I Won't Give Up

by Sophie Monroe

 

  Copyright © 2012 by Sophie Monroe

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form

  or by any means electronic or mechanical, including

  photocopying, recording or any information storage and revival systems

  Without prior written permission from the author

  except where permitted by law

  The characters, places, and events portrayed in this book are fictitious.

  Any similarity to real persons living or dead is coincidental and

  not intended by the author.

  Contact:

  sophiemonroe007@hotmail.com

  The author acknowledges use of the following brands: The Gaslight Anthem, Capital Lights, P!nk, Patsy Cline, Coke, Audi, Ducati, Chevy, Kit-Kat, Vitamin Water, Diet Coke, Toyota, DiaperDude, Tiffany & Co., Dolce and Gabbana

 

  A special thanks to my BFF (you know who you are, Stef!) the one who reads

  all my work all over and over again offering insight and ideas.

  While also keeping me sane and encouraging

  me to keep going even when I feel like giving up.

  A special thanks to Capital Lights for letting me use their music!

  &

  To everyone that loves a good story!

 

  I Won’t Give Up

  Sophie Monroe

 

  Rewind…

  Two months, three days, nine hours, thirty-six minutes and fourteen seconds, ago…

  Fiona

  “I’m so glad that’s over!” I said grinning excitedly to my boyfriend Jack and best friend Casey. I was stoked that we finished our exams and school was out for the summer. Our senior summer I thought happily. I’ve been waiting three years for this and it was already shaping out to be the best yet. Jack leaned in kissing me passionately making me wanton; I’d get him later. The thought made me giddy.

  Jack was great, the very best boyfriend I could ever imagine. We’d been together for a little over two years. His family life was a lot like mine. His dad was a senator and his mom was a trophy wife. He was smart and athletic, damn did his body show it. I was looking forward to having him shirtless most of the summer. He played baseball, basketball, lacrosse but not football. He had planned on attending Cornell after graduation, I’d planned to go to NYU so I could be close to him.

  After he pulled out of the kiss I looked at Casey who was pea green with envy. She would find her own distraction later.

  “Ready to go shortcake?” Jack asked putting his arm around my shoulder. He had been calling me shortcake since junior high way before we even started dating and it just kind of stuck. He was 6’4” and me only 5’7”.

  “Definitely.” I grinned making my best cheese face and pulling him in for another kiss.

  “Oh get a room.” Casey laughed.

  “Oh I plan on it.” I said cheekily.

  “That’s awful cocky don’t you think.” She said causing me to burst out laughing and making Jacks face blush. I pulled his hand over towards where my car was parked.

  Jack opened my door before walking and climbing into the passenger’s side; he called my car “Sadie the Sardine” since every time he got in he felt like he was in a sardine can. My dad owned a bunch of car dealerships all across Tennessee and last year for my seventeenth birthday he gave me a white Audi TT that he had done with custom hot pink leather interior, I loved it! Even the lights in the dash lit up pink. I was definitely daddy’s little girl.

  I pulled out into traffic and started the journey back to my house where Jack would most likely eat us out of food; then he would most likely demand we go to dinner before heading to the field for the first kick off party of the summer. The drive from school only took about ten minutes. I pulled into our expansive five-car garage, which was most likely bigger than most people’s actual homes. We walked hand and hand to the front door while I fumbled for my house key. When we walked in I froze, I heard banging. It was odd since no one was supposed to be home. Jack tensed and pulled me behind him while walking around to see where the sound was coming from. Crash. Smash. Bang. What the hell was going on?

  More banging around it sounded like it was coming from upstairs.

  “Wait here.” Jack ordered while taking the stairs two at a time. I wanted to open my mouth to protest but nothing came out. Normally my mouth was very unfiltered almost like a volcano I just said the first thing that came to mind. Somehow I was at a loss for words and frankly scared shitless. I waited, I heard the noises stop and felt my heart rate accelerate, I was growing increasingly worried, did something happen to Jack. I couldn’t wait any longer I had to make sure he was okay. I headed cautiously up the stairs and saw my parent’s door wide open. Jack was sitting on the bed consoling my mom who was sobbing uncontrollably. Oh my god, what happened?

  “Mom.” I cried. I looked around the room, there was glass shattered everywhere, picture frames strewn across the room.

  “Mom, what happened? Did someone break in? Are you okay?” Panic was rising.

  “I’ll leave you two to talk.” Jack said before walking out the door closing it behind him.

  “Mom, please tell me what’s going on.” She finally looked at me, her hair normally perfectly styled and make-up meticulously applied was now a hot mess. Mascara was all over her tear streaked face and her hair looked like a haystack.

  “He’s gone.” She said flatly.

  “Who is?” I asked confused.

  “Your father, he’s gone.” Daddy. My heart sank and broke into a million pieces. I loved my daddy.

  “Oh my god mom. What happened?” I said and I couldn’t hold back once it registered. Was he in an accident, heart attack, I needed to know. I was too young to be thinking about these things.

  “I came home early from my bridge club, I wasn’t feeling well and…and…” She sobbed. “He was just finishing loading his truck… he’s left me.”

  “Mom, that doesn’t make any sense. Are you sure?” She nodded and pointed over towards his vast closet. I got up off the bed and carefully stepped around the broken remains before opening the door. It was empty. He left, he really fucking left. In that moment my hurt turned to anger. Here I thought he died but really he just left.

  “I just don’t know what I did.” She said, her voice breaking. I walked back over and pulled her into a hug.

  “Mom whatever this is, it had nothing to do with you!” My mom was an amazing person and she’s gorgeous.

  “Honey, I need to be alone for a little while. Why don’t you go find Jack? I’ll be fine.” I watched as she crawled into her bed fully clothed, pulled a pillow to her chest and continued to sob.

  “I’m here if you need anything mom, just ask.” I closed the door behind me taking a deep breath I headed back down the hallway to my room where Jack was waiting. He seemed standoffish. I guess I would be to I’m sure he doesn’t know what to say, I don’t even know what to say or think.

  “Hey.” I said trying to break the ice.

  “Hey.” He replied. He pulled me into an awkward hug, not like the one he had given me only an hour earlier.

  “So you know?” I asked. He nodded his head.

  “Think he’ll come back?” He asked.

  “I have no idea. I don’t even know why he left in the first place.”

  “I do.” He said and I looked up at him shocked. “Gigi.” He didn’t need to elaborate anymore it all made perfect sense now.

  “Listen I called Hunter to come pick me up I figured you’d want to be alone for a bit. Plus I didn’t think you’d be up to going out later and I don’t want to miss the first party of
the summer.” He said shrugging. What the fuck!

  “My dad just left and you thought I’d want to be alone! I need you now more than I’ve ever needed you. Can you call Hunter back and tell him to come get you later maybe.” I yelled.

  “Fiona, I think it’s best for both of us to see other people. I’ve been feeling this way for a while now and with everything that just happened I know it needs to be done. I don’t want to be part of the scandal and frankly my dad doesn’t need to be part of this either. I’ll see you around.” Just like that he turned and left leaving me alone and in agony. Two of the most important people in my life just left, what was I supposed to do now. I picked up my phone and dialed the one person I trusted more than anyone. He answered on the first ring.

  “Luke.” I cried. I didn’t even need to say anything else.

  “I’m on my way.” He replied.

 

  Rewind

  Three months, three weeks, one day, eleven hours, nineteen seconds ago..

  Cooper

  Hit him!

  Go for the left!

  Go for the kill!

  Knock him the fuck out already!

  I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I looked at my alarm clock it was 8:17 on a Saturday. I really wanted more sleep. More like I needed more sleep.

  “Coop can I come in?” My dad asked. He’d been going through just as much lately and I knew I was part of the problem too.

  “Yeah come in.” As soon as he opened the door I knew what he’d come to say and I didn’t want to hear it. He sat down on the edge of them bed as I sat up.

  “She’s gone.” He said, tears streaming down his face.

  I felt so sad, hurt, angry… Why her? He pulled me into a hug as I felt tears start to sting my eyes. I wasn’t even eighteen yet; this isn’t fair. I’d made her a promise on her deathbed and I was going to try and keep it, it was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever have to do especially now with all these emotions stirring around in my head looking to get out.

  “I’ve phoned the medics, they’re on their way. We’ll have to go to the funeral home later today and make arrangements.” He said pulling me in tighter, I did the same. “We’re going to get through this. It’s just me and you now Coop.” He stood and walked out the door probably downstairs to the bedroom where my mother was now dead at the age of thirty-nine.

  I reluctantly got out of bed to head towards the shower, damn my ribs still hurt from that fight last week, I winced at the memory. I looked down at the still angry bruise that took up most of my left side. I grabbed some clean clothes from my closet and headed into the bathroom. I stood in the shower until the water ran cold then I stayed in a few minutes longer until I couldn’t stand there for another minute. I managed to get dressed in a daze.

  After my shower I walked downstairs where my dad was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee, I walked over a poured myself a cup and taking as seat next to him at the kitchen table.

  “Coop we need to talk.” He said looking at me intently.

  “What’s up?” I asked, I knew this look.

  “I know this is still very fresh but your mom and I were talking recently and we decided that it would be good for a change of scenery.” Wait, what?

  “Change of scenery Like a vacation or something?” I said.

  “No not a vacation. Actually it’s already been taken care of.”

  “Dad. What are you talking about, I’m so confused.”

  “We decided it would be good to have a fresh start somewhere without the constant reminders.” He waved his hand around gesturing the house, the kitchen island where my mom was always standing with her funky aprons and making delicious treats. “Plus the other thing that was going on… I took care of it he agreed to leave you alone but I still think it’s best that we start with a clean slate.” He was hinting at all the fighting I’d been doing lately. “About a month ago we put the house on the market. It sold in two days but the couple buying the place already knew we couldn’t do anything until after… So we’re moving. We need to stick together through this okay.” I nodded I was confused but even more than that I was angry. This was my home.

  “She would have been so pissed at me this morning for crying like a baby.” I knew that was true and it made me smile a little. We sat in silence while we finished our coffee neither of us wanting to address the elephant in the room. Finally he broke the silence.

  “Well I guess we should go make the arrangements.” He walked to the sink and put his cup the dishwasher. We got into his Mustang Shelby and drove across town to the funeral home where my mother is most likely being prepped for her viewing, the thought made me sick to my stomach. My dad gave me a reassuring pat on the back and we headed in.

  “Kurt pleasure to see you again. I’m sorry it has to be under these circumstances.” The funeral director said holding his hand to my dad. He was a nice man and I knew he was the one that did the services for my grandparents too but today I wanted to punch him in the face.

  “Cooper you’ve grown, how tall are you now 6’2”?” I nodded. He turned his attention back to my dad. “Well as you know Holly and I made most of the arrangements already. Today you can go over everything and change anything. Or you can add anything we might have left out.” He led us to his office and pushed a manila folder over. My dad scanned through the contents before he pushed over the obituary. I felt a lump form in my throat as I read it over.

  Holly Michelle Kinley (Fontaine)

  3/16/1973 to 5/7/2012

  Holly Kinley, 39, passed away peacefully at her home, Saturday, May 7, 2012.

  Mrs. Kinley was born in Delaney, Tennessee to Mr. & Mrs. Dayton Fontaine where she’s resided her whole life.

  She’s survived by her husband of twenty years, Kurt, as well as her son Cooper Dayton, 17.

  She’s predeceased by her parents Dayton and Charlotte Fontaine also from Delaney, TN. Grandparents Noah and Evangeline Fontaine and Charles and Ivy Emerson.

  Viewing will be held on May 8 from 6-8 at the Locust Hill Funeral Home.

  In lieu of flowers please send donations to the breast cancer research foundation of your choice.

  I went from having a lump in my throat to feeling like it was closing up, I felt like I was being suffocated. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples wishing more than anything that this was just a horrible nightmare and I would wake up. The next two days were going to be pure hell. I drowned out the rest of the day, when we finally got home I went straight to bed.

  The next day at the funeral it seemed like the whole town showed up. The service was beautiful and light hearted, exactly what she would have wanted. When we arrived home I took my suit jacket off tossing it on the hand railing. My dad came in behind me, he reached in his suit pocket and handed me a letter. It was in my mom’s handwriting.

  “Take it to your room.” He said pulling me into a hug. “I love you Coop.” I dragged myself up the stairs, shutting the door behind me. I climbed into my bed and carefully pulled out the letter. Something fell on the floor, I’d worry about that later.

  Cooper,

  I know that since you’re reading this I am gone. I’m sure that dad has told you the plan for the future. I’m sorry we didn’t ask for your opinion but I truly think it’s for the best. Please don’t give him a hard time he needs to heal too. Lord knows part of me always wanted out of Delaney (insert eye roll). I want you to take this and find what makes you happy. Go on an adventure, be a free spirit, take risks (not too many and please nothing dangerous!) but you only have one life, so live it! Be happy, fall in love, and know I will always be watching over you. Everything’s going to be okay.

  I Love you so much my sweet boy, you will always be the best part of me.

  xoxo,

  Mom

  I reached down and picked up what had fallen. It was a check. A check for twenty-five thousand dollars.

  Our last conversation was still fresh on my mind. I was getting ready for bed
.

  “Cooper honey can you come here for a minute.” She called from the guest room that was set up downstairs. My dad moved her down there because she was getting too weak to do the stairs anymore. Before she got sick she looked like Audrey Hepburn and people told her that all the time. She was petite and had dark brown hair that almost could have passed for being black. Holly Kinley was the best mom I could imagine, she was strong and energetic. She had such a passion for life, always taking care of those around her. She was always cooking and baking for my dad and I. Her smile was my favorite. I walked into the guest room and she patted the bed next to her. Even though she was dying she was still beautiful.

  “Honey, is everything okay with you?” She asked sweetly. I wanted so badly to tell her no but I couldn’t bring myself to do that to her since she was trying so hard to be strong.

  “Yeah mom I’m fine, why?”

  “You just seem like you’re not like yourself anymore. I know this is really hard for you but it’s going to be okay, I promise.”

  “I can’t imagine life without you mom, it’s too hard.” I felt my eyes start to fill. She rubbed my arm soothingly.

  “You know there’s a quote that I really like by Galileo ‘I’ve loved the stars to fondly to be afraid of the dark.’ I’m not afraid honey. I’ll get to be with Granny and Pawpaw and I’ll watch over you always. I know it’s hard because it’s unknown but life goes on and you have a lot of life to live yet, you’re going to make me proud.” She looked at me with a sad smile and I could tell she was thinking about all the things she would be missing out on, graduations, my wedding, and grandchildren. “I love you Cooper, you’re a part of me, the best part.”

  “I love you too mom, so much.” We hugged and we cried. That was our good-bye.