Finn

by KB Winters

  If I had any sense, I’d have said goodbye to him in that parking garage. Why didn’t I? Since when did I turn into one of those pathetic girls who always has to have a man around?

  I shook my head, dismissing the questions and more tears flew down my cheeks. I need to get it together. Finn can’t see me like this or he’ll never leave me alone.

  What was he even doing? Playing the hero after everything he put me through all those years ago? If he hadn’t wanted to build a life with me then—what had changed from then until now?

  I still couldn’t figure out why I’d called him in my drunken stupor, except the fact that I was drunk. But then, even more mystifying, why had he raced up the highway in the middle of the night to rescue me?

  A glance in the rearview mirror showed him a few car lengths back, riding on that damn motorcycle. I scoffed through my tears. That was it. We’d park, I’d have the hotel staff take up my belongings, and then I’d tell Finn goodbye. This needed to end before I lost what little remained of my sanity. We could chalk the whole thing up to a weekend filled with some long-overdue ex-sex and say goodbye. He’d go home, safely an hour and a half away, and we’d never have to see one another again.

  Easy peasy.

  My mind set, I pulled up in front of the hotel that would serve as my temporary home until I could get my shit together, and Finn pulled up beside my SUV. I hopped out and deliberately avoiding looking over in his direction as he removed his helmet. A valet came forward to take my keys and I let him know that I had quite a bit of luggage that needed to be taken up to my room. I’d called the hotel before leaving Rafe’s and arranged to switch my room to a suite with a kitchenette and a terrace. There would be plenty of room for all of my suitcases and the three boxes from the storage shed under the building.

  The valet went into the hotel and minutes later, three bellmen and one large luggage cart were ready to tackle the contents of my trunk. I stepped back and let them work, watching as my whole life was packed onto the cart and then wheeled away. My gaze tracked up from the etched glass doors all the way up the hotel. So this was it? I supposed it could be a lot worse. The hotel had four stars after all. It wasn’t like I’d be slumming it. But still…I couldn’t help but feel a little emotional whiplash, going from a just-around-the-corner engagement to one of Atlanta’s wealthiest bachelor’s to being single and living in a hotel.

  Then there was Rafe’s apology still ringing around inside my mind. I still couldn’t believe he’d actually asked me to stay. What kind of idiot did he think I was? It was the first time he’d ever physically hurt me, but as I’d told him, the entire thing woke me up to see just how damaging our relationship was. Sad thing was, he didn’t seem surprised or all that upset about my decision. Hell, maybe he was just trying to avoid me pressing charges. He wrote me a check to cover my trouble. I’d wanted to tell him to shove it up his ass, but figured taking it would be easier than starting a fight, especially with Finn already chomping at the bit to tear Rafe a new one…literally.

  I took the check, took my stuff, and left, all without incident. That was all that mattered. I knew Finn was pissed that I’d even given Rafe two seconds of my time, not to mention that I’d told him I had no plans to press charges, but he wouldn’t understand. If I went against Rafe he could make my life a living hell. On top of that, he could pull his funding from Hearts & Paws and as a non-profit, the chunk of change he’d pledged to keep the shelter running, was essential. I wouldn’t risk my own peace of mind or my businesses. Especially not over something that wouldn’t stick anyways. Rafe was too powerful and rich to be brought down by an assault charge.

  “Lyss?”

  I started as Finn brushed a hand on my arm. I’d been lost, staring up at the sky above the hotel, rewinding the past days over and over in my mind. Exploring every angle and option. I hadn’t heard him come up to me. I took a quick side-step, out of his reach, and made to close the driver’s door. “I think I’m all set here. Thanks for your help.” I shut the door and brushed my gloved hands together. “Listen, I’m still totally willing to bring Peanut down to your place. But I’m wondering if I could do it tomorrow or even Monday morning. I could drop him off at the garage.”

  “Is everything okay?” Finn frowned.

  “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I’m just really tired. And want to call it a day. I think I’ll order some room service—don’t worry, no wine for me tonight—and chill out.”

  Okay, there would definitely be wine involved. But I didn’t need him worrying about me.

  Finn’s face twisted into a conflicted expression. “You sure?”

  “Um, yeah.” I slipped my hands into the pockets of my long pea coat and took a tiny step forward. The hotel staff had the last of my luggage loaded up and were heading back inside the hotel. I watched them go and then stepped up onto the curb as the valet got into my car to take it to the reserved lot around back.

  Only when they were all gone, did I drag my gaze back to Finn. “Listen, Finn, I really appreciate that you came to help me and got my stuff back, but I don’t think this is a good idea…us spending more time together. It’s just going to confuse me even more and to be brutally honest, I don’t have the energy for it right now. Not after everything with Rafe.”

  Finn stared at me, reading me like a book. I ducked my chin, needing to get out from under his stare. It felt like he could see right through me.

  He was silent for too long. I dared to glance up at him, unsure what I would find. His expression was firm, like a mask, no trace of affection or even anger in his eyes. The grey orbs were blank. Hidden.

  “I’m really sorry, I just—”

  He shook his head. “No, don’t be sorry. You’re right. We were getting carried away.”

  Somehow it hurt more coming from him. The sting plunged into my chest and it took every ounce of strength to keep from tearing up again. I gave him a tight-lipped smile and nodded. “I’m glad you understand. And truly, Finn, thank you. I’ll never be able to express how grateful I am for everything.”

  “Sure.” He took a half-step back. “Yeah, of course. You know, I can rent a truck and load my bike in the back. Save you the trip down to my neck of the woods.”

  “Oh…”

  He nodded, his jaw set firm. “Yeah. I think that’s what I’ll do. There’s no reason to drag this out.”

  My eyes burned but I forced a smile. “Good thinking.”

  “I’ll give you a call and swing by on my way out of town. I’ll try to get something lined up this afternoon and head out before dinner.”

  “Okay.” I backed up a few steps toward the safety of the hotel. “I’ll see you a little later then.”

  He grunted his agreement and then headed off to the parking lot on the other side of the hotel where he must have parked his motorcycle. I watched him go, half of me ready to run upstairs, bolt the door, and hunker down for the night. The other half wanted to tear off after him and tell him I was wrong, and that he was something worth fighting for.

  In the end, I stood paralyzed at the front doors until the sound of an engine revving stirred me from my mess of thoughts, and I hurried inside before he could ride by and see me standing there like an idiot.

  Hours later, a knock on my hotel room door startled me from my bleary-eyed TV watching. Peanut launched off the bed and ran for the door. “Coming,” I called.

  I got up, wiped at any smudges under my eyes, and went to answer the door. Finn was there, his expression grim until he saw Peanut. He stooped over and hauled the small pup into his arms. Peanut licked his face as though they’d been apart for weeks, not only a couple of hours. “All set?” I asked, moving to get the bag of supplies I’d stashed beside the door.

  Finn nodded and then dodged Peanut’s frantic licking. “I’m all set. Bike’s loaded up and I stopped and got a kennel for this little guy so he doesn’t go bouncing all over the place.”

  “Smart.” I nodded. “Well, here’s the rest of his stuff.”

&nb
sp; Finn shifted Peanut under one arm and then reached for the bag. Our fingers brushed and I tried to ignore the surge of electricity from his slight touch. That was over now. It didn’t matter how much I wanted him to kiss me and drive out all the nagging fears in my head and heart.

  I patted Peanut on the head. “Have a good life little guy. Your new daddy is gonna take such good care of you.” Tears slipped past my lashes but I hoped Finn would chalk it up to saying goodbye to the tiny dog.

  “Thanks, Lyss. I’ll text you some pictures sometimes.” He paused, then hurried to add, “Of Peanut, I mean.”

  I gave him a watery smile. “I’d like that.”

  Finn’s eyes dropped to my lips and my breath caught in the back of my throat. A long silence spanned between us before Finn finally took a step back from my doorway. “We’ll see you later, I guess.”

  “Yeah. Okay. Have a safe drive home,” I said, the words feeling insignificant and airy. “I know you guys are going to be great together. If you ever need anything, just call the shelter. They can give you a referral for a local vet and suggestions for training and all that when he’s ready. You have Gina’s number too, right? I think I gave it to you…” I paused and patted at my pockets, wondering if my small business card folio was tucked away.

  “Lyss?”

  I looked up, abandoning my search.

  Finn smiled slightly. “You gave me her card.”

  “Oh. Good.”

  Finn stared at me for another long moment and then turned on the heel of his riding boot. Peanut’s little tail wagging furiously as he snuggled up against Finn. I forced myself to go back inside and shut the door. More tears followed the ones already spilled and by the time I got to the window, they turned to full sobs. I pulled back the curtain and watched the front entrance of the hotel. A blue pick-up truck was parked at the curb, Finn’s motorcycle in the back, strapped down with cables and ropes.

  Finn appeared at the truck and I watched as he carefully loaded Peanut into the kennel on the passenger seat floor and then went around the front bumper. He glanced up before getting into the cab and I shrank back, unsure if he could see me through the mirrored windows or not. He climbed inside and pulled away minutes later.

  I exhaled once the truck was out of sight. My chest felt tight even after the deep sigh. He was gone. That was what I wanted.

  Wasn’t it?

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Finn

  “So when are you gonna break your vow of silence and tell me where the hell you disappeared to for four days?”

  “Wow,” I marveled, looking across the shop at Miles. “I figured you’d at least give me ten minutes before starting in on me. Damn, dude. I barely got my feet in the fuckin’ door.”

  Miles flashed a grin. “What can I say, I was concerned.”

  I chuckled and tossed my helmet on my desk. It landed with a hard thud. “You’re not concerned. You’re nosy as fuck.”

  Miles roared with laughter. “Damn, man. For someone who got some fuckin’ pussy, you sure don’t seem happy about it.”

  My eyes snapped up to his. How the fuck does he know that I’d been with someone? Shit, for all he knows I had the flu.

  “I wasn’t always married, you know. I know this game all too well.” Miles sauntered across the shop and dropped into the chair on the other side of the consulting table. “I used to call in sick, if the woman was hot enough, shit, I’d skip out of a couple days’ pay. And if my theory is right, you weren’t just with any woman.”

  He knew it was Alyssa.

  He kicked his boot-clad feet onto the desk and reclined back, his smile of the cat-that-ate-the-canary variety. “I’m no detective, but shit, Finn, it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together here. Every time you’re around her you get all bug-eyed and irritable. You two have history, I get it, but how the fuck did you snatch her away from a big shot like Rafe Wade?”

  I blew out a long puff of air. I’d promised Alyssa I wouldn’t tell a soul about what had happened between the two of them. My playbook was clear. They broke up. Nothing more. I didn’t like that she was going along with his plan to sweep the whole damn thing under the rug—but it wasn’t my call.

  “She called me the other night. Said they broke up and she wanted some company,” I lied. I wasn’t about to divulge the truth about how I’d ended up in her hotel room. I’d take that with me to the grave.

  Miles’s smile widened. “Damn! Booty call with the ex. Niiice.”

  I rolled my eyes and threw myself into the chair behind my desk. “It doesn’t matter. It was just a temporary thing. It’s over now. I’m sorry we lost out on Wade’s order.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I arched an eyebrow. “Didn’t he cancel the car? It was supposed to be for her, right?”

  Miles shrugged. “He called yesterday and left a voicemail. Said he wants to go with the Platinum for the exterior and do the upgraded lighting package.”

  “Oh.”

  Was he trying to win Alyssa back with the car? No, that didn’t make sense. She’d been crystal clear that she was not remotely interested in the car. Then again, I still had no idea what the two of them had discussed behind closed doors while I’d been up in her closet, packing up all her expensive fucking clothes and jewelry box that was filled with shit that probably cost more than I’d make in five years.

  I shook my head. “The whole thing is so fucked up.”

  Miles leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. “What happened with you two?”

  “Nothing…” I cut my eyes to the front of the shop, staring at a blank wall as thoughts rolled in too fast to fully process. “Everything.”

  “You wanna talk about it? Or you wanna go hit some hunkajunk with a sledgehammer? I’m game either way.”

  I smiled at his offer. “Depends. Can I smash the shit outta that fucking Stingray?”

  Miles laughed. “No need, my friend. I got her up and running. Guy’s coming tomorrow to pick her up. The bane of your existence is no more!”

  “Seriously?”

  “Had to do something to keep me busy while you were out running around.” Miles pushed up from his chair and started for the coat rack on the wall. “Hey, let’s go for a drink.”

  “It’s eight o’clock in the morning…”

  “Right. Coffee?”

  I laughed and shoved up to my feet. “All right.”

  Miles drove us to a local shop and we grabbed a couple of large coffees and parked our asses on a bench at the park across the street. The small town just outside Fort Benning was sleepy and quiet, mostly made up of army families. The park would be overrun with kids later in the day, but at eight o’clock in the morning, nothing was going on. As we watched a pack of pigeons pick their way around a nearby trash can, the whole, ugly story came out.

  It turned out that Miles was a pretty good listener when he wasn’t trying to crack stupid jokes. He waited until I got to the end of the story to ask questions. Most of them were easy enough to answer, but the one that tangled me up was when he’d asked what I wanted. The past was over and done with. There wasn’t anything I could do about that. What mattered was my next move. Just like in battle. Decisions made couldn’t be changed, you had to learn to keep plodding forward and course-correct along the way.

  “I don’t know that it really matters what I want,” I finally answered. “I can’t compete with the world she lives in now.”

  “Why not?”

  I scoffed. “Dude, did you not hear the part where I said she was living in a motherfucking penthouse!”

  Miles frowned over at me. “Relevance?”

  I scoffed and shook my head. “Come on, Warren.”

  He straightened. “Come on, what? I really don’t get the big deal.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I forgot, you’re a trust fund baby that married a fucking heiress. Of course, a penthouse is nothing special. I’m a fucking mechanic and I’m never going to be some millionaire with a limitless cred
it card and access to fancy dinners.”

  Miles tilted his head. “You sure that’s what she wants?”

  I turned the question over in my mind. What was it she’d said about the penthouse life? It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be? But she probably only said that based on who she shared it with. It wasn’t the place itself. She obviously had a taste for the finer things in life. At least judging by her designer wardrobe, flashy jewelry, and choice in hotel accommodations. It was clear that even without Rafe Wade’s money, she was doing quite well for herself and a girl like that would have certain expectations.

  “She’s always had nice things,” I told him. “She was slummin’ it with me. I was her first real boyfriend. Back then she was going to school and her parents footed the bills so she could focus on school. I was a soldier, mainly because I needed to get the hell out of my hometown and didn’t have any other way to do it. My sister, Kait, was always the brains of the family. She worked her ass off and got scholarships to college. There was no way in hell my mom would be able to scrape together enough. Kait left and two years later, I graduated, and shipped off to boot camp. When I met Alyssa, I think she was bored. She’s crazy smart and is the type that can ace a test after one pass through the textbook.”

  “How’d you two meet?”

  A smiled danced over my lips but quickly faded. “I was visiting some friends that went to her college. We met at a party. She was a little tipsy and dancing off beat to the music. She didn’t care. She was having the time of her life with that smile of hers…Damn. I was lost right there, watching her across the room. She looked up and saw me and boogied her way over to me and dragged me out onto the floor. I’m not really a dancer. But for her, I would have done anything.”

  Miles laughed softly. “I can picture it.”

  “We got breakfast together the next morning and the rest is history.”

  “I’m far from being some kind of love guru. Just ask my wife. But I gotta say, this all seems fairly obvious from where I’m sitting. You made a mistake three years ago when you let her go. You can’t change that, but here and now, you have a choice. You can fight like hell to get her back, or you can watch her walk away and spend the rest of your life in the same, weird what if limbo you’ve been in for the past three years.” He paused and sipped at his coffee. “Like I said, seems pretty clear which one is the right direction.”