Straight from the Heart

by Breigh Forstner

  “A couple minutes for what?” I snapped. “You humiliated me in front of hundreds of people, Ethan! Who records a video on their phone of us almost having sex? My parents could’ve seen that! And then you don’t ever call me or try to find me to apologize? The fuck Ethan?”

  “I wanted to Bryn.” His eyes met mine with sincerity. “What I’ve wanted to tell you was it wasn’t me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It means that I didn’t hit record on my phone. Lincoln finally confessed to it a week after and I about killed him. I was too drunk to even comprehend what happened when you confronted me. I know that sounds crazy and ridiculous coming from a guy who hasn’t tried to call you since beginning of summer.” Ethan explained. “I called your parents once. Your dad said you had left with your guitar and a suitcase and had no idea where you went. Said your mom locked herself in her study with bottles of rum and would hardly come out unless it was for their weekly dinner parties. Shit, I even tried Gina and Beth, but they were no help. They never liked me much.”

  I was at a loss for words. All of this time, when Ethan’s best friend confessed to recording the video, he still never called me or tried to find me?

  “Still doesn’t explain how you’re here standing in my dressing room, Ethan,” I replied impatiently.

  He leaned against the wall, taking a sip of his drink. “Remember that talent show we went to when you told me you wanted a guitar?” I nodded. “I said to you that night ‘I will be front row cheering you on. I’ll always be your biggest fan B. Always’. Two and two clicked for me. You’re a determined girl, Bryn. I had been listening to Everlasting for quite a while and when I was checking out a few YouTube videos of them from this tour, I recognized you. God help me I was so surprised at how you commanded the stage. Like a pro.”

  I smiled for the first time since seeing him. I wanted to give him a hug for old time’s sake. Part of me said no, that he’s just lying so I could screw him like he’s always wanted.

  “You came to our last show on the tour, sneaking backstage to tell me all of this?” I questioned. “What’s the catch, Ethan?”

  Ethan put his hands up in defense. “No no no, there’s no catch, Bryn, I swear. I wanted to give you an apology in person.” Then he tried giving me his hand. “And I want to try and possibly be friends, as crazy as that sounds.”

  I took his hand, and he wrapped me up into a short hug. I had forgotten how nice he had felt, his muscles hard from working out with his dad on an almost daily basis. “I suppose that could work. As pissed and hurt as I am at you still I can try to forgive you, but I won’t forget just remember that bud.” I chuckled against his chest and he let me go.

  “You still have my number, don’t you?” He asked and I mouthed ‘Yes.’ “Promise next time you’re free we’ll meet up for lunch at Lozano’s, alright?”

  I laughed. He had no idea I had rented out a loft from the owners. Louisa. I missed her. I knew she’d be glad to see me more than likely tomorrow at the soonest. “Sounds good. But you better get out of here before the guys think I have a crazy stalker fan in the dressing room.”

  Ethan threw his head back, striding towards the door. “Yeah I can tell lead singer boy has the hots for you, B. Good luck with him by the way.” He left just in the nick of time. The guys barged in and nearly tackled me to the ground. They smelled like sweat and wore off cologne.

  “Get off of me,” I mumbled in between pushing them off of me one by one.

  “Had to get ya, Bryn. You’re like one of the guys, it’s only fair,” Vince joked, brushing off his holed up jeans. “Who was that guy anyway walking in the hallway? Looked too preppy to be part of the crew.”

  I giggled and shrugged my shoulders. “Beats me, maybe a crazy fan looking for Lucy?” I was surprised Lucy didn’t fall for the Ethan charm when she saw him. He looked better since the last time I saw him, but I had to tell myself the past was the past. As stupid as it sounded, I would gladly forgive him and try to be friends, but I don’t think I would ever consider dating Ethan again if he were to ask me.

  Cale hugged me again, his hands almost flat on my ass. His fingers started rubbing in circles, immediately sending a fire through my belly. “Not here,” I moaned softly into his ear. “They can see.”

  “I don’t give two shits tonight.” Cale kissed a spot just below my ear. “We’re staying at the MGM Grand and there’s a huge ass party in Damon’s room. He was just telling us. And you and I are getting a room to ourselves.”

  “What about everyone else?” I asked him.

  “They’ve got their own plans. I don’t give a shit. All I know is I want you in bed with me tonight.”

  “Ohhh I’m gonna vomit.” Luke stuck a hand in his throat, bumping into us on purpose. “You hit on anything that walks lately Cale, since Lucy…”

  “I think I’m going to have another drink,” Cale interrupted, sliding past us, and drinking straight out of the bottle. “Or just the rest of this and everything else.”

  I made a mental note: Never bring up Lucy around Cale. He made every excuse in the book to avoid it and start drinking. Which I found funny because on a normal day they talked like they were best friends, but I didn’t care since Lucy had grown to be a close friend and ally.

  After Ignite the Flames finished their set, they led the party over to the MGM Grand. We all had rooms on the same floor, which only spelled out trouble. With the way everyone was hyped up after their sets, I secretly prayed we wouldn’t get arrested.

  That should’ve been the furthest thing from my mind.

  Chapter 13: She will be loved

  Home sweet home.

  Temporary home I should say. In the loft next to Lozano’s. As soon as we pulled up to the Italian restaurant Louisa and her family were outside waiting for us.

  “Oh Miss Bryn, you’re finally back.” Louisa scooped me into a hug and I hugged her back tightly. “You’ve lose weight girl. Come inside and I’ll make you some lunch.” I rubbed my stomach in response. I wasn’t the skinniest girl on the block but I probably lost a good 5 pounds on the road, which was the opposite of what I expected would happen.

  “I would love it. I haven’t had a home cooked meal in months,” I admitted. Cale and the guys stood behind me, pushing each other around into the quiet downtown street and I rolled my eyes. “Plus these men can’t cook worth a damn unless they’re hiding it from me.”

  Alberto chuckled and squeezed my hand. “Have them come in with me, missy. I’ll whip them into shape.”

  I yelled towards them, telling everyone to follow us inside. Walking inside, the other waitresses came up and gave me hugs, letting me know how different I looked. In a good way I hoped. When we sat down, Louisa handed us all waters and big plate of homemade bread sticks and butter.

  “Damnnnn I think we all need to relocate. I could eat this stuff every day,” Vince groaned after his 4th breadstick. Raptor slapped him in the back of the head. “What did I say wrong?”

  Louisa laughed with her thick Italian accent. “I just might have to invest in a delivery driver now.”

  “Awe that would rock. My parents can’t even cook like this,” Vince replied and we all laughed at his over excitement for the food. I was looking through numbers on my phone when I fingered over my parents’ house phone number. Did I dare care them? Did I just show up out of nowhere and make things right? In the pit of my stomach I knew that while I was back for a little bit I should try to make amends, but enjoy my freedom while I still had it.

  I felt a hand caressing my covered knee and I looked only to see Cale staring at me with his usual concerned look on his face. After last night’s events it was hard not to ignore every movement he made. I replayed how our hotel room door got busted down by Damon’s brother Abel and Pauly, putting a damper on my plans. Both of us were damn near out of our clothes and under the covers of our nice warm king sized bed when the two guys fell through.

  “Let them call you, Bryn,” he whispered in my
ear. How did this man know everything I was thinking? “If they gave a rat’s ass they would’ve called by now, hun.”

  “You’re a mind reader, Pelton.” I set my phone down, and leaned into him. “A girl can hope, can’t she?”

  His free hand squeezed mine. “Nothing wrong with dreaming. You’re absolutely amazing.”

  “Aww cut the sappy crap and get a room!” Luke shouted towards us, just as plates of the best lasagna in town, or anywhere for that matter, arrived. I smirked at him and ate my food, not giving in just yet. They knew. Cale didn’t have to say anything and neither did I. But I wasn’t about to display full on PDA in a restaurant like this, or just come out and say this guy sitting next to me was my boyfriend.

  He was, in a sort of non-official way.

  “Just jealous that’s all.” Cale teased, flinging food in Luke’s direction. It landed square in the middle of his shirt and Luke looked pissed.

  “Cale why’d you do that?” I looked in his direction, fuming. “He’s joking. Do you really have to throw food like we’re in middle school?”

  “Well mother,” he said as he scooted away from me, emphasizing ”mother”, “I should’ve expected you of all people to scold me. I mean you weren’t last night when…”

  Before I could slap him, Alberto Jr. brought us some desert. I could feel the tension between everyone at the table now after our little spat. We had enough of them on the bus, that’s for sure, but now that we had a small break before going to meeting with the label again, it might have been the breather we all needed. I could maybe relax for day or so and get back to helping out Louisa and Alberto in the restaurant.

  Once everyone was done eating, I helped Louisa clean up the plates and hung back while the guys left and took the tour bus back to their place, which I still had yet to see. Before the dinner rush piled in, Louisa and I sat down and I talked about the tour.

  “My goodness, you must never have gotten any sleep with all those people in one place.” Lou said, resting her elbows on the counter.

  “Once in a while, when we were lucky enough to stay in a hotel,” I replied. “Even then it was crazy to say the least.”

  “But that boy, the one next to you with the easy eyes, he has a thing for you, Miss Bryn. I could tell from the first time he met you here for lunch. What was his name again, Cale?”

  I blushed just thinking about him. Shouldn’t be since he was practically my brother, but that was opposite of what I truly wanted. All I wanted was to finally say that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, not just us sneaking behind the guys’ backs and kissing when no one was looking. He didn’t know this, but I wanted him to be my first. As immature as he could be, a part of me was starting to wholeheartedly fall for him.

  “That’s his name alright.” I sighed.

  “Ohh don’t hide it. You’re young; you need to explore what’s out in the world. I remember that Ethan you used to bring by once in a while. Yeah he was nice looking and good for you then, but you need someone that’s good for you right now. That might just be Cale. I know you’ve probably heard that one too many times, so I won’t say another word about it, Bryn.” Louisa chuckled. “I polished some of the lamps and things in the loft while you were gone. I wasn’t sure if you still wanted to stay there while you were back home, but I cleaned it up a little bit.”

  I smiled and thanked Louisa. “You are too sweet. Thank you so much, Lou. I can’t wait to sleep in a warm comfy bed again. It’s long overdue.” Saying goodbye to Alberto and Junior, I walked outside and upstairs to my loft.

  Louisa saying that she cleaned the place was an understatement. It looked like a brand new place: the floors were shiny and the carpet looked freshly vacuumed, and it smelled like lilies…my favorite. Then I approached what I had been looking forward to the most, my bed. I stripped down to my red bra and panties, landing face first onto the mattress. The coolness of the sheets felt good against my skin as I lay there and took in the bustle of the downtown below me.

  “Are you ready?” Cale whispered against my ear, his lips leaving feather light kisses down the side of my face, leading down to my neck. I wrapped my legs around his bare waist, his hand on his length, probing it towards my soaking entrance. “Goddamit baby you’re fucking drenched.”

  “Just hurry up and fuck me please.” I cried, feeling the ache intensify and I was so ready for this moment that I felt like I was about to come right on the spot.

  Cale’s eyes looked into mine for a brief moment. This was the side of him I always loved to see. The one where he was sweet and vulnerable, just like he was then. “I’d like to think of it as making love. Your first time needs to be nice and slow, something you’re going to remember for the rest of your life.” He inched his way in slowly, and I could feel my insides trying to make room for what was about to be inside of me. Was this supposed to really hurt? Shit. “Hunny you’re so tight,” he growled, and I felt a split ounce of pain. No turning back now Bryn, he just took your virginity.

  “Bryn?”

  I lifted my head off of my pillow and looked around. It took a minute for my eyes to catch up with me, but when I could see straight, I saw Cale standing next to me. I glanced down at my panties and wanted to blush from embarrassment. Here I was, having a wet dream about this guy and now he was standing inches from me? Luckily I was mostly covered by my sheets, so I slipped off the drenched piece of fabric, leaving me only in my bra.

  “It’s called knocking Cale. I wanted some time to myself,” I mumbled, running a hand through my messy bed hair. My face fell down to the pillow again as I faced the opposite way.

  “Come on, Bryn,” Cale said, sounding frustrated. “Please talk to me. You seemed pissed off after lunch and I just want to talk before I head back home.”

  I ignored him, pulling the blankets up to cover myself. “You still could’ve knocked. For all you knew, I could’ve been naked. I want to go back to bed, please.” He couldn’t take no for an answer because then I felt a hand near my backside. Within seconds Cale leapt over me and onto the other side of the bed, causing the whole bed to shake.

  “I’ll do whatever I have to do to get you to talk, Bryn. Just hear me out, okay?” His amber eyes raked over what parts of me he could see. “I wanted to tell you I was sorry for how I’ve been acting. You’ve heard it from Charming, now you’re hearing it from me. I seriously care about you like you wouldn’t believe, Bryn. I’ve been standoffish, lead you on…” I didn’t like where this was going. His fingers inched slowly underneath the sheets towards my belly and he smirked. Like the kind of smirk I saw in my dream where he was getting ready to have sex with me. Cale sucked in a breath and let it out, “No panties, that’s going to get you in trouble.”

  I swatted his hand away. He wasn’t going to talk serious and get out of it so quickly. “What does it matter to you anyway?”

  Cale shifted from his side onto his back and put his arms behind his head. “Bryn Michelle, you really frustrate me. You know that, don’t you?” I had to laugh. This had to have been the first time he’s ever said my middle name, so I covered my face up and laughed as hard as I could. Even when Cale tried to sound frustrated, he still looked hot as ever.

  When I finally looked back at him, I could feel water pouring from my eyes and my face was hot from laughing so hard. “Bryn Michelle? Never again.” I wiped the tears from my face and took a deep breath. “In all honesty do you realize that I’m half naked, well I basically am naked, because you’re all I’ve been thinking about? I was dreaming that you were my first and my panties were trashed because of it. But I don’t think it really matters...”

  Cale stopped me before I could finish. “What are you talking about Bryn? Of course it matters, if you want to, I’d gladly…”

  “Yes I know, Cale, you’ve only told me a hundred times, maybe more? But you can really piss me off. I don’t want to be one of those girls on the side that you can just kiss and feel up whenever you see fit away from the guys. It’s like you and I are som
e big secret and I won’t live like that. I really 100% have feelings for you, I always have and, to me when a guy kisses a girl like you kiss me, and spends as much time together as we do…I would say it’s more than ‘friends with benefits,’” I air-quoted, and felt proud of myself. I spat out what I wanted from him: I wanted to be exclusive. Cale and Bryn, boyfriend and girlfriend.

  We laid in silence for what felt like hours, just staring at each other, waiting for the other to say something. I suddenly felt uncomfortable only dressed in my bra, so I tried to climb out of the bed with the blanket covering me, but Cale’s strong hand gripped my arm before I could get any further. He spun me so I landed practically on top of him, and his face looked amused. “I’m not good at this boyfriend, girlfriend thing,” he said, pointing to us. “I don’t want to give us false hope and say that I won’t screw up and let you down, Bryn. I feel like a better person when I’m around you. I don’t want the guys to think us being in a relationship while in the band would take a toll. But damn, if you were my girlfriend I’d be the luckiest guy in the frickin world. I should’ve told you that the first time I saw you.” Cale paused, cupping my face in his hands and bringing it toward his. “Bryn Michelle Schaefler, it’s a bit delayed, but will you be my girlfriend?”

  My first initial thought? Scared, but happy. I was taking a big chance and risking the bands musical future by us being in a relationship, but so be it. I smiled from ear to ear and said “Yes, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for that question.” And I bent down to kiss him. I kissed him with every ounce of passion I had in my body, holding nothing back. My fingers trailed the hem line of his t-shirt, sliding it up inch by inch, revealing his flat stomach.

  He slipped his tongue into my mouth, and I let out a whimper. We separated for merely seconds so he could sit up to take off his shirt. Over the course of the tour I’d seen him shirtless dozens of times, but at that moment I couldn’t help but stare in awe. This guy in front of me, the one I was straddling, was completely perfect. His brown hair stayed out of his face except for a few curled strands, and his amber eyes were gleaming at me. My fingers trailed along the ridges of his stomach and his ‘Live and Let Die’ tattoo on his heart. I bent down to kiss it, running my tongue against the ink and laying my head in the same spot.