Finding Rhythm (Rogue Rockstar Series Book 4)

by Lara Ward Cosio

  She didn’t look unfinished, however. Wearing a sparkling gold Jasper Conran dress that fell off one shoulder and skimmed her upper thighs, she was stunning. Her long dark hair had been curled into loose waves and pulled back into a sleek ponytail. The makeup artist had given her skin a healthy glow to go along with her signature deep red lips. Her gray eyes popped under the aid of subtle false eyelashes.

  “You look perfect,” Martin told her, sure that his smile revealed the delirious tingle he got every time he laid eyes upon her. “How could I possibly help?”

  She smiled in return and pulled him closer. “I always get nervous before these premieres. Help loosen me up?”

  The suggestion had an immediate physical effect on him as he envisioned burying his face under the short hem of her dress. It was, after all, the only way to keep from messing up all her preparations for that evening’s movie premier of the latest installment in her librarian superhero series. It was also exactly where he wanted to be.

  Martin and Lainey exchanged smiles as the car inched along Hollywood Boulevard, both filled with nervous anticipation despite earlier efforts at relieving their stress. It was their first official appearance together and it would be a big one. All of the entertainment industry media was in place along the red carpet, prepped for this moment.

  “You’re sure about me being here? I can still duck out and meet you later,” Martin said.

  “Yes, I’m sure. You know that.”

  “I couldn’t be prouder to be by your side, honey.”

  “It’s a silly superhero movie,” she said with a laugh.

  “It’s become more than that. You’ve seen the little girls dressed up like you, saying they want to be a librarian. You know girls are bragging about their smarts in a new way. It’s fantastic.”

  “It is nice,” she conceded.

  “So, we walk the paparazzi line, go inside, and then we can skip out? Take the car service straight to Santa Barbara?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Seems like a lot of time spent on making you up for twenty minutes of being seen.”

  “It is,” she said with a sigh. “Part of the game. You, on the other hand, look incredibly handsome.” She pulled on the front of his shirt before trailing her hand downward to rest on his upper thigh.

  “Fuck’s sake, Lainey. I can’t get enough of you.” He leaned in to kiss her but she turned away. She had to protect her makeup.

  “A little more patience, babe. Then you’ll have all of me.”

  He smiled ruefully as he pulled away. Taking her hand, he brought it to his lips and pressed a lingering kiss to her skin. He loved her. He wanted to tell her as much. But doing so right before stepping out in front of the relentless camera flashes seemed like bad timing.

  Instead, he took her lead as they smiled for the paparazzi, pleased when she wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned into him. She was showing the world that they were a couple. The image that became the symbol for this was of her looking up at him with a smile that was at once sweet and loving. He returned her gaze with an equal measure of adoration. Against everyone’s expectations—even their own—they had found something genuine with each other. It was a connection neither took for granted.

  Even with a stop at In-n-Out, they made it to Santa Barbara in good time. Lainey stripped out of her dress and put on a loose burgundy T-shirt and softly faded jeans along the way so that when they stepped into her house, Martin was the overdressed one. Not that it mattered. They had no plans other than to relax in low lighting so as to better see the lights of the coastline spread out before them.

  They had two days together in Santa Barbara before Martin would return home to Dublin for his week with his kids. The juggling act of traveling to be with each other was something they were still sorting out ever since that magical New Year’s Eve seven weeks ago. But their separations served as a way to ease into what they both knew was a serious relationship. Martin had no hesitations about diving deep with her, but he was conscious of Lainey needing space.

  “Put on some music and I’ll make us a drink,” Lainey said as she headed into the kitchen.

  Martin switched on Lainey’s pitiful sound system and flipped through her vinyls, settling on The Lumineers self-titled album before getting comfortable on the sofa. And he was comfortable there. Lainey’s getaway had become a place he enjoyed, a place where he found more warmth than he first thought it offered. It was still spare of personal details, but he no longer thought of that as a defect. He let Lainey be herself, rather than imposing upon her some vision of how he thought she should be. That was exactly what he had been asking for himself for the last year. He had wanted the space to explore who he was without judgment. There was no way he wouldn’t extend that to others in return, most especially Lainey.

  Lainey joined him with two tumblers of vodka tonic and lime. She handed him one and sat down, turning to face him and casually resting her legs over his lap as she leaned against the sofa armrest. He placed one hand on her thigh. They had settled into this intimate positioning before, and it always came so easily that it made him smile. In fact, they had fit together like matching puzzle pieces since the first time they met. Now they allowed themselves to stay fitted together.

  “So, all that red carpet madness didn’t bother you?” she asked.

  He laughed. “I’ve been in front of a lot more people than that.” He took a sip of his drink. “No, none of the attention bothers me. It actually felt good to be there with you.”

  She smiled, a far off look in her eyes. “It felt absurdly natural,” she said with a delighted laugh. “I’m so glad you came.”

  “So am I.” He meant it about being there with her on the red carpet, but the lustful smile he added was in reference to the quickie they’d had in the car.

  “What are the odds our driver shares that little episode with the media?”

  Martin shrugged. “It was the risk we took. No use in regretting it now.”

  She considered that for a moment. “No, you’re right. I have no regrets at all.”

  That resonated beyond the subject of their activities in the car and they both knew it. He leaned to her and kissed her gently, lingering in the feel of her soft, warm lips against his. It still felt like a revelation to be able to kiss her whenever he wanted, to know that she was only his. Gone, of course, were her “lovers.” They hadn’t talked about what they meant to each other, but there didn’t seem to be any doubt or game playing.

  “Oh!” Lainey said, pulling away. “I’ve been wanting to show you one of my newest photography pieces.” She disentangled herself from him and stood, placing her cocktail on the coffee table.

  Martin watched as she went to the wall opposite them and crouched in front of a stack of several large framed photos next to a bookcase. She pulled one frame from the others and held it behind her back as she moved to him.

  “I’m really happy with how this one turned out. Really happy.”

  He leaned forward in anticipation and set down his drink, curious for her to reveal the reason behind her Cheshire grin. When she presented the frame, he saw a black and white photograph of himself. It was from that first day when he visited her. He was looking down at his phone, and his expression was the epitome of what it looked like when falling in love. There was guileless infatuation on his face, capturing the moment when he was looking at the picture he had taken of her.

  “Do you like it?” she asked.

  Standing, he said, “It’s incredible. I mean, not to be conceited since it’s me.”

  She laughed.

  “You know what I was looking at, right?”

  Her eyes told him she did. They turned serious, then incredulous, then unfocused as she teared up. Blinking, she looked away.

  “Honey, then you know. You know what I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now.”

  “I think so,” she said softly.

  He cupped her cheek, then dragged his fingers over her jawline, pulling her f
ace up so she met his eyes.

  “I love you, Lainey.” He laughed before she had a chance to respond. That got him a look of confused hurt. “No, it’s just . . . when I said I love you, I honestly meant it in that desperate fairy-tale kind of way that I never thought was something I’d have. But I do. And it’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

  There were fresh tears in her eyes now. “I love you, too, Martin,” she said with a laugh.

  EPILOGUE

  The morning coastal fog had burned off, and the Santa Barbara sun was shining brightly as Martin and Lainey enjoyed a late breakfast. They sat outside, shaded by an umbrella, while Donal, Colm, and Sean splashed around in the pool. The kids’ school summer break coincided nicely with Rogue having finished their sixth studio album, The Point of No Return.

  Martin was seizing upon the calm before the storm of media appearances, video and photo shoots, and tour planning by bringing his kids out to California. They were delighted by the trip, especially enjoying the backlot movie studio tour Lainey was able to give them. After a brief initial period of skepticism, they had taken well to Lainey during the past six months. The fact that Martin still lived in Dublin and had no plans to leave likely helped smooth over the fact that he had brought a new woman into their lives.

  After their New Year’s Eve reunion, Martin and Lainey had spent a week together in Dublin. From there, they maintained a bi-continental relationship with each visiting the other as much as possible, including Martin accompanying Lainey to her movie premier. Though, Lainey did end up in Dublin more often than Martin did in California, in part because of all the new arrivals she wanted to greet and celebrate.

  First, it was Conor and Felicity’s adoption of a two-month old baby boy in February. They named him Romeo. Conor argued that any son of his was bound to be a heartbreaker, so the name was perfect.

  Then, Sophie gave birth to a baby boy in March. He was named Hale Duke to honor two people Gavin revered: Christian Hale and David Bowie. Bowie had passed away in January, devastating Gavin all over again. Despite his celebrity granting him access to his idols, Gavin had purposely met Bowie only a handful of times, preferring to keep the mystique alive rather than be disappointed by coming to know the icon’s more mundane side. He came by the name of Duke for his son after Bowie’s Thin White Duke persona.

  In May, Felicity gave birth to a baby girl. She and Conor named her Ella.

  With the members of Rogue now having seven kids between them, they all looked to Shay and Jessica for news that they might be adding to the brood, though the couple wasn’t in any hurry.

  “More coffee?” Lainey asked as she stood.

  “I can get it, honey,” he said.

  “I got it, babe.” She picked up his mug and headed toward the house.

  He watched her walk past the pool, promising the boys as she went that she’d go in with them in a bit. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined he’d have the life he did now. Being with Lainey continued to be the fairy-tale romance he’d accused Gavin of only ever having. She was more than butterflies. She was fireworks and an all-encompassing love that overwhelmed him on a daily basis. It was like a natural high every time he saw her, a high he couldn’t get enough of.

  That energy served him well in studio. The band wrote and recorded the album over the course of four and a half months. Each of them seemed to have renewed commitment to the process, especially Martin who felt free and inspired to unleash a more robust bass presence.

  Gavin had been good on his word and spent weeks with Martin working on a song that embodied the conflicting feelings of letting a marriage dissolve. The final song was called “It’s Come to This,” and Martin thought it was as honest and fair as he could be about his own faults in the matter.

  A song called “You Were Dear to Me” centered on Gavin’s delayed mourning of the sister he lost in a car accident when he was seven and she was just two-years-old.

  The episode with Ian at their mother’s home was sketched out in a song titled “Take It Out On Me.”

  And the title song of the album, “The Point Of No Return” was refocused from Gavin’s original suggestion to become an ode to Christian Hale.

  In between these heavy moments, they added more ebullient songs in order to balance the album out. It would be another well-received effort, with both critical praise and good sales, though none of the songs would achieve the breakout success that the stand-alone single, “Start Again” had.

  They would start a new world tour in the late Fall, easing into it before taking the holidays off. The following year’s schedule was shaping up to be a tough one, moving from city to city without a lot of time off in between. The plan was to burn through the tour as aggressively as they could, and then take the next eighteen months off. There would be no touring, no studio time, no extended commitments. The members of the band had grown out of their freewheeling younger days. They all had families or relationships that required more attention, and at a meeting at the Rogue organization’s offices in the Dublin Docklands, they had been unanimous in plotting this way forward. The decision had been made with the loss of Christian still weighing on them. His passing had left them determined to hold the things they cherished that much closer.

  Lainey returned and set a mug in front of Martin. Instead of sitting in her chair, she climbed into his lap and kissed his cheek. He held her in return without hesitation. He didn’t shy away from outward signs of affection with her when his boys were around, in large part because he wanted them to see what a fulfilling relationship looked like. Celia had never liked showing even chaste physical closeness.

  The custody agreement they had put into place from the start had continued to work out. Celia had successfully moved on after that last fight they’d had the day after Christmas. In fact, she was likely headed for marriage with a man she met at church. Martin liked him well enough. The guy was a structural engineer and seemed reliable, if not terribly interesting.

  “What shall we do with our day?” Lainey asked.

  “I’d be happy to float in the pool. Then maybe take the boys out for dinner?”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  They had established a truce with the media once the firestorm of their relationship going public had calmed down. Coached by Gavin, who had always had an innate sense for self-promotion and marketing, Lainey gradually revealed more about herself and her relationship with Martin. It served to turn the tide so that her rabid fan base and the media went easier on her, before ultimately coming to root for her and Martin as a couple.

  Lainey would begin filming the fourth movie in her superhero franchise at about the same time Rogue went on tour. She would be free after that to do the kind of films she wanted. Or not. The prospect of having the option to take her own extended hiatus thrilled her. She and Martin talked about traveling together. Martin had racked up recommendations from his friends: Gavin raved about seeing snow polo with professional players riding their ponies out on a frozen lake in St. Moritz, Switzerland; Conor suggested sailing the Greek isles; Shay thought Morocco would be perfect. They also talked about Lainey spending more time in Ireland, of maybe even looking at homes together.

  Neither was in any hurry. Their time together was easy, and they were content to enjoy it. Martin felt like everything was coming together at this point in his life, like he was fully living. And he was certain it would only get better.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Lara Ward Cosio is the author of the Rogue Series Novels. When not writing, she can be found chasing her two girls around the house or at the beach,

  always with music on in the background.

  For more of the Rogue Series, see

  Tangled Up In You: A Rogue Series Novel

  Playing At Love: A Rogue Series Novel

  Hitting That Sweet Spot: A Rogue Series Novel

  To learn more about the Rogue Series, visit:

  LaraWardCosio.com

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