by Ally Forbes
‘Rachel. Look what Agnes’s made.’
Rachel took a seat at the other side of Esme.
‘This is a wonderful feast Agnes.’
Despite her previous hunger and the delicious smells in the kitchen, Rachel’s appetite had vanished.
‘Are you OK Rachel?’ Agnes asked, ‘You look pale.’
‘I think it’s just a bit of jet lag catching up on me.’ She smiled weakly. Her legs felt shaky.
‘I’ll pour you a cup of sweet tea. There’s nothing yet that a god strong cup of tea can’t sort out.’
Rachel gratefully accepted the hot cup of steaming liquid and sipped slowly.
Eric appeared at the doorway and immediately saw that something was wrong with her.
‘Rachel. Are you OK?’
She nodded. ‘I was just saying to Agnes that I think it might be a bit of jet lag catching up with me.’
But she knew it wasn’t jet lag. She found herself here with a wonderful man, with his wonderful daughter in his fabulous house and yet she couldn’t let go of the feeling that something was waiting round the corner to take it all away from her. She felt that she had just done something rash and instinctive when she should have stopped to think, to analyse and assess.
Eric came to her side and placed his hand on her forehead. Finding her temperature to be normal he bent to kiss her forehead and rub gently at her shoulders.
Agnes and Esme watched them together and looked at each other and smiled knowingly.
‘What!?’ Eric laughed.
Esme took a plate and a pancake and drizzled the warm maple syrup over it.
‘I think this will make you feel top of the world Rachel.’
She slipped the plate in front of her and when Rachel took a bite she knew [bit/sp that Agnes was once again working her magic.
‘I’ve never tasted anything like them Agnes. Superb.’ The delicious food immediately settled her shakes and warmed her through.
Agnes hugged Esme and smiled.
She stood up smartly and brushed down her apron.
‘Well I have to be getting things ready for your grandparents Esme. I’ll leave you to your breakfast.’
She bustled out of the room, efficient and homely all at once.
It was Esme’s turn to blanch. She looked at her father.
‘Grandparents?’
Eric sat beside her and took her hand.
‘You’ve grandparents Esme. My mother and father.’
‘Why.....why....didn’t you tell me? Why’ve I never met them? Mum said I didn’t have any grandparents.’
Tears welled up in her eyes.
‘Esme. Your mother and I didn’t act very much like grownups during the time we were together. We did some stupid, stupid things. I’m sure there were faults on both sides but your mother......she didn’t like your grandparents. She found it easier to pretend they didn’t exist and I.....well....I went along with it because at the time...well....at the time it was the easiest thing to do. I was foolish and I regret the decisions we made more than I can say’
‘I’d have done anything to have grandparents,’ she whispered through tears.
Eric rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes, his daughter’s words cutting him deep. Rachel wanted to reach out, to give them both the love and reassurance that they needed but she knew the conversation, as painful as it was to hear, had to happen.
‘There’s no excuse for what’s happened Esme. None at all. But I want to put it right. After your mother died I wanted us to start again. That’s why we moved to Scotland. And that’s why we’re here now. That’s why your grandparents are arriving today to stay for a little while.....and you should know that they always wanted to meet you, to know you. Always. You were never far from their thoughts.’
He put his arm round her daughter and held her close, kissing her hair.
Esme’s tears came freely and she sobbed into her father’s chest.
Rachel closed her eyes, finding the sight of the two people she loved struggling with this emotional fallout, hard to bear.
‘I’m sorry Esme. I’m so sorry,’ he whispered.
Esme swiped at her tears with the back of her hand.
‘I love you Dad.’
Rachel’s heart went out to this brave little girl who had more sense and understanding than all of them put together.
She sniffed and Rachel took a piece of kitchen roll and passed it to her.
dth=1em">Esme smiled at her.
‘I shouldn’t cry...... I’ve got grandparents’ She tried to smile and a sob escaped and a few tears rolled down her cheeks
‘Esme,’ Rachel sighed and hugged her close. Holding the little girl she felt more complete and content than she ever had done..
Eric took Esme’s hand and pulled her to him.
‘Esme. I’ve got something else to tell you...... I’ve asked Rachel to marry me.’
Esme sobbed again and threw herself back at Rachel, arms round her waist, holding her tight.
‘I knew you were the one for Dad and me,’ she whispered, burying her head into Rachel’s stomach.
Rachel shot Eric a warning glance. Why did he tell her after she had warned him not to?
Eric smiled apologetically.
Rachel bent to pick her up, kissing her.
‘Come and help me finish off these pancakes. You have to keep your strength up. Today of all days.’
Esme went to her seat and took another pancake. Her smile was open delight and she watched Rachel and her father closely, unable to take in all that had just transpired.
‘Esme. Once you’ve eaten, get changed and I’ll take you to the airport.’
Her face fell immediately.
‘I don’t want to go home Dad.’
‘We’re not going home. We’re going to collect your grandparents.’
She just about choked on her mouthful of food.
‘I have to go and get changed...’ she spluttered.
‘Hey. Slow down. We don’t have to leave for a while. And you need to eat something.’
She sat down again and took a drink of her orange juice but her legs kicked a quiet beat impatiently against her chair leg.
Eric smiled and rolled his eyes.
‘Oh go on then Esme. I don’t think you’ll be able to eat anything now will you?’
Esme shot out of her chair and bolted out of the door.
‘I’m sorry Rachel. I just had to tell her about us.’
Rachel nodded, closed her eyes and sighed.
‘You’ll have to take it easy with her today.....after all that’s happened this morning she’s going to tire quickly.’
He moved to stand behind her, rubbing her shoulders again.
‘I love you Rachel Christensen. You’ve just made me the happiest man alive today.’
She turned her head to kiss his hand.
‘I can’t believe this Eric. I’m scared to believe it.’
He pushed her vest down her arm and kissed her bare shoulder.
‘I feel my life has come together since I met you.....that the way ahead is clear. It’s like walking out of the fog when you’ve just about given up hope of ever getting home.....’
He kissed her slowly, deliciously, inviting more, wanting more
‘You’ve things to do.’ She turned to him and smiled, ‘but tonight....well....we’ll have much more time tonight..’
‘I want to got to bed with you tonight and wake up with you tomorrow morning. You make me complete Rachel.’
His words made her heart fill and her happiness soar but she kissed him briefly and nodded to the door.
‘Go and get ready. Esme will be running down the stairs any minute to ask when you’re going.’
He walked to the door and turned back to face her.
‘Make yourself at home Rachel. Catch up on some sleep or explore the place, whatever you feel like doing. We’ll just be a few hours.,’ he added, ‘I’m just about as nervous as I’ve ever been. I want this first meeting with her gra
ndparents to be special for Esme.’
She had never seen him anything but assured and poised and to see this side of him only served to endear him more to her.
‘I think this’ll be one of those days that Esme will remember for a lifetime,’ she reassured him, smiling at him. Not knowing how prophetic her words would be.
‘See you soon Rachel. I love you.’
He bent to kiss her and then he was gone.
Rachel sighed and leaned back in her chair. Delighted as she was to be here with Eric and Esme, she relished the chance to catch her breath and have some time to herself. The revelations and drama of the morning left her feeling the need for a brief period of solitude to reflect on what had happened. She topped up her cup of tea and sipped slowly. She wanted to give Eric time to leave the house. She decided that she’d take a shower and freshen up. Maybe a short nap and then she thought she would take a walk on the beach and check out what Canada had to offer.
When all seemed quiet, she went to the door and peeked out into the hall. The house was silent and Rachel made her way back up the stairs to her bedroom.
The windows had been opened and the bed linen changed. The room had been cleared and cleaned and Rachel marvelled at the efficiency with which the house was run.
She went to the window, drawn by the sound of the sea. The breeze through the open window was fresh and invigorating, a light sea salt tang that reminded Rachel of home. She inhaled deeply and decided to shower and have a brief nap before taking a walk to the shore.
The hot water scoured her skin pleasingly and she kept the water jet on high and the water as hot as she could [as 1em">
‘Rachel....Rachel....’ She woke to a gentle knocking on the door. It was Agnes.
Rachel sat up. She couldn’t have been asleep for more than twenty minutes, she thought.
‘Rachel...’ The knocking persisted.
‘Yes Agnes?’ she moved to go to the door.
‘Sorry to bother you Rachel but you have a surprise in the living room. Could you come down please?’
Rachel’s curiosity aroused, she checked her reflection quickly in the mirror. Her hair was gently tousled but it looked good. Her mind raced and she wondered what the surprise was. Had Eric left her something? She couldn’t imagine what it could be.
Agnes waited for her outside the door. She was obviously excited.
‘I’m under strict instructions not to tell you anything but I think you’ll be delighted.’
Agnes held her arm and ushered her along the hallway and down the stairs.
‘Aren’t you going to give me any clues Agnes?,’ she smiled.
‘I couldn’t spoil the surprise but I really can’t believe it. You’ll be delighted Rachel. Just delighted.’
Rachel couldn’t help get caught up in Agnes’s excitement.
Agnes approached the door to the living room and asked her to stand still.
‘Let me cover your eyes.’
Rachel stooped slightly for the smaller woman who placed her soft hands gently over her eyes and pushed the door open, guiding Rachel carefully into the room.
‘Surprise!’
She removed her hands and Rachel glanced round the room, her eyes taking a moment to adjust to the sunlight flooding through the windows.
On the sofa, sitting back relaxed and smiling was Tom Sullivan.
Rachel felt the room spin and then her world went black. Her legs gave way under her and she crumpled to the floor. Somewhere in the distance she could hear Agnes’s cry of shock.
She was vaguely aware of being lifted from the floor and laid somewhere soft.
She heard his voice, low and soft,
‘Yes, she’ll be just fine. I’ll take care of her Mrs Atherton I promise....’
Her hair was smoothed back, a firm, familiar hand stroking her hair.
A soft whisper in her ear,
‘I’ve waited a long time for this moment Rachel.’ A kiss on her neck.
She opened her eyes, her breathing fast and panicked. He was sitting beside her on the sofa, devouring her with his eyes. He was as cool and assured as he always was. A mannequin from a high class tailor; so perfect, so handsome and so confident. His short blonde hair was swept back from his face and his steel blue eyes cut into her. He was clean shaven, his jaw strong and determined
‘What are you doing here?’ she whispered.
‘Rachel.’ He shook his head.’ Is that any way to greet your fiancé?’
She tried to sit up but he pressed her shoulders pushing her gently back on to the sofa.
‘You did a pretty good job of giving me the slip......but I never gave up looking for you.’ His voice was soft and low. He traced his finger down her arm.
Silence hung in the air between them so thick that the air seemed to have a gel like quality.
Rachel daren’t move, her mind and body frozen with shock. She had imagined this moment for so long; imagined the moment that he found her, as she always instinctively knew he would. She had imagined what she would do. Played out conversations they would have. She thought she would be strong, assertive, tell him to leave her alone, that there was a reason she had left him in the way that she had. That he scared her. But that was the problem. He scared her and an imagined conversation bore no relation to real life, to the strong powerful man that now sat beside her. So close
He bent his head and kissed the slope of her breasts.
His touch broke the spell she was under.
‘No!’ She pushed him from her and sat up, finding her voice.
‘Didn’t the way I left you tell you anything Tom?’
The look of shock on his face gave her strength to continue.
‘I left you the way I did because I didn’t want to be with you. Leaving you like I did was the only way I could tell you how I felt. I was.....I was scared of you.’
He stood up and paced to the window, his anger obvious in every movement of his perfect body.
Rachel considered making a run for the door but knew that she wouldn’t be able to outpace him.
‘How can you say that I scared you? How?’ The anger in his voice was sharp and cutting.
‘I would have given you anything, everything. You were my world Rachel. You still are.’
She stood up and took a quiet step towards the door. Tom still faced the window.
‘You raped me Tom.’
He turned as fast as a snake.
‘What?’ he exploded.
Rachel took another step back towards the door.
Her voice came out as a barely audible whisper.< [spe widt/span>
‘You heard me Tom.’
‘Never. Never did I rape you Rachel.’ He took a step towards her, noticing the few steps that she had taken towards the door and closing the gap.
‘That night.....a few weeks before we were to be married....that charity dinner..’
A fleeting look of recognition and a brief glance at the floor betrayed his denial.
‘You flirted with that man all night. In front of me. I....I....couldn’t stand it Rachel.’
Anger now bubbled to the surface, replacing the fear she had felt.
‘So you dragged me home, threw my birth control pills away and....and raped me. Why? To assert your control of me, to ...to.....’
‘I felt so angry I could have killed that man. I watched him watch you. I saw the way he wanted you, touched you. I...I maybe shouldn’t have been so ......rough with you but...rape?’
Fury exploded in her.
‘Rough? Rough? You ripped my clothes from me! You forced yourself on me and there was nothing of love in that act. It was possession. That’s all it bloody well was. Possession!’
His face was straight and serious and he continued to step towards her, a slow game of emotional chess.
She took another step back.
‘I felt suffocated. You removed the air that I breathed. You had me watched, monitored, followed. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without you know
ing. I had no privacy, no room to breathe.’
She paused, the memory of her previous life making her feel claustrophobic. The walls of the house seemed to close in on her.
‘I want you to leave here Tom. Leave me and let me get on with my life. Please.’ She begged him and she felt dismay at the fear she heard in her voice.
‘I had you watched and followed by some of the best bodyguards in the world because I love you. You don’t have my wealth without making some enemies along that way and I couldn’t bear anything happening to you.’
He took another step forward.
‘I want to marry you. To have children with you. It’s always been you Rachel.’
Rachel slowly reached out behind her, trying to feel for the door handle that she knew couldn’t be far away now.
She turned fast, deciding to make a break for the door, to try to get help from Agnes.
Her hand touched the cold metal of the door handle and turned it.
His hand enclosed hers and she stopped.
‘Now Rachel. I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
She pulled her hand from his, his body close to hers, his breath on her neck. Without turning, she pleaded,
‘Please Tom. It’s over. We have to move on with our lives.’
He took her shoulder and spun her to f [sputo move onace him. His face was like granite, implacable and resolute.
‘You will grow to love me Rachel. I made a mistake. One stupid mistake. You can’t throw away what we had because of that.’
She turned her face from him, unable to hold his gaze. She could smell his expensive aftershave, see the flecks of steel in his blue eyes, feel the strength of his body so close to hers.
‘I was only happy with you for the briefest of times. I can’t live your life.’ Her heart was beating wildly. She felt like a trapped animal.
‘We can make it work Rachel.’ He paused and lifted her head to look into her eyes. ‘I will make it work for both of us.’
Summoning all her strength she pushed past him and turned on him.
‘No! ......I’ve....I’ve met someone else Tom..... I love him.’
He leaned back against the door and laughed. His eyes crinkled at the corners but his laugh was cold and mocking.
‘Ahh yes. Doctor Eric Harkett.’ He stopped laughing. ‘You’ve only just met him Rachel. You did a brave thing. You rescued his daughter. He’s grateful. You’re lonely. But it stops here.’