chalk that rude comment off to your raging hormones, Magpie.”

  “Can I see your baby?” Sofia asked, tugging on Maggie’s green and red shirt.

  “Next summer you can. It’s still inside me.” Maggie rubbed her stomach.

  “You ate your baby?” Poor little Sofia, her eyes wide in horror, stepped away.

  “No!” Maggie laughed. “It’s growing inside me. When it gets bigger, it will come out.”

  “How did it get in there?” Sofia’s eyes narrowed on Maggie’s stomach.

  “Umm,” stammered Lilah and Cole simultaneously.

  “Sofia, I thought you were going to show me your new room after dinner.” I held my hand out to her and wiggled my fingers. Her face lit up with a grin and she grabbed my hand, dragging me to the stairs.

  “You owe me,” I mouthed to her parents.

  “This is my new veil,” Sofia said, after we entered her room. She pointed to some mosquito netting stuff wrapped around a hoop over her bed. Flowers had been weaved into the netting, making it look all girly.

  She pointed to an even girlier dresser. “And me and Mommy painted my dresser pink and put princess stickers on it.”

  “Awesome,” I said. “You and your mom did a great job in here.”

  “Sit in my new chair.” She pushed me to the corner of the room into an overstuffed pink chair. I sat; my manhood took a hit.

  Sofia pulled out a book from a basket next to the chair and crawled up onto my lap. “Will you read this to me?” She handed me her favorite book, a tattered copy of Rapunzel.

  “Don’t you know this story by heart already?” I asked. She nodded her head against my shoulder and slipped her thumb in her mouth.

  I chuckled, opened the book, and began. “Once upon a time . . .” She was asleep before they lived happily ever after. I laid her in her pink bed, covering her with a pink quilt, making a note to get her something not pink for her birthday. The place looked like a pink Smurf had exploded.

  As I crept quietly to the door, a sleepy voice called out, “I love you, Uncle Book.”

  “I love you too, sweetheart.” I smiled at her and her droopy eyes as they closed.

  Cole was one lucky man. And now Seth was going to be a dad. I thought I’d be married with kids long before now. My love life was nothing more than a series of unfortunate events—unfortunate, lousy, pathetic events. Was I that much of a loser?

  I closed the door behind me and headed down the stairs, my Scrooge attitude firmly in place. Cole and Lilah were all curled around each other on the couch, Lilah giggling as Cole whispered in her ear. I turned for the kitchen. It was worse. Seth had Maggie up against the fridge kissing her with his hand on her pregnant belly.

  I walked out the back door and went straight to my truck, tired of being the fifth wheel all the time. Tired of having no one. Tired of eating dinner alone. Tired of watching TV alone. Tired of sleeping alone.

  And most of all, I was tired of my stupid promise to Tess.

  I shoved my truck into second gear and peeled out of the driveway, drowning in self-pity.

  Chapter 22

  Tess

  I grabbed a sweatshirt and turned up the heat. It was freezing and the little trailer didn’t stand a chance against the winter storm beating against it. I sank into the recliner. “Another Christmas eve alone.” I shook my head. I should have gone with Booker, but I was already going over to Seth’s tomorrow and didn’t want to wear out my welcome.

  I dropped my head back and laughed. “Who are you kidding, girl? You’re afraid of being around Booker because you’re crazy about him.” If Cole hadn’t shown up . . .

  I was tired of being alone, and of my empty life with no one to love. And I was sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself. I chose to live the life of a nun. No one forced me.

  “Hot chocolate.” I jumped out of the chair and went straight to the kitchen to fill my teapot. I held my hands an inch from the pot and let the warmth radiate around them.

  “Okay, Terese Layla Selleck. For Christmas you are giving yourself a backbone. You’re going to tell Booker how you feel and that the promise is done . . . finished . . . kaput.” I smiled to myself before adding, “Merry Christmas.”

  I so wanted him to kiss me at the gym today. My lips tingled as I remembered his kisses in the rec center parking lot and my apartment. That seemed like a million years ago. I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. I felt like a fifteen-year-old schoolgirl with her first crush.

  Only this wasn’t a crush. I had strong feelings for Booker. Strong enough it both scared and thrilled me at the same time.

  “I should have kissed him. I should have grabbed him by the sexy tee he had on and kissed him.” I smacked my fist on the counter. “Urgh!”

  A gentle knock at the door sent a chill down my spine. Who would be stopping by at ten-thirty at night? Carefully, I pulled back the edge of the curtain and saw Booker’s truck parked out front. My heart leapt in my throat. It seemed Santa was delivering my backbone early.

  “Okay.” I exhaled slowly. “Do it. Just grab him and kiss him. Right on that sexy mouth.”

  “Tess, it’s me, Booker,” he said through the door. “I know it’s late, but I need to talk to you. May I come in?”

  I rubbed my hands together, every nerve ending in my body tingled as my heart beat against the wall of my chest. I opened the door. His hands rested on either side of the doorframe as if he needed support. He looked as frazzled as I felt. We stared at each other, neither one of us speaking. Heated glances bounced back and forth. I noticed he was breathing in short rapid breaths at the exact
same time I noticed I was, too. Time to make my move. I straightened and said, “I quit,” as he said, “You’re fired.”

  We collided in the doorway and he captured my mouth in an intense, demanding kiss. My hands tangled in the front of his jacket and I pulled him closer. With a throaty sigh, Booker plunged his hands in my hair, cradling my face to his. He steered me inside and kicked the door closed, his mouth never leaving mine. The urgency of his kiss shook me to my core. Never, ever, had Garen kissed me with this much passion. They were short, dull, and unimaginative.

  Not Booker’s. The blood coursed rapidly though my body as if I’d run a marathon. I was no longer cold either. My toes curled in my slippers as he continued his masterful kiss, turning his head to deepen it. Just when I was sure my bones were going to melt, he groaned and dragged himself away from my mouth, resting his forehead on mine.

  “That certainly was worth the wait,” he said, his voice a little shaky.

  “Yes,” I whispered. “But let’s not wait that long again.”

  “Agreed.” And he kissed me again, my poor mind reeling by the time he stopped. His hands were now around my neck as his thumbs caressed my jaw.

  “I’m afraid I’m falling for you, Tess.” His brown eyes met mine. “You’re probably not ready to hear—”

  “I feel the same, actually.” What would be the point in denying it? “But,” I hastened to add, “I’m still scared. Not because I worry that you’ll hit me, but with Garen my life was like a prison. I don’t ever want to feel that way again. I don’t see myself ever marrying again.” He needed to know. I’d seen the way he admired his friend’s relationships. That wouldn’t be in my future.

  “Would you be okay with me trying to change your mind?” He held a finger to my lips, stopping my answer. “Not by force, Tess. I promise.”

  I took a deep breath and said the words I’d never said aloud before. “I can’t have children. Garen . . . he . . . I—I can no long have children.” I didn’t want the memory of that night to spoil the moment. “I don’t want to talk about that right now.”