Falling With You: A Fractured Connections Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “Oh my God, can I make you a knapsack?” Sienna asked, putting her hands together beneath her chin. “Just imagine the little baby kitten in a little sling across your chest. All the swoons.”

  Olivia laughed and gave Sienna a high-five. “Seems like totally all the swoons. But you’d probably have to beat women off with a stick if they saw him with that.”

  “Hey, I’m sitting right here,” Derek said, wrapping his arm around his wife and giving her a firm kiss on the mouth. “Don’t talk about swooning over another man.”

  “Aw, you know I only swoon after you, boo.”

  “Boo?” he asked, laughing. “We’re not going with boo.”

  “Oh, boo. I’m so sorry that you’re afraid of a cute little nickname.”

  “Okay, keep at it, and next time, our little game is going to be a little less subtle when we’re at the hotel,” he glowered, but I could see the laughter in his eyes. I wondered what the hell these two were talking about. Because from the way Olivia blushed, the two apparently had a story to tell.

  “Excuse us,” a deep voice said from the other side of me. I looked over at two college-aged guys who already looked like they’d had one too many beers yet still had another in their hands as they tried to find their seats.

  “Yeah, dude, I think you’re in our seats,” the one with the glassiest eyes slurred.

  “No, I think we’re in the right spot. What seat are you?” I asked, shielding Sienna just a bit. Derek was thankfully already standing so I wouldn’t be alone in case these guys started trouble.

  “What the fuck does it matter? These are our seats,” the drunkest man said.

  “No, these are ours, but if you show me your ticket, I’ll try to help,” Sienna said from around me. I shifted just slightly so she wouldn’t get within view of the asshole.

  “What the fuck ever, bitch,” one of them grumbled, then pulled out his ticket and glowered. I took a step forward, pissed off and ready to hit the smug son of a bitch, but Sienna put her hand on my elbow, stopping me.

  “Whatever,” the dude mumbled. And then he stomped off to the row in front of us and they took their seats.

  It was only because Sienna was holding me back that I didn’t punch the shit out of him for calling her a bitch.

  “Don’t,” she whispered. “I’ll make sure I accidentally kick their chairs all night, but this is our first date, and we’re going to have a good time. Okay?”

  I narrowed my eyes, then gave her a quick kiss on the lips that surprised us both.

  “I should say something,” I whispered. “He doesn’t get to call you that. No one does.”

  “No, he doesn’t get to ruin tonight. Okay?”

  “He does something else, I’ll deal with it. But no one gets to call you that, Sienna. No one.”

  She cupped my face and looked at me with warmth in her eyes.

  “Thank you. Now, let’s have our own beers, and watch the Avalanche maybe actually beat Detroit. Hopefully.”

  “From your mouth to God’s ears,” Derek said from behind us, and we all laughed, the tension easing out.

  The guys in front of us didn’t look back, but they did keep drinking. A lot of drinking. I may own a bar, but I didn’t drink as much as most people might think. I had one beer and called it a night. I wanted to drive Sienna home, and frankly, I wanted to keep my wits about me because I didn’t trust the guys in front of us.

  The Avs got the puck at the first spray, and we cheered, screamed, and cursed out the opposing players for a clear icing that hadn’t actually been called. I loved sports, loved almost every sport out there, except for golf. I’d tried to get into golf, I even attempted to learn how to play, but I just couldn’t deal with the motions.

  Maybe when I got older, I would figure out what was so great about the sport.

  “I’m so glad that we’re here,” Sienna said, grinning at me. She’d had just the one beer as well, and was now drinking water, but she was still bouncing and dancing along to the music during each of the breaks.

  “I’m glad I could get tickets.”

  “These are pretty good seats for last minute. How on earth did you get them?”

  I leaned over and kissed her temple. It was nice to just kiss her, keep touching her as if I had the right to do so. She didn’t back away, and constantly wrapped her arm around my waist if we were standing or put her hand on my knee when we were sitting. “I have my ways.”

  “Sure, you do. Are you sure Diego is fine alone?” she asked as the ice girls came out with their little shovels to scrape off some of the ice.

  “Dillon’s stopping by to feed him and hang out with him. I’m pretty sure the kid and Diego are best friends at this point.”

  She smiled widely at that. “So, he has a key to your house and everything? That’s a big step.”

  I shrugged as if it weren’t a big deal, even though it was. “I gave it to him a couple weeks ago. Mostly because the other brothers already have a house key, so I wanted to make sure that he had one, too. Plus, if I didn’t, I was pretty sure that Cameron or Brendon would’ve just done it to get it over with.”

  “It’s good that it’s the four of you now, not just the three of you, you know?”

  I squeezed her hand, swallowing hard. I didn’t like the ball of emotion in my throat. I didn’t like to feel much of anything.

  “I’m figuring it out. Probably a little slower than the others want me to, but I am.”

  Sienna just shook her head and leaned into me. “You’re doing it on your own time, and you might’ve been an asshole before, but you aren’t now. You’re allowed to have your own reactions, and you’re allowed to figure out what you need.”

  I just looked down at her in awe. Everyone else thought I was an asshole for the way I had treated Dillon when we first heard about him. And for the fact that I hadn’t known about him for far too long because I had cut ties with Cameron. Yeah, Brendon had done it too, but I was pretty much the one who had done it first. Because I had been pissed off at my twin for leaving me, for abandoning me for our addict mother. And it didn’t matter that I thought I had been in the right. In the end, I had been wrong. All of us had. And Dillon was the one who’d been hurt because of it.

  But we were learning. Somehow.

  We got to the end of the second period, the Avs down by one but doing pretty well considering, and we both decided to get up and get something to snack on. Derek and Olivia came with us, as did the drunk guys in front of us. We went the opposite way from them, maybe out of instinct, or perhaps just because we didn’t want to deal with the guys who had been screaming throughout the entire match and practically spilling beer on one another. I didn’t know why they were still allowed to be there, but whatever. I wasn’t going to let them ruin my date.

  “So, how long have you two known each other?” Olivia asked, leaning into her husband. “And I’m totally being nosy. Sorry. I heard you say ‘first date,’ but it looks like you’re friends, too.”

  “Olivia,” Derek whispered, kissing the top of his wife’s head. “You don’t have to know everyone’s histories. And you should know that more than anyone.” He winked at her, and she blushed.

  Seriously, this couple had so many layers that I kind of wanted to figure them out, but Derek was bigger than me, so I wasn’t going to ask. The fact that he was a tattoo artist with full sleeves and could probably bench press me was not lost on me. However, I knew where I was going to get a tattoo the next time I needed one. I’d heard good things about Montgomery, but the fact that I now knew one of the artists was probably a plus for me.

  “We’ve been friends since we were in high school,” Sienna said, looking at me. “Seems like forever.”

  “Yeah, it kind of has been.”

  “And this is your first date? Oh, how sweet,” Olivia said as she clasped her hands in front of herself. “But I’ll stop asking more because you’re both looking a little awkwardly at me, and I realize I’m a little pushy.”

 
“I think I just found a new friend,” Sienna said, looking up at me before going back to talk to Olivia. I just met Derek’s gaze, and we each shook our heads.

  Apparently, our women were going to be fast friends, and the fact that I had just said “our women” was a big step for me. I had asked Sienna out for more than one reason, but it had been so I could talk with her. So I could figure out exactly what was going on inside my mind. But we weren’t acting like this was a first date. Because maybe it wasn’t. We’d already had sex—very, very good sex. We’d already been through a whole hell of a lot together.

  So, while this might be our first actual date, I felt like we’d had more than just this one moment.

  Derek and Olivia went off to make a phone call after we got our snacks, and I stood in the waiting area with Sienna for a bit. That way, we didn’t have to go straight to our seats. There was something I needed to say to her, and while this probably wasn’t the best time, I didn’t want to keep it down for too much longer. I had a feeling if I did, it would get weirder than it already was. I seriously wasn’t any good at this whole relationship thing. Hadn’t been since Allison, and it was showing.

  “Hey, Sienna? There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “Oh?” Sienna asked. She looked a little worried, and I held back a wince. I really wasn’t good at this.

  “So, I know this seems like a first date, but there’s something that you should probably know.” I let out a breath. Just do it fast, and it’s not a big deal, right? “Back when we were in school before I started dating Allison, before we all became the group of friends we were, I had a crush on you. And it seems silly in retrospect to even mention it, but I wanted you to know that it wasn’t just that one night at your place. It wasn’t just me asking you out and using a kitten to get it done. I just thought you should know.”

  She blinked, and I just stared at her. She had frozen at the mention of Allison’s name, and I knew that was something else we needed to talk more about. Because no matter how much time passed and what happened between us, Allison would always be here. And that was something we needed to work through.

  “I guess I should tell you that I had a crush on you, too,” she said, her voice small. “More so before you started dating Allison, and then I pushed it away because it didn’t matter. You were with her.”

  A sharp bark of a laugh escaped, and I ignored it when people looked at me. Relief and confusion slid through me. There was so much between us, and we just kept ignoring it. Except now. Now, we couldn’t. And maybe that was a good thing. I wasn’t like Brendon or Cameron, who were good at talking about shit. But I was learning. “We are something, aren’t we? Because I thought you didn’t like me, thought that you didn’t want anything to do with me, so...”

  “So you went out with Allison,” Sienna said, her voice a little wooden. “And I was just a little shy, so I didn’t say anything. But Allison wasn’t shy.”

  “No, she wasn’t.” I swallowed hard. “And I can’t regret being with her, if that makes sense.”

  This was seriously not the place or time for this, but I didn’t want to stop, not now that we were talking.

  “I get it. I really do. And I guess we need to talk about that, too. But maybe not here.”

  I reached out and cupped her face. “Yeah, not here. But we will. I probably shouldn’t have brought it up here, but I’ve never been great at timing.”

  “Timing? What’s that?”

  I leaned down to kiss her, but she darted forward at that moment, rapping her forehead against my chin. I cursed and looked down at her pale face.

  The drunk dudes that had been in front of us for the whole game were smirking at her, standing far too close for comfort, and I clenched my jaw, anger radiating through my body.

  “Hey, no wonder you want to tap that ass. Feels kind of nice.”

  “Don’t you dare touch me again,” Sienna growled, her voice a little shaky.

  “The fuck is wrong with you?” I asked, taking a step forward as I gripped the man’s shirt. His drunk face paled just a bit, but I still saw the smirk. I fisted my hand at my side and winced, just remembering at that moment that I had just fucking broken that hand from punching a man.

  “Aiden, just let it go. Just stop. Please?” I looked over at Sienna, aware that people were all around us but just looking at her. She was shaking, her body rigid, her face pale. And then I knew that it wasn’t just me thinking about the last time I had punched someone. She was clearly not over the assault, and I was just making it worse. Like I always fucking did.

  “Fuck,” I growled and let the man go. “You better back off. Just go.”

  The little dipshits ran away, and no one really seemed to notice what had just happened. Everyone was worried about their sports and all that other shit, and here I was, making things weird.

  “Can we go home?” Sienna asked, her voice emotionless. “I think I want to go home.”

  I reached out to touch her, but she flinched. And that’s when I knew that maybe I had fucked up. Again. Like usual.

  “How about we go see Diego, and then I’ll take you home?” I knew she needed space, but I also didn’t want her to be alone until she wasn’t so pale.

  “Okay,” she said with a sigh. “I’d like to see Diego.”

  And then she reached out and took my hand, my non-injured hand, and we left the game, not knowing who might win, but knowing that our night was probably over.

  I had fucked up, but so had those guys. Sienna would normally be the one to stand up for herself and kick the guy in the groin or something, and the fact that she hadn’t, worried me more than it should. Or maybe it didn’t worry me enough. I didn’t know, but it was something we needed to talk about. I just didn’t know how to bring it up.

  We didn’t talk on the drive back to my place, just let the music play as things got a little more uncomfortable.

  She just stared out the window, her hand thankfully on mine as I drove. I didn’t mind driving one-handed, and I counted the fact that she was still touching me as a win.

  When we got to my house, and I let her in, Diego came running out and jumped on Sienna’s leg. She lowered to a seated position, picked up the little kitten, and rubbed her face on the little guy’s head.

  “You are seriously the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen,” she said, her voice soft.

  “He’s a menace, and I should probably keep him somewhere safer than just in my house roaming about. But he learned how to open the door to my bedroom, so there’s really no way out of it.”

  She looked up at me then, smiling, even though it didn’t reach her eyes. “How did he do that? He’s tiny.”

  “He sort of stretched from my dresser over to the door, and since I have the handles that go up and down rather than circular ones, I’m kind of screwed. So, he has free rein in the house. We are installing child locks on my cabinets, though.”

  “He’ll probably figure that out, and then you’ll just be the one having to deal with opening cabinets and hurting yourself. Especially with that hand of yours. Believe me, I know. Four cats, remember?”

  I sat down next to her in the middle of my foyer and just looked at her.

  “I’m sorry. Sorry for reacting the way I did. I should’ve talked first, reacted second. But those guys just blew my temper. And I think that’s a problem. But I’m sorry.”

  She looked down at Diego, petting the little purring ball of fur and raising him up to her chin. “I’m fine. I guess I’m just not over it.”

  I wasn’t either.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No.” She said it quickly, and I held back a curse.

  “But maybe you should.”

  She was silent for a moment. “Maybe you should, too.”

  “Maybe.”

  We were silent for another moment, just sitting next to each other, not touching. Diego’s purrs were loud enough to rattle the windows, even though he was so tiny.

  I didn
’t know how to fix this, didn’t know how to make things better.

  But then again, I didn’t know how to fix myself.

  I hated that this had happened to her, and there was nothing I could do about it. Because trying to protect her, at least physically, just seemed to make things worse.

  We sat there for a few more minutes until Diego fell asleep, and she handed him over to me so she could stand up, take the cat back, then put him on his little bed on the couch.

  She tucked him in, kissed the top of his furry little head, and then looked at me.

  I swallowed hard and then walked the few steps between us so I could kiss her softly.

  She melted into me, and I held back a sigh of relief.

  We could still do this. We could still make this work.

  At least, I hoped so.

  “Let me take you home,” I whispered.

  “I think that would be best. But, Aiden? I’d like to do this again.”

  I let out an audible sigh. “Oh, thank God. Tonight didn’t end the way I wanted. But I want to take you out again. I want to figure out what this is.”

  “Okay,” she whispered.

  And then I kissed her again before we walked back out to my car and I took her home.

  She frowned at the mailbox when I pulled in, and I turned off the engine, looking at her. “What’s wrong?”

  “The flag’s up, and I don’t remember putting anything in.”

  The hairs on the back of my neck rose, but I shook it off since it made no sense. “Let me check it with you,” I whispered.

  “I’ll be fine, it’s just a mailbox.”

  “And we’ve seen enough movies to know it’s never just a mailbox.”

  “Touché.”

  But we walked to the receptacle together, and she opened it as I stood in front of her. “It’s just a rose. Weird, though.”