After the End

by Bonnie Dee

  "Like you've been bit by zombies." Derrick matched her dry tone.

  "We're so sorry we left you. We thought you were with us." Julie smoothed her hand over the woman's gray hair, the salon style now flat and limp.

  Mrs. Scheider tried to sit up and winced at the pain.

  Joe pushed her back down. "Just lie still and rest while I bandage you." He took the strips of cloth Gloria had torn from a shirt and began to bind her wounds.

  Lila knelt beside Ari, wet another rag and sponged at the blood he'd missed along his hair line. She cupped his face and wiped away the traces of gore, but knew they were there whether they showed or not. The memories of what he'd seen and done—what all of them had—could not be erased so easily.

  When she'd finished wiping his face clean, she paused for a moment, his face still cupped in her hand. She studied the dark outer ring of his iris and the velvety brown within and the way his pupils dilated as he looked back at her. Tension crackled between them. A kiss floated on the air waiting to be snatched. Then Lila let go, took her hand from his warm skin and sank back onto her heels. "There. That's better."

  But it wasn't. Better would have been leaning in and giving him a long, deep kiss.

  The near miss in the diner along with Mrs. Scheider's injuries and Sondra's swollen ankle put a stop to their travels for the day. They'd only made it a hand full of blocks from the Tastee-Freez. No one, not even Ari, had the stomach to venture back out to find food so they ate the last of their power bars and shared some sports drinks.

  "I sure would've liked some of that bacon," Derrick murmured.

  Lila agreed with him, but tried to remember they were lucky to have any food. She thought of her mother's voice telling her to clean her plate. "Think of the starving children in third world countries." She slowly chewed and swallowed her half of a power bar and prayed her mother and father were still alive and safe.

  They moved out of the lobby to set up camp in office cubicles so generic they were utterly forgettable. Temporary walls, cheap furniture and pathetic attempts by their owners to personalize the cubicles were all the impression Lila had of the place. Sleeping on industrial grade carpet with no cushions or covers the group passed another night, huddled together in darkness.

  By morning, Sondra's ankle was much better, but Mrs. Scheider was pale, weak and unconscious again. Joe felt her pulse and listened to her labored breathing. "I don't know what's wrong with her besides this bite. Perhaps she's just had too much strain on her heart. She needs to be in a hospital getting fluids and oxygen."

  "She should rest another day. We all should," Gloria said.

  It doesn't look like she has another day in her, Lila thought.

  Ari stood, looking down at the woman for a few moments. Lila could almost see him weighing his options. The need to keep moving was obvious, as was the fact that Mrs. Scheider was not likely to recover. But he didn't want to simply pronounce her dead and abandon her, leaving her struggling for breath.

  "I'm going up a few floors to take a look at the city and get some perspective," he said.

  His double meaning wasn't lost on Lila. She would've liked to go along with him, but sensed he needed time alone to consider his decision. She watched him disappear through the door to the stairs then went to help Julie and Deb scavenge food in the offices and break room.

  All they could find in the desks was snack foods and a couple of apples. By the time they'd brought their loot to the conference room and everyone was seated around the table to eat, Mrs. Scheider was much worse and Derrick went to get Ari.

  Although her stomach was grumbling, Lila couldn't stand the thought of eating. She didn't know how they could either with Mrs. Scheider lying there wheezing. They should've laid her in a different room, but it was too late to move her now.

  Lila knelt beside Joe, dipped a cloth in water and held it to the old woman's dry lips. She wished she had ice chips to feed her and remembered doing that for her grandmother when she was in the hospital on her deathbed. She held Mrs. Scheider's frail hand, closed her eyes and prayed for her to leave the world peacefully—and not reanimate. The thought of having one's corpse tottering around trying to eat people was horrible.

  After a few minutes, Lila rose and went to get herself a drink. But after Ari arrived and knelt beside Mrs. Scheider, she went over to him. "Hey, you're back." His shoulder felt strong and warm beneath her hand and when he looked up, her stomach gave a little flip.

  "I see you found brunch for everyone."

  She babbled on about food for a few seconds, but wasn't really listening to herself. She was caught by the pain in his eyes, the knowledge that he would be the one to behead Mrs. Scheider if she rose again.

  Lila volunteered to clear the room. She went to the conference table and told the others the end was near—conscious of the irony of her word choice. Everyone filed past Mrs. Scheider as if she was already a corpse and they were paying their last respects.

  When the room was empty, Lila returned to crouch beside Ari. "Do you need me to help?"

  "No. I'll handle it." He gave her instructions about making sure the perimeter was secure and she left to follow through on his orders. But she couldn't stop thinking about what he was facing, especially when Joe came out of the conference room to announce Mrs. Scheider had died.

  All of them reacted with the same numb acceptance. They'd experienced too much death to react very emotionally to the loss of yet another of their number.

  "She was a great lady." Deb offered a eulogy. "Strong, smart and with a sharp sense of humor. I really liked her."

  "She was the coolest old lady I ever met," Derrick added.

  That summed up what Lila felt as well. She stared at the conference room door which Joe had closed behind him. Everyone knew why and what would probably happen next inside that room.

  Lila's felt sick at the thought of Ari in there all alone, dealing with this as he had with so many other things the rest of them couldn't handle. It wasn't right or fair. She walked toward the closed door.

  "Where are you going?" Julie asked.

  "I'm going to help him." Or at the very least, be with him when he has to do it.

  Inside the room, Ari sat on his heels beside Mrs. Scheider's still body, his hatchet across his knees and his hand rubbing absently up and down the wooden handle. He looked up when Lila entered. "What's happened?" He started to rise.

  "Nothing. I just wanted to… I could help you." Lila would have liked to offer to do the job for him. She wished she were brave enough to lift that ax and make the vital cut, but she knew in her heart she didn't have the emotional strength to do it. Not to someone she'd known and cared about. "Or maybe I can't help you, but I can at least wait with you. Ari, you don't have to do this alone."

  He was silent a moment, still looking at her, and then he nodded. "That would be nice, if you'd wait with me."

  Pulse racing, Lila hunkered beside him on the floor to keep watch over the dead woman. All of them had discussed earlier the option of cutting off her head simply to be on the safe side, but decided it would be good to find out if she'd been infected and how long after death the body reactivated. Perhaps they would sit with Mrs. Scheider for hours and nothing would happen. Maybe she was simply dead.

  After several minutes had slipped past, Lila asked, "How long do you think?"

  Ari shrugged. "That one in the subway seemed to rise right away. But Carl seems to think the delay can vary from minutes to days, which would explain why some of the zombies looked like they came from a funeral home instead of a morgue."

  "But when bodies are embalmed all the blood is replaced with formaldehyde. Where does that leave Carl's theory about the mutated blood cells causing some kind of reaction? And why would it take different lengths of time for the reanimation to occur? For that matter, why would a bite be enough to infect someone?"

  He looked at her from beneath his brows. "I've got no answers. I'm just along for the roller coaster ride." Mrs. Scheider's fin
gers twitched and his attention focused on them. "And here comes the next hill so hold on."

  Lila's stomach plunged. She remembered how much she hated amusement park rides.

  Ari rose and reached out to take her hand and draw her to her feet. He continued to hold her hand as he gazed into her eyes. "You don't have to see this. You can leave now."

  She shook her head. "No. I'll stay. I don't want you to have to be alone."

  He hefted the ax in his hand and Lila's gaze was drawn to the sharp edge. She swallowed bile that rose in her throat. Ari gave her a little push toward the conference table. "Go over there, then, and wait."

  Behind him the corpse stirred, her elbows bracing against the gray carpet as she started to push up from the floor.

  Lila did as Ari bid her, gripping the back of one of the metal-frame chairs and staring at a framed print of splashy colors and shapes on one wall. What would Ann, the art curator, have thought of the piece? She clenched the chair and flinched at the sound of Ari's small grunt as he swung the ax and metal cleaving flesh and bone.

  There was a pause before he said. "Okay. It's done."

  Lila turned from the table and walked back toward Ari, standing with the hatchet hanging from one hand by his side. He'd wiped the blade clean but there were spatters on his hand and forearm. Lila avoided looking at the decapitated corpse. She grasped Ari's arm and pulled him away from the body.

  "You've done all you can. It's not like we can bury her. I'll find something to cover her body with and we'll leave her here."

  She pulled Ari into her embrace, locking her arms around his back and hugging him tight. He hesitated only a moment before dropping the ax on the floor and wrapping his arms around her, too. They held each other for seconds or maybe hours. Lila felt the heat and strength of his body and the way it trembled against hers. Silently, she offered what comfort she could.

  At last they reluctantly separated. Ari stooped and kissed her briefly, a warm brush of lips and touch of her cheek before he turned away. He stooped to pick up the ax while she went to tell the others Mrs. Scheider was truly dead now.

  She found a suit jacket in one of the offices and took it back to the conference room to drape over the dead woman. She tried to do it without looking too closely, glimpses of white hair and a blood-stained blouse were all she took in as she laid the coat over her. Lila said a prayer, wishing Mrs. Scheider well as she continued her journey to another state of being.

  When she returned to the others, they were discussing moving on since it was still quite early in the day. A contingent composed mostly of Gloria and Sondra wanted to rest another day, but the others were ready to go.

  "We've got to get out of this city," Deb said. "Even if we only make it a few more blocks today before we have to stop for the night, we've gained a little more ground."

  "We should think about finding a car and driving. The streets may be gridlocked, but maybe on the sidewalks," Carl suggested

  They'd already addressed the issue before, but Ari patiently explained his reasoning again. "Getting a car or two isn't a problem, but I doubt we'd make it far before hitting an impasse and meanwhile the noise would draw zombies to us. Going on foot is the best way to travel."

  "Let's go then." Lila picked up her backpack and slung it over her shoulders. It could be difficult to get everybody moving and leading by example was usually the best way to motivate them. "We have a few hours of daylight left."

  It was getting more difficult every time to mentally gear up to go back outside. She understood Gloria's whimpering and Sondra's whining, but couldn't afford any sympathy for them. "Come on. I'll carry Ian for a while, Gloria." She held out her arms to take the baby. Gloria looked doubtful but passed him to her. He was a heavy little thing and immediately began squirming in her arms.

  "Here. Give him Bright." Ronnie offered her plush unicorn with the air of a brave soldier offering her canteen to a dying mate. Lila knew what a sacrifice it was for her.

  "Thank you, Ronnie. That's very generous of you." Lila took the stuffed toy and gave it to the baby, who gripped it for all of two seconds before dropping it again. "But maybe you'd better carry Bright for him. I don't know if Ian can hold onto him."

  She propped the chunky baby against her shoulder and patted his back, calming him down. By now the rest of the group had gathered their things and they headed out into zombie city once more.

  After their dramatic and draining day and the loss of another one of their party, the group was exhausted and edgy. For Lila, a sense of inescapable doom draped her like a smothering mantle. She usually considered herself an optimistic person, but for the first time she seriously doubted they'd make it through this crisis alive—not a single one of them.

  They walked for a number of blocks without incident, moving as quickly as they could given their large number. Lila's arms ached from carrying Ian, who felt heavier with each step she took as he fell asleep against her shoulder. Finally she passed him off to Julie to carry, trading the child for a rifle.

  Ari called a halt as the deep gold of the late afternoon sun cast dark shadows from the tall buildings around them. They needed to find shelter before it was too dark to see.

  "We'll try here." He led them into a Good Night's Rest hotel. The lobby was pristine, not as much as a piece of flesh or a finger marring the front counter or the sitting area.

  "So far, so good," Carl muttered.

  Fanning out, they checked the ground floor and left the upper levels unexplored. Instead they barricaded each of the doors to the stairways to ensure if there was something up above, it couldn't come down. The rooms were all locked. Tapping and calling at the doors didn't summon any survivors from within. Lila imagined that in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday, the motel had probably been pretty empty to start with. Everyone met back in the lobby where Derrick and Joe had locked and barricaded the front doors.

  "Guess we have free run of the place," Deb announced. "Let's get a keg and throw a party."

  "There are mini-bars in the rooms," Sondra pointed out, not quite registering the sarcasm. "We could collect a bunch and have a drink by the pool."

  Pool. The very word conjured heavenly images of bright summer days and cool water washing over her skin. Lila thought the only more beautiful words right now would be "hot shower".

  They got key cards from the registration desk and chose a block of rooms right by the pool and the breakfast room. The milk in the mini fridge had gone bad, but there were stale yet edible bagels and muffins and boxes of dried cereal. Apples, tangerines and brown-skinned bananas added fresh fruit to their meal.

  "My God, I never thought I'd love Raisin Bran," Julie crunched a handful of dry cereal.

  Juice boxes made fine mixers for the little bottles of rum and vodka they liberated from the mini-bars in a few of the rooms. Sondra played bar tender and mixed drinks for everyone.

  Lila took muffins, fruit and juice to Joe and Ari, who were guarding the front. They kept the indoor lights off as nighttime spread over the city.

  "I'll take your place for a while," she told Joe. "The others are going to clean up in the pool after they're done eating. Go ahead. I'll take a turn later." She tried to convince herself she didn't make the offer with any ulterior motive—like spending some time alone with Ari keeping watch, and later in the pool. An image of them having a swim in the intimate dark long after the others had gone to their rooms floated in her mind. Was it wrong to want that in the midst of death and destruction? Maybe. Did she care? Hell, no. If they weren't going to make it out of this alive, she at least wanted one good memory to see her through at the end.

  "You sure?" Joe asked.

  "Oh yeah. Go take it easy. I think Sondra's got a juice box cocktail with your name on it."

  After Joe was gone, she took his seat by the window. Her leg bumped against Ari's as she slid into the chair beside him. That slight, accidental touch set off a crazy hormone attack. She felt their embrace from earlier imprinted on her body,
remembered the last few mornings when she'd woken pressed against him, and relived the few kisses they'd shared. None of that was enough. She wanted more now.

  "Anything interesting out there tonight?" she asked.

  "Nothing but a few rats scavenging and that's about as interesting as I want it to get."

  They lapsed into silence for a bit, while Ari polished off the food she'd brought him, but it was a comfortable silence, the kind old friends shared rather than the awkward pauses of a first date.

  "What day is this? Friday?" she asked. "If it was a normal Friday night, what would you be doing?"

  "Mm, I don't know what's a 'normal' Friday night anymore. If you'd asked me that back in high school or the summer after, I guess the answer would have been partying with friends, getting too drunk, hitting on girls, maybe going home with one. While I was in basic, we didn't get leave most Fridays, so we'd play poker or pool on the base in our free time. Since I've been home again," he paused. "Well, it's only been about a month, but everything feels different. I thought I'd go back to old routine, hanging with my boys, but I don't know, I've felt kind of out of it. Like, I want something different now, you know?"

  "I get that," Lila said. "The summer after my freshman year of college, I was so looking forward to going home to Ohio and seeing my friends again, but it wasn't the same there anymore. I wasn't the same."

  "What'd you do?"

  "Worked at my uncle's car dealership and waited for a new school year to start. I'm not saying I didn't have some good times with my old friends, or enjoy some parties, but my heart wasn't in it and I was just marking time. When I got off the plane in New York at the end of summer, I felt like I was coming home at last."

  They talked a little more about what their plans and dreams had been before everything fell apart. They talked about movies, music, stand-up comics, favorite foods, family squabbles, anything except zombies for once.

  When Deb and Julie came to relieve them from their duty, Julie's auburn hair was still damp from her swim and hung lank around her face. Deb's braids had shed the water like sealskin and remained in beautiful, wild profusion. The women's hands were clasped together as they approached across the lobby. Lila thought how comforting it would be to be together with your loved one while going through this crisis—but frightening too, seeing her in danger and wanting to protect her at all costs. Deb and Julie were lucky to have each other.