It was one of the last truly beautiful afternoons of the summer. Or rather one of the first truly beautiful afternoons of the fall. The sun was blazing overhead and providing a delicious warmth without any of that oppressive humidity I had felt when I first arrived here. The lawns were still lush and green but a few of the trees had already begun their transformation towards red and russet and amber and the contrast with the green was spectacular.
The little stone bench had been baked all afternoon in the warmth of the sun and I lay down on it and felt my back absorbing all the heat and it was good. I closed my eyes and tried to see if the roses that remained still had any scent, but it was impossible to tell since the air was completely still without even a hint of a breeze. I could have fallen asleep there like that, so relaxed and warm and content I felt.
I imagined Stefano appearing and sneaking up on me to surprise me. I imagined him stealthily draping his form across me and replacing the sun’s warmth with his own energy field. Better yet, I imagined him made of solid flesh and I imagined the weight of his body on mine and my stomach did a little flip flop.
“Catherine.”
I bolted upright and turned.
But it was not Stefano, it was Chad.
“I’m sorry!” he laughed. “I didn’t mean to startle you!”
“Startle me? I think I might need a defibrillator!” I said as I put my hand over my frantically beating heart.
“Sorry!” he said again. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” I smiled. “I was just leaving, anyway.”
“Oh please don’t go on my account,” he said, “I’ll feel bad if I think I chased you away.”
“No, you didn’t! I promise!” I said as I scrabbled to my feet. “I just came by for some solitude, but I really should get going. I have a ton of homework and I’m starving.”
Once I had gotten over the initial shock, I felt embarrassed, like Chad had just walked in on my private fantasy. Of course he couldn’t have known what I had been thinking, but I still felt like I had been caught with my hand in the cookie jar and I just wanted to get away from him.
“Alright,” he said awkwardly. “Well, I’ll see you in class on Wednesday.”
“Okay, bye!” I said awkwardly and I walked away as briskly as possible.
I stopped to check my mailbox before I went up to my room. There was a little slip in it notifying me that I had a parcel to pick up from the office. Hallelujah! A cell phone at last! Although with Cheryl and I only being the fakest of friends now, I doubted very much I’d have much opportunity to ever use it.
I went up to my room excited to open the box and get it up and running to find that Margie had made it home from classes before me.
“You’ll never guess what?” I asked her and then proceeded to tell her all about my détente with Cheryl.
Margie stared at me uncomprehendingly for what seemed like ages.
“Weird,” she said finally.
“Weird? Are you high?” I asked only half-jokingly, because with Margie it was a distinct possibility.
“No! I’m freaked out that she acted like that towards you! Think about it – not just the argument you had with her at the dance, but then she sees you in Chad’s car the same weekend, driving off with him somewhere? I’m actually surprised she hasn’t had you murdered yet!” Margie raised her brows at me.
“Oh, come on! You told me just the other day not to worry because she hadn’t been known to have had anyone murdered!” I joked. “Look, she’s a little self-centered, and kind of deluded, and spoiled, and selfish….I mean she’s a lot of things, but she’s just using me to do her English homework for her. That’s all it is. I’m fully aware!” I insisted.
“True. She does have a good reason for wanting to keep you on good terms,” Margie said thoughtfully. “But the Chad stuff outweighs the English grade. Hugely.” Margie shook her head. “She’s up to something. You need to be careful.”
“What’s the worst that could happen?” I seemed to have forgotten that just that morning I was practically shaking in my boots wondering what she would do. Was it denial that was making me so complacent now?
“Hmm. Well just be careful,” Margie warned me again. “Are you getting up early again tomorrow?” she asked.
“Yeah! I loved hanging out with Andrea and her horse down at the stables! I’ll probably go every day!” I grinned.
“Great. Try not to wake me up in the morning tomorrow!” she threw a cushion off her bed at me.
Going down to the stables in the morning had become my greatest joy so far at school. Each day, Andrea let me do a little more and a little more with Athena. I didn’t even mind that she was making me do the mucking out. I figured it was a fair trade for her instruction, and besides, I actually enjoyed doing it! I loved being alone in the stables with the other horses. I loved the smell of them and the sound of them as they sometimes gave a little whinny or blew out forcefully through their nostrils. I felt a sense of peace and tranquility with them that I wouldn’t have known otherwise. When I was in the barn I thought of nothing else but the present moment. Classes, homework, Cheryl: none of it even entered my head.
Cheryl did enter my room, though. She came and knocked on my door with her laptop for me.
“Here,” she smiled as she slid it into my arms, “Keep it for a few days. When you’re done, bring it back and I’ll print our stuff off.”
“Thank you so much!”
It was such a nice thing to have – it meant that I could use the internet without leaving the room as well. I would have to mention how much having a laptop helped with my studies the next time I talked to my mother.
Margie, who had been lying on her bed with a magazine over her face during this exchange, sat up and looked at me gravely.
“Why am I suddenly remembering that story about the giant horse that was actually hollow and filled with enemy soldiers?” she asked.
“You mean the Trojan Horse? Aw, c’mon! She just wants me to do her homework for her. It’s a fair trade – I get free internet,” I shrugged.
“Well I’d be careful if I were you. Don’t read, don’t write, don’t email, don’t do anything that she could use against you at a later date,” Margie warned.
“What do you mean?” I knitted my brow together as I tried to think how me using this laptop could possibly be used against me.
“Okay, well, let’s say you’re surfing the net, and you accidentally (or on purpose) come across a website devoted to German lesbian bestiality porn or something.”
I rolled my eyes and smirked at Margie’s imagination.
“No, I’m serious! She goes through her browser’s history and sees what you’ve been looking at and she can go around telling everybody that you’re a twisted perv with a thing for animals.”
“Nobody would believe that! And everyone looks at weird internet sites, it doesn’t mean anything. I’m not worried.”
“Okay, well how about this then? You send an email to a friend from home and tell her all kinds of secrets that Cheryl can later use against you? That one’s a little more probable, hey?” Margie looked at me knowingly.
“Oh that’s a good point. I won’t look at my email on here in case the computer saves my password and she can get into my inbox,” I said.
“Be very careful. I’d use it to type up the homework and that’s it, that’s all,” Margie cautioned.
“You’re right. You’re right – I hadn’t thought of what harm she could do,” I conceded.
“That’s ‘cause you’re not devious like some of us!” She gave me a conspiratorial wink.
“Thanks, Margie. I’m sure you just saved my bacon in advance,” I said.
“Anytime!” she affirmed.
As it so happened, I was very happy to have to do this set of short answer questions twice. Most of them concerned the section of the book where Jane first arrives at Thornfield and meets Mr. Rochester for the first time. It was my favorite part of the book and I absolutely adored
writing about it. I suppose if I had any like-minded friends I would have adored talking about the book with them, but I never had, so writing was just as good. Again, I made a few spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in Cheryl’s assignment so as to be believable, and didn’t go into as great detail as I did in my own answers, but I still did a very good job for her. It was my intention for her to get another B+. She had seemed happy with it the last time.
The next time I saw Chad was in Italian class. I was afraid I must have appeared terribly rude when I got up and bolted away from him in the rose garden, because he seemed ever so slightly stand-offish with me. He came and took his usual seat next to mine, but he seemed uncertain and instead of asking how I was right away, he was quiet and turned to his books after giving me an awkward smile.
When class finished I brought it up with him.
“Chad – I’m so sorry about the other day. I was really preoccupied and you caught me by surprise. I didn’t mean to run off like that,” I found myself talking quickly and nervously and I felt stupid.
“No – no need to apologize at all. I’m only sorry that I interrupted you,” he said as he put his hand on my arm. Then realizing what he was doing, he snatched it back again. “Sorry,” he mumbled.
“No, please don’t be sorry! I don’t know what’s happened here, but we’re different. Let’s not be,” I looked at him helpless with my inability to articulate what I was thinking and feeling.
He shook his head and smiled.
“I know. You’re right. Okay – reset button. Done,” he nodded.
“Have you had a chance to look over my column?” I asked, eager to change the subject to something less awkward.
“Yes, I have! I thought it was terrific! Michael did, too. I’ll have to trim it down ever so slightly – it’s just a tiny bit too long – but otherwise it was perfect. You were very diplomatic about the dance,” he smiled knowingly at me.
“Oh, thank you! I’m glad it’s okay.” And then I remembered, “Oh Chad! I have a phone now, so if you need to get a hold of me for anything…”
We exchanged numbers and Chad was officially the second person I added to my contact list after Margie.
So far, this week was going quite smoothly. So of course it was not to last.
CHAPTER 21
On Thursday night, the night before our English homework was due, I padded down the hall to Cheryl and Lisa’s room.
I knocked hesitantly. Although Cheryl had been dutifully putting on the fake friendliness when we saw each other in class or anywhere out in public, I knew our real friendliness had ceased to exist. And truth be told, I didn’t miss it. She was too high maintenance and now that she was no longer a part of my daily routine, I realized just how awkward and self-conscious I had been when we were together. I had none of that with Andrea or Margie or even Chad.
Lisa answered the door with a sullen look on her face.
“Hey, Lisa, is Cheryl around?” I asked.
“Nope,” she replied tersely.
I felt a stab in my gut at her coldness. I was foolish enough to think that we had perhaps bonded a little over the incident at the dance, but clearly Cheryl had been pouring poison in her ear about me. I suppose I couldn’t blame her for her loyalty to her roommate, but I was still hurt. And apprehensive – it proved that Margie’s suspicions were actually dead on, and that Cheryl was gunning for me.
“Oh, well, I have her computer here – “ and before I could finish Lisa had snatched it away from me.
“Great, I’ll leave it on her desk for her.” Lisa stared at me coldly.
“Well actually I need her to print something out for me,” I explained. My antennae were tingling. Something was up. This wasn’t right.
“I’ll tell her,” Lisa practically snarled at me as she tried to close the door.
I remembered how last week Cheryl had come sauntering into class late and all the anxiety I had wondering if she was going to show up with my homework. That was when we were still actually friends. Who knew if I could depend on her under the current circumstances. I told myself I had to be firm, and as is if steeling myself for what I was about to say, I even found myself standing up a little straighter.
“Could you just let me do it now?” I said as I blocked the door with my arm. “It’ll take two seconds.”
I stared at her with all my will. It took more strength to keep my eyes from wavering from hers than I’m sure it would have taken me to lift a hundred pound weight with one arm.
She stood stock still for a moment and I could tell her brain was racing. But she could think of no believable reasons to put me off and finally she became flustered and relented.
“Oh fine – just do it. I don’t think you should be using Cheryl’s printer when she’s not here, though,” she scolded me.
I ignored her and found the cable and plugged the laptop into the computer. I didn’t care if she was irritated at me. I knew without a doubt now that Cheryl had planned on not printing out my homework for me. Margie had been absolutely right all along – the laptop was a Trojan Horse.
Lisa stood there watching me with her arms crossed and a surly look on her face as I fiddled around trying to get my assignment to print. It seemed to take forever! Finally I got it to work.
“Thanks so much, Lisa! I really appreciate it!” I said breezily as I whipped my pages off of the printer and bolted back to my room.
Margie had come home in the interim.
“Margie! You were right! She was going to not print my homework for me! I would have gone to class with nothing to hand in!” I gasped.
“How do you know? What happened?” she asked.
“I went to take the computer back to her, she wasn’t there, but Lisa was. Lisa didn’t want to let me use the printer, but I insisted and she couldn’t think of a good excuse to keep saying no,” I explained.
“So you did print your stuff? Thank goodness! See – I told ya she was up to no good. Cheryl’s up to no good when she likes you, if she’s pissed…watch out!”
“Yes! Lesson learned! That’s it. I’m done with her!” I said.
I was so relieved that I had managed to thwart her little plan that it never occurred to me that she might come up with a back up.
The next morning in English, Cheryl came sashaying in looking like the cat that had just got the cream.
“Good morning, Catherine!” she greeted me again in her over-the-top fake voice.
“Thank you so much for helping me!” she whispered. “Lisa said that you printed your own work already?”
“I did, yes. I hope you don’t mind. Lisa was concerned about me using your printer while you weren’t there,” I responded evenly.
“Oh no – no problem at all!” she tossed back her luxurious mane of hair. “You saved me the trouble!”
I was perplexed. But I decided that since I had beaten her at her own game for the time being, she was going to keep up the charade and get me to do her homework again for her next week. Fine with me. Inwardly I breathed a sigh of relief as the teacher came around and collected our homework.
When I came back to my room after classes had finished, Margie was there and I was antsy for her to leave. I had been so looking forward to seeing Stefano that night…all week long, whenever I wasn’t completely preoccupied with horses or homework or Cheryl drama, my thoughts had turned to him. I missed him terribly. I’d been pining for him, in fact. I felt like I had been neglecting him and I longed to have his emerald eyes fixed on mine and to feel his energy against me.
“What time is your boyfriend coming to pick you up?” I tried to sound casual.
“He’s working today. Until eight, so probably not until nine,” Margie explained.
Agh! So frustrating!
“Do you want to go the dining hall and get something to eat with me?” I asked her. I couldn’t bear to stay cooped in the room while time seemed to stand still.
“Yeah, why not?” she shrugged.
We went t
ogether into the cafeteria to get our food. Margie was waiting for them to warm up a pizza for her, so I told her I would go out into the dining area and find somewhere to sit.
As I carried my tray out I couldn’t help but notice Cheryl, Lisa and Janice as well as a few other girls I didn’t know all hanging out together at the table in the back corner that they favored. I scanned the room quickly. The tables nearest the entrance that were farthest away from the group were all full. I chose one in the middle of the room – it was as far away as I could possibly get from the girls and at least had a table of freshmen between it and them that could act as a buffer.
Cheryl and Janice both looked up as I approached. They saw me, and they saw me see that they saw me. I tossed a half-hearted smile at them and sat down at the empty table in the middle of the room with my back to them.
“Nice jeans!” I heard Janice say loudly.
“Oh I hear those were all the rage in Seattle back in nineteen ninety-two!” Cheryl chimed in and they all broke up cackling.
I pretended as though I hadn’t heard and looked desperately for Margie to emerge from the cafeteria.
What was this about now? I had thought that Cheryl would maintain the illusion of peace for the sake of her English grade. Now that she was sitting with all her friends she felt the need to show off for them?
Finally Margie came out and I tried to give her a warning look as she spotted me and came over.
“What’s going on? What’s the look for?” she asked bewildered as she sat down.
“Did you know that the circus was in town? I just saw a runaway cyber-punk dwarf! Must be a reject from the freak show!” Cheryl exclaimed loudly from behind me.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized whole-heartedly to Margie. “That’s because you’re with me.”
“Is that the best they can do?” Margie huffed. “Please. She wants to make a scene, I’ll make a scene for her,” she said as she began to stand up.
“No! No, please Margie! Don’t make it any worse!” I begged her.
“Those little bitches aren’t getting away with insulting me like that!” she said. “Hey! Team Anorexia! Either get some sandwiches or some citronella over there! You’re attracting flies!”
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