by Todd, Ian
“Don’t worry, Snappy. Ah’m sure that ye’ll no let us furget aboot yer brilliant alternative plan fur the next year, if it aw goes pear-shaped,” Simon said, as everywan burst oot laughing, as Snappy gied them a two fingered salute wae baith hauns.
“Right, Pat, pick me up at two in the morning. Don’t bother coming up the stairs...Ah’ll see ye doon oan Auchentoshan Terrace. Snappy, we’ll pick you and Simon up fae yer closemooths at five past two. Noo, remember, we need tae dae this wae the minimum ae force. Ah widnae expect Harper tae put up a fight, so let’s no try and scare the shit oot ae him. If he panics, we’ll aw end up in the jail.”
“Right, it’s jist aboot dark. Ah’ll nip up and leave a jemmy and the shooters behind the fence beside the hoose. That way if we get stoapped by the bizzies oan route, they won’t find anything incriminating in the car,” Simon volunteered.
“Ah’ll see if Ah kin blag a car fae the car park, belonging tae wan ae the nightshift workers, at the Sighthill freight terminal oan Springburn Road. If everything goes awright, we kin hiv it back there, withoot anywan knowing it’s been gone,” Pat volunteered.
“Make sure ye’ve goat gloves tae leave wae the jemmy and the shooters, Simon,” Tony said, as they goat up and heided fur the door.
Chapter Thirty Nine
Harper hid been unsettled aw day. He kept gaun back tae the wee incident wae Fast Track Dave’s Roller oan Colston Road the day before. He wis sure that he hidnae been recognised. He’d only hid a couple ae dealings wae Fast Track o’er the years through his brother-in-law, Hawkeye Campbell. It wis coming up fur two years since Hawkeye hid returned tae the toon, efter hivving fucked aff, leaving a trail ae bad debt behind him. It hidnae been any auld debts either. His first mistake hid been in approaching Tam Simpson fur a loan ae a hunner smackers. His second mistake hid been in no being able tae pay aff his weekly payments oan time, including interest. When he couldnae keep up wae the payments, the interest hid spiralled oot ae control and before Hawkeye’d known whit wis happening, he hidnae been a skid mark aff ae owing the basturt three hunner quid. The third mistake hid been in approaching Pat Molloy, the gangster fae the Toonheid, who owned The Carlton Club, a casino doon by George’s Square. Harper wisnae too sure whit the set up hid been there, bit The Big Man hid haunded o’er a van load ae Benson and Hedges fags fur Hawkeye tae sell and get a cut fae, tae pay aff his debt tae The Simpsons. Hawkeye hid never been good wae money, him being a waster and aw that. Harper wisnae too sure whit he’d been oan at the time, bit whitever it wis, it hid certainly frizzled that brain ae his. The stupid basturt hid never haunded o’er The Big Man’s cut fae the fag deal, bit insteid, hid shot the craw fur a few months. Then, even mair stupidly, Hawkeye hid re-appeared oan the scene. Owing The Simpsons money wis wan thing, bit owing an even bigger, meaner basturt money, and then daeing a runner, wis jist asking fur trouble. Harper and his sister, Jean, hid only seen Hawkeye fur aboot hauf an hour, efter he’d goat back, before he’d disappeared fur good. Hawkeye hid telt him that he’d come up wae a cunning plan tae calm everything doon. He wis gonnae try and arrange a meeting wae Danny Murphy, wan ae the brothers who wis high up in The Big Man’s team, bit he’d never goat the chance. A couple ae days efter arriving back in the toon, Hawkeye’d been found deid, full ae stab holes, minus his toe and fingernails and wae fag burns aw o’er his chest. His nipples hid been ripped aff wae pliers and his face hid been smashed tae a pulp. He’d also been nailed tae a door jist like Jesus F Christ. Harper hid heard that they’d hid tae use his dental records tae identify him because some basturt hid took an acetylene torch tae the tips ae his fingers efter ripping aff his nails. They’d found the poor basturt, still attached tae the door, up near Possil Loch. Some guy hid been oot, walking his wee Jack Russell dug, when it hid goat aw excited at whit wis under the door. When the guy hid looked under it, he’d noticed the spread-eagled, bare feet ae poor Hawkeye nailed tae the underside ae it. Aw the papers hid hid a field day aboot it. Harper hid even read that it couldnae hiv been wan ae the Catholic gangs in the city because ae the way Hawkeye hid been crucified. The Glesga Echo hid stated that any Catholics worth their salt wid’ve known that the feet wur nailed thegither when somewan goat crucified in biblical times. That meant that it couldnae hiv been The Big Man’s crew or the ‘Well-known Toonheid Villains’ as that wummin reporter said in The Echo. The fact that maist ae The Simpsons gang, apart fae Tam and Toby themsels, wur well-known Proddies and seeing as the body hid been found jist up the road fae them oan Possil Loch, meant that everywan and their dug, apart fae the bizzies, knew it hid been the work ae The Simpsons. Nowan hid ever been charged wae it. Jean hid ended up being crucified in a different way. She’d been carted aff tae the nut-hoose and they weans ae hers hid been taken intae care by the Possil social workers. It hid taken her nearly two years tae get them back, wance she’d goat oot ae the funny farm. Hawkeye hid owed Fast Track Dave forty quid. The unfortunate fact fur Harper wis that he’d been wae Hawkeye when he’d put oan and lost the forty quid at the dugs, which meant that The Big Man’s heavies hid come tae him as guarantor, tae square up the debt. He’d been allowed two weeks’ respite tae get the money thegither, including a hunner and fifty percent interest, before he’d haunded it o’er tae wan ae The Big Man’s gorillas called Wan-bob. Wid Fast Track Dave hiv remembered him fae nearly two years ago? That wis the question that hid kept Harper tossing and turning aw night. The other reason fur the sleepless night hid been how tae get doon intae Springburn tae retrieve his hunner quid fae Tony Gucci? He regretted haunin the ring o’er. The best thing wid’ve been tae try and negotiate wae The Echo direct, bit the basturts hid never said how much the reward wis. Aw they’d said in the paper wis that it wid be substantial. His arse hid flapped when his sister hid telt him aboot everywan that wis trying tae track him doon. He wisnae too distressed aboot the bizzies or The Simpsons. He’d come tae terms wae that. Simon Epstein confronting his sister oan the street hid been a surprise tae him though, and hid gied him a wee bit ae hope. Tony Gucci still owed him a hunner smackeroos since he hidnae turned up at The Scotia Bar tae collect it fae him. Crazy though it seemed, he wondered if Tony hid been trying tae track him doon tae haun it o’er. Gucci didnae strike Harper as being the Santa Claus type, bit ye never knew…maybe he wis wan ae the few shitehooses he’d come across that hid a conscience. However, he knew fine well that the real reason he wis worried and no sleeping well, wis the other guy that hid turned up, oot ae nowhere. Jean hid said that he’d been a wee, scurrying, ratty type in an auld dirty raincoat who she widnae hiv trusted wae an empty milk bottle. Who the fuck wis he then? Whit wis he efter and who wis pulling his strings?
Harper knew he couldnae stay where he wis indefinitely, even though he’d a good wee set-up there. Sitting oot ae sight ae herms way in the basement meant he could hiv a light oan withoot anywan knowing he wis there. He also wisnae sure when the family wid be coming back fae wherever they wur. He’d put thegither a couple ae holdalls full ae loot that he’d be able tae shift quickly and hid left them oot ae sight, beside the back door. The following day wis Monday which meant the buses wid be running. Mair importantly fur Harper, aw the pawn shoaps wid be open. If he goat up and oot the door when it wis still dark, he could nip up oan tae the Kirkintilloch Road, at the tap ae the street, and get a bus that wid take him across tae the south side ae the city. He’d pawn a few things up oan Alison Street, which wid get him enough tae take a train south. Wance he wis in London or Leeds, he could pawn the rest ae the swag. He’d hing back oan the jewellery that he’d rifled fae the master bedroom and get the lay ae the land first, before trying tae punt it roond the pubs in wherever he ended up. Fuck the hunner quid that Gucci owed him...it wid be better tae be safe than sorry. The quicker he goat oot ae Glesga, the better he wid feel. Noo that he’d made up his mind, he felt better. By this time the following day, he’d be doon south, living it up. He might even be able tae join in oan aw the Christmas shite gaun oan roond aboot him. He’d need tae rem
ember tae take wan ae the chocolate selection boxes that he knew wur lying underneath the discarded wrapping paper beside the Christmas Tree, which he’d left lying, efter he’d opened the pressies, looking fur goodies. He looked across at the TV screen. ‘Joy at Christmas’ wis jist starting. It wid be good tae hiv his hauns free fae wearing gloves aw the time, he thought tae himsel, as he stretched his erm doon and lifted oot a Milky Bar fae the hauf empty selection box that wis lying at his feet, before settling back in his seat.
Chapter Forty
Digger Day Nine
Johnboy lay back and let his eyes get used tae the dark. He felt a lot calmer than he hid the night before. When Creeping Jesus hid telt him that Silent hid goat chibbed, he’d wanted tae tell him tae fuck aff and leave him alane. The fact that the minister couldnae tell him who’d done it, hidnae helped, although Johnboy knew it wid’ve been Toffee Simpson. He’d been lying dozing, when he’d been disturbed by the sound ae the feet and the crashing ae the steel gates before they’d arrived at his cell door. He’d jumped up, wae his back against the windae wall, facing the door because he knew it wis a delegation ae some sort. In the jail, delegations usually meant trouble. He’d become familiar wae the different sounds ae the footsteps since he’d been in the digger and there wis an odd wan in amongst the other two heiding his way. He usually knew whit screw the feet belonged tae, including The Chief Boar and The AG. He’d lie listening tae the clip ae the boots or the scraping oan the flair or the shuffling ae somewan that didnae lift their feet high aff the ground when they wur walking towards his cell. Some walked quicker than others, while a few liked tae creep up tae his door before ramming the key intae the lock and throwing it open wide, hoping tae catch him wae his tadger in his haun. Wan ae them, a big-nosed SO called McVey, who wis the heid ae The Mufti’s, wid try tae silently creep up, no realising that wan ae his rubber soled boots made a wee creaking noise that he obviously didnae know aboot. A few times, Johnboy hid quietly shot up oan tae they feet ae his and nipped across tae the cell door wall and pressed his back hard intae the corner. He’d staun, oot ae sight, waiting fur the eye tae appear at the spyhole. The first time he’d done this, McVey hid jist aboot shat himsel.
“Taylor! Taylor! Ur ye in there?” he’d whined fearfully, seeing his senior stripes vanish in front ae they beady eyes ae his, as he peered through the glass-covered hole.
When Johnboy hidnae answered, McVey hid shouted fur Beattie, his lackey, tae get his arse alang tae him quickly, before the cell door flew open, his panic quickly turning tae relief across that coupon ae his.
“Dae ye think ye’re being funny, Taylor?” he’d shouted at Johnboy.
“Whit? Ah wis jist daeing finger press-ups aff ae the wall, so Ah wis.”
“Ah want ye where Ah kin clock ye, so Ah dae,” McVey hid snarled, sounding like the haufwit that he wis.
Johnboy couldnae remember the last time he’d been that close tae a God man. When Creeping Jesus hid entered, the royal blue ae his shirt, beneath the white collar hid seemed tae brighten up the cell. Johnboy hid become used tae the dull yellow, painted brick walls, dark wine red painted concrete flair and the black suits and hats ae the screws. The blue screaming oot fae under that grey suit hid reminded him ae the last time he’d been tae a Ranger’s game, across at Ibrox. When he’d disappeared tae get a chair, Johnboy hid taken the opportunity tae noise him up. As soon as CJ hid sat doon, Johnboy hid known he’d feel uncomfortable wae him staunin there oan his concrete bed, towering above him and looking doon oan him. Johnboy hid sussed that wan oot long ago, as he’d sat uncomfortably, wae bizzies pacing aboot in front ae him, asking him awkward questions many a time in the past. He’d been jist aboot tae start slowly pacing aboot the cell so that he’d hiv tae shift aboot in his seat tae follow him, when CJ hid telt him aboot Silent. Everything hid changed efter that. He’d tried his best tae keep himsel under control, in order tae try and get as much info oot ae him as he could. That hid meant kidding oan that he awready knew aboot the chibbing. Efter CJ hid left, he must’ve done aboot two hunner press-ups and sit-ups. He never did get back tae sleep efter that. When he’d goat his stale bun at night and discovered nae message in it fae Freckles, he’d bounced it aff the wall, before jumping up and doon oan it wae baith feet. Rabbie the moose hid goat a fair feed wae the amount ae crumbs scattered aw o’er the flair. He’d also made up his mind that as far as the Garngad crowd wur concerned, he wis finished wae the basturts. Freckles and that lot could go and take a run and jump. When he’d goat his tea and bun earlier, he hidnae even looked tae see if there wis any news. He’d jist bit intae it and hidnae been surprised that aw it contained hid been stale dough. Since the God man’s visit, whenever he’d heard feet heiding his way during the day, he’d hoped it wid be him. He couldnae believe that he actually wanted a visit fae the guy that everywan in Polmont avoided like the plague and made oot they wur sleeping, so they didnae hiv tae talk tae him, when he did the roonds ae the cells. It wid’ve been bloody hilarious if it wisnae so serious.
Johnboy thought back tae the start ae the previous year when Silent hid jist arrived back oan the scene efter being finally freed fae Thistle Park. It hid also been during that time that Kate Simpson hid arrived in Springburn. In aw the time that he’d known him, it wis rare fur Silent tae say very much, other than tae ask the odd question, usually when it wis least expected. Oan a good day, he could act jist like everywan else and come across as normal, bit it didnae last fur too long. Maist people, including The Mankys, never really hid a clue whit wis gaun oan in that heid ae his. It hid never stoapped him wae the lassies though. Johnboy wisnae sure if that wis due tae his pure white blond hair or because two weeks efter he’d been libbed fae approved school, he’d dumped the suits that Jake hid goat him and gone and goat himsel measured up fur a grey shiny silk suit, like something that James Brown wid’ve turned up oan stage wae. Simon and Snappy hid asked Johnboy tae get Silent tae tone it doon a bit because he’d become a ticket magnet. Aw the wee stab merchants in the toon centre wanted tae take a knife tae him, jist because ae the way he dressed and looked. Lassies wur always throwing themsels at him and being the greedy basturt that he wis, he always helped himsel. Maws always wanted tae mother him, grannies always wanted tae take him hame tae gie him a good feed while the lassies aw wanted tae shag him. Apart fae managing tae escape the clutches ae Yoko Ono’s wan and only, bit biggest fan, o’er in Byres Road and a wee skirmish wae Aggie McCoy wan night, Johnboy’s love life hidnae been worth writing hame aboot. There wis a brilliant bunch ae lassies that hung aboot wae The Mankys. Maist ae The Mankys hid tried tae go oot wae them at wan time or other. They wur fantastic, funny and sexy, bit no known fur allowing manky basturts like them intae their knickers. Maist ae them hid been born and brought up in Springburn, apart fae two ae them, Senga Jackson and Pearl Campbell, who wis the youngest oot ae the lot ae them. Tony’s girlfriend, Kim Sui, who wis a textile design student, hid arrived oan the scene later. Johnboy couldnae remember who’d said it…though he thought it might’ve been Paul…that anywan daft enough tae marry a lassie fae the Toonheid, particularly wan wae red hair, deserved aw they goat. The fact that Pearl hid red hair meant she wis safe enough fae somewan like Johnboy…imagine the weans. Senga Jackson? She wis a whole different kettle ae fish though, plus she didnae hiv red hair. He knew it wis stupid, bit he could still feel the humiliation ae being knocked back efter his ma made him go intae school oan Senga’s tenth birthday wae a box ae Maltesers and a card when they sat thegither in primary school back in the Toonheid. Whit a knockback she’d gied him…and in front ae the whole class and Olive Oyl, their teacher as well. Noo-a-days, he tried tae ban Senga oot ae his thoughts, bit his brain refused tae allow it. Senga Jackson…Johnboy hid bloody-well loved her fur years…still did, if he wis honest wae himsel. Aw the rest ae The Mankys knew that. That’s why none ae them hid ever attempted tae ask her oot fur a date…which wis good ae them, considering whit a bunch ae basturts they could be. The thought ae him and Senga e
nding up thegither hid carried him through aw the shite times in approved schools o’er the years. He’d been delighted when he’d found oot that her family hid moved up tae Springburn efter their tenement in Taylor Street wis pulled doon. She’d ended up in the same class at Albert Secondary School wae some ae the lassies, as well as wae Simon and Ben. She wis absolutely gorgeous and knew how tae put Johnboy in his place. Every time Johnboy clocked her or talked tae her in Jonah’s, his heart sank. She wanted absolutely nothing tae dae wae him. If he wis honest, who could blame her? Tony kept telling him tae forget her and that there wis plenty mair fish in the sea. He knew Tony wis right, bit he jist couldnae shake how he felt aboot her aff his shoulders like dandruff.
“She’s jist playing wae yer heid, so she is. Fuck her,” hid been Tony’s last bit ae advice tae him, no long before him and Silent goat huckled.
They’d been up at a party at Pat’s pad. He’d been hauf cut and he’d been stupid enough tae listen tae Snappy.
“Right oan ye go, get in there. Ah’ll keep wee Pearl talking while ye dae the business,” Snappy hid said.
“Awright, Senga? Ah hear ye goat accepted tae train as a nurse,” he’d come oot wae, keeping it neutral tae start wae, taking his time, while her and Pearl hid jist looked at him suspiciously, wondering whit the fuck he wis up tae.
Meanwhile, Snappy hid goat distracted and heided aff tae get involved in an argument between Tony and Ben aboot some diddy fitba player, efter it became obvious that Pearl wisnae interested in anything Snappy hid tae say.
“Er, ye don’t fancy gaun oot tae the pictures, dae ye?” hid been his second opening line tae her.
“Me? Er, wae you?” hid been her response, as Pearl jist aboot cut him in hauf, slinging daggers at him wae they green eyes ae her.