True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3))

by Kelley, Morgan

  “I went downstairs and stood over our dead tech, because he deserved to have one of his bosses there as he was cut open. I didn’t call his parents, or girlfriend because I knew you’d want to handle that, because you’re that kind of man. So I took one for the team, and watched him be autopsied.”

  “Doctor Adare closed the autopsy.”

  “She closed it to you, because we all wanted to keep you from losing it and doing,” she paused, and looked around the room, “THIS!”

  Blackhawk felt the rage receding.

  “I’ll even let you verbally slap at me because you’re hurting inside, and I’ll swallow it. But if you think you can tell me I have little faith in the man I married, then you know nothing about me. I have enough faith in you to start a family, and I have enough faith to give you my back when we go into a dangerous situation. I shared a secret that I swore to keep for our boss. That’s fucking faith, Ethan. I also know your breaking point, and this was it.”

  His cheek twitched.

  “I knew that you’d take this personally and you’d bleed in your gut over this, because you didn’t keep one of your own safe. My husband is an honorable man, and cares about people over his own feelings, so excuse me for wanting to protect your damn heart over this.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, finally breaking down. “I feel like I failed him. He was a boy,” he whispered, as the emotion overwhelmed him. “I sent him out, Lyzee.” He looked into her eyes, and found sympathy and a safe place to go when he felt broken inside.

  “This isn't your fault, Ethan. This is all about the killer, and how screwed up she is.” Elizabeth touched his cheeks with her palms. “You didn’t kill him and this isn't on you,” she whispered.

  Blackhawk let out a long shuddering breath, releasing the pain and anger he felt. Now came the time where he handed it to her and trusted her with it, even though he just was a complete asshole and didn’t deserve it. “Elizabeth,” he said, allowing the weakness out, moving into her arms. Holding on to his wife helped heal the pain from his heart. “I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said, looking at the mess. “I’m so sorry that I terrorized my pregnant wife.”

  Elizabeth rested her forehead against his, and held his hand. “I’m not afraid of you, Ethan. I am afraid that next time I’m going to lose my temper and kick your ass so hard you won’t walk right for a long time,” she whispered, and looked over when the door clicked open. There stood Callen Whitefox, and he tried to ignore the chaos all over the room, and focused only on his brother and Elizabeth.

  “You okay, Ethan?” he asked, moving towards his family, no fear on his face, only concern for his brother. He threw his arms around them both, and the three of them met with their foreheads in the center of the circle. It was a family offering their wounded spirit a little support.

  “I don’t know if I am, Callen.”

  “We’ll get you there,” he answered. “We have you, Ethan.”

  Elizabeth held onto both men, and she could feel her husband shaking. “It’s okay darlin’. We can carry this together.”

  Blackhawk was so grateful for his brother and wife, without them he didn’t know how he’d get through this. “I’m sorry I was an asshole, Callen, and snarled at you.”

  “Can I punch you?” he asked, grinning.

  “Go ahead,” he answered, his mood already lifting. Then one of them punched him. “HEY!”

  Both snorted.

  All three looked over as Desdemona came in and locked the door behind her. “Holy shit,” she muttered, looking around the room and the wreckage. “Mom and dad are never going to go away and leave us along again!”

  “I know, we’re so not getting our security deposit back after this kegger,” whispered Elizabeth, trying to not laugh.

  Both men snickered.

  “Can anyone join this party?” she asked, hoping to be part of their group, and to feel like she belonged with them.

  “Yes,” answered Blackhawk. He was really lucky to have all of them, and even the addition of his brother’s new woman. Just the fact she too wanted to protect him from being hurt over his tech’s autopsy had endeared her to him.

  There was a scraping sound as a chair was being dragged over, and the doctor stood on it. “What?” she asked. “Not all of us are as tall as you three,” she said, laughing. “My head can’t touch yours. I come up to your chests.”

  All three laughed and welcomed the woman.

  “Let’s reconstruct the room, I’ll buy us dinner, and then we can head back to the house,” said Blackhawk offering a peace offering to his family.

  “Yay, dinner!” cheered Elizabeth. When they all laughed she looked at them. “Hey, anyone here ever been pregnant before? NO? Then you don’t understand how exciting it is to a woman carrying a baby around.”

  “Okay, so how about I order from the Italian place, no meat tonight, just because,” Ethan said, knowing they all saw the autopsy.

  “That sounds like a plan,” answered Whitefox.

  “Great,” said Desdemona, “and then you all can explain to me why there’s a card downstairs with lip marks on it and Callen’s name followed by a big heart in evidence?” asked Desdemona, staring at each one of them with the look.

  “Gig’s up boys. You better circle the wagons, because ‘Chief Cut ‘Em’ up is about to attack. Women and children to safety first.”

  Ethan laughed at the reference. “Good to see that even though you turned over a new leaf, you didn’t give up on the Native American comments.”

  “Hiatus baby, nothing more than a small break from being crass and completely politically incorrect. Besides, it feels wrong unless I’m wearing my cowboy boots. I just can’t get into it. All this snow is ruining it for me.”

  “Hello! You both are trying to change the subject to protect him,” she pointed. “Callen James Whitefox, why are there lips downstairs?” Now she was looking back and forth at all three of them in the circle.

  “Oh crap, she used your full name,” laughed his sister-in-law.

  Callen did what he promised. “She made me do it,” he retorted, laughing when she tried to object.

  “Seriously? You just threw a pregnant woman who stood up to granddad for you, under the girlfriend bus?”

  “I certainly did, beautiful. It’s called self-preservation,” he answered, kissing her on the cheek.

  “Are you three always like this?” asked Desdemona laughing and deciding to stop being a spectator and join in for a change. She wanted family and here it stood.

  “Always.” Elizabeth snorted. “Okay, who just pinched my ass?”

  “Oops, sorry, Elizabeth,” said Desdemona. “Wrong ass.”

  “First the kiss, then the ass slap and now this,” snickered Whitefox. “This has to be the best week of my life and very hot.”

  They all broke apart laughing, and Blackhawk objected.

  “Hey! I didn’t get to see the kiss!”

  “Baby, you snooze and you lose,” she answered, patting his cheek. The storms had cleared from his eyes, and she knew he’d be okay now. The turmoil had passed and the man she married was back.

  “Let’s clean this up, there’s nothing we can do here until the DNA reports are in from FBI West.”

  “Come on! Just one kiss?” he begged, and then laughed when his wife sucker punched him in the side before linking arms with Doctor Adare and walking away. “The lingerie was awesome but a kiss would make it even better.”

  The woman laughed.

  “Wait, what lingerie?” questioned Whitefox curiously.

  Now Blackhawk grinned wickedly. “You have the kiss, but I have my wife sharing sexy lingerie with the doctor.”

  “HEY!” interjected Whitefox wanting more details.

  Blackhawk grinned, feeling very smug indeed.

  * * *

  Julian Littlemoon knew his town well. He wished it was his exceptional Native American skills, but really it was mostly about finding all the secret spots as a kid, and remembering which
ones would be big enough to hide an entire van. There weren’t many places in Red River, and if the van was indeed here, he’d find it.

  As for tracking his deputies last steps, that hadn’t been easy. He had people see him leave the sheriff station and head south, and then that was it. Somewhere out of town he’d disappeared. He had his feelers out, and someone should have seen something. It was only a matter of time.

  Crossing another location off the list, he hoped he found the van before it was too dark. If someone was hunting down men after dusk, he didn’t want to be caught off guard. Moving on foot through the trees, he kept his steps steady, and his eyes open.

  Julian would find the killer for Ethan Blackhawk. People of their heritage had to stick together.

  * * *

  Dinner was meant to be a time of socialization. It was a coming together of people to meet and discuss the day’s events-Especially if you worked for Elizabeth and Ethan Blackhawk. For them, dinner was a sacred thing, and if you joined them at the table, you brought your sense of humor and no baggage from work. When you looked at death all day long, no one wanted to talk about it over food. Food should be celebrated, even when death was knocking at your door.

  Callen loved his family, and he loved that his brother and Elizabeth welcomed the woman that he had every intention of marrying with open arms. It made it easier, that all of them were having a decent dinner and sliding together without issue. This is what he wanted, wasn’t it? An outsider like Elizabeth to fill the void in his life.

  Here sat the brother he loved, lost and loved again. A woman, who patched up the holes in his life, made everything better and held his heart. Then there was Desdemona Adare. He was still perplexed how to get her to marry him. Just the way he felt when he looked at her, the knots in his gut, and then her smile made him forget about being lonely. It was the same things he felt for Elizabeth on a daily basis. That had to mean he was making the right choice, but his brother’s words kept playing into his mind over and over.

  “Callen, you okay?” asked Elizabeth. He had the same look his brother got on his face when he was completely lost in thought.

  “Yeah, just thinking,” he said, eyes flickering to Desdemona. He was thinking about her again, and he was at a loss.

  Elizabeth knew him well enough to just see how whatever it was on his mind was plaguing him. Then the eye flicker gave it away. “So, Desdemona,” she started, and drew the woman’s attention. “Want to help me clear the table?” she asked, trying to get the woman to join her alone in the kitchen.

  “I’ll do it, baby,” said Blackhawk, and when she kicked him under the table he got the point. Girl talk was coming up, and they weren’t included. “Or Callen and I can work on something completely irrelevant, because I just dug a hole I have no hope of recovering from. One day I’ll learn to not ask my wife anything and question her motives because I am obviously out of her league.”

  Elizabeth pushed her chair back and leaned down to kiss him on the lips. “I married you because you’re so slick and can talk yourself out of everything,” she winked at him and patted his cheek.

  “Don’t worry, I’m coming,” said Desdemona. “Far be it for me to pass up being locked alone in the kitchen with a hormonal pregnant woman with a gun.”

  “Good luck.” Blackhawk laughed. “She leads with her right, just a warning,” he yelled over his shoulder. His brother looked mortified. “Don’t stress it, what’s the worst that can happen? It’s not like she can divorce you,” he teased.

  Callen wasn’t amused. This was the woman he was trying to get to say ‘I do’ not run from him like a maniac screaming. If the plan was going to end with what his brother had, he couldn’t have the woman terrorized.

  “Chill out bro,” he said, standing. “Let’s go sit on the couch, and let Lyzee do her thing.”

  “Great,” he muttered. Elizabeth was an amazing woman, but there were two things that she was notoriously known for, the first being her temper and the second being… well her temper. This was going to be a disaster. He just knew it.

  Elizabeth rinsed dishes and put them in the dishwasher. The woman helping her was smart, pretty and funny when she opened up. If Whitefox was just jumping the girl, and had no intention of marrying her, she’d stay out of it. But this was different. This was the girl dragging her feet and looked scared shitless and someone needed to find out why.

  “Are you just shacking up with Callen or do you have genuine feelings for him?” she asked, off the cuff and catching the doctor off guard. “I had to go to bat with Timothy for you to be allowed into the family, and I need to know what your intentions are with him.”

  “Excuse me?” Desdemona was surprised that the conversation had to do with her just sleeping with the man; she didn’t think she’d lead in with that as the starting point.

  “I love him, and I like you a great deal. You might even venture to say I love you too. But if you’re not serious about him, you need to cut him free, and I’ll make sure he heals and gets back on the horse to ride again.”

  “I see why he’s in love with you.” Desdemona hoped there was no animosity in her voice, since it was flowing through her body.

  “Is that why you’re hesitant? You think there’s some chance you’ll come home one day and find me in bed with your husband?” Elizabeth watched her face. That certainly wasn’t it. “Because let me assure you, I like my bed and my husband a great deal. I don’t cheat on the man I’m with.”

  “Now, with this bed scenario is your husband included and is there a swap?” she asked, rebounding from the surprise and coming back with the things that Elizabeth got.

  Humor and sarcasm she could appreciate, but not when Callen’s heart was at risk. “I don’t think so, Doctor. I’m attached to Ethan, and you’re evading the question. You’d swap Callen?” That didn’t bode well for her, and granddad had already warned her about what he was feeling.

  “No, I wouldn’t. I happen to be crazy about him and hopelessly in love with him.”

  She took Desdemona’s hand. “Talk to me. What has you so freaked out about being with Callen?”

  “I don’t want this nutjob to touch him. If he gets hurt because of me, how do I live with that, Elizabeth?” She told her about the card and the warning, but kept her intense jealousy to herself about how she believed Callen didn’t just love Elizabeth, but was IN love with her. Big difference.

  The woman was genuinely scared; she could see it in her face. “I won’t let anything happen to him or you.”

  It was said with such certainty that Desdemona almost believed it. “Timothy said the same thing.”

  “Listen to the sage advice from the old Indian. He’s wise and tells it like it is. As for both of you, I’ll keep you both safe. I promise,” she added. “I’m really good at defending the ones I love. I’m ferocious; I’m like a pit bull. I can guaran-damn-tee that nothing is going to touch either of you.”

  Desdemona thought about that, and looked over at her friend seriously. “He hasn’t really asked me, he’s ordered, demanded and told me that I’m marrying him. In fact, he told Timothy that he was going to have more kids than you and Ethan. Not once was I asked. A girl wants to be asked not ordered into a marriage. Then there’s the whole ‘moving very fast thing’ and please don’t tell me it worked for you, because I’m not you.”

  Elizabeth picked up on the hostility, and prayed her love for Callen wasn’t the source. That she couldn’t remedy, but first part of the problem she could.

  “He didn’t ask?” That was a typical man, although, she remembered the way her husband proposed. He got down on one knee, and her heart still fluttered thinking about it. “Go take a shower, and let me handle the man issues.”

  “Elizabeth,” she didn’t know what to say. “I want him to ask out of his free will, not you holding him at gun point.” What she wanted was him to tell her she was the love of his life. Maybe it was petty, but more than any other woman in the entire world.

  “
Damn, I can’t use my gun?” She tried to keep a serious face.

  “Elizabeth!”

  “I promise I won’t tell him to propose. I’ll be so subtle no one will even know what I’m doing,” she said, grinning. That scenario wasn’t likely, but why freak the woman out?

  Somehow she didn’t buy that. “This is going to bite me in the ass, I can tell. Why am I letting you talk me into this? I’m not sure I want to get married. I’m a logical person and this is going way too fast for me.”

  “Love isn't logical. When he asks, decide then, and go with your heart.”

  “I’m a scientist, logic is my baseline. I use my brain all day.”

  Elizabeth shrugged. “Be Morticia or be the scientist. You have to choose.”

  Desdemona stared at her, and weighed the options. It was a great family, and she was lacking one. Callen was sexy as sin, and he wanted her. There was a crazed maniac after her, and they would keep her safe. Even to a logical person it was a no brainer. Did love really matter in the long run? Maybe love would grow with time. “Crap,” she muttered and then left the room to go upstairs to shower. If he did ask, she could always insist on a long engagement to buy her time. If she said no, there was no guarantee he’d ever ask again.

  Damn it!

  What the hell was wrong with her?

  Elizabeth wandered out to the couch and sat between the two men. She leaned against her husband and dropped her legs across her brother-in-law’s lap. She’d found herself between them quite often at home on their couch in the same position. Callen was a fixture there, and she and her husband liked it that way. It was a comfortable easiness that the three of them found quite often.

  Until now.

  Callen was stirred up like a hornet’s nest.

  “Where’s Desi?” he asked, looking at Elizabeth. “You didn’t upset her did you?” he asked, and then took a shot to the ribs with her fist as her reply. “I guess that wasn’t a good question to ask,” he said rubbing his side.