Always Mine: A Bad Boy Next Door Romance

by Lauren Wood

  “We can walk since it isn’t that far. I need to stretch my legs.” And I didn’t want to get in a car with him, not after he had gotten into two wrecks in the last year since he had been working there.

  Stephen didn’t look too happy with the idea of it, his hand pushed the blonde hair from his face like it was a problem. I didn’t wait for him to suggest something else. Instead I grabbed my black purse and keys and headed out the door. I wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to find another way to go.

  When we got to the apartment building, I wished for a second that I had really thought it through. I didn’t really want him in my apartment, but he was there and I wasn’t going to be rude. The second reason really came to me when I saw Joel in the hallway. He kept looking from me to Stephen and he didn’t have to say a word, I knew what he was thinking.

  “Good evening Cameron. I was waiting for you to get home. I didn’t know that you were going to have company.”

  I sighed to myself and wished that he had just left it alone. I looked over at Stephen and saw that the two men were looking at each other like they were mortal enemies. This was not at all what I wanted to happen and before it could get any worse, I started up the stairs and asked Stephen if he was coming.

  “Cameron!”

  Turning around, Joel was looking at me red-faced and I was left to wonder what was going through his mind. Couldn’t he just see by looking at Stephen that it wasn’t like that? My answer came when he moved towards me with anger in his eyes. “Can we talk?”

  “This isn’t really a good time Joel.” I wanted to say something to ease it all over, but at the same time I was upset that I had to. Why did I have to make it all better when I wasn’t doing anything wrong? It wasn’t like me and him were together or something. We had gone out as friends one time. Yes, there was a kiss, but I bristled at the idea that he owned me or was going to act like he did.

  “I want to talk to you now. I don’t care if it is a good time or not.”

  That really got me upset and I turned away from him before I could say anything that I was sure to regret later. What kind of nerve did this guy have?

  “Hey pal, why don’t you just get the hint?”

  I told Stephen to just let it go. I didn’t know what it was that he thought he was doing, but I could see the situation quickly escalating in a way that I didn’t want it to. They were both acting like they didn’t have any sense and I just wanted to shake my head to them both. It was a moment where I should have pulled out a ruler so they could measure the manhood that they wanted to compare.

  “You are not involved in this pretty boy, so just go up the stairs and wait while the grown-ups talk.”

  I couldn’t believe that Joel was acting like the jealous boyfriend. We weren’t together, so where the heck did he get off?

  Stephen moved back down two steps and they were in each other’s face. I was about to try to get between them. The first punch flew and I wasn’t getting in the middle of it. I watched as the two men fought for what seemed like an eternity. I tried to stop them by yelling, but there was no way that I was getting involved in another way. It got intense for a few minutes and then finally there was a victor. He grinned up at me and I was speechless. What was I supposed to say? There was no congrats in order for the little stunt and I didn’t return the smile.

  Chapter 8

  Cameron

  “Cameron, are you going to answer this door or not?”

  I just looked at the door and sighed. It was burning up in the apartment, but there was no way that I was going to get Joel to help me now, not after what happened. It wasn’t just that he had beat up one of the guys I worked with for really no reason at all, but it had started a bunch of gossip at work that I wasn’t even ready to deal with.

  That was why I was at home, instead of at work like I would have been. But I couldn’t handle all of the looks and the questions. There was no telling what Stephen had said. It was his first day back after the attack, that is what he is calling it and it was the last thing that I wanted to find out. Dealing with Joel was just out of the question.

  Not answering, I waited for the footsteps to go away from the door and back down the stairs. It wasn’t until I heard the sound of the knob on the door that I realized what he was doing. He was opening my door with the master key that he had because he was a manager. I couldn’t believe it and before I could get up, he was in the door.

  “You know that I know you are in here. Why didn’t you just answer when I knocked?”

  I was sputtering I was so angry. “What are you doing? You can’t just walk in here whenever you want! There are laws against this!”

  I was outraged and it wasn’t because he had come in the way he did. I was more upset about the way I was trembling and the smile on his face like what I was saying didn’t matter. He made it appear I was just there just to do his bidding. If I wouldn’t have responded in the way that I did, I might have thought that he was going over the line. But with Joel, there was a blurring of the line that was hard to get around and it wasn’t a situation that I planned for. What did I do when an intruder was one that I wanted in some weird way even though I couldn’t admit it?

  Pulling me to his chest, I didn’t even try to pull away. “You need to talk to me Cameron. I told you that I was sorry, many times. I didn’t know that you worked with him and I just got jealous and kind of lost my head.”

  He acted like beating the crap out of some guy was no big deal. It was a big deal. It was a huge deal and I didn’t understand why he didn’t get that. I couldn’t think much with him so close anyways so I just kind of looked at him. Joel took that as a bad sign and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it wasn’t that way.

  “Please Cameron, say something.”

  I wasn’t able to speak because I was pressed so hard against his body. I knew how hard he was from our ride on his bike, but the reminder of that fact was enough to make my head spin. He was just too handsome, too much of a man to be denied and I didn’t want to ignore the way he made me feel.

  “I just, I don’t know what to say Joel. I don’t know why you think that this is okay. You barge into my apartment and now you want to apologize?” It didn’t make sense and I let out a sigh of frustration and relief when he released me.

  “I know that I was an idiot. Can you see that you are the one that made me do it? You have driven me crazy Cameron. You are hot one moment and cold the next. After our date, I thought that there was something between us. I know that you felt it when we kissed.”

  I had to stop myself from touching the lips that he was talking about. I could still feel his mouth on mine if I closed my eyes and really thought about it. I had done that one too many times and I was sure that it was why I was so on edge around him. I had built him up in my mind too much. That was all that it was. I had made him larger than life and he was only just a man.

  “I felt something, but I can’t be with you. I can’t be with a man like you Joel. We are from too different worlds.”

  He didn’t want to hear that and he was back to holding my arms and pulling me towards him. “I knew that I should have just done this from the start.”

  I didn’t know what he was talking about until his lips crushed against mine. I heard a soft moan and I was more than a little embarrassed to realize that it was me that had made that noise. This kiss was not like the last one. There was no permission given and it wasn’t necessary because he certainly didn’t ask for it.

  When I knew that it had gone too far, it was too late. My body was moving back towards the couch and I fell down onto it when he kept pushing me back. The couch hit my calves and I moved into the soft cushion. He was quick to follow me and before I knew it, Joel was straddling my body.

  “Joel, what are you doing?”

  “Something that I have wanted to do for a very long time, Cameron. I know that you want this. I can see it in your eyes, so don’t try to fight it anymore.”

  The door was s
till open from him, but there was no way that I was going to say anything. I was too worried about the hard man on top of me and what he was going to do next. Joel’s dark brown eyes looked down at me and I heard myself whimper. It was not a sound that I would have liked to cop to, but I knew that it was my lips that had made it.

  “Tell me that you want me Cameron.”

  I wanted to, the words were literally stuck in my throat and I couldn’t. I didn’t know how I was supposed to say such a thing, especially not out loud. Why couldn’t he just see that I wanted him? He had to know it, but I could see the determination in his eyes. What did he want me to do, beg for it? It was something that I refused to do and when he told me to tell him again, I shook my head.

  “You don’t want this?”

  He looked almost aghast and before I could think of what I was doing, I was pulling him down for another kiss. I didn’t want him to go anywhere. It was the last thing on my mind and if he left me then, I was sure that I was going to explode or something of that nature was going to happen. I was past the point of no return.

  “Forgive me Cameron, please.”

  How could I say no to him? I wanted to forgive him, but he had made everything so complicated at work. I didn’t know what to do about it and a job that I loved was now one that I dreaded. “I just don’t know what got into you Joel. Why would you think that Stephen and me were together? And why would you be mad when we aren’t even together?”

  “What is this then?”

  I shrugged and didn’t want him to see how bothered I was by it all. “I don’t know what this is, but it isn’t an excuse to attack someone. What if he decides to press charges?”

  Joel didn’t seem too bothered by it. My mind was finally working and every question that I asked him was one that I had asked myself over and over again. While I didn’t like what he did to Stephen, the truth was that I didn’t want him to get in trouble either. I just wanted him to see how stupid that was so he wouldn’t do something like that again.

  “So what if he does. I will pay a fine and go on about my business. Is that really what you are worried about?”

  “Yes.”

  “You don’t sound so sure.”

  It was hard to be sure of anything with him literally on top of me. How was I supposed to think like this?

  “I am sure that is what you worry about. Are you mad that I hurt your boyfriend?”

  Sighing to myself, I started to push him off of me. “You really just don’t get it, do you Joel?”

  I heard someone coming up the stairs and finally remembered that the door was open. I didn’t want gossip going around in the building about me and Joel, so I practically pushed him off of me. He was reluctant, but finally did as I was making him do.

  Standing at the door, he shut it, but was still on the wrong side of it.

  “I don’t get you.”

  “You don’t have to get me Joel. We are just friends and this has to stop. You have to promise me that you will never come into my apartment like that again.”

  He was struck by the tone of my voice and if I was honest with myself, I was as well. There was something about it that made it clear what I was feeling. I felt like I had been fooled and there was no way that I was going to let it happen again. I had a bit of a weakness from him, but that didn’t stop the fact that he had just came in like he had a right to. I never would have let him in, not after what he did to Stephen. If he hadn’t gotten his hands on me, I wouldn’t have lost myself around him.

  “Cameron…”

  I went to the door and moved past him with my hand, opening the door that he had so recently shut. I needed space and time to think. There was too much going on in my head to deal with him.

  “Just go, please.”

  Chapter 9

  Joel

  “Man, it has been a long time.”

  “I still can’t believe you are here Carlos. What are you doing down here?”

  Carlos looked around at all of the beautiful women passing by on the street. The bench was right outside the bar that we had lunch in. It was a hot day, but I was already getting used to the heat. Carlos didn’t seem to be as acclimated, but the scenery seemed to help him cope.

  “I just wanted to come and visit. I needed a change.”

  “How’s the wife?”

  The look told me all that I needed to know. His new found paradise was short lived. I didn’t have the heart to ask anymore. I didn’t want to hear that him and Eve had called it quits. I liked the idea that maybe both of them would find love. I don’t know why I liked the idea of it so much, but I did. It gave me the hope that maybe I had a chance to find real love too. Their love had seemed so real.

  “So are you seeing anyone? I know that there are a lot of hot women around here to choose from.”

  I thought of Cameron, but there was no way that she would consider us together. I still did in my mind, even though I knew that I had no claims to her. All I really wanted to do was talk to her, but she had made sure that there hadn’t been a word spoken between us in a long time. I had no choice but to go with what she wanted. It was hard and talking about it certainly wasn’t going to help. What was going to help was focusing on someone else’s problems instead of my own. I didn’t want to tell my cousin that I loved her and her name was Cameron.

  “There is this one chick…”

  Carlos shook his head and smiled at me. “Man, there is always this one chick. That is the story of my life. “

  “Is that why you and Eve aren’t together anymore?”

  “No, we are still together.”

  “Does she know that?”

  He kind of grinned at me and then he just shook his head. “Yes. We are just fighting a little bit. That is perfectly normal from what I hear. I don’t know.”

  “So why are you here then Carlos?”

  “I don’t know. I wanted to see you and ever since I found out she was pregnant, my head is twisted. I don’t know if I am ready to have a kid. I mean, what if I really fuck everything up?”

  I thought about his father and how Carlos used to be a long time ago. I still thought about him as a kid when he was so adamant about not being who he turned into for so long. His father was a womanizer and had devastated his mother and him when he was younger. I didn’t want to tell him the resemblance. I didn’t think he would forgive me for it, so I kept that to myself. I really hoped that Eve would pull him from his ways.

  “You are going to do fine Carlos. I think everyone kind of freaks out when it comes to kids and all of that. It is natural to be freaked out. You just have to not worry about it. Everything works itself out.”

  He smiled and sighed as he closed his eyes for a moment. “See, this is what I needed. I knew that you would have the right thing to say to me. I just am freaking out. I know it’s all in my head, but I’m too young for all of this.”

  “Just don’t mess it up trying to pretend you are something you are not. Don’t mess it up with Eve. You will regret it.”

  Carlos made a sound and I watched a small dog run his owner around the small park across the street.

  “So what about this girl, Joel? Are you going to tell me about her or introduce us? I want to know what you have hooked down here with all that I taught you.”

  I paused and my mind shifted to the only woman that I could think of anymore. I wanted to tell him about her, but then I realized almost at the same time that I really didn’t have much to say. It was just one kiss and after I beat up her co-worker for pretty much no reason, there was no going back. I hadn’t seen her since.

  “Come on Joel, don’t keep me waiting.”

  “Well I fucked things up with her, what can I say?”

  “Did you do what I told you to do?”

  I shook my head that I hadn’t and he looked at me as if I was the last idiot on earth. “If you didn’t do what I told you Joel, what happened? Did you get all emotional?”

  I hated the question or more than that, I hated the
fact that my cousin knew me so well that even he knew that I was going to fuck it all up. I wished that he was wrong. I looked away and it was a dead giveaway of what I was thinking about.

  “Come on Joel, I told you that chicks do not dig the emotions. The only emotions that we are supposed to feel is anger. They dig that broody type.”

  “That was what happened. I ended up getting into a fight with someone that I wasn’t supposed to and I think I ruined it.”

  Carlos just nodded like he understood. “If you lost it like that, she will be back. All women like that.”

  “Not Cameron.”

  “Ah, so she has a name now.”

  I stopped when I realized that I had just given him what he wanted. I should have known that Carlos was pumping information out of me.

  “So where does she live?”

  Turning towards him, I got up and asked him if he wanted to walk with me a while. It helped me think and got me off of the bench. I didn’t want to tell Carlos the truth. The truth was that she was so close, but still so far away.

  “She lives above me at the complex.”

  “How convenient. I told you that convenience always wins out. If all you have to do is go upstairs for some nookie that is perfect. It will be a lot easier than a girl that lives across town. You just need to go over there and lay it down. If you can make a girl come enough, she isn’t going to go anywhere. This I promise you.”

  He was probably right, always was, but I couldn’t admit that I hadn’t even gotten that far. I wanted to, more than anything. There was something holding me back and I wished again that I had his confidence. The apartment building came into sight and I tried to get him to drop it. The last thing I needed was for Cameron to over hear us or for Carlos to see her. If he did, then he would know who she was and what she meant to me.

  “So where is she?”

  Carlos had been quiet for so long, but that had passed now and he was back on target.

  “I think she is at work or something like that.”