Break Me

by Amanda Heath

  Break Me (Make or Break, #2)

  Amanda Heath

  Break Me

  Copyright © 2014 by Amanda Heath

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and for review purposes.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and events are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblances to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons living or dead, are entirely coincidental.

  The use of artist and song titles throughout this book are done so for storytelling purposes and should in no way be seen as advertisement. Trademark names are used in an editorial fashion, with no intention of infringement of the respective owner’s trademark.

  Cover:

  Stock Image © Mayer George

  Cover design by Robin Harper

  Wicked by Design

  Editing by ProofBeforeYouPublish

  Formatting by Amanda Heath

  Other books by Amanda Heath

  This Beautiful Thing (Young Love)

  Fire In Her Eyes (Summer Love)

  Norma Jean (Young Love and Summer Love)

  Wrong Kind of Love (Young Love)

  Make Me (Make or Break)

  Angel Cuffs (Erotic Short Story)

  Break Me is the second book in Amanda Heath’s Make or Break series. It can be read as a standalone.

  “Wes, I don’t know what you want me to say here.” Royal’s voice is broken. Maybe he is broken. Maybe I broke him. Lord knows I’m broken myself.

  “Don’t say anything,” I start off with. There are so many things I want to tell him. The one thing I want him to know, that I want him, I will never say aloud. “When push comes to shove Royal, you’ll break me. I’d never be the same after you. I’d be a shell of this girl.”

  His face pales but he doesn’t step away. Something I had planned on. His hands caress my face before he says, “You have that wrong, Wesley. You’ll be the one to break me.”

  Wesley Bridges was lost between the living and the dead. She was clinging to her boyfriend, who passed away unexpectedly. She was left with having no way to move on. Her best friends, Annabella and Pierce were too caught up in each other to save her. Even her family turned a blind eye, not able to bear her grief.

  Then one day, Royal Sanders walked into her life. Tall, dark and sinfully handsome, but aren’t all the unattainable ones? At first it was nothing. She was asked to tutor him and found he’s different than even she thought. She even turned to Royal when things got too hard. And when she falls for him, she falls hard.

  But Royal’s the enemy. A long drawn out hatred brews between her friends and Royal’s. That doesn’t seem important to her, considering she’s still in love with her dead boyfriend. A love triangle between life and death…who will win?

  Grief is a powerful emotion but there are several different kinds of grief. Betrayal and heartache are still knocking on her door. Things are about to come crashing down around her. It will definitely break her, but will Royal be enough to save her?

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Epilogue

  Sneak peek of Save Me

  Acknowledgements

  About The Author

  Chapter One of Make Me

  For Aidyn

  You find joy in the small things and I remember what it’s like to be a child

  Oh how I wish life was still that simple

  Love you to distraction baby girl

  Chapter One

  Six Months Ago…

  We laid him to rest today. Eighteen years old is far too early to put anyone to rest. That kind of death puts a stop to life. It breaks you; makes you so buried in grief you feel like you can’t ever get back out.

  When my grandma died it wasn’t devastating. Yeah, I was sad and I cried, but she died of old age. We all knew it was coming. It’s far easier to let go of someone who had a full life. Not someone who had only just begun his life.

  “Are you ready to go?” My best friend Annabella asks me.

  I don’t look up to answer. I just stare down at his coffin. I want to cry but the tears won’t come. I haven’t shed one tear. It hasn’t hit me yet I don’t think, but I know it’s coming. My body knew I had to make it through this day so it shut down my emotions. Even my thoughts.

  A strong hand lands on my shoulder and I flinch. Pierce squeezes my shoulder before turning me around to face him. I look up into his green eyes and sigh. “Let’s go, Wes,” he says softly. His hand reaches for my hand and I slip mine into it.

  Annabella comes to my other side and slips her arm through my elbow. “Want to go home? Or do you want to head to the Gardeners?”

  “Home,” is all I say.

  Annabella nods and leads the way to Donovan’s car. He stands next to it with his shades on top of his head. His arms are crossed over his chest and there’s a sad look on his face. Even his green eyes look sad. I break apart and rush to him. I reach my hand up and cup the side of his face. “You should never look so sad Donovan. I always want to see a smile on this face.” I pause and lower my hand. His troubled eyes stare into mine. I’m happy to see that the sadness has lifted. “You don’t look like you without it.”

  “Okay, Wes,” he replies and opens the passenger side door for me. I climb in and buckle up. The other three are soon in the car and Donovan heads home.

  My parents are probably going to the Gardeners, so I relax. I have wonderful parents but they hover too much. “Where’s Bentley?” I ask without looking at anyone.

  “He went to stay with David,” Pierce answers me from the back seat.

  His voice sounds strained and I automatically feel bad. “I’m sorry, I should have sat in the back,” I tell him without thought.

  The silence in the car gets even worse. I spoke without thinking, which is never good around these three. “Not a problem.” Pierce clears his throat and shifts in the back seat. I want to groan.

  Donovan and Pierce are my cousins. They also happen to be brothers. Annabella is dating Donovan, but if you knew anyone in this car right now, you would know that Pierce is even closer to Annabella than I am. We’ve been stuck together so long, we don’t really know how to be friends with anyone else. Which makes everything awkward because Donovan thinks Pierce and Annabella want each other.

  Now that I can’t answer though. There are no people more closed off than Pierce and Annabella. I go with it though. They have their demons and who am I to say something about how they fight them off?

  We finally make it to my house. I’m out of the car and running to the front door before anyone else can even get out. I run up the stairs to my front door and almost kick over a potted plant. I slip my key into the lock and twist until the door pops open. I leave it open because I know the other three won’t leave, no matter what I say.

&nb
sp; I rush through the foyer and up the stairs until I get to the last door on the right. My room. I kick my shoes off and jump face first on the white comforter. I reach my left hand out and grab the picture frame sitting there. I turn my head until I’m not breathing pillow anymore. Pain sears me throughout my body.

  Trey stares back at me from the picture. We took it about three months ago while we were hanging out with everyone. His blonde hair sticks up from the gel he put in it. His brown eyes stare at me with happiness behind his glasses. His classical face brings the first tears to my eyes. The control I had over my emotions is slipping away. It’s really the end to this beautiful life. It was taken for no reason. I can’t handle it.

  The tears run down my face as fast as my eyes can produce them. Pain keeps my entire body frozen in place. I can’t even remove my eyes from his face. The face that took my first kiss. The face I saw over me while we made love. The face I woke up to countless times, but only on the weekends when it was easier to sneak him in.

  The love of my life gone.

  Forever.

  How do I even deal with this?

  I don’t.

  I cry myself to sleep long before I can shrivel up and die.

  ***

  I’m sure by now you’re wondering about a lot of things. I’ll get to them, but I had to tell you about that day. The lowest day of my life. I’ll tell you what happened to Trey and explain our relationship, but you won’t get to read that. This story isn’t about us, but it started that day. The day we buried Trey. I also wanted you to know where I was at emotionally. Annabella tells me all the time that people have to hit rock bottom before they are lifted up again. And that was definitely when I was the lowest. It took me months to crawl up from there. I honestly never thought I would.

  For now, I will tell you about Trey. We met at the bowling alley near his house. I’m a bookish person and I have never been social, so it was a miracle I was even there. Annabella wanted to go so she dragged Pierce and I. I’m happy I went now, but then, I wasn’t.

  Trey was one lane over with some of his friends. He always wore his hair gelled up. I remember that I liked that about his appearance. He was very well put together. Something else I liked. His button up shirt was nice and ironed to perfection. His dark jeans were as well. I couldn’t say much for his bowling shoes, but then again, I had some on too.

  We were going at the same time but since I’m horrible at bowling, my ball ended up in his lane. I could hear everyone behind us laughing, but Trey didn’t. No, he waited for our balls to come back up and he stood behind me and showed me how to throw. Tingles raced up and down my body when he touched me. His hands on my hands. It was definitely inappropriate to be touching when I didn’t even know his name but it wasn’t creepy. He was very professional about it. He explained what to do in terms that I could understand.

  When I got a strike from his help I turned to find Pierce scowling at us. But that was Pierce for you. He is over protective of all his female relatives plus Annabella. Things in his life weren’t good growing up. He’s never come out and said anything, but I know he watched his dad beat his mom, almost to death. My mom and dad were talking about it one night when they thought I was asleep in the car. He had to have been seven at the time. Apparently the shrinks his mom sent him to say he was emotionally scarred from the incident for the rest of his life. So I don’t hold the protectiveness against him.

  Anyway, the rest was history. We spent a total of two years together. He was everything to me. I thought about him when I first woke up and he was the last thing on my mind when I went to sleep at night. It’s hard to let that go, even though I know I have to. I have to let him go, but I can’t. How do you let something go that meant so much to you? You can’t. I feel at times this pain will always be with me.

  I got a call about midnight the day he died. It was his mother. She said Trey was in the hospital and it didn’t look good. Then he passed. Just like that my whole life ended. One drunk person got into a car and hit my boyfriend while he was walking down the street. He did that a lot. He liked the night air and the peace of the dark sky. He wasn’t even in the road, he was on the sidewalk. The driver swerved and ran him over.

  Just like that.

  One second he was here and the next he wasn’t. They wouldn’t even let me see his body. He had a closed casket. I couldn’t even look at my love one last time. His dad told me that I didn’t need to remember him like that. He said he didn’t want to remember him like that. That only made it worse, because I feel like he might be out there somewhere still. I never saw proof he was dead.

  Now after spending three days inside crying, I sit outside in my backyard with my headphones on, listening to whatever comes on. Sad songs, happy songs, love songs, they all have the same affect. They break me apart. They rip me to pieces. I’m nothing anymore. I stand up and scream. I scream as loud as I can and I curse whoever took him away from me. I let it all out but it doesn’t help. It all comes right back in.

  “Wesley!” My dad screams from the back door.

  I turn fast and see him running toward me. I open my arms before he even gets there. I need this. He envelops me and I start sobbing. Remember when I said I hadn’t cried? Well now I cry and cry all day. I can’t seem to move on.

  “It’s going to be okay, baby bear. I swear to you it’s going to be okay.” Tears choke up his voice and it makes it all worse. I’m hurting everyone around me because I can’t see an end in sight. There’s only one path and it’s full of pain. Maybe I’ll be this way forever. I know I’ll never be sane again.

  I’m fucking broken. No good anymore.

  “Dad?” my little brother Bentley says softly.

  “It’s okay son. She’s not hurt,” my dad tells him just as softly.

  I don’t hear his feet move away so I know he’s still there. My beautiful sixteen-year-old brother. I open my eyes and take in his tight jeans and band t-shirt. His face that looks just like our father’s. His green eyes pierce mine and I sob harder.

  “I love you, Wes,” he whispers before heading back into the house. Most younger brothers want nothing to do with you. They are more worried about video games and girls, but my brother is different. We are close and I hate hurting him but sometimes, you just need your dad.

  “He’ll be okay, baby bear. He just doesn’t understand what you’re going through,” he whispers into my hair and I clutch him as tightly as possible.

  “I hope he never does,” I choke out.

  Chapter Two

  “Wesley! You’re going to be late for school!” My mother calls from the kitchen. I imagine her sitting at the table and sipping her dark coffee. I personally can’t drink the stuff without cream but she just dumps it in her cup and goes. No sugar either.

  Her blonde hair is probably pulled up into a bun and her designer suit pressed to perfection. She might look like Business Barbie but she isn’t. She was top of her class at Harvard and now enjoys running her own law firm.

  I’ve been ready for hours. I pulled my long, curly blonde hair into a ponytail. I put on really light makeup, which included black eye liner and mascara around my green eyes, clear lip gloss on my bow-shaped lips and blush on my high cheek bones. I put on my school uniform and then laid out on my bed.

  I tend to only sleep for a few hours at night. The dreams wake me up. They don’t even have to be bad. Sometimes I’m with Trey and we are married and happy. Those are the worst. Why does my brain think it’s okay to show me what I’ll never have?

  “You want to ride with me?” Bentley jolts me out of my head with his soft words. My baby brother. Always looking out for me when it should be the other way around.

  I take my eyes away from the ceiling and take in his shaggy blonde head and bright green eyes. His school uniform looks good on him and forms to his muscles. “I like the blue polo on you better,” I tell him before I go back to staring at the ceiling.

  Bentley and I attend a private high school where uniforms are m
andatory. The boys have to wear polo’s or button ups either blue or black. Girls have to wear pleated skirts with a polo or a shirt and vest. Bentley wears the black polo and it gives him a dangerous edge. He must like someone at school. His hair, now that I think about it, has gel in it.

  “Yeah well it clashes with my skin tone. Black makes me look all mysterious and sexy.” Normally I would throw a pillow at his face but for the past six months I haven’t been the same. Now I just shrug my shoulders. “Do you want a ride, Wes?” he asks again, this time there’s a warning in his voice.

  “No. I’m waiting for Pierce and Annabella.” I’ve been waiting for thirty minutes and I know it’s a lost cause. Pierce forgot me again. He tends to do that sometimes. He’ll get caught up in whatever he and Annabella are doing. They both tend to forget I exist anymore. Apparently I’m a completely different person than I used to be.

  I don’t know if that’s true. I have the same thoughts and do the same things but I tend to space out during conversations. Or I’ll pretend to leave for school but sneak back in and lay in bed all day.

  “According to Facebook they are both at school already. I was waiting for you to figure that out.” He comes into the room and picks me up off the bed. I weigh one hundred pounds soaking wet and Bentley has to be two fifty since he’s six feet tall. I only average out at five feet. I think he could bench press me all day and never get tired.

  Since he’s done this to me before, I grab my backpack from my desk before he makes it out the door.

  Mom waves to us from the kitchen, also used to this. I think everyone is just used to me this way. They don’t seem to try and make me back into what I was. Or maybe I won’t let them. I don’t know anymore. I don’t know much anymore and I don’t want to.