Ryker (Steele Brothers #1)
Page 22
“I know you are.” I knew Ryker would never intentionally do anything to hurt me or our kids. He may have been misguided, but I believed his reasoning supported his actions. “If you’d known Zane would have done something so stupid, you never would have given him that car.”
“I should have talked to you about it first. It was a decision we should have made together. I just kept imagining the look on your face when you saw your dad’s car brought back to life. I wasn’t just doing this for Zane. I was doing it for you, for your mom, hell, to honor Bill’s memory.”
He rubbed his eyes, and I suddenly noticed how tired he looked. I’d be surprised if he’d managed to steal a few hours of sleep since he got that call about the accident. “I know that.” I reached for his hand. “I know how much you loved my father. I think it was a sweet gesture.”
“For what it’s worth, we picked the car up from the impound yard and Seb said he can fix it. Turns out the damage wasn’t as bad as we’d feared.”
“That’s good.” It was a small consolation since the rest of my life was still hanging in the balance. I knew what I’d been thinking and feeling all weekend, but I didn’t know how Ryker wanted to proceed.
“You should keep the car,” Ryker said. “When it’s fixed up, I want you to have it. It’ll be a long while before Zane can get his license anyhow, and when he does, it might be best to make him work for a set of wheels the way I had to. Maybe teach him a lesson.”
“That’s not a bad idea.” I was touched that he wanted me to have my father’s car, but the gnawing ache in my chest made me wonder why he hadn’t said he wanted us to keep the car.
“Yeah, I thought giving them the things I didn’t have growing up was a blessing, but after this, I’m starting to wonder if it’s a curse. Not having the basics growing up only made me want to work harder to be successful. If we give them everything they want or need, maybe they won’t be as hungry, ya know?”
“You might be right.” I knew this was an important conversation, but I couldn’t help but feel we were avoiding the real issue. Our marriage.
“One thing we always had was trust,” Ryker said, looking at me. “I broke that trust. I made you question me, us… hell, I made you question everything.”
I had felt that way at the hospital, but I’d had a lot of time to think since then. “I’m not going to run the bakery.”
“What are you talking about?” Ryker asked, looking stunned. “You can’t give that up. It was your dream.”
“Having a family with you was my dream,” I said softly. “That’s more important to me.”
His eyes softened when he grabbed my hand. “But, baby—”
“I’ll still help my mom with it, work part-time, be a silent partner, but the boys still need me. What happened with Zane just reinforced that. These next few years will be important ones for them. If we’re not paying attention, they could get into a lot of trouble.”
“I know you’re right.” He brought my hands to his mouth, clasping my fist between both of his hands before kissing it. “But it’s not fair you should have to sacrifice so much.”
“I’m not sacrificing anything. I have everything I want. Or at least I will…” I was scared to death Ryker would tell me he’d changed his mind about moving back in, but I had to put it out there before my fears rendered me speechless. “When you come back home.”
He closed his eyes before dropping his head and clenching my hand. “You still want me to come back home?”
“Of course I do.” I needed to feel his arms around me, the assurance that in spite of everything we’d been through, we would be okay. “Tell me you want that too.”
“You know I do.” He moved to the edge of my lounger, pulling me into his arms. “I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose everything.”
I was touched that Ryker thought losing me and the ability to be a full-time dad represented everything to him, especially since he had so much more to lose. But I wasn’t surprised. Family had always been the most important thing to him. More important than money and fame, more important than wealth and material possessions. More important than success. And that’s why I loved him so much. Because even after years of struggling to be a better man, he was still the same man I’d fallen in love with all those years ago, and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
“You still have me,” I whispered in his ear.
“Then I have everything I need.”
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