True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3))

by Kelley, Morgan

  “The day he was killed, can you tell me where you were?” he asked, and felt his wife tense beside him, and didn’t quite understand why.

  “I own my own book store, you should swing by and see if you find anything you like,” she smiled a big smile. “At night I generally go out for a drink and some company. You can check at the bar. I’m sure they’ll know if I wasn’t there. I’m always around and available for a sexy man.”

  Blackhawk knew the woman was headed for an ass kicking, but he just pushed forward with the questioning. Ignoring how the woman was now taking off her jacket, and underneath was a white sweater that was cut way too low. If her intent was to distract him with her assets, it wasn’t going to work. One- blondes were a big turnoff, and two- his wife’s hand was on his thigh. That he was big on, and he wouldn’t flirt in front of his pregnant wife even to help a case and get information.

  Elizabeth felt her blood pressure rise. She played calm, but at some point, it was going to be hard to control.

  “Have you seen any of these men before?” Ethan Blackhawk pulled out the autopsy photos, just because the woman was baiting his wife, and that pissed him off. He purposely left the Bobby Lee one in the pile to see her reaction.

  She flipped through them, emotionless. Even the one with the man she was sleeping with and that spoke volumes about the woman. She was stone cold. Elizabeth watched her and made notes.

  “This one,” she said, pointing to the same man that Wilma May had picked out the day before. “I was in here, and he was getting coffee.”

  “Thank you, Ms. Kester,” he said, not bothering to look up.

  Carly pulled a card from her pocket and slid it across the table. “If you find yourself bored,” she winked. “Give me a call and we can get a drink.”

  “I’m very happily married, Ms. Kester, to the love of my life.”

  “Yeah, since when does that stop men?” She leaned forward flashing the goods. That always worked with the guys.

  Elizabeth had it. She was going to lean in and show her husband her chest then there were going to be repercussions for her actions. Elizabeth moved her hand fast, and the glass of vegetable juice tipped precariously and fell splashing on the woman and her white sweater.

  Carly jumped up appalled. “This is angora!”

  Elizabeth leaned back smiling. “It looked better on the rabbit, and for the record, the next time you plan on playing footsies under the table with my husband you may want to make sure it’s his foot and not mine.”

  That explained why his wife tensed, and he started to laugh.

  The woman was almost as red as the vegetable juice, as she grabbed her jacket and turned to leave.

  “Wilma May, can I get another juice?”

  Blackhawk watched the woman storm away, “Nice one. I thought for sure you were going to beat her to a pulp, but the juice, that was a new one.”

  Elizabeth smiled up at Wilma May when she brought another juice. “Thank you.” She wiped the spilled juice up and handed her the rag. No need for her to clean up her mess. “Violence is overrated,” she said sipping her new juice.

  “I love you, Lyzee,” he leaned over and kissed his wife. “Very sexy how you controlled yourself until the very end. Well timed too.”

  “I try,” she grinned. “So, what do you think about her other than her chest?”

  This wasn’t his first rodeo, and he wasn’t falling for that one. “She had a chest?” Blackhawk said it with a straight face and earned himself a kiss. It was a deep one that she normally wouldn’t hand out in public.

  When they broke the kiss his entire body was tingling.

  “That’s for not noticing she had a chest, and saving your pregnant wife’s heart.” She knew why he did it, and it was appreciated. Now that she was getting bigger and feeling more insecure, her husband was doing everything right.

  “I only think about your chest. Specifically your chest in the number you wore the other night.”

  Elizabeth stroked his cheek and took a moment to just stare into his eyes.

  “Do you both need anything else?” interrupted Wilma May.

  Ethan Blackhawk was the first to look away. “No, thank you.”

  “If you don’t mind me saying,” she said, looking over at Elizabeth. “You two are cute together.”

  Elizabeth grinned at the woman. “I think you may be the first to ever say that to us.”

  “Well, you are and Carly’s a bitch and deserved that juice. In fact, that juice that was on her is now on me. That was well worth seeing.”

  Now Blackhawk laughed. “Don’t get my wife started.”

  “She has a nasty habit of looking for men that she has no business being with, and enjoying the thrill of breaking hearts. She preys on men that should be off limits like married men. To her it’s nothing more than the thrill of the hunt.”

  Elizabeth nodded. She’d ass kick the woman to Siberia if she thought she could pull that off with Ethan Blackhawk.

  “I like you, so watch your man,” she said to Elizabeth before walking away.

  Ethan could see the worry on his wife’s face. “Want to talk about it?” he asked, seeing the emotion.

  “I feel fat and wobbly.” Elizabeth sniffled.

  “What?” Ethan was surprised. “Baby, I don’t think you’re fat or wobbly. Ok, you’re wobbly,” he said, smiling gently when she gave him the look. “But definitely not fat. You’re all baby and from behind you definitely don’t look pregnant. Why do you think I spend all day walking behind you? Trust me it’s a superior view, Baby.”

  Elizabeth fought to control the hormones and wondered if she should tell him what was bothering her. Finally she figured if she could share her worst secrets this should be nothing. “I know, I’m just an emotional wreck, and when I wasn’t pregnant it didn’t bother me when women hit on you in front of me, because,” she paused and then continued, “I felt attractive at least.”

  There she said it.

  Ethan lifted her chin and kissed her on the lips gently. “You’re having our child. That’s a miracle. I’m not my father, Elizabeth, so stop thinking I’ll cheat on you.” Blackhawk’s voice was filled with tension that she doubted his fidelity.

  Immediately her face said it all. “I didn’t mean that you were.” Elizabeth suddenly closed up. “I shouldn’t have said anything,” she said putting it all away. “It was a mistake. I’m sorry and I’ll never bring it up again.”

  Blackhawk realized he made a huge mistake. She didn’t doubt him, but herself. If she couldn’t be open with him, who could she be open with. “I’m sorry. It’s a touchy subject for me still. I don’t want you to ever think I’d cheat on you.”

  “It’s okay. It’s my issue and not yours.” Elizabeth changed the subject. “I think Carly could be a possible suspect. She had potential contact with one victim, is blonde and is known to be on the prowl for men.”

  “Elizabeth,” he said her name wishing he hadn’t brought up anything about his father. His wife was shutting him out, and he didn’t know how to get her to open back up. “I’m sorry.”

  “Let’s just worry about the assignment. That is why we’re here. Nothing else should matter or distract us.”

  The topic was closed and she wasn’t going to discuss it.

  Blackhawk sighed. “I think she could be a suspect. When she looked at the death pictures, there was nothing there. No remorse or even shock.”

  “What’s next?” she asked packing up the photos, unable to look at him, or she’d break down. She’d opened up and trusted him with her insecurity, and he didn’t get it. Why would he? Ethan Blackhawk was sexy, had his body and wasn’t fat and wobbly.

  “I’m going to text Callen, and make sure that everything is okay there.”

  “Good idea. Then where to?”

  He knew what might cheer her up. “Want to go to the bar, baby? I say we head to the bar and confirm her alibi,” he looked at his watch.

  “I feel so redneck and backwoods,” she
drawled, in her accent saved for when she was angry or upset. The fake happiness didn’t reach her eyes. “Come on, baby daddy, let’s go warm some bar stools at two in the afternoon.”

  Ethan knew he screwed up big time, dumping his issues on her instead of hearing what she was opening up to him about. Now he needed to fix her heart and be a better listener and husband. Immediately he started planning on a way to do just that.

  * * *

  Desdemona found the note he slipped under the bathroom door. It asked her to take her time while he set up for their date, and that he’d pick her up when he was done. She smiled like an idiot as she kept reading it over and over again. So she did just what he asked. After her shower she put on perfume, blew out her hair and got dressed. It wasn’t like she brought a ton of relaxing clothes, so she pulled on a simple t-shirt and jeans.

  When she ran out of things to do, she noticed he had books in his bedroom and decided to sit in the reading chair against the window and enjoy a book. Checking the selection, she reached for one she’d never read before.

  It was hard to not be drawn to the selection of photos sitting on his nightstand. There was the Pilgrim photo that she’d seen at the Blackhawk house. There was a photo of Callen dancing with Elizabeth at what must have been the wedding on the Rez. One photo was of the two brothers dressed in turquoise and holding beers, their arms around each other. Then the last one was Whitefox kissing her on the lips and dipping low, again at her wedding.

  It was hard to not feel jealous. The man she was trying to have a relationship with was currently in love with another woman. The look in his eyes was obvious, but then she pushed it down. He’d already told her that he was and that family came first, and Callen admitted the truth, and she’d lied, saying it was fine.

  Desdemona flopped down in the chair and got lost in the book. When she heard the door open she looked up, and he was standing there and he changed too. He was wearing flannel and he looked masculine and sexy in it.

  “Find a book to read, sweetheart?” he asked, watching her from the doorway. His heart flipped in his chest, as he opened the door and saw her sitting in his chair, legs thrown over the arm and his book in her lap. There was no doubt, she’d fit in his life. They definitely could make it work. Now he only had two hurdles left. Make her see that, and his grandfather.

  “Is it date time?” she asked, taking her glasses off and placing them on the book in her lap.

  “Did I take too long?” he inquired, moving to her and taking the book and glasses and placing them on the bed stand. They looked right there together. Completely and totally right together as a little of him and a little of her came together and mixed with the people he loved most in the world.

  Desdemona didn’t miss how he meticulously fixed the pictures she’d just been inspecting, or how he reverently touched the one of him kissing Elizabeth, moving it forward in the group.

  “No, I got lost in a book.” Desdemona stood, and when he scooped her up, she laughed. “I guess you meant literally pick me up for the date.”

  “I did.”

  Desdemona didn’t know what to say when he carried her out into his living room. He moved all the furniture out of the way, and had a fire lit and a tent set up in his living room. Callen Whitefox was taking her camping. “Wow.”

  “So, you said you like camping, and I figured I couldn’t go wrong then with camping for our first date.”

  She didn’t know what to say. It took him hours to set this up. All for a first date. Suddenly, she wanted to cry. Yeah, she was completely in love with him. If he’d do this for her, when he knew he was going to get sex regardless, then he was most definitely a good man.

  “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, turning her and wiping the tears that already fell. Now he was a nervous wreck. It couldn’t be a good sign that she was crying. Maybe she hated camping. Well crap. Now what?

  “Callen,” she pulled his face down to hers and stood on her toes to kiss him, long and sweet. “This is amazing,” she said looking into his eyes. “Thank you, I won’t ever forget this, for as long as I live.”

  He relaxed and wrapped his arms around her. “Well, I screwed it up, and this is the date you deserved.” Whitefox kissed her again, and didn’t miss that she smelled like his soap and her shampoo and it turned him on incredibly. It was more mixing of his life and hers, proving they could move together seamlessly.

  “Mmmmm…” she kissed him back. “Okay, before we make out all night, I’m ready to be impressed.”

  He grinned wickedly. “I ordered us dinner,” he laughed at the look on her face. “It’s meat free. I swear,” he led her over to the fireplace. “But first, we have dessert.”

  She laughed. “Works for me,” she took a seat on the blanket in front of the fireplace, and watched him open the wine, and pour it in two glasses. He sat beside her and opened a picnic basket.

  “I hope you like chocolate,” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

  “Callen, I’m female, don’t be silly. I’d marry chocolate and have little baby chocolates if that were possible.”

  He laughed and kissed her. When they were alone, she bloomed, and gone was the fear and trepidation. Out came the woman buried behind the shell. “How do you feel about Smores?” He risked it, and hoped she’d like them.

  “Love them!” Desdemona helped him set them up and was enjoying their time together. When it was all over, she wondered if this would continue. Packing up and leaving him would hurt.

  “Me too.” Whitefox put her marshmallow on a stick and handed it to her, then did his. Together they toasted them in the fireplace.

  “I think I may never camp outside again. You ruined it for me with this date.” Desdemona smiled and blew the flame out on her marshmallow.

  “We can do this whenever you want,” he said, watching her make her Smore, and waiting to see if she’d acknowledge what he just said to her.

  Desdemona took a bite of the gooey mess, and then held it out for him to take a bite too. “Best part is sharing the Smore,” she said, and then licked her finger.

  “Agreed,” he replied, wanting to say so much to her. “Desi?”

  “Yes, Callen?” She took a sip of her wine.

  “When this assignment is over, what then?” he asked, wanting to see what she planned on doing. He knew where he was going to be.

  “What do you want to happen?” she asked, carefully.

  “I think we should take it past dating and exclusively see each other and only each other.”

  Her heart skipped a beat, and her pulse quickened at how fast he was moving. “Then I think we should see where it goes, together.”

  Callen leaned over, kissing her. She tasted like chocolate and wine, and he was completely drunk on her already. His intent was to start the kiss, then pull back, but she pulled him closer, and he didn’t think he’d have the control to back away from sex with her again. “If you don’t stop now, I won’t be able to,” he whispered, as her hands went to his chest and she began unbuttoning his shirt.

  “I don’t want you to stop,” she answered, and continued unbuttoning his shirt. “This is after all dessert.”

  “Good,” he replied and moved towards her, laying her on her back on the blanket. He continued the kiss, even as she pushed his shirt from his shoulders and ran her fingers over the tattoos on his body. His heart began thundering in his chest.

  “I like your tattoos,” she whispered against his lips. “They’re sexy.”

  “When you wear the little skirts and tights with skulls on them, it gets me really hot and bothered,” he admitted, and when she laughed. He looked down at her, she was smiling at him. “And the little black glasses, they make me want to jump you right then and there.”

  Now she was giggling, until he pulled her t-shirt off and began kissing his way down her throat, and to the valley of her breasts.

  Desdemona felt like he was lighting her on fire. His mouth was burning a trail across her body. She reached up, and set his h
air free. Rarely did he release it. It fell around them and tickled her flesh and turned her on. When he reached her belly button, and swirled his tongue she moaned his name.

  “I just want to spend all day tasting you, Desi. All day,” he mumbled, and then continued on his exploration lower. When he met the button on her jeans, he flicked it open, just like she’d done to him. When he slowly slid her jeans down her hips, he wasn’t expecting the erotic looking panties waiting for him. They were lacy and looked like sin, and immediately he hardened more, and was desperate to just taste her and see the prize waiting beneath. He pulled them off, and his body shook from what he wanted to do. He wanted to bury himself in her repeatedly, but he kept saying the mantra.

  First date sex not everyday sex.

  First date sex not everyday sex.

  Finally, he regained control of his body. But he was going to devour her, and he wasn’t going to stop until he was satiated.

  When his fingers slid deep into her body, and he began licking and tasting her, she arched at the sheer pleasure of it all. “Callen!” she gasped, when he did something creative with his mouth.

  He was lost in the way she tasted and felt and didn’t think of anything but giving her complete and total pleasure. Callen needed her breathless and exhausted beneath him. There was no way he’d let her leave him, and he’d make sure she couldn’t live without his touch, and his hands on her body. As she started shaking beneath his mouth, he swirled his tongue, and when he sucked on the most sensitive part of her body, she exploded and buried her hands in his hair.

  Desdemona couldn’t even think, and he started working his way back up her body.

  “You’re delicious Desi,” he purred into her ear. “This time you’ll scream my name, and we’ll keep going until you do,” he demanded possessively. He only hoped he could handle it, and follow through.

  Staring up at him, she would have done anything he wanted, since she still was unfocused. When he stood, and began unzipping his pants, sliding them down his body, she was mesmerized. As he stood in front of the fireplace completely naked, all she could think was how amazing his body was. No not just amazing but pillaging warrior amazing, all lean lines and perfection, meeting at delicious angles.