Running From Love

by J. Nichole

  “Are you a Cardi fan?” I hear from my left.

  “Who isn’t a Cardi fan? If not for her music alone at least for her work ethic,” I respond before taking a sip of my margarita, slowly letting the liquid ease down my throat to prevent any brain freeze reactions.

  The guy, a few shades lighter than me, with a low fade and dressed in a grey suit nods his head. “I’ll agree she hustles hard.” He looks behind us at the crowd, growing larger since I’ve been here, and says, “Not sure how to dance to some of her songs though.”

  Shrugging my shoulders, I say, “Hers aren’t the only songs that aren’t dance mixes.” Although, the girls have requested a couple of Cardi’s songs to be in our routine. Still trying to figure out how we can make them work.

  He takes the last sip of his bourbon. With his empty glass on the bar he asks, “When they do play something we can groove to, save me…” His eyes wander behind me. I feel someone in my personal space before I turn around to see who caused this guy’s words to falter.

  “I think he was going to ask you to dance.” Aiden says with a grin on his face. I look from Aiden to the guy beside me who is watching me cautiously.

  “If they play something to groove to,” I say. He nods before straightening his suit jacket and walking away from the bar. “That was awkward.”

  Aiden shakes his head and says, “Not awkward at all.” He sits on a stool beside me. “You’re a sexy woman without a ring.” He looks behind us. “And folks are dancing.” He looks back at me and we stare at each other. “Why is that awkward?”

  “You’re right, it’s not awkward at all.” I smirk. “The dude I’m meeting up with walks up on me while a total stranger is asking me to dance.” Shrugging, I continue, “Not awkward at all.”

  Aiden laughs. “Okay, maybe a little awkward.” He points at my margarita and asks, “Is it good?”

  With the straw loosely in my mouth I say, “It is.” He orders a margarita for himself. I watch him as he takes a long sip, too quickly, and his hand presses against his temple. “Brain freeze?”

  His nose scrunches up and he nods his head. “You’d think I would have learned that as a kid.”

  “Some life lessons take longer to learn.” He asks me about my childhood and family. “My parents aren’t nearly as strict with my younger siblings as they were with me.”

  A crowd beside us gets rowdy. “These drinks are nice, but maybe we can go somewhere quieter to talk.” He dips his head and says, “Unless you are waiting for buddy to come back for his dance.”

  “I could always give him my number to meet up with him some other time.” With my eyebrow raised Aiden wags his head. “Where are you thinking about going?”

  “Hungry?” I nod my head. “We could probably find a quaint restaurant.” He pays for our drinks and grabs my hand, leading us out of the bar. On my way out of the door I see the guy in the grey suit dancing too close with a lady who doesn’t seem to care.

  Aiden walks us in the opposite direction of my car. I stop and say, “Oh, my car is back that way.”

  “It’s cooled down a bit, we can walk to a restaurant.” When I don’t move he says, “Promise I’ll walk you back to your car after dinner.” With that promise I follow him into a nearby café.

  Sitting across from each other, we order our entrees. The quieter café allows us to speak without shouting and hear each other without reading lips. Probably for the best, reading his lips leads my thoughts to other places and I still don’t know what he’s saying.

  “How often do you see your siblings?” he asks in a low voice, one that makes me imagine him whispering in my ear late at night while we lay in bed. I shift in the seat as I try to contain my thoughts to the here and now.

  “I try to make it to my mama’s house on Sunday for dinner. The older they get the harder they are to keep up with, but we all make it a point to be at that dinner table.”

  “Food can definitely bring us together.” He looks up at the server as she begins placing our hamburgers on the table. I grab a french fry from my plate and nibble on it as Aiden laughs. “Hungry?”

  “Something like that.” When I finish chewing I ask, “Tell me about your family.” As he begins to tell me about his family I listen with a mouthful of burger.

  “I have an older brother and a younger sister. My younger sister is a bit of a wild child, wrapping up her last year of college.” I imagine a female version of himself, and I’m sure his sister is causing all types of havoc on campus. “If she can graduate without being arrested for bar dancing or protesting we’d all be relieved.”

  “Protesting?” I ask between bites of my burger. Aiden takes a break from talking and bites into his burger.

  “Yeah, you know there are a million reasons for us to protest these days. And she doesn’t pass up any of the marches, sit-ins, or door knocking opportunities.” I nod my head. I remember the march we had to the governor’s mansion in Tallahassee when one of our own was struck by police brutality. Before then I wasn’t as active in the movement. But since then I’ve made it a point to stay on top of social justice issues and I lend my voice where I can, mainly calling in to state representatives.

  “She even changed her major to political science.” My eyes grow wide. “She’s passionate.” Aiden stops talking and takes another bite of his hamburger but his facial expression has changed. He looks distracted, or his thoughts are distant.

  The silence is uncomfortable, but I don’t want to dig. Instead of following up with all the questions I could ask about his sister, I ask him about his plans for the weekend. “I don’t have solid plans yet.” The smile returns to his face and I can’t help but smile in return. “I was hoping we could change that tonight.”

  I scrunch my nose as I remember the barbecue at my parent’s house on Saturday. “Saturday my family is having a barbecue at their house. Cousins, aunties, uncles, all the family should be there.” I pick up a fry, one that is now limp from turning cold. “Maybe we can make something happen Friday.”

  He squints his eyes together and his mouth drops open. “I love barbecue. I can even whip together a side dish.” I damn near choke on the limp fry that I should have left on the plate. “Too soon to be meeting your people?” I cough to clear my throat. “Do I have to save you again?” He stands to pat my back.

  With my hand in the air I say, “Caught me off guard there.” He sits back in his seat. “My family is…”

  “It’s cool. I don’t want to intrude. I can meet them another day.” He hands the server his card, but I grab my wallet and tell him dinner is my treat.

  “It wouldn’t be intruding. My family is very welcoming.” They’d love to see me bring someone home. Once Derrick made it through the inquisition my father loved having him around. But Derrick was shook after his first time meeting my dad. My dad caught Derrick alone during their visit to Tallahassee. We had been together for months, but my dad wanted to know his intentions with me, his plans for the future, how his mama and daddy raised him. After that, Derrick was serious about our move to Houston once we graduated.

  “So what should I bring?” I look at Aiden and consider the consequence of him meeting my family. Am I ready to have him around for a while? “I have my mama’s baked beans recipe.”

  I’ll just make sure my dad knows we are just friends, for now. “Baked beans it is.”

  Chapter Eight

  The smoke from the barbecue is in full effect. The music isn't too loud, but loud enough for me to hear each and every word of my daddy’s favorite summertime song, “Before I let Go.” I scan the backyard to find him dancing near the grill. My cousins run past me and I have to hold my store-bought cheesecake in the air to avoid dropping it on the ground.

  “Hey Mama,” I say as she reaches for the cheesecake. She looks over the Tupperware that is hiding the fact I bought dessert instead of slaving in the kitchen myself. She shakes her head as she takes the Tupperware from me. Before she turns to walk away she looks at Aiden and her
scorn eases into her beautiful smile.

  With her dimples on full display she asks, “I don’t remember any of my nephews looking like this.” She looks around the yard before continuing, “And I know your daddy doesn’t have anyone as handsome on his side.” She stops herself as one of my dad’s sisters walks past.

  “Mom, this is Aiden,” I say before adding, “my friend,” stressing friend more than necessary. With his pan of beans in one hand he wraps his free arm around my mom’s shoulder.

  “What’s that you got there, Aiden?”

  “Baked beans.” Aiden looks proudly at his pan. “My mama’s recipe.”

  “I’m sure your mama would be proud that you actually spent time making your dish”—she looks at me with her nose in the air—“instead of making a quick stop at the store on your way.” She invites Aiden to follow her to the kitchen, leaving me outside.

  “Your friend?” My cousin scoffs beside me. Growing up, Shelly would always be the one inside with the aunties despite the fact she was our age and should have been playing with baby dolls. “The way you walked in here bow-legged with that glow. Girl, you ain’t fooling nobody.”

  Despite my hardest attempt to keep my distance from Aiden as we walked into the barbecue, to try to be nonchalant about our connection, I couldn’t keep last night’s pleasure buried.

  When I got home from work yesterday I sat on my couch ready to take advantage of an evening at home. Collecting my rest after the week of hanging out and before the day spent in the heat. But after a couple of hours, boredom set in and I started texting, not even drunk texting, sober texting. Bored texting, which is probably worse than drunk texting.

  A few texts into the conversation and Aiden was knocking at my door volunteering to entertain me for a while. Channel surfing, Netflix browsing, and chatting kept us cordial until the moment his hand brushed against my thigh. I stared at his hand on my thigh, and watched as it became comfortable. He didn’t move it, but kept chatting about whatever it was he was chatting about.

  I remained motionless. I didn’t want to interrupt the moment or move and cause his hand to land in a place that wasn’t ready to be touched, yet. When the pressure of his hand on my thigh became too intense, his words faded and my lips landed on his.

  My breathing grew heavier and his lips left mine to explore my earlobe, then my neck, and soon after my nipples. Each kiss warmer than the last, leaving moist marks as he moved to the next spot. A few days into knowing Aiden, I wasn’t ready for all that intimacy, but my body was screaming otherwise.

  “Jen”—Shelly steps in front of my face—“are you still here? Where’d you go just now?” Before I could respond my mom opens the patio door with Aiden trailing behind her.

  “I gave your friend a tour of the house. In case you weren’t ready for him to know all about your childhood I skipped over your pics from elementary school.” My mom laughs as she walks away from us.

  “Your mom is cool.” Aiden looks at Shelly with his hand outstretched and says, “I’m Aiden.”

  “Nice to meet you, Aiden. I’m Shelly.” She steps in closer to him, with his hand still in hers and says, “Are you single, Aiden?” Shelly repeated his name annunciating each syllable, committing it to memory, I’m sure.

  Aiden releases her hand and looks over her head. With his upper lip between his teeth he says, “I am.” Looking back down at her, he says, “For now.”

  Shelly turns to me and wriggles her eyebrows, and then turns back to him. “I happen to be single as well.” I watch Aiden squirm under Shelly’s gaze. When his hand reaches the back of his neck I sweep in to rescue him from Shelly who is never ashamed to shoot her shot.

  “Ready to eat?” I point in the direction of the grill that is now closed. “Gotta grab a plate before we are left with only the scraps.” Aiden follows behind me as we walk towards the table my mom has set with all the side dishes and the heaps of meat from the grill.

  Aiden isn’t modest as he makes his plate and my mom smiles from across the table. We grab a seat at one of the folding tables surrounded by my younger cousins. “Could y’all look any more alike?” With a rib hanging from his mouth Aiden stares at my little sister at the table across from us.

  Years ago our resemblance was non-existent but as she gets older our common genes are shining through. Watching her laugh with my aunties, I see her innocence. I remember how I was at her age, going into the last year of high school, no longer naive but still wet behind the ears.

  With a forkful of beans headed for my mouth I say, “Don’t tell her that though.” Ground beef, smoky barbecue sauce, and what’s that… bell pepper? Aiden’s mama deserved praise for raising him, but now? These beans are on some smack your mama, but she is the mama, type good. “You can make these beans for me anytime you’d like.”

  “How about you try the real deal? Mine aren’t anywhere near hers.” With barbecue sauce smeared across his lips I’m tempted to wipe it away but I know eyes will be watching. Instead I motion at his mouth and he says, “The barbecue isn’t good if it doesn’t end up all over your face.” His hand rises to meet my face but instead of touching my face he sticks a finger in his mouth. “All over your fingers too.”

  “Baby girl,” I hear my dad yell over my shoulder. He’s freshly showered, grilling clothes replaced with a crisp pair of shorts, linen shirt, and his favorite leather loafers. He hugs my neck and asks, “How’d I do with that meat?”

  With my fingers dangling over my plate messy from sauce I say, “Not bad, Daddy, not bad at all.” I look beside me at Aiden who hasn’t stopped eating until now. Before my dad can ask who he is I introduce them. “This is my friend, Aiden.”

  My dad pats his back. “I see you like the meat, huh?” Aiden nods his head. “We’ll catch up when y’all finish eating.” My dad scurries off to ask others how they like his grilling skills.

  Aiden whispers in my ear, “I wanted to tell your dad his meat is great, but not as good as what I had last night.” He wipes his hands off and throws his dirty napkin on his plate. “Actually”—he smiles—“I think that would be the perfect dessert after this savory meal.”

  And like a dessert, with my leg on his shoulder, Aiden devoured me like a red velvet cake last night. The cake he told me he loves over any other dessert. Without moving from the couch we found ourselves in a pretzel with my back hard against the pillows. When my body couldn’t take any more my head collapsed as my chest heaved in and out, while I tried to calm my breathing.

  “Dessert?” My young cousin looks at Aiden. “I want dessert.” Aiden’s eyes grow wide as he realizes my cousin was only an earshot away. Although my cousin would never be able to understand the context of our conversation, Aiden and I both fumble before Aiden offers, “Your cousin here brought cheesecake.” Aiden examines my cousin’s plate with remnants of food and says, “I bet if you finish all your food she’ll cut you a slice.” My cousin shoves a spoonful of beans into his mouth then smiles.

  Balancing my plate in one hand, I reach over to grab Aiden’s in the other. “I’ll take this.” With a grin on my face I add, “And I’ll bring back pie.” Aiden looks up at me and winks.

  The Tupperware didn’t fool anyone; only a small slice has been cut. Looking around the table for other dessert options, I see a plate with a couple of brownies cut into ridged squares. I leave the pie for the unfortunate family member and take the plate of homemade brownies back to our table.

  “What type of work do you do, Aiden?” I should have known my dad would wait till I wasn’t around to drill Aiden. Leaning back in the seat I vacated, my dad listens as Aiden explains his job, filling him in on all the technical aspects that my dad won’t understand.

  Setting the plate of brownies on the table, I grab one before my little cousin can get his greasy fingers all over them. My dad looks at me and asks, “How’d the two of you meet?”

  Aiden smiles and looks at me. “We met in a coffee shop.” I don’t elaborate on the dire situation that led to
our ultimate introduction.

  “Oh good,” my dad says as he looks at Aiden. “All that technology you were explaining I was starting to think you two may have met on one of those dating apps.” My dad rattles off all the things that could go wrong with meeting someone on some app. “Kids these days need to come from behind these phones and meet people like we did back in the day.” He locks his eyes on me. “Meet their friends, family, make sure all and all they are a decent person without ill intent.”

  Before my dad can ask Aiden what his intentions are, I interrupt. “Thanks for throwing down today, Dad.”

  “You know it’s what I do, baby girl,” he says with a smile. He stands from the seat and lays a hand on Aiden’s shoulder. “Don’t be shy when you leave, feel free to take a plate.” Aiden looks up to him with a grin as wide as his face.

  Chapter Nine

  Another biker zips past us but I maintain my pace beside Aiden. Being taller, his strides are longer than mine, but I refuse to let him see me sweat this trail. I refuse to let my body let me down after all the years of dancing I’ve done. The first mile of the trail, I was able to participate in a conversation with him, but this second mile I’ve opted to observe our surroundings instead.

  “There should be a bench up ahead if you need a break.” I’m sure he’s tempting my resolve. Trying to see if I’ll give in, and as much as I want to prove I have stamina, I should probably sit my ass down before he has to carry me out of the park.

  “If we see it, we can take a break,” I say with my eyes full ahead searching for this long lost bench. Aiden laughs and slows his pace. “We still have two miles to go, we can’t slow down now.” My handy dandy Fitbit alerted me to the first mile a few steps back. I thought it would be a good idea to wear it to track all the steps I don’t ever get in a normal day or during any of my activities.