The Same Side (University Park #2)

by CM Doporto

  I continued to keep a tight lip. Not having anything to say to her. When I didn’t move away from the window, she said, “I thought you might want to read this.”

  I turned when I saw her hand my phone to me. Had something changed in her heart? Was she willing to accept the fact that I had chosen to be with Raven? A flutter of hope lifted my spirits and I slowly crawled toward her. I extended a shaky arm and took the piece of equipment I had been dying to get a hold of the past two days. The phone displayed a message from Raven and I blinked a few times, making sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me.

  Sitting on the back of my legs, I began reading his text message:

  Raven: Lexi, I’m so sorry that I got you in trouble with your parents. I never intended for anything like this to happen. That was the last thing I wanted and I definitely don’t want to come between you and your family. That’s why it’s best if we go our separate ways.

  My throat tightened and a lump formed at the back of my throat. My eyes stung and quickly filled with tears. Was Raven breaking up with me? I scrolled through the message, making sure it was from him and not some trick my mom was playing on me. After verifying what number it came from, I returned to reading the message.

  I knew all along that you were too good for me and it would never work out for us. I’m sorry I strung you along but the truth is, I can never walk away from the lifestyle I miss and love. You’re better off without me. Like I said, I’ll destroy you and I don’t want to be responsible for that, so go back to Collin because he’s the one for you. I hope you have a wonderful life and take care.

  The weight of the phone increased and my hand hit the floor. My shoulders slumped forward and the tears poured from my eyes. The words repeated in my head, clouding over me and causing me to go completely numb. Everything I had been holding on to was completely gone. Raven wasn’t coming for me. He didn’t want to be with me. With one message, he had ended our relationship.

  Raven and I were no more.

  He had left me, again.

  “I’m sorry, darling. If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.” My mom gave me a gentle smile as if saying she knew it all along.

  I stared past her, not knowing what to do or say. Everything Raven and I shared together — was it a lie? Was it all make believe? The promises, the memories, the love, were they even real? I hated myself for being so vulnerable and reckless. And to think, I gave my virginity to him. But he tossed it out the door, as if I were another one of his hoes.

  The Raven’s trap had destroyed me and I’d never be the same again. Ever.

  Σ

  Chapter 18

  Christmas came and went and I was in complete and utter shock. I barely ate, barely slept, and cried day and night. I hated life and truly wanted God to take me. But I had no one to blame but myself. I knew what Raven was about and I knew he was trouble from the first day I met him at the writing lab. But, I fell for his contagious smile, his charming personality, and his hot and sexy body, just like every other girl he seduced. I was no different than Macy, the Silicone Triplets, or Reece. We were all victims to The Raven’s trap and addicted to him like a drug we had to have and couldn’t live without.

  “Lex, are you going to get dressed? It’s already five.” Delaney struggled to zip up her dress. I motioned for her to come to me so I could help her. My parents were having a big New Year’s Eve party so I invited her because I knew she wanted to spend time with Luke. However, all I wanted to do was stay locked up in my room forever. I didn’t even care to go back to school because I knew that everything would remind me of Raven and Collin and that was the last thing I wanted or needed.

  “Put it on so we can go and eat.” She handed me a black jumpsuit with a velvet top that my mom had bought me.

  “Okay, I’ll get dressed.” I tossed my long waves over my shoulder. If it weren’t for Delaney, my hair and makeup wouldn’t have been done and I would’ve settled for the au natural look with a messy bun. I had no one to impress and didn’t care how I looked.

  “Have you tried to call him?” Delaney handed me my brand new stacked heels. I sighed when I looked at them. They were the ones I had bought when I went Christmas shopping with Raven. Why did everything have to remind me of him?

  I nodded and pressed my lips together, trying to repress the tears that once again, threatened to take over my life. “Yeah, but he doesn’t respond.” I stuffed my feet in my shoes, hoping that I’d break a heel and have to trash them. “I text him daily, but I get nothing in response.” I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, knowing what I had to do. “I just need to move on, that’s all there is to it. It’s over.”

  Delaney dug around in my jewelry box and handed me a set of gold bangles and a long necklace that had a tassel on the end. “I just find it hard to believe that he’s willing to end it… just like that.” she motioned for me to turn around, “I think there’s more to it.”

  “I doubt it.” I tucked the silver dove underneath my clothes, refusing to remove it, and adjusted the long chain against my velvet top. She handed me a pair of earrings and I put them on. “I mean, this is the second time he’s told me that we don’t belong together.” I sighed, trying not to recall the conversation at the football stadium and the text message. “I just need to accept the truth and forget about him.”

  “But why are you still wearing the necklace he gave you.” She cocked a brow. “Huh?”

  I shrugged and turned away, slightly regretting that I’d told her everything that happened while I was with him. From the great sex to us playing in the snow, to our little Star Wars Christmas tree, and the near drug incident, I’d spilled my guts to her and cried and cried until there was not a drop left in me. And she held me, like a good friend was supposed to until I was somewhat better. Raven had definitely brought me and Delaney closer, even though I wished it was him instead of her.

  “Hey, I’ve got a surprise!” She shuffled to her bag and pulled out the familiar white liquor bottle. “This will help take away all your sadness.”

  I looked at the bottle and turned away. Even that reminded me of Raven. “Maybe I like feeling sad. Let’s me know I’m still alive.”

  “What? You gotta be kidding me.” She plummeted to my bed. “No one likes feeling depressed. And I definitely miss my new roommate.”

  “Yeah, I miss her, too.” I checked my phone, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Raven had sent me a message. As expected, nothing had been received. What he was doing? Was he getting ready to go out? Had he already been drinking and partying with his friends? Had he resorted back to screwing his hoes and snorting his drugs? The thoughts sent shivers up my back and I didn’t want to think the unthinkable.

  “I think we need to find her again.” Delaney showed me the bottle through the mirror, hugging it like it was sacred or golden to her.

  I let out a half smile. “Maybe later. But you better hide it in my closet. If my parents find it, they’ll kick you out.”

  Delaney jumped off the bed and darted to my closet.

  “Damn, that was fast.” I turned around as she closed my closet door.

  “What do you expect?” She adjusted her skirt and fixed her hair. “I haven’t seen your brother since the week before Christmas. I’m dying for a piece of his ass.”

  “Ewww.” I covered my ears and said, “I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.” I repeated it over and over again, not wanting to hear what she wanted to do with my brother.

  She shook her head. “Okay, I’ll stop.”

  I uncovered my ears. “Thank you.”

  She grabbed my hand and led us out of my room. We went downstairs and were promptly greeted by a room full of family and friends. Soft holiday music played in the background and the room sparkled with tiny white lights strung around the stairwell, arches, and posts. Garland decorated the house and several Christmas trees in a variety of sizes were still up. The smell of rich, food wafted in the air and a wave a nausea hit me.

  “Oh, wow.
That smells so good.” Delaney inhaled deeply like she hadn’t eaten in days.

  My stomach tightened and I felt the rise of bile in my throat. I covered my mouth and swallowed a few times, trying to dissipate the sick taste. A waiter appeared and offered appetizers along with alcohol free punch.

  “No thanks.” I turned my head when he held the tray up to me.

  Delaney took several crackers with slices of smoked salmon that had white stuff speckled with green. The look of it made me want to barf. I grabbed a glass of punch and downed it just in time.

  “Is it that good?” she teased as she picked up a glass and sipped the light colored liquid. “How boring.” She rolled her eyes. “But I know how to make it ten times better.”

  The waiter looked at both of us suspiciously before walking off.

  “What’s wrong with you?” I elbowed her. “Do you want someone to hear you?”

  “Sorry.” She put on a fake smile and then walked to the living room where my parents lingered among the crowd of people. I knew she was trying to make a good impression so when she and Luke finally told them they were together, they’d accept her. Based on the comments my mom had made, I knew she had some work cut out for her if they were going to be okay with her dating their son.

  I visited with a few of my aunts and uncles, catching up with them. Most of them lived in California, where my dad was originally from, and some lived in the area. I steered clear of my sister’s husband, Ryan. He held a captive audience as he bragged about his law firm. It was sickening, to say the least. After an hour of torture, I finally decided I had had enough. Luke and Delaney had magically disappeared and I didn’t want to be forced to say anything in case my parents caught them.

  I walked up the stairs but instead of going to my room, I headed to the game room. My niece and nephew were in there, along with several of my younger cousins and a few other kids from my parent’s friends. My sister’s nanny and one of other girl were playing games with some of the kids, while the older ones competed with each other on one of Luke’s video games. And again, it reminded me of Raven. Why couldn’t I stop thinking about him? Why did everything have to be a trigger?

  I collapsed into the recliner and kicked off my shoes, pulling my feet underneath me. It didn’t take long for my niece, Payton, to crawl into my lap. Her curly blonde hair and stark blue eyes made the four-year-old girl simply adorable. As I watched her play with her baby doll, my mind conjured up images of Raven and me with baby. Who would they look like? Would they have dark, wavy hair like him? Would their eyes be brown like mine, or hazel like his? I felt my eyes water and I quickly reminded myself that that would never happen. I held on to my niece, rocking her until we both fell asleep.

  “Lexi,” my mom called and I slowly opened my eyes.

  “Here, I’ll take her,” the nanny said, taking Payton from my arms.

  “Are you feeling okay?” My mom touched my forehead and I placed the back of my hand on my cheek.

  “Yes.” I blinked a few times. “Just tired, that’s all.”

  Her lips parted in a perfect smile, but I knew it wasn’t genuine. I could see it in the depths of her eyes and feel it in the pit of my stomach. “Its ten-thirty. We decided that we’re going to bring in the New Year early.”

  I stretched and shifted, trying to work out the stiffness in my back. “Why would you do that?”

  “There are a few people who want to leave early.” She rearranged my hair and I eased to the side, trying to get away from her hand. I didn’t want her touching me. “No to mention, the streets are dangerous after midnight.” Mom really wasn’t a big fan of driving on New Year’s Eve after she’d been in an accident when we were younger. I didn’t remember much since Luke and I were only eight at the time, but it left a big scar on both her and my dad. They didn’t talk about it — they pretty much avoided it like the big elephant in the room — so everyone just kept quiet, pretending like it never happened.

  “So, we’re going to pretend its Eastern Standard Time?” I asked.

  “You got it.” She continued fixing my hair and I searched her eyes, trying to uncover her true motive. “And I would like for you to play Auld Lang Syne on the piano.”

  A pain struck the center of my chest and I felt my heart begin to crumble. The notes from the music I played for Raven echoed loudly inside my head, making me scream internally. They crashed into each other, clanging and banging until they stirred up every memory. Playing the piano was the last thing I wanted to do. It reminded me too much of Raven and how we had sang to one another. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. It was too soon.

  “Um, I don’t know, Mom.” I pushed her hand away and got up from the chair. “I haven’t played that song in a while and it’s not like I can go and practice with everyone downstairs.” I put my shoes on and headed out of the game room. She quickly followed me.

  “Lexi, it’s only a couple of chords.” Her voice deepened and I knew what she was about to say. “I know you can do it.”

  “But, I don’t want to play.” I turned around and faced her. “Not tonight.”

  “Lexi Ann Thompson,” her eyes narrowed and her hands flew to her hips, “I’m not asking you to play, I’m telling you to play.”

  I felt my blood pressure rise and I took a deep breath. “Mom, please—”

  “Olivia, Lexi, can you please come down stairs? Some guests have arrived.”

  Gritting my teeth together, I unwillingly agreed. “Fine.” I stomped down the stairs like a kid, pissed that I’d given in to her request. I hated being at home and I wanted to leave, but I had nowhere to go. I flew down the stairs so fast that I didn’t see the group of people standing near the entrance. “Sorry,” I said as I avoided a near collision. “I… um—” My breath hitched and my eyes froze. Standing in front of me was Collin and his parents.

  “Hello, Lexi, it’s good to see you.” Pastor Clifton extended his hand and I stared at it for a few seconds.

  My mom elbowed me and I stuck out my hand. “Hi, nice of you to bring your family.” My voice clashed with the words I spoke, but I didn’t care. The Norris’ were the last group of people I wanted to see. Especially Collin.

  I shook Suzanne’s hand and then gave a quick wave to Collin. What the hell was I supposed to do? This was more than awkward and totally sucked.

  “You look beautiful, as always,” Collin said and I had to keep from rolling my eyes at him. It was a little too late for him to play Mr. Nice Guy. He had his chance and totally blew it.

  “Lexi, why don’t you get Collin something to drink?” my mom offered.

  The words why don’t you do it neared the edge of my tongue, but I held them back. I narrowed my eyes at her, knowing that she had invited them. I hated to think of what else she had planned for the night.

  Reluctantly, I said, “Come on.” Collin followed me in silence and I was glad. I really had nothing to say to him and seeing him only made things worse for me.

  “How have you been?” he asked as I poured him a glass of punch.

  Was he serious? We hadn’t spoken since I told him it was over. Why did he want to know now? I was certain that my mom had told him what had happened and he was just being cordial, so I did what I was raised to do. I answered, “Alive, last time I checked.”

  “Oh, I see.” He took the drink from my hand and his fingers brushed across mine. His eyes searched my face and I saw a sadness I’d never seen before. His lips parted and I could tell that he wanted to say something to me. I waited, giving him yet another opportunity, but he pressed his lips together and remained silent. Nothing had changed.

  I really didn’t want to engage in conversation with him because I was still angry at him for not fighting for our relationship. Yet, a part of me almost felt sorry for him. After the break, I hadn’t tried to contact him or even check on him. Maybe it was wrong of me and I should have — after all, we had known each other forever — but I honestly felt like he should’ve been the one calling and begging me back
. Since he never did that, I did what I had to do and moved on. And showing up at my house on New Year’s Eve wasn’t the answer. Especially since I was trying to get over Raven. The last thing I needed was old feelings for him to resurface, too.

  I crossed my arms and leaned against the kitchen bar, deciding to show him some courtesy and praying I wouldn’t regret it. “What about you, how have you been?”

  His eyes lifted as he sipped his punch. It was as though he was waiting for me to open that door for him. “Getting by.”

  His remark told me he had so much more to say, but I didn’t want to hear it. Maybe because I feared what he might tell me? I turned around, poured myself half a glass of punch, and downed it. I really needed some alcohol to get me through the night. I considered refilling my glass and going straight to my closet. Delaney was right — being depressed sucked and I needed to get on with my life. A little liquid encouragement might just do the trick.

  “How were finals?” He broke the silence and I did a double take, making sure I heard him correctly.

  Shrugging, I said, “Okay. I guess.”

  “I didn’t see you in Spanish class, what happened?”

  I stared at the small circle of punch at the bottom of my glass. Tilting my glass, I swirled the liquid around, contemplating if I should tell him the truth or make something up. Maybe he’d see that calling it off wasn’t that easy for me. After all, what did I have to lose? Raven had dumped me, so I knew how he felt. Karma’s a bitch reverberated in my ears.

  “Um, I dropped the class.”

  Collin coughed a few times, clearing his throat. “You did what?”

  I waved a dismissive hand in the air, like it was no big deal. “I took an incomplete.”