We're Red, Weird, and Blue! What Can We Do?
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You should be careful doing online research, though, because anybody can put up a website and post any kind of information there, so you can’t be sure if the “facts” are true. At least with a book, a fact-checker at the publishing company made sure that the author didn’t just make up a bunch of stuff. Like, if Arlo said in this book that Grover Cleveland invented pajamas, the fact-checker would look it up. If he or she couldn’t find proof of that, we would have to take it out of the book.
And by the way, Grover Cleveland did not invent pajamas. Pajamas were invented in India and the Far East. Do you know how I know? I looked it up!
Now, I know you probably like to go online with your friends and search for dumb stuff like videos of cats playing the piano. But really, how many videos of cats playing piano can one kid watch? I’ve seen plenty of videos of cats playing pianos, and they’re pretty much all the same. The first few are funny, but then it gets boring after a while.
And let me clue you in on a little secret—CATS CAN’T PLAY THE PIANO. Oh, sure, they can put their little paws on the keys and make some noises. But that’s not the same as playing the piano! Why do so many kids waste so much time watching cats playing the piano? That’s what I want to know.
Hey, maybe that will be my next online research project!
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that you should stop watching dumb cat videos and look up more important stuff. You might learn something. Who knows? Maybe you’ll go to Harvard someday, like me.
Hey, maybe you and I will be in the same class at Harvard! Then we can be study buddies!
Okay, that’s all I have to say. I have to go now. I need to go look stuff up on my computer. Like why kids waste so much time watching videos of cats playing the piano. But on the next few pages, there are some cool puzzles and games about the presidents. Have fun.
Bye!
Andrea
FUN GAMES AND WEIRD WORD PUZZLES
LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF WORDS
Directions: Can you find these ten words from the story hidden in the messy jumble of letters below?
THE PEOPLE’S CROSSWORD
Directions: Use the clues below to fill in this crossword puzzle with answers from My Weird School: We’re Red, Weird, and Blue! What Can We Do?
ACROSS
2. The third prize for the Presidents’ Day Challenge is a trip to this place.
4. Ella Mentry School’s opponent.
6. The place where the sitting president lives.
7. There are eleven _______ in this book.
DOWN
1. Last name of the first president of the United States.
3. Fifty-seven people signed the Declaration of ____________.
5. What Mr. Porky sells.
7. What we flip to choose who goes first in a challenge.
THE GREAT AMERICAN WORD JUMBLE
Directions: The eight words below are all jumbled up! Can you put the letters in the correct order to uncover the words from the story?
HBUTTAB: ___________
VRHOOE: ___________
ETSTCNO: ___________
ROCCANO: ___________
CUTOINTOSNIT: ___________
VNIIARGI: ___________
QUOITNSE: ___________
SUHB: ___________
FOUR SCORE AND TEN MATCHES AGO
Directions: Each of the words or phrases in the list below matches one of the words on the next page. See if you can pair them up!
Dollar → ___________
Civil → ___________
Winning → ___________
Baskin- → ___________
Media → ___________
Oral → ___________
Bragging → ___________
Front → ___________
Super → ___________
A-MAZE-ING GRACE
Directions: A.J. and Andrea won a free trip to DizzyLand, the coolest place in the history of the world. Plus, they get to bring all their friends.
Now help them find their way there!
WORD SUMMIT
Directions: Words can do weird things when you scramble them! See how many smaller words you can make using the letters from these bigger words and phrases. Try to come up with at least ten new, smaller words for each!
Here’s an example:
MY WEIRD SCHOOL
1. Wool2. Dire3. Loom
MY WEIRD SCHOOL TRIVIA QUESTIONS
There’s no way in a million hundred years you’ll get all these answers right. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you! (Hint: all the answers to the questions below can be found in the My Weird School Special books, including this one.)
Q: WHAT MONTH DOES A.J. HATE?
A: February
Q: WHEN DID A.J. AND HIS FRIENDS FIRST COMPETE AGAINST DIRK SCHOOL?
A: During the Brain Games
Q: WHAT DOES ALEXIA USE TO GET AROUND?
A: A skateboard
Q: WHAT DOES “PRINGLE UP” MEAN?
A: To line up like Pringles
Q: WHAT TYPE OF ANIMAL DOES NEIL KEEP AS A PET?
A: A ferret
Q: WHO WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT TO USE EMAIL?
A: Bill Clinton
Q: WHO IS THE STAR OF THE DIRK SCHOOL TV STATION?
A: Morgan Brocklebank
Q: WHAT WAS ELLA MENTRY SCHOOL’S MEDIA CENTER FORMERLY KNOWN AS?
A: The library
Q: WHO LOVES TO DRESS UP AS FAMOUS PEOPLE IN HISTORY?
A: Mrs. Roopy
Q: WHAT DOES P.A.C. STAND FOR?
A: Principal Advisory Committee
Q: WHICH GROWN-UP AT ELLA MENTRY SCHOOL IS BALD?
A: Mr. Klutz
Q: WHAT SCHOOL DOES ANDREA WANT TO ATTEND WHEN SHE’S OLDER?
A: Harvard
Q: WHAT DOES MR. COOPER DO TO MAKE EVERYONE CALM DOWN?
A: Makes a peace sign
Q: WHOSE FACE IS ON THE FIVE-THOUSAND-DOLLAR BILL?
A: James Madison
Q: WHERE DOES A.J. WANT TO MOVE TO WHENEVER HE’S EMBARRASSED?
A: Antarctica to live with the penguins
Q: WHO IS EMILY’S FAVORITE PRESIDENT?
A: Abraham Lincoln
Q: WHICH OF A.J.’S FRIENDS WILL EAT ANYTHING, EVEN IF IT ISN’T FOOD?
A: Ryan
Q: WHAT SUBJECT IS MR. COOPER USUALLY TEACHING WHEN ANNOUNCEMENTS ARE MADE?
A: Math
Q: WHO DID A.J. WRITE HIS PRESIDENTS’ DAY ORAL REPORT ABOUT?
A: Benjamin Franklin
Q: WHO INVENTED THE TELEPHONE?
A: Alexander Graham Bell
ANSWER KEY
LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF WORDS
THE PEOPLE’S CROSSWORD
THE GREAT AMERICAN WORD JUMBLE
Bathtub
Hoover
Contest
Raccoon
Constitution
Virginia
Question
Bush
FOUR SCORE AND TEN MATCHES AGO
Lightning → round
Dollar → bill
Civil → war
Winning → team
Baskin- → Robbins
Media → center
Oral → report
Bragging → rights
Front → row
Super → Bowl
A-MAZE-ING GRACE
WORD SUMMIT
Here are a few of the many words you may have found.
THE WORLD OF DAN GUTMAN CHECKLIST
About the Author and Illustrator
Courtesy of Dan Gutman and Jim Paillot
DAN GUTMAN has written many weird books for kids. He lives with his weird wife in New York (a very weird place). You can visit him on his weird website at www.dangutman.com.
JIM PAILLOT lives in Arizona (another weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. Isn’t that weird? You can visit him on his weird website at www.jimpaillot.com.
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Copyright
MY WEIRD SCHOOL SPECIAL: WE’RE RED, WEIRD, AND BLUE! WHAT CAN WE DO? Text copyright © 2020 by Dan Gutman. Illustrations copyright © 2020 by Jim Paillot. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
www.harpercollinschildrens.com
Cover art © 2020 by Jim Paillot
* * *
Digital Edition JANUARY 2020 ISBN: 978-0-06-279686-8
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-279684-4 (pbk. bdg.)—ISBN 978-0-06-279685-1 (library bdg.)
* * *
1920212223PC/BRR10987654321
FIRST EDITION
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* That’s almost a million!
* That’s the first rule of throwing up.
* I don’t even know why you’re reading this one.
* Baines?! That’s a weird name.
* If you think we’ve overdone that joke, send your angry emails to idontcare@leavemealone.please.
* You can read about it in Miss Brown Is Upside Down!
* It must be tough to get change for that. “I’d like to buy a pack of gum. Can you change a five-thousand-dollar bill?”
* Ask your mom or dad if you can YouTube it. Or watch the TV show.
* I should get the Nobel Prize. That’s a prize they give out to people who don’t have bells.
* I guess that’s why everybody was always talking about cake.