I Know What's Real

by Maggie Kane

  His cell phone rings again. His eyes hold my vicious glare for a moment longer before he answers it. “Hi, Gene. Yeah, sorry. I got detained. I’ll be back in about five minutes. Yeah, I’ll hurry.”

  He tucks the phone back into his jacket pocket and buttons the front. He looks every inch the executive, hard, cold, and calculating. It only serves to remind me that I don’t even know this man. I don’t know anything about him other than my body desires him and my heart is halfway in love with him.

  “Take it easy. We’ve got the cart before the horse- again.” Alec pulls his hand through his hair. “Listen, I’ve got a buddy who is an editor. He said he’d like to talk to you. You’re a great writer. You earned a Lisbon award and won the Tribune’s essay contest three years running. You can’t tell me that you actually want to write catalogs and tech manuals. There’s nothing more here for you, Kinsey.”

  My mouth falls open at his audacity. He actually looked up my resume and called an editor on my behalf. I don’t know if I should be pissed or flattered. His words, unfortunately, hit too close to home. The last several days have brought into focus that my life is on the slow boat to nowhere.

  “I don’t need your handout,” I snap and hold up my hand to silence his denial. I blow out a big sigh and put my hands on my hips. “This whole thing is crazy.”

  “Look, I can’t finish this right now- and Kinsey this is far from over.” He closes the space between us and pulls me to him. My first impulse is to bring my knee up hard, but his lips on mine chase away all thought of violence. Despite my anger, I can’t help but kiss him back. He breaks the kiss and whispers, “I know what’s real, Kinsey. It doesn’t get any more real than this.”

  Before I can reply, he’s striding from the room, leaving me standing half-naked and completely wrong-footed. How had this gotten so far out of hand?

  Tears leak from my eyes as I dress. I splash water on my face and tell myself to get a grip. People will be filing back into the offices after lunch and I don’t want to be seen sneaking out of our new president’s office. I straighten my clothes and check my reflection. The blotches on my face and neck telegraph my distress, but otherwise, I don’t look like I’ve been fucked in more ways than one in the last few minutes.

  I turn to leave and on impulse, I grab his shirt that I had been wearing. What can I say- I’m a romantic.

  Chapter 22

  I throw myself into the afternoon meetings trying to blot out the image of Kinsey in nothing but my shirt, her hands on her hips, spitting mad. Even though at that moment she looked ready to disembowel me, she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. That definitely hadn’t gone as I planned, but then again, none of this has been planned.

  By the end of the afternoon, I am exhausted and have a raging headache. I’ve used every scrap of energy to sell my plan and ignore the gnawing worry in the center of my gut. I can’t stop myself from checking my emails but am not surprised when they are ominously quiet. I pop a couple of Ibuprofen and chase them with a couple of Tums- my go-to tonic for stress headaches. I pull my gym bag out of the closet and notice that my shirt Kinsey wore earlier is gone. I check the bathroom and around the office. It isn’t here. The smallest wisp of hope roots in my chest as I leave the office. Perhaps all is not lost after all.

  Two days later, that little bit of hope is quickly withering to dust. I haven’t heard a peep from Kinsey. I bury myself in work with endless meetings and extra hours. When Kinsey’s contract comes up for review, the committee votes unanimously to continue her employment. I pull a few strings so I handle her notification personally. I don’t bother to try to justify it to myself as anything other than desperation to have a reason to contact her.

  Dear Kinsey,

  I am pleased to inform you that your contract has been reviewed and was unanimously supported for renewal. The committee recognizes your valued contributions to the Arrow Industries team.

  Please sign and return the attached contract.

  Thank you,

  Alec McClaren

  My friend’s name is Brad Hawkins. You’ll find his contact information on the second attachment. Please give it some consideration.- Alec

  I let out a frustrated sigh. The last two days have been torture. I miss her. I miss the excitement and thrill of talking and playing with her. In a few short days, she consumed me to the point that her absence has me feeling unbalanced like I’m missing something vital. I tell myself again that it was just an infatuation even as my words come back to me- “It doesn’t get any more real than this.” I guess that’s why it hurts so much.

  Chapter 23

  I stare at my screen and flip back and forth between the contract and the name that Alec gave me. The last couple of days have been a misery. How could I get so wrapped up in him in a week? I think about him constantly during my waking hours and my sleep is full of sex and shadows that leave me aching in the morning. I guess that is what you get when you put the ‘cart in front of the horse’ and jump straight to mind-blowing sex without doing things like dinner or exchanging last names. Why does everything feel so completely out of synch without him?

  Steve and Stephan tried to cheer me up by taking me out for dinner last night. When I wasn’t able to enjoy my favorite enchiladas, they concluded that I’ve found love and are busy picking out tuxes for the wedding. Their advice- follow my heart and take a chance. Easy to say when you’re not the one risking a roof over your head. I can’t imagine what I will tell Max if we have to move back in with my parents.

  Of course, the prospect of being a ‘real’ writer has me practically drooling. I’d be a fool to pass up the opportunity. This is a chance to make a connection with an actual editor. No more submitting my manuscript to be lost amid the sea of faceless wanna-be authors sending in scraps to be picked over. The process of getting noticed in this business is not for the faint of heart and I just got handed a pass to the front of the line. It’s like something out of the movies. I couldn’t have written it better myself.

  I sigh again. It seems that my life has become one long sigh, and I’m getting pretty sick and tired of it. With a sudden surge of energy fueled by frustration, I call the Brad Hawkins. 20 minutes later, I have a lunch set up to discuss further details of what I’ve written and what he thinks I can do with it. I am over the moon excited. I do a happy dance and give Max a kiss and celebratory hotdog. I refuse to think that without Alec’s introduction, I wouldn’t have had a chance. He might have gotten my foot in the door, but it’s up to me to push that door wide open.

  I stare at the email and read it through for the tenth time. I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this. After our meeting, Brad sent my stuff to a couple of agents, and one actually wants to move ahead with one of the stories. She wants a full-length novel. I try not to hyperventilate when I think about it. We’ve arranged an advance and I’ve picked up a few freelance gigs on the side. With what I have in the bank and just a little luck, Max and I won’t be living under a bridge at the end of the summer. It still seems so surreal, but I can’t ignore that something is missing. I hit send and I send up a prayer to anyone willing to listen for the help to pull this off.

  Hello Alec,

  Thank you for your patience while I reviewed my contract. After much consideration, I will have to decline the offer in order to pursue other endeavors. My last day will be June 15th. I will be happy to assist transitioning in my replacement.

  Thank you,

  Kinsey

  I turn to the other computer and chew my lip. I pluck up some courage and hit send again.

  Alec,

  Thank you for the kick in the ass and opening the door for me.

  If you still want to come through it, my door is open.

  K

  I spin slowly in the chair, thinking about the book I am going to write. I spin storylines and characters in my head and smile as I see them take shape. The chime of my email makes me jump.

  Kinsey,

  We will be sor
ry to see you go, but wish you the best in all your future endeavors. You have the talent to make anything you set your mind to a reality. Larry will be in touch with a transition plan.

  Alec

  I wait, watching my personal email, hoping for a reply there as well. After staring at it for an hour, I have a headache and a sour stomach. I blink back tears and try not to assume the worst. By the time I head to bed, I am thoroughly convinced that I have just missed an opportunity to be part of something far beyond the ordinary.

  Max’s bark breaks the silence and jerks me out of my half-asleep stupor where I have been sulking. Max never barks- it takes too much energy. I hear someone speaking to him, and a thrill of excitement rolls through me. I know that voice.

  I rush downstairs without even thinking about what I look like with my bed head and wearing nothing but Alec’s shirt that I have taken to sleeping in. I find him in the living room, rubbing Max on the belly and talking quietly to him.

  “Quite the guard dog you’ve got here. He didn’t make a peep the last time I was here.”

  “You must have caught him between naps,” I say dropping my eyes to the floor, unsure of what to say next. In the silence, I suddenly realize that I am standing there in nothing but panties and his shirt. My cheeks instantly flush, and I lift my eyes to meet his gaze. He has apparently processed that same detail judging by the roughish grin on his face.

  That grin makes my heart squeeze. I realize how much I’ve missed him. Before I can think better of it, I launch myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck. His embrace pulls me even closer. The stress that has been riding my back, slowly twisting a painful knot between my shoulder blades, eases and I sigh let out a long sigh of contentment.

  “We need to get our horse and cart sorted out,” I say quietly.

  Alec laughs softly. “Indeed,” he says as he sits on the couch, dragging me with him. He sticks his hand out for me to shake. I lift an eyebrow in query. “This is me introducing myself properly. I’m Alec McClaren. Pleased to meet you.”

  I roll my eyes and shake his hand. “Kinsey Mallory.” My breath catches as he takes my hand to his mouth and presses kisses along the soft skin of my inner wrist.

  “Kinsey Mallory. I’m proud of you for taking a chance.” His mouth continues its exploration up my arm while his hand found its way up under my hem of my shirt.

  My stomach drops to my toes at his words and his touch. “Thank you for helping me.” My words come out in a breathless whisper. His wandering hand is ‘helping’ me in a very distracting way.

  “You are worth helping. Besides, you did the hard work.” His lips graze my neck and I relax back against the cushions, opening my legs slightly. His hand takes the opportunity to continue its erotic exploration. “I know what’s real, Kinsey.” He breathes the words against my ear and a shiver runs from my head to my toes. His mouth captures mine, slanting a fiery kiss across my lips. He rumbles a deep satisfied groan in his chest. “Your horse and cart are going to have to wait.”

  Epilogue

  We finally got the horse and cart figured out. We’ve spent the summer learning each other’s secrets, pasts, and bodies. Turns out he grew up on a farm and his middle name is Morris, for his grandfather. Max approves of him and Alec has even gotten him into jogging. Granted, he has to have a hotdog in his hand to get Max to participate, but it’s a start.

  I still work from home- our new home complete with a yard for Max- writing my novel. Alec is proving to be an amazing muse. Writing has never been easier- especially since I seem to have found a niche in writing sexy, erotic stories. I’m stuck at the moment, however, and I think my muse might just have exactly what I need to get past my writer’s block. He’s at work, but that has never stopped me before. I send the text and start to pace.

  I’ve got an emergency. My fingers can’t make the words, my pussy is aching and dripping wet, and no one around but Max. Help….

  I pace around my office, like a caged tiger. I feel like the words are hiding just around the corner. I sense Alec standing behind me, but I don’t stop. I have to find the words.

  Without warning, he reaches out and grabs me as I pass by. In one smooth move, he has me pinned to the wall. “You said you had an emergency, Mrs. McClaren,” he growls the words against my neck, his voice rough with his evident desire.

  My stomach gives a little flip at my new name. I’m still getting used to it, but I love how it sounds when he says it.

  “I can’t find the words.” I pant the words as his lips graze my neck and his teeth catch my earlobe between them.

  “Well, let’s see if we can’t find them together.” His kiss promises that we are going to find much more than words.

  His hands are impatient, pulling my shirt up and off. His mouth is hot and just as impatient as he kisses my neck and the top of my breasts. My bra is a frustration to him. I quickly undo it before he is tempted to rip it off. A firm yank and my shorts and panties are around my knees. The wall is cool on my backside and contrasts deliciously with the hot hard male at my front.

  Alec pulls me tightly against him and spins me around. With a slight push, he sends me sprawling into my chair. Kneeling in front of me, his mouth explores my body. His teeth on my aching nipples make me hiss as his fingers slip between my already wet folds. I open my legs, denying him nothing and abandoning myself to his pleasure.

  His fingers know the rhythm of my body better than my own. The stroke of his fingers across my aching nub makes my back arch and my hips flex. I moan and grab his hand, grinding myself against him. I let my head fall back, giving him access to my neck as his kisses find my favorite spot. He bites ever so gently, and my whole body goes rigid with the pleasure of it. His low growl tells me how much he enjoys my response and fuels the rising tide of pleasure building in me.

  I let it roll through me, blossoming in my core as my body jerks with blissful spasms. His mouth claims my moan of pleasure as my nails bite into his powerful shoulder. I relax back in my chair as the intensity passes. His kiss on my lips is hot and hard and I answer it, wanting more.

  Alec stands and quickly pulls off his shorts and shirt. His hard cock makes my mouth water and I lick my lips. His smile tells me he knows what I want and he doesn’t stop me as I scoot my chair closer to take him in my mouth. I love the way he tastes. I love the hardness of him and the silken heat of him under my hand. I moan low and hungrily in my chest as I take him fully in my mouth. I suck gently as I work him in and out of my mouth. My hand grasps him firmly and works him steadily. His breath catches when I let him slide deeply to the back of my throat. I love that sound so I do it again and again. His hands grasp my hair as his hips flex toward me. I suck him hard, and my body clenches in response to his groan. I continue moving and sucking, driving him wild. I’m on fire with desire, suddenly gripped with a longing for him to be inside me. My core clenches at the thought of it and I pull my mouth free from him, earning a sharp cry of protest.

  I slide from my chair quickly to the floor, arranging myself on all fours. I glance over my shoulder. “Alec,” I say his name as a plea for the pleasure I know he can give me. He grins and laughs softly as he falls to his knees behind me.

  In one smooth motion, he roots himself inside me. My head drops as a powerful surge of desire, pleasure, and emotion slams into me. My world spins apart under the force of it and I lose myself in the motion, the feel of him inside me, the rightness of it all. We slam together each time harder than the last. His groan of ecstasy sounds a split second before my own. The climax rocks us together and we ride it until he rests his head on my back and sighs my name against the sensitive skin of my back.

  I shiver in response as I slowly separate from him. He pulls me into his lap, sitting on the floor. I lay my head against his chest and listen to the rhythm of his heart. I let my eyes lazily droop as he strokes my back. I think back to the first time he touched me that night in the dark. Images slide through my mind and pieces start to fall into place. I hear
his voice, an echo from the past, “I know what’s real.”

  I suck in a gasp of air realizing that I just figured out the ending of the book. My eyes snap open and I am on my feet heading to the keyboard. I drop into my chair and give a happy spin.

  Alec laughs as he watches me, spinning naked and reaches out to catch the chair. He pulls it to him, and I wrap myself around him as he kneels in front of me. I gently cup his face in my hands and whisper, “Thank you for being real.”