by CM Doporto
“It’s okay. No one’s perfect.” He leaned closer to me and nudged me with his shoulder. “We all make mistakes. At least, I know I do.”
I swallowed hard, trying to clear the knot in my throat. Why the hell was I so nervous? “I’m, um, no exception. I make mistakes just like you.”
He cocked a brow. “Then that only means one thing.”
“What’s that?” My voice lifted in anticipation and my stomach twisted, hoping that he was about to tell me what I wanted to hear.
“We’re good for each other.”
Σ
Chapter 10
I smiled and my heart filled with an insurmountable amount of joy. Raven was confirming his decision to be with me. I pressed my lips together, trying to stop the trembling because I was on the verge of happy tears. But it was no use. One escaped and Raven caught it with the pad of his thumb.
“Lexi?” He cupped my face with his hands and I instantly lost myself even further.
Placing my hands on his chest, I responded, “Yes, Raven.”
“Do you wanna hang out today?” His alluring eyes roamed my face as though committing every part of me into memory. “And every day after that?”
“More than you will ever know,” I whispered against his lips.
His mouth parted and my eyes fluttered to a close. My heart did a happy dance as his lips pressed to mine. I spread my hands over his broad shoulders and pulled him into me. His familiar scent encamped me and I felt safe and somewhat whole again.
“Lexi?”
We stopped kissing and I jumped at the sound of my brother’s voice.
“Luke. Hey. I, um…” I hopped off the piano bench and retrieved my phone from my back pocket. “I didn’t realize you’d be here so soon.” I glanced at the clock on my phone, but my mind couldn’t piece together how much time had passed since I’d texted him.
“What’s going on?” Luke looked at me and then at Raven. His eyes were as wide as saucers and his mouth was slightly agape.
Raven got up from the bench slowly and then stood beside me. He shoved one hand in his pant pocket and ran the other over his short hair. A perplexed expression formed on his face as his eyes darted back and forth between Luke and me.
“Hey, man…good to see you.” Raven extended his hand and Luke hesitantly gripped it. Apparently, Raven knew my brother. “Lexi is your sister?”
“Yeah.” Luke nodded.
“No shit.” Raven’s voice lilted.
They continued shaking hands as their stare deepened. I said a silent prayer that things weren’t about to get ugly. “What are you doing with her?” Luke asked.
Adrenaline coursed through my veins. I felt like I had just been caught with my pants down even though I knew I had nothing to be nervous about. I was free to see whomever I wanted. Suddenly, I felt barricaded between them, but refused to let this turn bad. “You two know each other?”
They both looked at me and finally stopped shaking hands as reality set in. “Yeah, we’ve know each other for a while.” Luke shot me a quick gaze while keeping a watchful eye on Raven.
“I’ve trained with your brother several times.” Raven’s head bobbed back and forth, as he was working to put two and two together. “I can’t believe Luke Thompson is your brother. You two look nothing alike.”
“We’re not identical, remember? And we have the same last name, so…”
“I know, but it just never occurred to me.” The revelation left a star-struck expression on his face.
“Luke, can you give us a moment?” I motioned with my head toward Raven and waited to see how my brother would respond.
Luke raised his brows, shooting me a warning stare. His jaw worked from side to side and I knew he was holding back from telling me something. I couldn’t blame him because I knew what he was thinking. What the hell was I doing with Raven Davenport?
“Yeah, I guess. I’ll be waiting out in the car.” He turned to Raven and said, “Give me a call. I have a new routine I’d like to show you.”
Raven lifted his head with a slight nod. “Yeah, I’ll reach out to you over the break.”
“Do you want me to take something to the car?” Luke pointed to my bags along the wall.
“I’ve got it.” Raven quickly darted over to them. Luke rolled his eyes and I returned the same warning stare he had given me.
“Whatever,” Luke mumbled before walking outside.
I exhaled, glad that introduction was over with. I couldn’t imagine how I would introduce him to my parents if that opportunity presented itself. I’m sure Luke had a thousand questions for me and was already on the phone with Delaney, trying to find out what she knew.
“I can’t believe Luke is your brother.”
“I can’t believe you two know each other.”
“Small world.” Raven hitched a bag over his shoulder. “And you’re right. You two look nothing alike.” Raven gave me a thorough once over and I felt my cheeks flush with heat. I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
Setting my bags down, he asked, “What’s wrong?” He reached for my hands, pulling them away from my body. His fingers caressed my skin, giving me the warmth it had been crying out for. “Did I embarrass you?” One by one, he laced his fingers through mine and pulled me close. My body trembled and I took long, steady breaths, trying to ease back into my comfort zone. Raven knew how to get my blood flowing, not to mention a couple of other things, too.
I nodded and stared at the floor. His minty breath surrounded me and I gripped his hands tighter, using him for support. “Yeah, kind of.”
“Well, get used to it.” He nuzzled my neck and I about came undone. Chills dotted up my back and spread across my face. I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back my desire to jump into his arms. “Because I’m going to be doing a lot of staring.” He nibbled on my ear and a moan escaped my throat. “And touching.”
Oh, shit.
“Raven,” I whispered in his ear, “why are you telling me this when you know I have to go?”
“That’s just it, I don’t want you to go.”
I glanced at the girl behind the front desk. “But they are about to shut the dorms and my mom is waiting.”
“I know.” He rubbed his thumb along the top of my hand and I fidgeted, trying to fend off the need calling deep inside of me. “I was kind of hoping we’d hang out today.”
“How will I get home? I don’t have a car.”
The green in his eyes flickered. “I can take you home later. If you want.”
“Seriously?” I had to stop for a moment and think about what he said. I really wanted to go with him, but I knew my parents would flip. Then again, did I really care what they thought? I wasn’t with Collin any longer.
“Yeah. Your parents live in Dallas, right?”
I nodded and then smiled. “I’ll tell Luke.”
Raven picked up my bags. “Let’s go.”
It took all of my effort not to run to Luke’s car. I was sure that what I was experiencing is what most girls went through with their high school crush. At twenty years old, it was a little embarrassing, but I loved every minute of it.
Luke was leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette while texting. I knew he was chatting with Delaney. I made a mental note to message her and ask her what he wanted to know.
“I’ll be right back.” I lifted to the tips of my toes and planted a quick kiss on Raven’s cheek. The cold wind whipped around me and I zipped up my jacket.
“Ready?” Luke tossed his cig to the side and started to round his car.
“I’m not going home,” I blurted, wanting to get this over as quickly as possible. I hated to admit that I was terrified to tell my brother, but I think it was because I knew what he was going to tell me.
Luke stopped and pivoted on the heels of his Chucks. “You’re going with him?”
I pulled at the edge of my knee-high boots, feeling my legs shake. I sucked at these situations. “Yes. He’s going to take me home late
r.” I gave a casual glance to Raven. Even though he was a few feet away, I knew he could hear our conversation.
“I promise I’ll bring her home when ever she’s ready,” Raven quickly interjected.
Luke gave him a doubtful look and then opened the car door and got in. He shut the door and rolled down the window. “You tell Mom, I’m not going to.”
I nodded, relieved that he wasn’t going to give me a hard time like I thought he would.
“Lexi, I’m sure you already know this,” a low chuckle escaped, “but Raven’s probably not the best guy for you.”
Throwing my hands up in the air, I wondered what Delaney had told him and what he knew about him. “Why does everyone keep telling me that?”
Luke’s finger tightened around the steering wheel and his eyes narrowed. “Because it’s the truth. Raven has some serious issues.”
“I know.” I huffed and then gripped the door between my hands. “And I’m trying to help him work through them.”
“Oh, so now you’re a shrink?” The cynicism wove through me, making me angrier by the minute.
“What? I’m no—” Luke started his car, drowning my words with the motor.
With his head cocked to the side, he said, “Look, I’m not here to tell you what to do. You’re a grown woman and have to figure things out for yourself. All I’m saying is please be careful. If he tries to get you to use drugs, you better walk away.”
“Don’t worry, Luke, I’m not about to get involved with drugs.”
“That’s what you think.” Luke shifted the car into drive.
“How can you say that?” I shook my head. “You know me better than that.”
Luke glared at me and a wave of uneasiness washed over me. “No, I really don’t. Not anymore.”
My stomach dropped. Was my brother serious? I knew I had changed, but it was for the better. I was living my life for me instead of for our parents. I hadn’t changed that much. I mean, sure, I’d been to a few parties and done a few shots, but I hadn’t become some wild girl who had gone crazy. Or had I?
Before I could respond, Luke said, “Just call me if you need me.”
“Thanks,” I replied and then stepped back. I watched as he drove off and wondered if I was truly making a horrible mistake.
***
“Everything alright?” Raven asked as I bent down to pick up my purse.
“Yeah. We’re good,” I said in a low tone, trying to sort through the thousands of voices echoing in my head.
Why couldn’t people just let me live my life?
“Your brother’s a great baseball player and trainer.”
“Thanks. I grew up watching him play.” I walked next to him as we trekked down the sidewalk.
“Too bad he prefers to be a trainer,” Raven commented. I knew if he had that tidbit of information, he knew my brother pretty well.
“I know. He plays to appease my parents.” We crossed the street to the parking lot across from the dorms and near the stadium. Raven clicked the trunk and it popped open, then he lifted my bags and placed them inside.
“Sometimes we have to do things even though we don’t want to.”
I tossed in one of my bags. “True. But at what point do you finally say, ‘I’m going to do what I want to do’?”
Raven closed the trunk and pressed his weight against it. He held that stance for a while as he contemplated my question. “I guess when you realize that it’s not what you want or you just can’t handle it anymore.”
“Exactly.”
Raven unlocked the doors and we got in the car. He turned up the heat and I placed my hands over the vents, wiggling my fingers. “Are you cold?”
“A little.”
He took my hands in his and brought them to his lips. Warm air spread over my fingers as my breath stalled in my lungs. He did it repeatedly, causing more flesh bumps to raze my skin. In a slow and deliberate manner, he placed soft kisses on the top of my hand and then pressed his lips in a trail up my arm. I shivered internally as a rush of heat inundated me, causing a moan to escape from my throat.
“Better?” He glanced up and drew my face to his.
“Yes, much better.” I shifted in my seat, trying to keep my body under control. Needless to say, I was quickly losing the battle. I was no match for The Raven’s charm and affection. I was a glutton for his touch, but I was right where I wanted to be. It was all clear to me now. I knew the reason why I was ready to fall into him, despite my fear of being able to trust him. Raven awakened a piece of me that I never knew existed. For the first time, I truly felt alive.
“I promise you, it will only get better.” He stared deeply into my eyes and kissed me softly on the lips.
My heart rate picked up and I couldn’t help but feel excited. I hoped what he told me last night was true and that he wouldn’t hold back because of my virgin status. “I’m holding you to that promise.”
Raven pulled out of the parking lot and sped down the street. It was as though we didn’t need a green light to go where we wanted. We could run all the red lights and let the road take us wherever. I had nothing to hold me back. Not Collin or my parents. It was up to Raven how far he wanted to take things with me, because I knew I was willing to go all the way.
We ended up in downtown Fort Worth. Thousands of tiny white lights twinkled in the trees, warming the cold December air and reminding us that Christmas was only a few weeks away. Large boxes wrapped in shiny red and gold paper lined the steps of the town hall and people stood near them, taking pictures. A tall, wooden nutcracker saluted us as we passed the stately steps of the courthouse and I was glad that he brought me there.
“This is so pretty.” I peered out the front windshield.
“I heard there’s an outdoor ice rink near the city Christmas tree. Do you want to go check it out?”
“Sure.”
Raven parked nearby and we got out of the car. He slipped on his jacket, and then laced his fingers through mine. Knowing that he wasn’t afraid to show his affection toward me made me smile. We walked along the sidewalk in perfect sync with each other as Christmas music played in the distance. People shuffled in and out of the trendy shops carrying shopping bags and the smell of fresh gingerbread filled the air. I loved Christmas time and spending it with Raven made it even more special.
“Have you ever been here before?”
“No, never. My family tends to hang out in the downtown Dallas and Northpark area. But I think I like it here better.” A couple sat on a nearby bench, drinking coffee and laughing. “It feels quaint and friendly. Dallas has a pretentious crowd that can make you feel out of place, if you know what I mean.”
“I know exactly what you mean. I’ve never hung out in Dallas, but we definitely had places like that back in Louisiana.”
We crossed the street to the main area where a thirty-foot Christmas tree stood. Thousands of white lights, along with big, red balls and snowflakes, decorated the tree. Large, fake gingerbread houses and boxes wrapped like presents surrounded the stately Douglas fir. “It’s so beautiful.”
“Just like you.” Raven squeezed me tighter.
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Thank you.” He totally knew how to push all of the right buttons. “Now, it feels like Christmas. Thank you for bringing me here.”
He glanced at me. “Were you not in the Christmas spirit?”
Shaking my head, I responded, “Not really. Since I missed Thanksgiving dinner, it didn’t seem like the holidays.”
“And now it does?”
“Most definitely.”
“Good.” Raven smiled and placed a soft peck on my forehead. “So, is there anything on that list of yours that you’d like to do?”
“Um, well, I haven’t thought much about that list to be honest with you.” I didn’t want to lie to him, so I felt honesty was the best answer. Even though I had thought about him a lot, I hadn’t given much attention to the list after he had told me that he couldn’t be with me. “Besides, I
thought you said we’d make it up as we went along.” I elbowed him in the ribs.
“I did say that, didn’t I?” An impish grin formed on his face and I couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his head. “Hey, I have an idea. Have you ever been ice skating?” Raven turned to the large outdoor ice rink behind us.
The suggestion sounded fun but knowing my lack of coordination, I saw disaster spelled in big letters. Families and couples circled around the large rink while the less coordinated ones hovered in the center or along the walls. I knew I’d be the one stuck in the middle. “A long time ago.”
“Then, let’s do it.” Raven urged me forward and I took a step back.
“Oh, I don’t know.” I tucked my hair behind my ear to keep it from whirling around my face. “I know I won’t be able to balance myself.”
“I promise I won’t let you fall.” He grabbed my hands and started taking slow strides backwards. “Come on, Lexi. You know you want to go skating with me.” He winked, teasing me. “I won’t take no for an answer.”
“But I thought you said you wouldn’t do anything unless I asked you to.”
Raven stopped and took a step toward me. “I was referring to other things.” He leaned closer and nuzzled me along my neck, making my body tense and then relax.
“Oh, okay. I’ll have to remember that,” I said, in between laughs, though I doubted that I would forget. If he gave me the chance, I’d be telling him all the things I wanted him to do to me.
“If you really don’t want to, we don’t have to.” Raven stopped his contagious flirting, but it didn’t help. I was already sucked in by his charm. Part of me wanted to let go and not worry about making a fool of myself, but the other part reminded me that it would be dangerous. That I could fall and hurt myself. The more I listened to that other part, the more I realized it was Collin’s voice I heard.
Blinking a few times, I managed to turn off that nagging voice. “No. I want to. Let’s have some fun.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, let do it.”
“Cool. This is going to be fun.” Raven led me toward the rink and my mind shifted between excitement and fear. I prayed that I wouldn’t bust my butt and make an idiot of myself.