The Mattress: The Glasgow Chronicles 4

by Todd, Ian

  That first year when they’d aw been legally free hid been a great time fur them, he remembered. It hid also been during that time that the ranks ae The Mankys hid expanded. The music that they’d aw been intae at the time hid been Creedence Clearwater Revival. It hid also been roond aboot this time that they’d aw started walking aboot wae real money in their trooser pockets and no the tuppence worth ae coins that they’d been blagging as weans. It hid been Joe’s never-ending playing ae Creedence that hid turned everywan oan tae them. Joe hid tanned a student’s car ootside the students’ union, doon in John Street, and hid nicked a wee portable record player and a bundle ae LPs, when he’d been oan the run fae Thistle Park. Johnboy couldnae remember whit other LPs hid been in the bundle, bit ‘Bayou Country’ hid been the wan that Joe hid played tae death at the time. Whenever Johnboy heard ‘Proud Mary’ and ‘Bad Moon Rising,’ it always reminded him ae when he wis oan the run fae Oakbank and they wur robbing some ae the the Provi-cheque men in the north ae the city. Wance 1970 came aroond, the favourites hid aw been tracks fae ‘Willy and The Poor Boys,’ he remembered.

  It hid also been roond aboot that time, earlier in the year, that Johnboy hid started his first legal job in Silverman’s, a big fancy shoap doon in the Candleriggs, jist alang fae the Fruitmarket, as part ae his release deal. Tae help convince the authorities tae release him, Tony hid approached Wan-bob Broon aboot getting some employer tae provide Johnboy wae a reference fur a job. Wan-bob hid spoken tae Fat Fraser Jeffs, who wis married tae Donna, The Prima Donna, The Big Man’s book keeper. Fat Fraser ran a fleet ae auld clapped-oot delivery vans between aw the big shoaps in the city centre, delivering customers parcels tae the main GPO warehoose up in West Nile Street fur oanward delivery.

  “Well, the sticky-fingered wee basturt better behave himsel or his baws’ll end up being kicked stupid,” Fat Fraser hid promised Wan-bob.

  He’d started working fur peanuts in the fancy goods department. His main job, apart fae taking goods oot ae the stockroom tae the shoap flair fur the sales lassies, hid been tae operate the goods lift fur aw the different departments. Johnboy’s job hid been tae go up in the lift, collect whitever items hid been bought during the day and take them doon tae the basement fur collection and delivery by Fat Fraser’s vans. Silverman’s also hid a jewellery repair department. It hid been jist too tempting fur Johnboy, that first week. Oan his second day oan the job, when he’d been in the basement, wan ae the store men supervisors hid left the security cage door open fur a few seconds, which wis a rare occurrence. Johnboy hid jist dipped his haun through the door and picked up the first wee package that he could lay his hauns oan. It hid turned oot tae be a fancy gold ring wae a lovely big pearl stuck oan tap ae it. The ring wis getting sent back tae the customer efter it hid been repaired and cleaned. He’d opened it wance he’d left tae go and catch his bus up the road wance his shift hid finished. It wis also at that time that himsel, Tony and Joe hid started tae drink in Jonah’s Lounge, the pub opposite the fire station oan Springburn Road. Also, drinking in there at the time hid been a guy who wis jist a wee bit aulder than them, called Pat McCabe. Pat spent his whole day, fae morning tae night, shoplifting, efter taking orders fae people through in the bar or further afield. He even travelled ootside Glesga as well, tae places like Stirling, Perth and Dundee. Fur The Mankys, he wis the real deal and that meant opportunities. Before they’d even spoken tae Pat, The Mankys hid speculated mair than wance, aboot why he walked aboot, dressed like a tailor’s dummy and wis always flush wae money. Tony hid showed him the ring, and he’d impressed them even mair, by pulling oot a wee jeweller’s eyeglass tae hiv a wee swatch at it.

  “Aye, right, hmm, aye. So, how much dae ye want fur it?” he’d asked them.

  “You tell us,” Tony hid replied.

  “Right, whit ye’ve goat here is whit we, in the trade, call a right wee stoater, so it is,” Pat hid said, impressing them. “This is a Scottish river pearl ring. Ah’d say that the pearl itsel is jist o’er a quarter ae an inch and its haun-mounted in eighteen carat yellow gold. It’s definitely haunmade.”

  “So, how dae ye know that then?” Johnboy hid asked him.

  “Ye kin jist tell. See aw that wee carving? That’s Celtic writing, so it is. A machine never made they marks. Naw, it’s been a craftsman that’s put this thegither,” Pat hid puffed knowledgably.

  “So, whit the fuck’s it worth then?” Tony hid repeated.

  “Ah reckon Ah could get youse fifty quid, less ma ten percent?”

  “Done,” Tony hid said.

  Efter that, Pat hid said he’d take whitever jewellery they could get him, particularly rings, watches, necklaces and brooches.

  It hid also been aboot that time that another two Springburn boys, other than Pat, hid started tae run aboot wae them.

  Johnboy hid originally met Snappy Johnston through working in Silverman’s and it hid been Snappy who’d introduced Peter Paterson tae everywan. Peter hid eventually become The Mankys’ official runner. A lot ae people thought ae a runner as a jumped-up message boy and in some cases, they’d hiv been right, bit in their world, a runner wis something tae be, especially if ye wur lucky enough tae get in wae a big team wae a decent reputation fur making money and no taking shite aff ae anywan. It hid always been Tony’s dream tae hiv a runner servicing The Mankys. When they wur young, they used tae race and try and beat The Big Man’s runner in the Toonheid, Calum Todd, who’d gone oan tae run in the Olympics.

  “The day that happens is the day ye’ll know we’ve arrived,” Tony always used tae say when The Mankys wur sitting up Jack’s Mountain, o’er by the stinky ocean, eating their good knocked-aff mince pies that Skull…and then Joe efter him…hid blagged aff ae a City Bakeries van when they wur manky-arsed wee snappers. Even at that age, Tony wis ambitious.

  Wan-bob Broon hid sat in Jonah’s wan night, telling them the history ae The Runners fae way back in the day when he wis a thieving wee basturt in the Toonheid before the war. Peter hid been a bit embarrassed initially as he thought he wis gonnae come oot ae the story as some sort ae gofer until Wan-bob started talking aboot the legends.

  “Aye, ye hid bookies’ runners and the runners fur aw the big offices in the toon centre. Christ, every business fae the telegraph offices doon tae the local grocery shoaps like Curley’s and The City Bakeries hid their runners. Ye could always tell a runner, whether he wis in a uniform or no. Being a runner fur wan ae the top teams ae the day wis something else though. Some ae the hardest basturts in the toon hid started aff as runners. And respect? Christ, everywan knew who ye wur and who ye wur working fur. Nowan messed ye aboot and the money and fanny wur oot ae this world.”

  He’d telt them aboot people like Justified Jimmy, who never took a telling and widnae leave until he goat an answer tae the message he’d jist delivered, no matter if the basturt he wis trying tae get a reply oot ae wis a mental psycho. Crab–like John, wis another…so-called because he wis the quickest basturt oan two legs in the toon. Everywan always thought he hid eight legs wae the speed he wis gaun at until he came tae corners. Insteid ae turning a sharp left or right, he’d lean o’er tae the side and take the corners in a wide arcing semi-circle, his legs still gaun like the clappers…hence the crab name. Wan-bob hid hid them aw in stitches aw night wae his tales and Peter’s chest hid been two sizes bigger at the end ae the night than whit it hid been when he’d arrived.

  “Aye, well, jist remember, if ye’re wanting anywan tae go running aboot wae messages fur youse, Snappy’s yer man,” he’d said efter Wan-bob hid left.

  Peter could be a moaning basturt, bit everywan liked him. He hid the gift ae the gab. It hid been Snappy who’d gied The Mankys the connection wae Peter. Wan day, jist before five o’clock, when Silverman’s wis shutting up shoap and everywan who worked there wis jist aboot tae rush hame tae catch Crossroads, Johnboy hid drapped aff his last load ae the day doon tae the basement when he realised that he’d left his jaicket up in the fancy goods store room oan the third
flair. He’d nipped back up in the lift tae get it, bit the bloody thing hid broken doon between the second and third flairs. The goods lifts wur no like the fancy wans that the public used where ye pressed a button and a nice shiny steel door slid open tae take ye tae where ye wanted tae shoap. The wan that Johnboy wis in charge ae wis an auld rickety thing, made up ae two wooden walls and a grille gate oan either side ae it. Wance ye goat tae the department, ye jist hid tae slide open the grille and push the door open and ye wur in the storeroom behind the scenes oan the shoap flair. The lift widnae work until the grille gate wis shut tight. That day that it hid stoapped between the second and third flair, Johnboy hid pressed the alarm button, expecting tae get rescued efter a couple ae minutes. When aboot twenty minutes hid passed and nae fucker hid come tae rescue him, Johnboy hid decided tae try tae get himsel oot. He’d slid open the grille gate and pushed the third flair door open. Using the latch ae the gate as a step, he’d heaved himsel up oan tae the flair and crawled oot ae the lift, praying that it widnae move aff, slicing him in two. It hid only been efter he’d grabbed his jaicket and wis heiding doon the stairs that he’d realised that he wis the only wan left in the entire shoap. When he’d reached the main door oan the ground flair, he couldnae open it fae the inside. He’d then nipped doon tae the basement door and found that the door there only hid a Yale lock that wid let him oot oan tae the street. He’d been jist aboot tae shut the door behind him, when the light bulb in that napper ae his hid finally switched oan. He’d nipped back in through the door and hid gone fur a wee wander. Oan the ground flair, there wis the electrical department, wae aw its fancy lights and lamps. In another section, there wis curtains, blinds and cushions and at the far end, wis aw the bed frames, mattresses and bedspreads. Oan the second flair wis aw perfumes and the jewellery department. There wur internal roller doors that stoapped anywan fae getting access tae the jewellery which hid been a bit ae a bummer. Oan the third flair, wis fancy goods and kitchen stuff. Finally, oan the fourth flair, wis aw the gents’ and wummin’s clothing and shoes. Johnboy hidnae hung aboot too long because, wae the place being empty, it hid been a bit creepy. Before leaving that night, he’d goat himsel, Tony and Joe a nice new pair ae moccasin shoes each. He’d then heided back tae the stuck goods lift in the fancy goods department. Using a wooden coat hanger, he managed tae slam the grille gate tightly shut intae the wee hooked catch beside the haundle. Efter that, it hid jist been a matter ae staunin up and pushing the third flair door shut. When he’d gone doon the stairs tae the basement, he’d then pressed the button and the lift hid arrived at the bottom. He never did find oot why the lift hid stoapped, bit it hid been a good bit ae luck fur him that it hid. Efter pulling the ootside door shut behind him and heiding alang tae the bus stoap in the High Street, jist up fae the cross, he’d managed tae nip oan a number thirty seven that hid arrived at the bus stoap at the same time as he hid. He’d only jist plapped that arse ae his doon oan the seat up oan the tap deck, when he’d been joined by a cheeky looking basturt, whose face looked a bit familiar.

  “So, whit hiv ye goat there then?” he’d asked Johnboy.

  Johnboy hid looked aboot tae see if there wis mair than jist this wan.

  “Who the fuck ur ye talking tae?” Johnboy hid challenged the cheeky basturt, satisfied that he wis oan his lonesome.

  “Who dis it look like?”

  Johnboy hid eyed him up. He wis aboot Johnboy’s age and build, wae thick dirty blond hair. Johnboy could smell the fresh smell ae fag smoke aff ae him, despite the blue haze that hung in the air ae the tap deck ae the bus fae the fags ae the other passengers. His mind hid been gaun like the clappers. He’d swithered whether tae jump up in his seat and kick the cheeky prick, full oan the coupon, bit hid realised that he wis sitting at the windae seat wae three shoe boxes tied wae string oan his knee, so there wisnae much room tae swing his leg before the nosey basturt goat in there first. He’d noticed that the nearest haun rail that went fae the flair tae the ceiling oan the back ae the seats throughoot the tap deck, wis attached tae the second seat in front ae them, so smashing the nosey basturt’s beak against that hid been oot ae the question. Insteid, Johnboy hid jist decided tae ignore him and hid sat watching two auld winos hivving a square-go ootside The Auld College Bar, jist before the lights oan Duke Street.

  “Dae ye want wan?” Nosey Arse hid asked, trying tae haun Johnboy a Number 6.

  “Ah don’t smoke.”

  “So, whit dae ye dae then?”

  “Where dae ye come fae?” Johnboy hid asked him, ignoring the question and the fag that wis held oot tae him.

  “Springburn.”

  “So, whit else dae ye dae then?”

  “Ah work in the same place as yersel.”

  Fuck, Ah’m caught, Johnboy’s brain hid screamed, as the bus took aff oan green. He’d turned his heid away fae the stranger, watching the two winos doon oan the pavement taking a swing at each other before landing oan their arses. Johnboy hid wondered whit size ae feet the nosey basturt sitting beside him hid. He wondered if he’d accept a pair ae size nine moccasins tae keep his trap shut.

  “So, ur ye some sort ae grass then?” Johnboy hid challenged him, eyeing him up and measuring whether he’d be able tae take him wance they goat aff the bus.

  “Me? Am Ah fuck. Why wid ye think that then?”

  “Because ye came and sat doon here beside me and Ah don’t even know ye, so Ah don’t, so fuck aff and leave me alane.”

  “Ah get oan the same bus as yersel every morning, jist before yer stoap, so Ah dae.”

  “So, where dae ye live then?”

  “Vulcan Street.”

  “So, ye’ll keep that trap ae yers shut then?”

  “Ah’m no gonnae say anything.”

  “Good.”

  The next morning, Johnboy hid jist plapped his arse doon oan tae his seat, when Vulcan Boy hid slipped in beside him.

  “So, whit ur ye gonnae blag the day then?”

  Johnboy hid been wanting tae tell him tae fuck aff, bit knew he wis lumbered wae him aw the way tae Silverman’s. He’d mentioned him tae Tony and Joe the night before. They’d thought it wis funny.

  “Jist gie him a swift kick in the hee-haws if he comes near ye again, Johnboy,” Joe hid advised, laughing.

  “Why did ye no come and join me? Ah wis saving ye a seat, so Ah wis,” Vulcan Boy hid demanded, breaking intae Johnboy’s thoughts.

  “Ah never saw ye,” he’d lied.

  “A blind man wid’ve spotted me.”

  “Look, Ah’m no yer pal, Ah don’t want tae be yer pal, so keep oot ae ma road.”

  “Or whit?”

  “Ur ye efter a square-go or something?” Johnboy hid snarled, challenging him, sick as a pig because he hated aw that violence shit that the others seemed tae enjoy.

  “Me? Fuck, Ah cannae fight sleep, so Ah cannae. The last time Ah goat intae a fight, Ah ended up wae seven stitches oan that napper ae mine,” he’d said, tenderly touching his heid.

  “Is that right? So, whit happened?” Johnboy hid asked, cursing himsel fur biting, as he watched they nicotine-stained fingers gingerly tracing the healed scar under the mop ae hair.

  “Ma big sister Jean took a soup ladle tae it. Sorest thing Ah’ve ever felt in ma whole life, so it wis,” he’d replied, matter ae factly, taking a drag ae his fag.

  “Fucking hell, whit did ye dae, kill her cat?”

  “It’s funny ye should say that, bit that’s exactly whit Ah did.”

  “Ye’re joking?” Johnboy hid coughed, laughing, furgetting that he wisnae supposed tae be talking tae Vulcan Boy.

  “Am Ah fuck. Ah wish Ah wis. Ma maw goat a brand new twin tub washing machine, the first wan she’s ever hid in her life. She’d been nagging me tae get rid ae her clothes wringer, which hid been sitting attached tae the sink fur as long as Ah could remember. Ah never realised how heavy the basturt wis until Ah’d unbolted it aff the draining board. It wis wan ae they big double roller deluxe wans which ye put yer soaking cloth
es through the bottom ae first before rolling them through the tap wan and yer clothes come oot practically dry. Mind you, Ah widnae recommend anywan wrapping their shite-catchers aroond their arse and baws straight fae the rollers. Ah ended up wae jock-rot last year when Ah wis still in school. Here’s me thinking Ah wis gonnae die ae some horrible disease because Ah’d done a shite in the lassies toilets and deliberately never pulled the plug, knowing fine well Ah should’ve done, and the poxy doctor laughingly asked me if Ah’d been wearing wet underpants tae school. He said it wis the worst jock-rot he’d ever clapped eyes oan,” he’d moaned, clutching that crotch ae his in memory, as Johnboy laughed.

  “So, where dis the cat come in then?”

  “Oh, Jean’s cat? Well, wance Ah’d unbolted the wringer, there wis nae way Ah wis gonnae heave that big basturt aw the way doon four flights ae stairs fae the tap landing. It wis made oot ae cast iron, so it wis. Ah jist opened the kitchen windae wan night when she wis roond at the bingo, looked oot, saw that there wis nowan there, and pushed it oot, o’er the sill. Unfortunately, ma sister Jean’s cat wis getting chased by a wee shitehoose ae a Jack Russell and the two ae them wur right under the windae when the wringer landed oan the baith ae them.”

  “Fur fuck’s sake!” Johnboy hid gasped.

  “Aye, Ah know, that’s whit Big Maggie McPherson in the next close shrieked and much mair. She wis fair upset aboot the death ae Kong, so she wis,” he’d declared wae a straight face, as aw the other passengers turned tae stare at Johnboy, who wis sitting there howling wae laughter.

  “Aye, well, ye might laugh bit Ah still get flashbacks fae when that big ladle twanged aff ae that skull ae mine, so Ah dae,” he’d said solemnly, haun automatically gaun up tae touch the flashback scar again.