Bonkers

by Michelle Holman

  However, she decided that she did like the pretty, lacy underwear she found in Linda’s lingerie drawers. It was so feminine and beautiful she would have defied any woman to not be seduced into wearing it. She’d experienced a momentary sense of revulsion in the hospital at the thought of wearing another woman’s knickers until she reminded herself that they were the knickers this body had worn all along. Unfortunately she had always had major problems with G-strings and Linda Brogan seemed to have worn nothing else. Sherry always made fun of Lisa and her old-fashioned bikini knickers, shouting, ‘Oh my God!’ at the top of her lungs, preferably in a supermarket or the middle of a shopping mall, ‘You’ve got VPL!’

  ‘Shut up!’ Lisa would hiss, itching to slap her sister’s smug face. ‘I’d rather have Visible Panty Line than put up with my bum being flossed by a bloody G-string.’

  The few times she’d worn a G-string, Lisa had been forever plucking at her backside trying to rearrange the damned thing. Invariably it was when a man was standing behind her watching the entire show. The thought of inadvertently treating Dan Brogan to one of her clandestine performances made her cringe. From the disapproving way he’d been treating her since she asked for a beer the night before, he wouldn’t find it remotely amusing.

  When she at last hopped into the lounge to meet him, she was wearing a pair of white, wide-legged trousers that concealed her cast and rode low on her hips and a soft blue tank-top with a loose-sleeved white shirt over the top. She’d brushed her long, dark swathe of hair into a ponytail and left off wearing any makeup apart from some lip-gloss.

  Dan merely nodded when he saw her. Putting his book aside, he got to his feet, his expression remote. ‘Ready?’

  Lisa nodded back, feeling deflated. It was the first time she would be going out since she’d left the hospital and she had been feeling a childish excitement. It would have been nice if Dan had said something pleasant about her appearance.

  The sun was shining warmly. Autumn in Auckland was often one of the best seasons. The humidity and heat of summer had passed and, although the evenings were growing colder, the days were generally bright and sunny.

  Once again, Lisa noticed that Dan took a long route to avoid driving past the scene of the accident. In the supermarket, he pushed the shopping trolley while she limped alongside, noticing the looks he drew from women as they walked by. Dan remained completely oblivious. When they reached the aisle with the jams, he picked up a black plastic container with a red lid and held it up for Lisa to see. ‘This stuff?’

  She shook her head. ‘That’s Marmite. I want Vegemite.’ Hopping forward she picked up another black container with a different lid and held it up. ‘See?’

  Dan looked between the containers. ‘They both look like black stuff to me.’

  ‘Not to me.’

  Lisa was surprised to discover he had a sweet tooth. ‘Who are all the lollies for?’ she asked as he loaded various chocolate bars and packets of sweets into the cart.

  ‘Me,’ Dan replied firmly. ‘And you mean candy.’

  ‘No. I mean lollies.’

  ‘S’cuse me, love,’ a small woman with two toddlers sitting in the front of her trolley said to Dan. She looked like a grandmother babysitting for the day. ‘Would you mind getting me a bottle of that honey, please? I can’t reach.’

  Dan and Lisa both turned to look at where she was pointing at the top shelf. Lisa took great delight in beating Dan to the bottle of honey. ‘Here you go.’ She beamed at the woman as she passed the honey over.

  ‘Thanks, love.’

  Lisa was still smiling like an idiot when Grandma had trundled off.

  ‘Would you like some honey, too?’ Dan asked dryly. ‘You look like you’re either going to begin singing or crying with joy.’

  She gave him a satisfied smile. ‘Don’t you just love being tall?’

  Once again she’d manage to confound him: where the hell was the conversation leading this time? ‘I guess,’ he agreed at last. ‘I’ve never known any different.’

  ‘I have.’ She limped off along the aisle, humming.

  That was about the time that Dan decided he needed an appointment with Craig Fergusson.

  After they’d finished the shopping, Lisa dragged her crutches heading back to the car. Dan could see the pleasure the sunshine and fresh air was giving her. On impulse, he asked her if there was anything else she wanted to do.

  Her cheeks went pink with pleasure. ‘Can we go look at books and then the pet shop and then maybe we could get a coffee?’

  Dan didn’t think that he could take many more shocks.

  Linda never but never wanted to visit a bookshop, for obvious reasons. Dan, who loved to read, made it a rule to do all of his book buying when he was alone. Linda had liked animals as much as the next person, but he couldn’t recall her ever choosing a visit to the pet shop over a visit to a clothes shop, makeup bar or sports-equipment shop.

  ‘Damn,’ he murmured, shaking his head slowly.

  Lisa’s face fell. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘No, Lisa, it’s not that we can’t do all those things, but that’s quite a list,’ he lied. ‘I don’t want you overdoing things on your first day out.’

  Her expression turned pleading. ‘Please, please let me overdo it, Uncle Dan!’ she wheedled. ‘It’s so nice to be outside, and I promise to lie down for an hour when we get back to your house.’

  Her reference to your house didn’t go unnoticed, but he wisely refrained from commenting.

  They visited two pet shops and oohed and ahhed over the puppies and kittens. Dan was bitten by Snowy the white cockatiel when he foolishly put his finger through the wires. ‘Oow!’

  ‘Sucker!’ Lisa crowed, laughing her head off.

  ‘He asked for a scratch!’ Dan complained, shaking his finger.

  ‘See the sign?’ She pointed to the white cardboard notice attached to the side of the cage warning people that Snowy liked to bite.

  Dan felt his stomach clench. How had she been able to read the black, hand-printed sign?

  ‘You’ve been in here before?’ he asked with forced casualness.

  ‘I usually visit the pet shops when I’m in Browns Bay.’

  Dan nodded slowly. ‘Now you want to go to the bookshop?’

  ‘Yes, please.’

  In the bookshop across the road, she was immediately drawn to a table advertising five books for twenty dollars. ‘Look! Five for twenty bucks!’

  Dan was once again astonished that she had managed to read the sign. He watched her sort through the books and select a few, turning them over and frowning at the back.

  She eventually looked up and smiled ruefully. ‘I think I’ll have to work my way up to this. It’s a shame because they’re such a bargain. Do you want to look for yourself?’

  Linda had never cared about a bargain. If something was cheap or half-price, she automatically turned her nose up at it. After years of buying her clothes in sales and being forced to make ends meet, she said she never intended to purchase anything for half-price again.

  Linda had always been a high-maintenance woman right from the moment Dan had purchased her wedding dress. He didn’t consider himself to be a poor man, but he definitely wasn’t rich either, although he earned a living far in excess of what his father had made as a construction worker. Dan wouldn’t have begrudged Linda the money she spent on clothes and cosmetics if they’d made her happy, but they only did for a little while. His own needs were fairly basic. He wasn’t a huge fan of clothes. He didn’t gamble or drink a lot. As long as he could work and play some sport, he was pretty content. With nobody else but Linda to support, he didn’t see why she shouldn’t be able to spend what he earned, provided they made good investments for their future.

  The woman he was with today was nothing like his wife. Dan watched as she looked at the books in her hands. He knew the exact moment it dawned on her that she didn’t have any money of her own to buy them. Flushing, she dropped the books back onto the table.


  ‘You can have them if you want,’ he urged, feeling that odd tenderness she managed to stir in him.

  ‘No.’ She shook her head and smiled airily. ‘But don’t let me stop you if you want to have a look. I could see by the mess in your bedroom that you love reading. I don’t mind waiting.’

  She went to look at the greetings cards.

  Dan felt his chest tighten as he watched her. Turning back to the table, he scooped up the books she’d been looking at and some for himself, before going in search of her. A part of him was shell-shocked to be buying books for Linda.

  She was in the self-help section, frowning at the back of another book, her lips moving as she sounded out the words. She jumped when Dan ducked his head to get a look at the cover and pushed it back into the others on the shelf.

  Dan’s lips parted in shock.

  The book was one he’d read in the past about dyslexia entitled Smart But Feeling Dumb. He felt the sweat break out on his brow. Who was this woman?

  12

  Lisa sensed a change in Dan when they left the bookshop. He looked at her as if he were seeing her for the very first time.

  ‘How about that coffee?’ he asked at last. ‘Are you hungry?’

  ‘Yes.’ She eyed him warily. ‘Starving, in fact.’

  They dawdled over their coffee. Dan ate two chocolate muffins while Lisa munched her way through chicken risotto cakes with salad.

  ‘How do you not get fat?’ she asked in amazement.

  He shrugged. ‘Just lucky, I guess. My brother’s the same.’

  ‘You have a brother?’

  ‘Yes. He’s a couple years younger than I am. His name’s Glenn.’

  ‘Oh.’ Folding her arms on the table, Lisa watched him curiously. ‘Is he as tall as you?’

  He swallowed some muffin. ‘Taller.’

  ‘You’re joking!’

  ‘Nope. He used to play pro basketball.’

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘Bummed his knee. Anterior cruciate and medial ligament damage.’

  Lisa rolled her eyes. ‘In English, please.’

  Dan smiled and wiped his mouth on a napkin. ‘Bummed his knee,’ he said again. ‘He’s coaching now.’

  She tilted her head. ‘Did you ever play?’

  ‘At high school and college, but I was never as good as Glenn.’

  ‘Did you mind?’

  He seemed amused by her bluntness. ‘Maybe when I was younger, but I always wanted to be a doctor. Sport was—no, sport is a passion for Glenn. We’re complete opposites. He’s a real extrovert.’ Dropping his screwed-up napkin onto his plate, he mirrored her by leaning on his folded arms. ‘I think we’re both proud of what the other one has achieved. Anyway, he’s my kid brother and I love him.’

  Lisa smiled so sweetly he felt his breath hitch in his chest. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I know what you mean.’

  They were silent for a few minutes.

  ‘How old are you, Dan?’ she asked suddenly.

  ‘Thirty-six. Why?’

  She shrugged and shook her head. ‘Nothing. I just wondered.’ She paused and asked cautiously, ‘I’m twenty-seven. Right?’

  He shook his head, feeling uneasy when he recalled he’d heard that the girl who had died in the accident had been twenty-seven. ‘Try again.’

  ‘Twenty-six?’

  ‘Other way.’

  ‘Twenty-eight?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘What?’ she gasped. ‘Twenty-nine?’

  Dan nodded, his eyes crinkling with amusement. ‘But not for much longer.’

  ‘Oh crikey!’ Lisa looked appalled. ‘When am I supposed to turn thirty?’

  ‘June 6.’

  ‘Oh! Bloody hell!’ She flung herself back in her chair, looking thoroughly pissed off. Her own birthday wasn’t until the end of next February when she would have turned twenty-eight. She’d lost two years as well as her real birthday. ‘That’s not fair! Bloody George!’

  ‘Who’s George?’ Dan asked, the laughter fading rapidly from his eyes.

  ‘You don’t want to know,’ she muttered.

  Dan decided she was probably right. If she told him something else that didn’t make any sense, his head would explode. And if he stuck with what logic dictated and remembered this was Linda, the prospects weren’t any better. With Linda’s recent track record he probably didn’t want to know who George was at all. He climbed abruptly to his feet. ‘Come on. We’d better be going.’

  Lisa looked up at him in bewilderment. ‘What’s wrong? What’d I say?’

  ‘Nothing,’ he lied. ‘I’d just like to get home now. I have things I need to do.’

  ‘Oh,’ she murmured. ‘Sorry.’

  He felt like a heel watching her struggle to her feet, her happy smile gone.

  As they made their way slowly across the supermarket car park, she made Dan feel even worse by thanking him for the coffee and morning out. ‘It was nothing,’ he replied brusquely. ‘I had to come out anyway.’

  She nodded and kept her gaze averted, her entire concentration apparently focused on managing her crutches.

  A stunning young woman wearing bright-red hipster pants and a white crop-top stepped off the kerb in front of the supermarket. Dan judged her to be almost six feet tall. She carried herself like a queen, shoulders back, head held erect on her long neck. Her long, dark hair swung about her shoulders, lipstick-red toenails peeped from slim, red sandals. The low-slung pants and short, sleeveless top revealed a taut, flat abdomen and toned arms. She easily carried a bag of shopping in each hand. Dan decided the lady definitely worked out.

  She suddenly noticed Dan on the opposite side of the roadway and frowned at him as if she were trying to place him. This happened to Dan occasionally, as it had the night before. The relatives of a child he had operated on would recognize him even if he didn’t always remember them—although he never forgot any of the kids.

  But this was different. The look of confusion on her face lasted a split second before she transferred her gaze to Lisa, her expression hardening into one of such loathing that Dan reflexively put his arm in front of her.

  Beside him Lisa gasped and ground to a halt. When Dan looked he was alarmed to see her staring across the road at the woman in the red pants. ‘Sherry!’ she cried.

  Dan looked from Lisa’s radiant face to the shocked one of the other girl who had stepped further onto the road. ‘Lisa?’ he began. ‘Who—?’

  ‘How do you know my name?’ the other girl demanded hostilely. ‘It was you, wasn’t it? You’re the one who called my parents!’

  Lisa looked stricken to her very soul. ‘Sherry, it’s me! It’s Lisa!’ she cried.

  Dan was alarmed at how pale she had become, and he only just managed to grab her arm to stop her rushing headlong into the line of cars entering the supermarket car park. He felt utterly confused. What the hell was going on here?

  Lisa struggled desperately to free herself. ‘Don’t! Let me go!’

  They were holding up the flow of traffic. Drivers were starting to honk their horns and shout.

  Dan wrapped his hands around Lisa’s upper arms and shook her once hard when she raised her hands to fight him off. ‘Lisa!’ he snapped. ‘We have to move.’

  ‘No!’ She jerked away from him, craning her head to look around him at the other woman, who was standing like a statue, her eyes blazing. She seemed oblivious to the red car she was blocking. The driver, a middle-aged man, climbed out of the car looking furious.

  ‘Sherry, please believe me!’ Lisa implored. ‘I know it sounds crazy, but it’s me!’

  The bags fell from the woman’s hands, jars and loaves of bread spilling onto the asphalt. The driver of the red car paused midstride on his way towards her to stare in astonishment at the food strewn across the road.

  ‘You keep away from me and my family!’ the dark-haired girl shouted hoarsely. ‘Just keep away!’ Turning, she fled in the opposite direction.

  Dan grabbed Lis
a around the waist and pulled her back against him when she attempted to follow, his temper only just held in check. ‘Lisa!’

  She strained against him, yelling in a desperate voice, ‘Sherry! I know you! I know you hate spiders!’

  The woman’s step faltered.

  ‘Lisa!’ Dan was furious by now and hauled her roughly backwards. ‘Stop it!’

  She bucked against him, managing to kick him in the shin with her cast. ‘Hey Sherry! Who are the only women who wear scarves?’ she yelled.

  Sherry stopped. Slowly she turned her head and looked back at Lisa, a haunted expression on her lovely face.

  Dan watched her grimly. Linda or Lisa or whatever she wanted to call herself had finally lost it. ‘That’s enough!’ he growled.

  Lisa ignored him. ‘Bank clerks, checkout girls, air stewardesses and porn stars,’ she whispered brokenly across the black stretch of asphalt.

  Sherry’s lips parted in a gasp. She couldn’t have heard what Lisa said, but she seemed to have understood it because her face lost what little colour it had left. Convinced she was about to faint, Dan hauled Lisa against his hip and ran awkwardly towards the tall woman, dimly aware of Lisa’s crutches clattering to the ground behind them and the noise of car horns and abuse.

  Sherry pressed her fingers together in a pyramid over her nose, her eyes huge with shock. Dan was struck by the similarity in appearance between the two women. Both were tall and finely made with the same vivid colouring, although the stranger was several inches taller than Lisa and her eyes were a darker blue.

  They could almost have been sisters.

  The thought came and went again just as quickly. Dan’s priority was getting to the woman called Sherry before she fainted.