True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3))

by Kelley, Morgan

  “Then consider yourself free of your promise that you made me years ago.”

  “I think I have to be dreaming,” he said. “Desi, pinch me please. My stubborn grandfather just admitted he was a control freak and then willing let someone else make a decision.”

  “Are you sassing me son?”

  Desdemona elbowed him hard.

  “Young woman, I will say this. If you break his heart you need to run fast. I suggest the witness protection program. I will be sending Elizabeth to clean this up.”

  She nodded and swallowed. When he looked directly into her eyes she felt like he was staring into her soul and wasn’t kidding in the least. The old Indian was dead serious. Crap!

  “Now, I need to ask about great grandkids,” he stated pleasantly. “I want lots of Whitefox great grandkids.”

  Desdemona laughed, she thought he was kidding. “Uh, well we haven’t gotten to that point in the relationship to even discuss that.”

  “There will be lots of kids,” Callen tossed in there. “Don’t worry. I plan on matching Ethan kid for kid. He plans on seven and I’m going for eight.”

  She looked over at him incredulously. “Excuse me? Shouldn’t I have some say in that Callen? Since I’ll be the one carrying, growing and giving birth to any children that we decide to create together?”

  Wyler laughed from the kitchen, and so did Timothy Blackhawk.

  “What’s there to discuss? Do you like children?” he asked, just so overjoyed that he was essentially getting his grandfather’s blessing, that he was completely giddy.

  “Callen, I love kids, but we aren’t even getting married,” she objected. “Don’t you think children talk is a little ‘cart before the horse? I refuse to discuss children at this point in our relationship unless you add the phrase ‘WAY down the road’.” Desdemona might be talked into living together, but having kids was a different thing. She was a product of who knew what kind of relationship. Her father was unknown, and her mother never married. Kids needed close consideration and more time than a week of knowing a person, as did marriage.

  “Desi, we’re going to get married and have kids.”

  Her heels were dug in on the kid thing.

  “You’re against marriage? Is it because of the entire situation where your life is at risk?” Timothy asked bluntly. “I will not be having any of my boys shacking up with a woman and having children outside of marriage. My great grandkids will have either Blackhawk or Whitefox as their last name. There will be no Adare children on the Rez.”

  Whitefox tensed at the idea they could even possibly have illegitimate children. There was no possible way he could let that happen- even if he had to drag her to a justice of the peace and make her sign the license. Better yet, he’d get Elizabeth to do it.

  “Someone threatened to kill who ever I love!” She couldn’t believe how stubborn this family was, and completely irrational. “Why does no one see the main issue here?” Now she felt herself heading into hysteria at being ganged up on over the topic.

  Desdemona felt bullied, and it made her uncomfortable.

  Callen dropped his arm over her shoulder and pulled her against his body. “She’s being silly.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Desi is absolutely going to marry me and soon.”

  Wyler came over and stood behind his father, placing his hand on his shoulder. He knew his father had been plagued with dreams and was worried.

  “It doesn’t matter, he’s already risked. What is coming is going to involve you both, and you won’t be able to run from it.”

  “He had a dream, Callen,” added his father. They all took his dreams very serious. The man foretold Ethan Blackhawk’s return, Elizabeth’s abduction, and now this. “He already knew about you being hunted, Doctor Adare.”

  Timothy patted his son’s hand. “The minute you met him, fate intervened young lady, and you can’t push him out to stop it. Now it has to play out from start to finish. You were the deer in the thicket, and the fox was defending you, standing in front of you. It’s already begun.”

  Whitefox touched her cheek, offering reassurance.

  “You’ve already pulled my boy into this.”

  Desdemona’s eyes filled with tears, and she couldn’t hold them back any longer.

  “Sweetheart, it’s okay,” Callen Whitefox tried to soothe her fear and sadness. “He didn’t mean it that way,” he said, as he gave his grandfather a look.

  Timothy stood. “Wyler, please take Callen outside for a little while. I wish to speak to the Doctor alone for a few minutes.”

  “Granddad,” he stood, objecting as he was terrified to leave her alone with him. “Please.”

  “Boy, unless you have Elizabeth in your pocket to talk me out of it, you need to show your elder some respect and get your behind out of my way. She is the ONLY one that has me wrapped around her finger, so move.”

  Callen weighed his option. He trusted that Elizabeth had handled it for him and it would all work out. Leaning down, he kissed her gently. “If you need me, I’ll be outside. He’s old. You can outrun him,” he said trying to get her to relax.

  Desdemona nodded and patted his cheek.

  Timothy waited until his grandson was gone from the house, and he moved to sit in his spot. There was no way he could be hard on this girl. She wasn’t tough like Elizabeth; he needed a softer touch with her and a great deal more tact. Taking her hand in his old weathered one, he looked into her eyes. They were an unusual shade of green. Deep in them he could feel the need to run, and he didn’t doubt she’d try. The woman had a great deal of baggage, and he was beginning to question what Elizabeth saw in her. The woman’s energy didn’t feel right with his grandson’s.

  “Tell me about you,” he asked softly, handing her a tissue.

  Desdemona wiped her tears. “I’m from the bayou. My grandmother’s a witch, my mom disappeared. I have one sister and I deal with the dead for a living.” It said it all. “I’m the worst possible person for him, and I can’t get him to see that. He’s stubborn and won’t run for his life.”

  Timothy nodded. “Are you in love with him?”

  “Unfortunately.” As she was well aware who owned his heart, and it wasn’t her. Again, she swallowed to keep it hidden.

  He laughed. “So you regret it?” he wanted to know what existed inside this woman, now that she held his grandson’s heart.

  “I don’t regret it. I just wish I could talk him out of it, and maybe save his life. Please, tell him he can’t be with me, make him walk away. Tell me what I have to do to make him hate me, and I’ll do it.” She wanted to beg the old man to help her buy some time. Time to rethink and focus on the facts and weigh the options.

  Timothy could see and feel the conflict. The woman wouldn’t intentionally hurt Callen, she was a confused mess. Elizabeth had been right about her. This little woman was scared out of her mind. “So you’d let him despise you, just to save him?”

  “I can face whatever is chasing me; I’ll risk my own life, but I won’t risk him. I would rather live without him and secretly love him forever, than risk him for a minute. I’m a horrible choice for him.” The tears were falling still, as she begged the man sitting beside her. “Help me save Callen, and get him as far away from me as possible.”

  Timothy could feel the issues bubbling to the surface, and once again he questioned what Elizabeth saw in the woman. He had a few choices, but he decided to let fate play its hand and lead where they were all heading. Timothy could feel the half-truths and the new the woman wasn’t being completely honest, but this was Callen’s journey. He was an old man and his time here was coming to an end. Now he needed to let the next leader of the family take her place and carry the men. “Are you willing to run from a chance at family?” Timothy patted her cheek, and wiped the tears with the palm of his hand.

  It was like he saw into her and saw the truth. What she wanted most was a family of her own, and a place to belong.

  “If you stay you’ll have a f
amily to protect you, Desdemona.”

  And he saw that too. Now she was wary of the man. He seemed to see her inner secrets. Coming here wasn’t a good idea.

  “If he loves you like you love him, losing you would hurt him beyond words, and if you ran he would certainly follow. Then who would protect his back from what chases you both?”

  Desdemona broke down, crying and feeling completely helpless and out of control. Less than a week ago she was in FBI West doing her job and now she was going to live with a man who was insistent she marry him and have kids soon. Desdemona’s brain started battling back for control and she was glad.

  Timothy remembered when the other woman in his boys’ lives came to him crying over Ethan. “You won’t face this alone. You will be protected little doe. If you run from him, he will continually bring you back. You cannot run forever. Maybe this is your time to stand your ground and let him keep you safe.”

  “What if he gets hurt?” she leaned against him, as he patted her shoulder.

  “The Blackhawks protect their own, and he’s picked you, Desdemona. You need to just accept it, and let him be the man. You’ll also have the protection of my son, myself, Ethan and Elizabeth. It’s time to stop running.”

  She sniffled.

  “Now, do you want to marry him and have a family?”

  “Yes,” she answered, trying to hide a lie. Desdemona would do anything to belong somewhere and be accepted. “It’s my secret wish, more than anything. I love him with all my heart.” What she didn’t tell him was how she didn’t believe he felt the same way, because he was head over heels in love with a married woman.

  “Then marry him and trust that this family will keep you safe. Elizabeth and Ethan won’t let anything happen to you.”

  “What can she do?” she laughed and cried at the same time.

  “Did you see the totem outside my home?”

  “Yes.” She didn’t get the allure, but it was their culture not hers.

  Timothy patted her hand. “The raven at the top is Elizabeth. She watches over all the men in this family, and I believe was sent here to do just that. I trust in her and you should too. Ethan is the other raven and as a boy he would be the one that warned everyone of oncoming danger. The fox is Callen and his gift is that he stands out but yet can blend in when need be. He will keep you safe. I am the bear. Fiercely territorial of its cubs and children and will have the Great Spirits guide my family. Then there is my son Wyler, the bull. He is a tiny bull on the back, but mighty with his stubbornness. We will close around you little doe, and keep you safe, all you need to do is choose to believe.”

  “I want to believe, but this stalker is crazy. Now he’s blowing up cars.”

  Timothy Blackhawk wiped a tear with his thumb. “Believe little doe, and you will see that anything is possible.”

  “If I become part of the family do I get an animal on the totem pole too?” she asked, sniffling.

  “You absolutely do little doe. What is it you wish to have as your spirit guide? Is there an animal that calls to you in here,” he asked, taping her over the heart. He was curious to know what she would pick as her animal. The choice would speak volumes.

  “I want to be the spider. Is that possible?” she inquired, wiping her eyes.

  “Why the spider?” It wasn’t what he expected from her at all.

  “Elizabeth shared a quote and I connected to it, and it made me relate to the spider. I don’t want to be a doe. I want to weave webs and be strong and scary.”

  “Our Elizabeth told you this, did she?” It was always obvious that his granddaughter-in-law was astute, but he didn’t think she’d be this astute. He could see her as the spider too.

  All doubts fell away about Elizabeth seeing the situation. Instinctively, she already knew what was coming. There was no mistaking it now.

  Desdemona told him the quote and he patted her cheek.

  “If you feel you are the spider, then by all means, who am I to question it?”

  “So I get to be on the totem?”

  “Anyone that marries into the family gets a place on the family totem, Desdemona.” He didn’t tell the woman that while the spider weaved webs and could scare; it also was the most fragile of creatures and the one creature Natives considered cunning and sometimes the bringer of death. They were untrustworthy, and generally those that hid the truth. From this moment on, he’d be very wary, but this choice had to be Callen’s. After all, he promised to do this for Elizabeth. “Stay and fight and we will stand beside you and in front of you.”

  Desdemona stared up at him and sighed. “What is it with all of you Blackhawks? Ethan is intimidating, Elizabeth is scary as hell, Callen is stubborn and then there is you? I didn’t have a snowballs chance in hell against any of you did I?”

  Timothy patted her cheek. Doctor Desdemona Adare would stay and fight and now it would be up to them all to keep her safe. “No you didn't not little spider. Not in the least.”

  “I guess I’m sticking.” Desdemona put her faith in people she barely knew and gained a family she always wanted.

  “Now, about having children,” began Timothy grinning.

  Desdemona Adare laughed, and couldn’t help but notice the older Blackhawk had the same endearing grin Callen had too.

  “Will you match Ethan and Elizabeth child for child?”

  Desdemona thought about it and laughed and just gave in to appease the man sitting beside her. “Sure, why not.” It wasn’t like they could force her to have children or get married. If Callen asked, she’d demand a long engagement, to make sure it was right. What was the harm in that? Logical Desdemona was back in control.

  Ethan walked into the ‘Cup of Joe’ ahead of his wife, and was pleased to find Joe Lemar sitting behind the counter. It was time to have some fun, and he rarely was able to be the scary one. It was usually his role to stand and intimidate, and he was happy to be bad cop today.

  “You,” he pointed. “In the back now,” he practically growled. “I hear your hand was on my wife’s ass,” he said it loud enough that a few patrons looked over at the commotion. It pleased him that the man went a sickly shade of gray. To make it even worse, he pulled his jacket back and showed him the gun and badge.

  Joe Lemar practically scurried like a rat back to his office. When both Blackhawks had entered and closed the door he began trying to find an excuse, but the large Native man shut him right down.

  “Is there a reason you felt the need to put your hand on my pregnant wife’s ass, Joe?” He stood very close to the man, staring down at him. “Are you looking to die?”

  “I-I-I,” he stuttered.

  “Now, Ethan honey, don’t hit him where the marks will show. You remember what they taught us in Quantico. Only use those special places, like his testicles.” Elizabeth managed to keep a straight face, and she wasn’t quite sure how.

  “Oh don’t worry baby. Joe and I are going to take a little ride, alone. Then we’re going to have a little talk, about what happens when you manhandle another man’s pregnant wife. Especially when the man can make you disappear. Hear that Joe, I work for the FBI, and you won’t be the first one I made disappear.”

  “Wait, please,” he begged, looking over at Elizabeth for help.

  “Stop looking at her, Joe. Or you may make me want to do something incredibly violent to the most delicate of your organs.”

  Joe looked down at the floor, and kept his eyes adverted from the pregnant woman to save his life.

  “You have two minutes to tell me everything I want to hear, or I walk you out of here in cuffs for the last time.” He stepped closer. “It won’t be hard to fabricate a story about how you tried to escape, and I had to shoot you in the back of the skull, Joe. Is that how you want to end your life? Running from an Indian through the snow?”

  Elizabeth actually had to hide her mouth behind her hand. She was so close to laughing at the visual in her mind, and his choice of words.

  “I’ll tell you anything you want
to know! Don’t chase me in the snow. I won’t even think about touching your pregnant wife again.”

  Blackhawk fought hard to not break down and laugh. “I want to know about this man,” he pulled out the victim’s picture. “Is this the one that had stopped in for coffee?” Ethan Blackhawk slid it across the desk.

  “I don’t know anything about him.”

  Elizabeth pulled out her car keys. “I’ll pull the vehicle to the back door, baby. No one will see him leave.” She walked towards the door.

  “Wait! Maybe he got coffee.” Joe Lemar was sweating profusely, and wringing his hands.

  “Tell me about Wilma May, your waitress.”

  “What do you want to know?” he asked, still staring down at his desk.

  Blackhawk straddled the chair in front of him, and pointed to the other chair. “Sit!” he barked. When the man jumped, he again fought for composure. “Start telling me about her personal life.”

  “She’s worked here maybe ten years.” He sat and wiped the sweat from his forehead before continuing, “Her old man kicked it, and she needed a job desperately.”

  “Her old man?” asked Blackhawk. “She’s what? Forty years old now?”

  “Yeah, she married some older man, and he ended up having the big one, but he never got the life insurance policy out of wife number one’s name, and Wilma May got nothing.”

  Ethan looked over his glasses and over his shoulder at his wife. That was most definitely a juicy bit of gossip.

  “What hours does Wilma May work?” asked Elizabeth.

  “Friday during the day, Saturday nights, off on Sunday and Monday, then rest of the week days.”

  Elizabeth leaned against the door, and watched the man. “How much time did she spend with the man in the picture, and did she make a new pot of coffee for him?”

  “No, I usually make the coffee when the ladies are busy.”

  Blackhawk stood. “I want to talk to your waitress in here. You have two choices regarding it, Joe. Comply or take a ride. Choose.”

  “I’ll get her!” Joe Lemar started moving towards Elizabeth, and tried to get past her carefully without looking up. Last thing he wanted was the Indian man killing him.