True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3))

by Kelley, Morgan

  “Desi, I’m sorry. It wasn’t funny. Please let me in,” he begged. Way to go on screwing up re-do date number one. When he didn’t answer he got desperate and pulled his pocket knife out and popped the lock. Once inside he found her lying on his bed, face buried in his pillow and sobbing. “Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”

  He pulled her into his arms, and kissed her tears away. “I didn’t mean to upset you like this,” he said, as she held onto his body and sobbed. Her tears ran down his bare chest.

  “I have to get far away from you,” she sobbed. “I don’t want to see you get hurt because of me.”

  “You can’t leave, and we’re going to live together. Do you want to live here or in your house?” he continued, ignoring her words and forcing her to comply. When she was running it was best to yank her back and give her no choice. By taking her choice away, he’d keep her safe and give him the same life Ethan had built.

  “Callen! You’re not listening to me. If you stay around me, you’ll get hurt.”

  “Stay with me and I promise you protection. Nothing will hurt you if you just stay by my side. I’ll take care of you forever and love you.”

  It wasn’t lost on Desdemona that he mentioned protection first and then love, but wasn’t that what she always wanted? To feel safe for once and to belong? Callen had a pretty amazing family and just to be part of that warmed her heart and gave her hope. With time she knew she could get him to love her more.

  “Stay Desi, and let’s start something really great together.”

  Part of her was screaming to her, warning it was all too fast. The other part of her was taking in the man before her, and the amazing body he had. The sex was stellar and the family was loving. The pros outweighed the cons. So what if she didn’t own his heart? What could possibly happen? Elizabeth was a happily married woman. Again, her mind and heart went to war, and she was prisoner until it was decided.

  Watching her face, he knew the minute Desdemona had come to a decision. “It’s my life, I get to decide if I risk it for love or not. A life without love or a short life with love, and I choose love. I’m offering you protection and love.”

  “Where will we be safer?” she finally asked, laying her head on his shoulder. Her brain lost again, and her heart made the decision.

  “After the assignment your house is safer. There are houses around it, it’s in a more public place, and Ethan and Elizabeth are right behind us.”

  “Can we get a dog?” she asked.

  Callen laughed. “Yes, we can get a dog. A loud barking one with very big teeth and that likes strangers for breakfast.”

  “Can we get a tall privacy fence like Ethan and Elizabeth have?” she asked.

  “Yes.” He kissed her on the forehead.

  “Gun turrets?”

  “What a coincidence. After Ethan finishes building the tree house, they’re on ‘Elizabeth’s Honey-do’ list. I bet she’ll share.”

  Desdemona laughed. “Of course they would be. I wouldn’t be shocked.”

  “Now, how about we go have dinner and I try to salvage this date. Unless you plan on letting me have a re-do on a re-do.”

  She laughed. “You don’t need a redo on this date. I think it’s a pretty spectacular date. Great sex, camping and you told me you loved me. This is a really good date.”

  “I’m glad,” he smiled, never noticing she didn’t say the words back to him. Whitefox was just so excited he finally got her to concede. If she stayed, he could keep her safe. He led her out to the take out. “Do you want to sit by the fire or at the table?”

  “Camping doesn’t have a table,” she replied, laughing. “What’s for dinner?”

  Whitefox walked over with a pizza and two salads. “Salad and pizza, there’s no meat because I promised.”

  “I love you.”

  “Because I ordered a pizza and salad? We can have it every night for dinner if that’s the case. ” It was hard to not feel smug that everything was going as he planned.

  “No, but because you’re a really good man.” Desdemona watched him sit in front of her, and never had she met a man so honorable, and one willing to protect her. “Because your family is amazing and because I happen to think bossy, Native American men are incredibly sexy.”

  “Stay away from my brother,” he ordered, grinning.

  Desdemona leaned forward and kissed him gently. “I will, but not because you’re bossy, but because Elizabeth scares the shit out of me.”

  He snickered. “Here’s the big secret. She’s actually a pushover if she loves you. That’s how I get away with all my shit,” he answered, grinning. “She has a really big heart.”

  “I know she’s been okay with me so far, and she says ‘girlfriend code’, but you just told me you love me and what if that doesn’t make her happy, I mean…” She didn’t know how to phrase it, and she felt really nervous because she knew who held the first part of his heart and always would. Desdemona thought to the pictures on his nightstand and swallowed the jealousy.

  Callen looked at his watch. It was still early, and he pulled out his cell phone.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, appalled. “Callen don’t call her!” When he hit speed dial she just stared with her mouth open, as she heard it ringing on speakerphone. “Oh my God!”

  On the second ring she answered.

  “Callen darlin’, are you okay?” she asked, worriedly.

  “Yeah, beautiful I’m more than fine.” Whitefox glanced over at Desdemona. “I just told Desi that I loved her, and we’re moving into her house as soon as this is over.”

  There was a small pause.

  Desdemona started to feel nervous.

  “Okay, we can have dinner on Sundays. We’ll have to have Italian since Desdemona isn't big on meat. Does she like Italian?”

  “She loves it.”

  “Great, but I’m still making Ethan cook me meat, Baby Blackhawk has control of my brain for now. I won’t let my carnage contaminate her food.”

  Desdemona just stared. It was that simple to be accepted into his family? No questions asked?

  “We’re getting a dog, and a fence like yours. Can we put a gate in so I don’t have to walk all the way around the development to watch the game with Ethan?” he asked, opening his salad.

  “We should just make it one big fence and put in a pool. Desdemona, do you like swimming,” she inquired, knowing the woman had to be right there. The call had to be more for Desdemona’s sake, and not Callen’s. He already knew she’d support anything he wanted out of love.

  “Yes, Elizabeth I do,” she answered, finally finding her voice. The woman just ran them both over. If she believed Callen Whitefox to be a force to deal with, there was double trouble with Elizabeth and him teamed up.

  “Welcome to the family Morticia,” she said. “I told you Desdemona, spiders and flies!”

  Desdemona laughed, finally over the horror of the situation, and forcing herself to not feel off balance at how fast it was all moving. Her sanity had to be in question. It was hard to believe she just met them all.

  Callen was grinning, and grateful to his sister-in-law. Her open acceptance sucked some of the terror from Desdemona’s face. “Okay beautiful, I’ll email you later. I’m supposed to be on a re-do date and I’m pretty sure that calling another woman while on the date is a bad idea,” he said, grinning at Desdemona.

  Doctor Adare wanted to tell him that calling another woman beautiful was a problem too, but she swallowed it, unwilling to ruin the moment for either of them.

  “I think when you’re on a date it’s acceptable, but during sex it gets questionable.”

  Blackhawk laughed in the background.

  “Good to know,” he snickered. “Love you, Lyzee.”

  “Love you too, Cal. Love you Desdemona,” she added, and then disconnected the phone.

  Desdemona didn’t know what to do with all this. It was shocking enough to be plowed over by Callen, but now his family too. When she heard Elizabe
th tell her she loved her, she almost burst into tears. What she found with these three people was something she never thought possible. This morning she woke up without a family, and now she had one. Talk about moving at the speed of light. The scientist in her was appalled at her lack of common sense, but the woman in her was swept away with the romanticism of it all. Again, she hoped love would grow.

  “I’m sorry she calls you Morticia, I can talk to her if you want,” he said, sympathetically.

  There was uncontrollable laughter. “No way! Are you kidding? Elizabeth made me realize how amazing it is to be Morticia Addams.”

  Callen smiled and felt bad that he ever doubted Elizabeth. Now he owed her a big kiss for that one too. “Okay then, and spiders and flies?”

  Desdemona touched his cheek. “Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly,” she said, quoting her new favorite quote in the world. “Morticia Addams said it, and I plan on embracing my inner Morticia Addams.”

  “I say go for it. I support you in your attempt to channel your diva of death.”

  Desdemona laughed. “And you thought Elizabeth calling me Morticia was bad?”

  Whitefox grinned. “Yeah well, I have to be me and just for the record if my family is too much, we can stay here and give you some space from them.” He offered it because she just seemed suddenly overwhelmed. “I love my family; I hope you can tolerate them.” His family would either make or break them, because they were going to remain the same. It was his greatest hope to incorporate Desdemona into the fray seamlessly. Part of the plan was to spend as much time around them, not only for safety but so he could learn how to do this relationship thing. He needed a role model to navigate it seamlessly; Ethan was that model.

  She took a salad from him and popped the lid of the container. “No, we’ll stay there. You’re family doesn’t bother me. It’s nice to have people around that care about you and want to just keep you safe.”

  Desdemona went quiet.

  When she put down her salad, he looked over at her. “What’s wrong? Did I upset you?”

  “Can we eat later?” she asked, watching him carefully.

  “Yeah, what do you want to do?”

  Desdemona stood and went over into his lap and sat, kissing him. “I think I’d like to climb into our tent, and maybe,” she whispered in his ear what she wanted to do.

  Immediately, he pushed away the container. “I hate salad anyway,” he said, scooping her up as she giggled in his arms. “I’m never taking down this tent.”

  And he wasn’t.

  Thursday night

  Ethan Blackhawk sat on the couch with his wife sitting between his legs; they were lounging, relaxing, and checking out the incoming tech reports. They now had all the victims IDs and they could start tracking their last days.

  “Tomorrow we need to have the tech team head to the impound lot and search whatever cars are remaining that belong to the victims,” said Blackhawk.

  Elizabeth wasn’t listening; she was too busy reading the stomach contents reports that just came in from FBI West. “Ethan, I think we can safely say how they all died.”

  “We know they died of Ethylene Glycol.”

  “Yes, but now we know how the killer got them to consume it.” Elizabeth pointed to the information on her tablet, and waited for him to see what she saw. The wheels were starting to spin in her head.

  “They all had coffee,” he answered, thinking back to what they’d learned. “The one victim stopped in the ‘Cup of Joe’.”

  “We also have a blonde that works there.” As much as she liked Wilma May, the fact was, they all died with coffee in their stomachs, one victim was seen there, and she worked for a man that disrespected her and every other woman he met.

  “Tomorrow we need to head to ‘Cup of Joe’ and talk to the owner to find out more about Wilma May. I’ll talk to her boss and get her work schedule. You stay far away from him.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “Okay, Cowboy. Then I need to meet with Christina. I know that Ethylene Glycol is in antifreeze but I want a list of everything else that it comes in, just so we can start looking at all the possibilities.”

  “I have to send Callen an email. The tech team found nothing out of place there, and he needs to head back. I need him here to help me double team Carly Kester. “

  “Well if Callen isn't back, you’re not going alone. She’s a shark just looking for some juicy native flesh to sink her teeth into for a man-meal.”

  “I can’t bring you, Elizabeth. I don’t think she’ll buy the veggie juice was an accident, and the minute she sees you she’ll clam up.”

  Elizabeth snorted. “What Baby Blackhawk?” she spoke to her belly. “Baby says it was an accident and that she can kiss his momma’s…” Her husband covered her mouth before she could finish.

  “I’ll ground the baby if he’s cursing in utero.”

  She laughed and bit his hand. “Baby wants a name, Daddy.”

  Blackhawk sighed. “I know it’s just so hard. I know we agreed we’d use the names of our family, but we have Charlie, for your dad, Timothy for granddad, Wyler for my father, and then we tossed in Callen and Gabe. If we have to teach our son five names and then Blackhawk by kindergarten this poor kid is going to have to learn to write his name at two.”

  “Well, do you want to see my choice?” she asked, looking up at him, as she leaned against his body.

  “Yes,” he answered and watched as she opened a file that had baby ultrasounds, names and anything that she researched for the baby.

  Elizabeth showed him.

  “I say go with that one since my choice is very similar, but with one difference,” he said, typing it out and waiting for her opinion on his selection.

  “I like this one too,” she patted his leg. “I think we may have our name.” She knew where Ethan was heading with it.

  “I agree that we need a nickname,” he said, kissing her neck, as he protectively placed his hands over her belly. “I love you, Elizabeth,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m sorry about today.”

  Elizabeth looked up at him confused.

  “Today when you were telling me how you felt, and I assumed it had anything to do with my father and the history of his infidelities.”

  “Oh.” She’d genuinely forgotten about that, and usually did whenever they were alone together. Elizabeth was secure as a couple when women weren’t staring at her husband like he was a snack.

  “I want you to be able to come to me and tell me how you feel and not have to worry I’m going to accuse you of something.”

  Elizabeth remained silent on the topic.

  “Want to talk about it?” he asked gently, holding her hand in his.

  Elizabeth shrugged. “I told you, I feel fat and wobbly and when women hit on you it makes me feel insecure, because I’m obviously not what I was,” she said, waving her hand down her body, holding back the tears. It was a touchy subject for her. “It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.”

  “You're right, you’re not the same.” Blackhawk felt her tense. “Elizabeth, you’re so much more. You were just my wife before.”

  Elizabeth looked at him, and he got up from behind her and knelt before her.

  “You were just a wife and now you’re the mother of my son, and that elevates you to a status that no other woman can ever hope to achieve. I loved you endlessly before, but now I find that there is more love for the woman that is giving me such a treasure. We made a life together and that’s staggering.”

  “I try to not let it bother me,” she said sniffling, and then rubbed her hand over their child. “But I just don’t feel like me right now.”

  Blackhawk kissed her on the lips. “You won’t be pregnant forever,” he promised. “Then you’ll be the original you but still have the advantage of being the mother of my child. I’m in awe, in love, and hopelessly smitten with the bad ass wife I married.”

  “Okay, Ethan,” she said, feeling a littl
e better. “I can’t wait until these hormones are gone.”

  “Want to go upstairs, and roll around in bed with me? Despite you thinking you're fat and wobbly, I can’t seem to keep my hands off you, so I think it has to be you that makes me crazy.”

  “Are you kidding? Absolutely, Mr. Blackhawk,” she stood and reached down to help pull him to his feet. “And, I’m crazy, stupid in love with you.”

  “Mrs. Blackhawk, I think I’m supposed to be taking care of you and helping you stand, not you pulling me up.” He swung her up in his arms.

  “Mr. Blackhawk, I’ll always take care of you and have your back. When will you get used to it?” she said, kissing her husband and running her hands through his hair until it made him wild, and he deepened the kiss.

  “You can take care of me upstairs, and get the trashy lingerie out again,” he whispered and then ravaged her mouth like a starving man.

  When she pulled away her heart was pounding and she made a mental note to ask Desdemona where to get a year’s supply of sexy stripper panties.

  They were her new favorite thing.

  Friday Morning

  Whitefox woke up with a crick in his neck. They both opted to finish up the camping date by sleeping inside the tent. The good thing about that was the tent sex that they had randomly through the night, the bad thing about it was the hard floor didn’t make sleeping all that comfortable. Yet, Desdemona made it the whole night without complaining at all.

  Rolling over to cuddle with her, he found her space empty and her pillow cold. His heart began to pound in his chest, at the idea that she ran for the hills to escape him. Whitefox pulled on his jeans, and quickly unzipped the tent to hunt her down. Then he smelled the scent of coffee, and he was pretty sure she wouldn’t make him coffee and then run.

  Looking around, he noticed her jacket and boots were gone, and he went to the door, to see if the Denali was too. If she took off, he was going to be angry, mad, and incredibly hurt. Promises were very serious, and you didn’t break them.