Falling With You: A Fractured Connections Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

So, I didn’t mind taking the extra time and steps to teach Dillon what I knew to get him prepared if he did want to go to culinary school.

  We would see what would happen with that, though I liked the idea of Dillon taking that route. But I wouldn’t push him. He’d been pushed enough by our birth mom, and I wouldn’t be that asshole. Not again.

  “You’re staring at me,” Dillon said, tilting his head as he studied my face. “What’s wrong? Do you need some water or something?”

  I shook my head and then rubbed my temple. “I’m fine.”

  “You have a headache?” Dillon popped up from the couch. “I can go get you a pain pill.”

  “I’m fine. Really. I have a headache because I didn’t sleep well. But I already took the one pain pill I’m allowing myself for the day. My hand doesn’t hurt that much anymore, which is nice.”

  “You’re taking the prescribed dose though, right?” Cameron asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Don’t make yourself hurt because you’re afraid of what our mother did. Okay?”

  We were all doing really good about just putting those fears and words out in the open. We used to hide the fact that we were afraid we would end up drug addicts and alcoholics like our birth parents, but we were getting better at the whole communication thing.

  Probably because of the women in our lives.

  No, the women in my brothers’ lives.

  Cameron had Violet. Brendon had Harmony. And I had…well, I didn’t have anyone. And that was fine with me.

  But Sienna was around. Or, at least, she had been. And so was Meadow, their new friend that was hanging out with them. I rubbed my hand over my heart, trying not to think about who wasn’t with us.

  Allison. My old friend. My ex-girlfriend. The one that wasn’t around anymore.

  But I wasn’t going to think about that. Not when I was already hurting and surrounded by my brothers who wanted to make sure I was okay. Thinking about the fact that Allison was dead would not help my mood.

  “If you’re okay, then I won’t go get you another pain pill. Promise,” Dillon said quickly, filling the awkward silence.

  “I am fine. And I’m taking the prescribed dose. But I’m not going to take any soon because I don’t really need it. I know our family comes from a line of addicts, I’m not going to become one of those.”

  “I know you won’t. But it also means that you may end up more in pain than you need to be and heal slower because you’re afraid of becoming that.”

  “I’d flip you off, but my favorite middle finger is currently bandaged right now.”

  Brendon grinned at that and shook his head before taking a seat on the recliner next to my couch.

  “You’re a laugh riot, brother.”

  “I try.” I paused. “So, have you heard anything about Sienna? Is she doing okay?” I tried to make my voice sound casual, probably too casual, and I likely wasn’t fooling anyone in the room. Even the kid knew it was weird.

  “We haven’t really heard too much about her.”

  “I talked to Violet earlier, and she said Sienna’s fine. Her bruises are healing up, and everything is doing good. She’s even working. You haven’t talked to her?” Cameron asked, his voice deceptively calm.

  “Not really. I don’t really talk to Sienna every day. Unless I see her at the bar.” Not quite true, but we tended to fight with each other more than anything. We just had personalities that clashed sometimes, and that meant we yelled at each other when we needed to get things done. It had even been like that when we were younger in school surrounded by all our friends, we had always been the ones to yell at each other.

  That was just life.

  Sienna was my short stack, the dork that I enjoyed hanging out with, even if she got under my skin sometimes.

  And the fact that I kept thinking about her with those bruises on her body made me want to fight and hurt someone.

  “The girls said that she’s doing fine. We should see her at the bar tomorrow or so. She’s just busy, trying to deal with the cops and figuring out who could have done it. But I don’t know if they’re going to actually figure that out.” Brendon shrugged, but I could see the tension in his shoulders.

  It seemed that none of us were actually truly okay with what had happened. Sienna had been hurt, could have died, could have had something even more horrible happen to her, and I hadn’t been there for her.

  It was all my fault.

  And people saying that it wasn’t, wasn’t going to make me feel any better. So, I didn’t say anything.

  Because I didn’t like the idea of Sienna hurt. Didn’t like the idea of any of my friends getting hurt.

  But, Sienna? The one person I got to talk to about stupid shit?

  For some reason, the thought of her getting hurt made my gut clench, made my one non-injured hand that I had left fist at my side.

  “Have you even called her?” Dillon asked.

  “I texted her,” I said shortly. “She didn’t text back. I figured she was busy. Or didn’t want to talk to me.”

  My brothers gave each other looks, and I ignored them. I really didn’t want to get into this. I just wanted to make sure that she was okay, but that didn’t mean I needed to learn anything else.

  “Well, we should be able to see her tomorrow. And that means you can go back to the kitchen tomorrow, right?” Dillon said quickly. “Because I’m going to be right by your side. I’ll be your hands. I mean, not as good as you, but I think I’m doing pretty well with a knife.”

  That made me smile. Even with all the shit going on, that did make me smile.

  “Yeah, you’re pretty damn good. But you need a lot more training. So, yeah, you’ll be my hands. But getting back in that kitchen? That’s something I really need to fucking do.”

  “Then you will.”

  We started talking about the business and the fact that the guys were going right back there a little bit later. Beckham was working on the opening, but we still had more to do. And all the while we were talking, I couldn’t help but think about Sienna.

  Just because her bruises were healing didn’t mean everything else was. Because I didn’t know if she was really fine.

  Sometimes things were beneath the surface.

  And I really didn’t know if anyone knew Sienna.

  Let alone me.

  Chapter Three

  I’m the queen of awkward. Awkwardly.

  -Sienna, age 15.

  * * *

  Sienna

  “Why am I here?” I asked the table and then shook my head, wondering why I was such a mess. “Sorry, I actually like being here, I’m just out of sorts.”

  I looked over at Violet, who leaned across the table and gave me a quick hug. “You’re here because you’re my sister and I love you, and we’re going to have a drink if you want. Regardless, we are going to eat some amazing food. Aiden is back there, and though he’s not using his hands, he is directing and yelling and doing his most Aiden of Aiden things. Dillon is back there helping him, as well. And I think the two are getting along. But that means we’re going to get some amazing food, and you are going to breathe and just enjoy yourself for tonight. I know you’ve been at home or at work for the past week, but it’s time for you to just hang out with us. Okay?”

  I looked at Violet and nodded, but I wasn’t really sure I believed her. Or if I believed myself.

  “I’m such a dork right now. I’m sorry. I mean, I love this place. I loved it when it was Jack and Rose’s, and I love it even more now that the Connolly brothers are running it. And you sort of have an in with one of the owners, and Harmony over here has another in.”

  “I’ll be sure to let Brendon know that I think of him as my in,” Harmony said, sipping her drink.

  “I feel like I’m a little left out that I don’t have an in here,” Meadow said, playing with the condensation on her water glass. “Of course, I know you guys, and you guys have an in with the owners, so do I have an in with the in?”

 
I shook my head, laughing with Meadow. I really liked her, even though she didn’t speak often. She was just sweet and always there for my sister, and it was nice to see her out and about.

  She was usually at home alone, working hard, but she was out to hang out with me. Actually, here to hang out with all of us.

  And I was glad because I didn’t really want to be alone.

  I rolled my neck and winced. My sister didn’t miss the movement.

  “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is it the bruising?” She said the latter very softly, and I was grateful. Although I might be loud and usually relished being the center of attention, I didn’t like it when it had to do with my health or the fact that I could still remember the feeling of that man’s fingers on my skin.

  I didn’t want to remember any of that.

  “I’m fine. Really. I didn’t take a pain pill today because I don’t need them anymore, and I only have a twinge when I actually move wrong. So, I can have a nice beer and just enjoy myself.”

  Violet studied my face and gave me a tight nod. “Well, if that changes, you need to let me know. And the beer you have in front of you is one of the new ales that Cameron found. They’re just putting it in bottles right now, but apparently, the brewery is going to draft soon, which is like a big thing. I think.” Her nose scrunched, and I laughed. “I really don’t know much about beer. Or wine. Other than what I like. Dating someone who owns a bar is actually quite enlightening.”

  “Tell me about it,” Harmony said, and the two clinked their drinks.

  I met Meadow’s gaze, and we both laughed.

  “I feel like I should probably date into the bar, what do you think? I mean, I feel like I need more than just an in of an in.”

  I didn’t fail to notice that Meadow’s gaze went to the bearded bartender for just a moment before she quickly moved back to looking directly at me.

  I knew that Beckham looked at Meadow, as well, but the two didn’t really seem to talk. Nor did they really hang out together other than at a few pool tournaments when I hadn’t been around.

  I swallowed hard, trying not to think about the reason I hadn’t been at that last pool tournament.

  Because I wasn’t going to think about that.

  I wasn’t going to think about the awkwardness. About the fact that Aiden and I still hadn’t talked about it.

  About the fact that I didn’t want to talk about it.

  “You’re off in your head again. What’s wrong?” Violet asked. “You’re not drinking your beer either.”

  I smiled widely, shaking off those thoughts, and took a big gulp. It was nice, not too hoppy, and a little bit sweet. The perfect beer for me.

  “It tastes amazing. Sorry, you know me, just blah blah blah in my head.”

  “You usually blah blah blah outside your head. You never shut up.” Violet winked as she said it, and I rolled my eyes.

  “Be nice.”

  “I am nice. I’m the nice one.”

  “No, Mace is the nice one. You’re the weird one. And I’m the annoying one.”

  “Did you just call our big brother the nice one?”

  “Maybe. He is the nice one. Well, Adrienne makes him the nice one.”

  “You’re talking about your brother? The big, bearded tattoo artist?” Harmony asked. “Well, he actually is kind of nice. The few times that I’ve met him anyway.”

  “He is sweet. So sweet. I mean, have you seen him with his daughter?” Violet clutched her chest over her heart and rolled her eyes. “I mean, who would have thought the big Grumpy Gus would fall in love and help raise a beautiful little girl.”

  “When is their wedding again?” I asked, trying to remember if Adrienne and Mace had set a date.

  “Not set yet. Apparently, all of the Montgomery women are getting married or remarried, and so they’re all planning different weddings.”

  Our brother Mace was marrying Adrienne Montgomery, who was part of a large family. Everyone had slowly started to fall in love and get engaged over the past couple of years, much like my friends up here.

  Harmony and Violet were practically engaged to their men, yet here I was, alone, trying not to think about the last time I’d had sex.

  Because I was not going to think about that.

  Or him.

  I reached out to grab my beer and twisted my wrist right at the wrong moment. “Fuck,” I muttered.

  Violet was right there, helping me with my glass. “Are you sure you’re not in too much pain?”

  I rubbed my wrist softly. “I’m fine. The bruises are healing. I promise.”

  “You say that, but I’m afraid. Just talk to me. Okay?”

  “I am talking to you. They’re going to find the men who came at me. I know it. I trust the police.”

  “I trust them, too,” Harmony said. “But there’s not a lot of evidence to help find those guys. And it was so close to here.” Harmony shivered, and I reached out to rub her arm.

  “It’s going to be fine.” I was going to be okay.

  “You’re not supposed to be the one trying to help me,” Harmony said quickly. “I’m supposed to be the one helping you.”

  “You know what can help me? Forgetting it all happened. Because if we can just forget it all happened, it’ll be okay.”

  As soon as I said that, Cameron came out, holding a tray of appetizers and tapas for us. I looked at the food and then remembered that I couldn’t actually forget that it had happened.

  Because I wasn’t the only one who had gotten hurt.

  “Hey, ladies, I have what you ordered here. And Aiden and Dillon added a few extra things. We have those chicken nachos that I know you love. And Dillon made these since I was really happy for them. There are some wings, but they’re the Korean-fried wings rather than the buffalo ones. There’s also a dip that I think has crab in it, but I’m not a hundred percent sure because he was mumbling it quickly, and it’s not on the menu yet. There are also two types of side salads that are more communal than just for yourself. If none of this is to your liking, I’m sure I can bully my brother into making something else.”

  My mouth watered looking at everything that he was putting on the table, and I shook my head. “Don’t bother him, I’m sure everything’s going to be great.”

  Cameron gave me a look, his brows raised. “Wow, are you sure you’re okay? I’ve never actually seen you defend Aiden like that.”

  I froze, blinking. “I’m not mean to him.” Everyone gave me a look. “Am I?”

  Harmony cleared her throat. “You’re not the sweetest to him. But he’s not the sweetest to you either. You both are very…”

  “Caustic towards one another,” Violet said. “But not mean. Just…you guys like to rile each other up.”

  “Well, he has a broken hand. He shouldn’t even be in the kitchen right now.”

  “We kept him out as long as we could,” Cameron said softly. “But he knows what he’s doing. He’s not overdoing it.”

  I met Cameron’s gaze and nodded, hoping he didn’t actually see what was behind my thoughts.

  Aiden had been hurt because of me. He wasn’t doing what he loved right now, what he was amazing at, all because of me. And I didn’t really know what to do about that.

  “Okay,” Violet said, clapping her hands. “We’re going to eat all of this food. I don’t care that Cameron’s probably going to have to roll me home.”

  Cameron leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to her lips. “Don’t worry about it, babe. Eat all you want. I’ll carry you out of here.”

  “Even if it takes a forklift?” Violet asked.

  “Even then.”

  She elbowed him in the gut, and he just laughed before kissing her again and walking away.

  The place was busy tonight, and I was grateful for it. That meant that Cameron and Brendon were off doing their own things and not at our table. And that also meant they weren’t going to be too overprotective with me and bothering me.

  I loved the guys. I loved the
fact that they were back in my life, but every time I looked at them, I was reminded that Aiden had been hurt. That he wasn’t here. Yes, it was his first time back in the kitchen since the attack, but it still hurt to think about.

  Everything hurt to think about.

  “This is amazing,” Meadow said, moaning. “Like how does he make this sauce?” she said after biting into one of the wings.

  I took one from the plate and blew on it since it was still hot. As I took a bite, I held back a moan of my own. It was a perfect mix of crunch and sweetness and spiciness. I didn’t know how he did it, but I was in love.

  Not with Aiden.

  But with his food.

  I couldn’t be in love with Aiden. Just because I had been when I was younger, didn’t mean I was still in love with him.

  Aiden had fallen for Allison back when we were in school, and I had been the perpetual third wheel. Yes, I’d had other dates and boyfriends along the way, but I had always been invited into their relationship. Not in a sexual way or even an emotional way, but more in the idea that they never pushed me away if I ended up spending too much time with them. I loved Allison, loved her with everything I had. She was my best friend. Yes, Violet was my sister and a good friend to me, and Harmony was another best friend, but Allison was special.

  Out of the four of us, I had always spent the most time with Allison. We were the two closest in age, and we just clicked.

  Back in the day, Aiden and I had clicked as well, but he had fallen in love with my best friend.

  So, I had watched the two of them get all lovey-dovey and lose their virginities to each other. Well, not actually watched them, but I had been there for the aftermath when they’d both been all awkward and then not so awkward.

  I held back a smile at that memory, eating more of my wing. They had been amazing to each other, and then they hadn’t. They’d drifted apart yet remained friends and still kept me in their friendship circle. But I’d always had a thing for Aiden, even when I shouldn’t have.

  And when everybody went their separate ways—at least the guys—I’d still had a slight crush on him, even though he hadn’t been in my life.