A Love So Real: A Christian Romance (New Hope Falls Book 1)

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  The change of subject seemed to take her off-guard for a moment, then a mixture of emotions flashed across her face, and her gaze dropped to her food. She picked up a fry and dragged it through the small pile of ketchup on her plate.

  “You don’t have to talk about it,” Eli said, realizing that perhaps it might be a sensitive topic for her or maybe his assumption had been wrong.

  Her gaze lifted to meet his, and she gave him a small smile. “You aren’t wrong, and I don’t mind sharing. It’s just that it happened during a particularly difficult time in my life.”

  He reached out and touched her arm lightly, letting his fingers rest there for a moment before pulling his hand back. “I don’t want you to be upset.”

  “It’s okay. I promise.” She took a bite of her fry then swallowed before saying, “When I went to college, I didn’t want to stay in a dorm since I’d struggled with sharing space in boarding school and didn’t want to have to deal with that again. My parents didn’t argue, just found me an apartment in a safe building not far from the college. I had a two-bedroom apartment to myself and was loving it. I could study and make my videos in peace. There were other college students in the building, but they all shared apartments.

  “Across the hall from me, there were four girls sharing a two-bedroom apartment. They were noisy and had a lot of parties. One of the girls, however, was a scholarship student. She’d thought that sharing space like that would be cheaper than staying in a dorm. Unfortunately, part of her scholarship required she keep her grades up, and she was really struggling with that since her roommates were partying so much.

  “One night when they were having a really loud party, I went out in the hall to ask them to be quiet, and I found her sitting there with headphones on, her books in her lap. When I asked what she was doing, she explained she had a big test coming up and was struggling to study with all the noise, and then she burst into tears.”

  Anna ate another fry then took a sip of her water. “Ignoring the party, I helped her gather up her books and brought her into my apartment. Her name was Liz, and she changed my life.”

  “She was a Christian?” Eli asked.

  Anna nodded. “After that night, I told her she could study in my place whenever she wanted. Soon, I was inviting her over for meals and to watch movies. By the time the next school year started, we were roommates. It worked out well since I refused to take money for rent from her, which meant she didn’t have to work as much and could focus on her studies.”

  “That was nice that you were able to do that for her.”

  “It didn’t just benefit her. For the first time in my life, I had someone I considered a friend. A real friend. She was like the sister I never had, and a best friend all rolled into one.”

  “What happened?” Eli asked because he knew without a doubt that something had. If nothing had happened with Liz, Anna would have gone to her when she’d run from LA and wouldn’t have ended up in New Hope.

  “She got sick. Really sick. By the time they had diagnosed her with cancer, it was quite advanced. There wasn’t much they could do for her. She dropped out of school, but she still stayed with me to be closer to doctors, although her family were frequent visitors. I was able to bring people in to help her. We tried changes to her diet and natural remedies to combat the cancer, and while it didn’t save her in the end, I think it did give her time the doctors had told her she wouldn’t have.”

  “I’m so sorry for your loss,” Eli said, knowing even as he said the words how little comfort they would actually bring.

  “Thank you.” Anna tilted her head as she looked at him, the blue of her eyes even more vivid behind the sheen of tears. “In all the time I knew her, she lived her faith quietly but consistently. However, in the final months of her life, her faith shone even more brightly. In the midst of her pain and the sorrow she felt at leaving behind those she loved, she lived with joy and hope. She often spoke of heaven and those she would see there. Not once did she get angry at God for what the cancer was doing to her. That’s not to say she didn’t cry about it. She was in a lot of pain at the end.”

  Anna lifted a hand and brushed away a few stray tears that had escaped. “As the final weeks of her life played out, her favorite things were to have the Bible read to her and to have someone sing hymns and worship songs to her. I didn’t know the songs like her family did, so I left that to them. Instead, I read to her from the Bible. Reading those words to her, they became very real to me in the light of how she’d lived her life.

  “One night, when it was just the two of us in her room, I told her I wanted to have her assurance of heaven. I wanted the peace and joy that she’d had in her life and dying days. We prayed together that night, and I gave my life to God. She told me afterward that I’d made her the happiest she’d ever been and that she could die in peace. The next day, with me and her family all there with her, she took her last breath and left us.”

  Anna’s head dipped forward, and Eli could tell by the way her shoulders rose and fell, and the sound of her breathing that she was struggling not to cry. Moving out of his side of the booth, he slid in next to her. He put his arm around her shoulders, and when she leaned into him, he rested his cheek on the top of her head.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you about it here.”

  “It’s not your fault.” She took a deep breath, her shoulders lifting with the effort. “It’s been a few years, so I thought I’d be able to talk about it without getting too upset, but this is the first time I’ve told someone the full story.”

  “Do you want to leave?” Eli asked. “I can have Missy package up our food.”

  “No. I’m okay.” She straightened and reached out to grab a paper napkin from the holder, then used it to blot her cheeks. “I just didn’t expect it to hit me so hard. I think part of that is feeling like I’ve failed her as much as God when it comes to my spiritual walk.”

  Though he didn’t want to move away from Anna, seeing that she was pulling herself together, Eli moved back around to the other side of the booth. “What do you mean?”

  “After her death, I did okay at first. I went to the church she’d attended regularly and that I’d gone to with her a few times. But then I moved to LA, and I found myself reluctant to put myself out there. To become involved with a congregation. I didn’t know what to look for in a church, you know? The only reason I trusted that one on the East Coast was because Liz had, and I had trusted Liz. I still read my Bible every day, and I’d watch the services online from the church on the East Coast, but I didn’t try to find a church of my own.”

  “I’m sure that would be a challenge. I guess I was fortunate in that I’ve only attended one church, and it’s been good, so I’ve never had to go looking for another one.”

  “I stuck with the online services, until I made the decision earlier this year to involve myself in that fake relationship. I knew it was wrong, but I still allowed myself to be convinced that it was for a good reason. After that, I kinda stopped reading my Bible and didn’t watch the services anymore.” She gave him a half-smile. “But I did pack the Bible when I left LA, and when I saw the name of this town, it just felt like the perfect place to figure out my next move. And then I saw those plaques in the cabin with Bible verses, and I knew I was in the right place.”

  “Do you still feel that way?” Eli asked. “Even after the notes and the damage done to your car?”

  Anna nodded. “I refuse to be scared away from here when I feel in my heart this is where I need to be right now.”

  Right now.

  Those two words made Eli pause. It was a stark reminder—not that he really needed one—that this was not her home. Maybe God had led her to New Hope to allow her to heal and regain her faith before returning to LA to be a witness for Him there.

  “I had a time in my life where I struggled with my faith,” Eli said, wanting her to know that even having been a Christian for most of his life, he had experienced his moments of
questioning as well. Plus, he needed to tell her about the upcoming investigation and his role in it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Anna’s eyes widened, as if she couldn’t imagine that about him, despite knowing what he’d gone through with his father abandoning him. He wasn’t sure if he should be happy that she thought he’d been strong enough at eighteen to weather that without questioning God and his faith.

  Though he figured it was now or never to reveal what he’d kept from her, Eli wasn’t as willing to share his story in his aunt’s restaurant. “Why don’t we finish up here, and I’ll tell you about it back at my place. I need to do some work in my shop, if you want to come there.”

  “I’d love to,” she said with an eager nod. “You’re actually going to work on something?”

  “Yes. If I’m not going to work on the cabins today, I might as well do some work on one of my projects.”

  They finished eating, then left the restaurant together.

  “Do you want to drive to my place?” Eli asked. “Or drop the car at the lodge and ride with me?”

  Anna shrugged. “I might as well just drive out there.”

  “I’ll see you out there then.”

  Eli waited for her to pull out of the parking spot then he did the same, catching a glimpse of Coral and Pete as they walked out of the bakery down the street. He was glad they hadn’t come into the restaurant while he’d been in there with Anna. He didn’t want Anna to find out about his past with Sheila through yet another angry confrontation with Coral over his attendance at the anniversary event.

  Seeing them that close to Anna was just a reminder that sooner or later she would find out—whether it was seeing one of the signs up around town advertising the anniversary service, or from someone talking about the investigation re-opening. It was better if she heard it from him, and after she’d shared something so personal with him, this felt like the right time to share his story with her.

  Now if only he didn’t chicken out.

  ***

  Arianna felt her energy slowly dwindling as she drove to Eli’s. After the emotional recounting of Liz’s death, she just wanted to curl up somewhere and veg. Hopefully, Eli had a comfortable chair for her, but not too comfortable, or she’d be sound asleep in short order.

  Since Eli was behind her, she had to guess where it was best for her to park as she approached his cabin. But maybe it didn’t matter since they would both be leaving later to go to the lodge. After pulling to a stop next to where he’d parked last time, she got out of the car and waited for him to join her.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind me watching you work?” Arianna asked as they walked into the house.

  “I don’t mind at all,” he said. “In fact, I want you to be there.” He led the way to the kitchen, turning to look at her as he reached the fridge. “Do you want a drink?”

  “No, I’m good,” she said, taking in the beautiful kitchen he’d built. It was hard not to imagine how perfect it would be for a family.

  He opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. “Well, you can just come in and get something if you want.”

  Arianna followed him out of the house into the workshop, excitement building within her at the idea of spending more time with him while watching him work. But even more than that, she was looking forward to hearing him share a bit more about his life.

  “Hang on a second,” Eli said as he went back into the house. He reappeared a minute later, shouldering open the door, carrying an armchair. “I don’t really have comfortable furniture in my workshop. Hopefully this will be okay for you.”

  He set the chair down near another one that didn’t look nearly as comfortable, but Arianna supposed it was more practical for his work. “It looks fine.”

  The armchair had a comfortable seat and was wide enough that she could pull her legs up to sit cross-legged. It was a bit chilly, but Eli went over to the wall and turned a knob that she assumed controlled the heat.

  “I’ll be right back,” he said and left the workshop again.

  As Arianna surveyed the things around her, she wondered if Eli would let her video him working sometime. Not his face, though, just his hands. She had a feeling he wasn’t interested in having his face plastered all over her channel.

  When he returned a few minutes later, he was dressed in a long-sleeved T-shirt and worn jeans, all of which had smears of paint on them. “Didn’t want to chance messing up my clothes.”

  Arianna watched as he went over to a workbench and began to pick up a few things, then he did something that suddenly had soft music filling the shop. When he came back over to where she sat, he held a large piece of wood and a couple of tools. He sat down in the other chair and balanced the wood on a bench in front of him. He pulled the narrow end of the bench close so that it sat between his knees.

  “What is it that you’re working on?” she asked. “Weren’t you working on a hope chest?”

  “Yeah, but I also need to finish this project up.” Turning it around so she could see, he said, “This is something I’m working on for the Christmas Market.”

  “Is that a lamp base?”

  “Yes. I’m doing this one with a scene of woodland animals on it. It’s a design that seems to be popular with visitors to the area. I’ve already completed one, so they can be sold as a matched set or individually.”

  “You’re so talented,” Arianna said, enjoying the flush of pink on Eli’s cheeks in response to her compliment.

  He pulled the base back around to face him and, after slipping on a pair of glasses and some gloves, picked up one of the tools. For a few minutes, he worked in silence, and Arianna let him, enjoying just being with him. As she watched him work, she wondered if they really could find a way to be together. She didn’t think she’d misunderstood his interest in her.

  “I was going to tell you about my own struggle,” Eli said a short time later, his hands using the tools in smooth movements across the wood. Every few strokes he’d brush away small pieces of wood.

  “You don’t need to if it will distract you from what you need to do.”

  “It won’t, and I want you to know.” He glanced sideways at her before returning his attention to his work. “You need to know.”

  Arianna wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but she didn’t ask him to clarify. He’d let her tell her story in her own time, so she would do the same for him.

  “I already told you what happened with my dad,” Eli said, then leaned forward to blow on the wood. “That’s when my struggle began, but it got infinitely worse in the weeks after that. I was dating a girl named Sheila at the time. We’d been together a couple of years, and everyone assumed we were going to be those high school sweethearts who got married and lived happily-ever-after. I had initially wanted that too, and I think Sheila did as well, but we had different opinions of how to get there.”

  Eli fell quiet again, his focus on the wood. Arianna had a weird feeling in her stomach as she listened to him talk about planning a future with his high school sweetheart.

  “We had both been raised in the church and had been taught that sex before marriage was wrong.” Another pause. “I know that most people assume it’s the guy who pressures the girl for sex, but that wasn’t the case in our relationship. Sheila was pressuring me hard, but I managed to resist, reminding her that we should wait until we got married.

  “When I wouldn’t sleep with her, she started to pull away from me and began talking about leaving New Hope as soon as she graduated. And not just leaving to go to college in Seattle like we’d talked about doing, but leaving as in leaving the state completely. I couldn’t do that. Especially after my dad had just left. In fact, I was considering not even going to Seattle even though it wasn’t that far away.”

  “What had you been planning to study?” Arianna asked.

  “Hotel and restaurant management. I figured it would be useful with the setup we had here in New Hope. At some point, I figured Mom and Dad would w
ant to retire, and then they’d hand it over to us kids. I wanted to be equipped to not just continue on with it, but possibly expand it. After all, we own most of the land around here, so expanding was a real possibility. But once Dad left…” Eli shrugged then sat back, his gaze on the wood. He stared at it for a moment before bending over the piece again.

  “When I told Sheila that I wouldn’t leave New Hope Falls, she got super angry with me, and we had a big fight. We didn’t officially break up that night, but we started to pull apart. The next night, I made plans with my friends to play games and spend the night together even though it was the fall festival. Sheila was livid, and after another fight, she stormed off. The next morning, I got a call from Sheila’s mom, asking if I’d seen her. Over the next few hours, it became fairly apparent that Sheila had disappeared.”

  Arianna frowned as she remembered seeing a sign on the glass of the doors of one of the stores. “Is that what the anniversary thing is about?”

  Eli glanced up at her and nodded. “It will be ten years this month since Sheila disappeared.”

  “And they’ve never discovered what happened to her?”

  “No. We don’t know if she’s dead, kidnapped, or if she’s built a whole new life for herself away from New Hope.”

  “That’s horrible,” Arianna said, unable to imagine an unknown like that hanging over her life.

  “It was, but then to make things worse, I became the prime suspect in her disappearance, especially after I mentioned in an interview with the cops that we’d been fighting.”

  “They thought you had something to do with her going missing?” Arianna hadn’t known Eli that long, but she had a hard time believing that he would have been involved in something like that.

  “Some did. Some still do, even though there was no proof I’d been anywhere near her after our fight. People had seen her after that, and I had my friends who could vouch for me…sort of. The police eventually cleared me based on that, but it wasn’t enough for some people. That whole experience soured me on the church because some of those people who thought I was responsible for her disappearance, were from our church and had known me my whole life. But then, they’d known Sheila her whole life too. It kind of divided the church.