If I Had . . . Then

by Mari Yamaoka

  As soon as Mika leaves the office, she runs into the nearest restroom and resets the time machine, back to the day of the thunderstorm.

  * * *

  When she opens her eyes, Mika is at the exit of her company building.

  It is raining heavily. The sky is dark. Lightning flashes and thunder shakes the skies. She looks up.

  “Umm, I don’t feel like going to class when the weather is this horrible.”

  So instead of walking to the metro station to go to the accounting class, she hops on the bus and heads home.

  Chapter 8

  MANSION (apartment)

  Mika wakes up and finds herself in the familiar studio apartment. Once again, it’s Saturday morning.

  "I'm back in the studio," Mika mutters with a sigh of relief.

  Mika rushes into the bathroom to check her face in the mirror.

  “Whew! It looks normal and healthy!”

  Although she still feels somewhat tired, but considering how much she’d been traveling back and forth between the past and the present living different lives, it’s no wonder.

  The lives she’d always felt so envious of, but once experienced, they were not so perfect after all. Every life has problems.

  And sure, maybe her original life isn’t a wonderful one, but at least she’s healthy, and no one is cheating on her, or going to die.

  She looks outside. The sun is shining, the birds are singing. A soft breeze rustles the leaves of the nearby trees.

  Mika goes to the lobby to check the mail. A real estate flyer is in the mailbox, advertising a new MANSION (apartment building). The picture on the ad. shows an attractive one-bedroom apartment located not far from her studio. Its floor plan and interior are particularly pleasing, and although most of the units had already been sold, there are a few still available to view this weekend.

  Instead of going window shopping in Harajuku, she decides to go take a look at the apartment.

  Up to this point she’d never given much thought to a long-term housing plan, as she always thought that someday she’d get married. However, if she added up all the rent she’d paid over the years, it’d add up to quite a fortune.

  “Since I haven’t got married, it’s unlikely it’ll happen any time soon. It might be better to just purchase my own residence.”

  Using the map provided on the back of the advertisement, she travels to the new apartment building, where the leftover units for sale are available for prospective buyers to inspect.

  There are compact ONE-ROOMs (studios), 1LDKs that have one bedroom, a living and dining room, and a kitchen, for singles, and 2 LDKs.

  The studios are a little wider than her current home, but otherwise not much different. The 1LDKs have a separate bedroom for privacy or for visitors, and are about twice the size of her current studio.

  The location is 2 additional stops away from downtown than her current building, and the price is quite high for a small apartment, substantially more than what she’s paying now. However, it is also a new construction, with high-quality walls, wood floors, and better amenities.

  After she finishes looking around, a real estate saleswoman waves Mika over to sit down at her consultation desk.

  She flashes Mika a sales smile. "Now that we’re on sale, we can offer you the 1LDK at a special discount price."

  Mika leans forward and asks, "How much of a discount?"

  "We can take 5 percent off, and additionally we can provide lamps, cabinets for the walls, and 2 air conditioner units for free. If you were to purchase them, they would cost 1 million yen."

  "That’s not bad, definitely worth considering."

  "How much can you afford for the down payment? For this property, the minimum amount is just 500,000 yen." The sales representative shows the loan estimate calculation chart for a 1LDK unit.

  Truthfully, Mika has very little savings. But she does still own the stocks she’d bought 12 years ago, and held on all this time without selling. She also has some golden jewelry she’d purchased in her early thirties. She’d kept them stowed away, planning to use them to cover the cost of her wedding ceremony and reception. But, since she’s unlikely to marry anytime soon, perhaps it’s time to use them to upgrade her everyday lifestyle.

  Together, the stocks and gold are worth about 2,750,000 yen at the current market price. Part of the interior cost is incurred by the realtor, so she can put that amount on the down payment and purchase fee.

  "I think I can afford two million yen for the down payment," Mika says.

  "In that case, we can reduce the amount of the loan a little." The saleswoman draws up a new estimate for a 30-year loan of 21 million yen. "If you pay evenly, it will be 86,130 yen a month, or 1,033,560 yen per year."

  "I guess I can afford that, but I am a bit worried about still having to pay off loans even when I’ll be over 60 years old."

  "If you pay an additional 500,000 yen every two years, you can shorten the period and pay it off completely by the time you turn 60."

  “If that’s the case, it might turn out okay. But it’s hard to say for sure, especially not knowing if I’ll continue to live alone, or eventually get married."

  "If you do get married, you can sell the 1LDK apartment and upgrade to a 3LDK family type apartment in the suburbs simply by adding the amount of the price difference."

  Mika bites her lip. "Well, that does sound nice. Now be honest with me: should I buy this property?"

  The woman smiles. "Yes, you should. I strongly recommend it. It’s a good deal, and I’m certain you won’t regret it.”

  Mika thinks it over a little longer. It’s time for a change, and hasn’t she worked hard enough, for such a long time? “Okay,” she decides, “I’ll take it!”

  “Fantastic!” the saleswoman responds. “Well then… could you fill out this document?"

  Mika begins filling out the form. In the middle, she pauses when she reaches a question about employment status, her current position, and how many years she’s had continuous employment.

  It’s only been a year since she was let go from her old job and started her clerical work. “I’ve only been working at my current job for 1 year. Is that okay?”

  "Only 1 year? What did you do before that?"

  "At my previous job I worked as a regular employee for 6 years, and before that I had a regular job for 4 years at another company."

  "Is that so? But since then, it seems you’ve secured your work and income, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Also, our company sets up the loan using the purchased property as collateral. However, another collateral property besides this one is necessary as a guarantee."

  Mika frowns, thinking. “Okay, I think I can figure something out.” She steps outside, and gives her parents a call. They’re excited at the prospect of Mika buying a new house, and give their consent to become a guarantor, and offer their house as collateral.

  A month later, the loan is granted, and Mika signs a purchase agreement. The very next weekend, she moves into her new home. She installs the new curtains and sets up her new furniture.

  Finally, I’m the owner of my home.

  She checks the counter and the cabinets. Everything is new and comfortable, and life seems so bright. The bathroom even has a WASHLET (bidet toilet). She couldn’t have one at her old unit, since it was a prefabricated bath.

  It’s small, but it’s comfortable. But most important, it’s mine. My own castle.

  Chapter 9

  Female Researcher

  A female scientist named Asuka Christine smiles as she watches Mika settling into her new residence.

  The screen is called a Different Time Space Monitor. Several similar monitors fill the laboratory, displaying various scenes from the past as well as the current date and time. The current date is in the year 2080.

  Multiple doors fill the center of the room, leading to other laboratories and the individual offices of each researcher.

  Asuka is one of many researchers of 4-dimensional space
-time and electromagnetic fields. She also researches time machines.

  She steps through one of the doors and into her personal laboratory. On her desk is a translucent monitor of the workstation.

  In the center of the wall is a large monitor that reflects the day and night map of the world in addition to the time. Several smaller monitors on the sidewalls alternate between multiple family photos.

  Asuka Christine is a clear-brained, competent scientist of mixed Japanese and Caucasian descent.

  The photographs on the monitors are from her graduate school graduation ceremony, as well as some from high school, and her early childhood.

  One of them is from when she was 8 years old. An elderly lady who appears to be somewhere in her 70’s sits beside Asuka with her arm around her.

  It’s Mika. The traces of 40-year-old Mika’s face still clearly remain.

  The pictures change to one with a baby, Caucasian father, Japanese mother and an elderly lady - probably the baby’s grandmother. The baby girl is Asuka. The lady sitting next to them looks like she is in her late 60s. Close up of her face shows a senior Mika.

  Asuka smiles at the photo, and then leaves her office and gets into a self-driven car.

  The car soundlessly zooms through the streets of the futuristic town, and enters a suburban green area. Asuka steps out of the car in front of a house.

  A garden fills most of the front yard. Near the back is a hedge where countless flowers bloom, surrounding a single-storied house.

  Its appearance is similar to one from the 2020s. The roof is covered with solar panels, but from the perspective of a city in the 2080s, it’s considered an old-fashioned house.

  The smart-car had informed Mika of Asuka’s expected arrival time. Asuka is greeted by a gray-haired woman. It’s Mika, who looks older than in the photos shown in Asuka’s office.

  In 2050, human beings discovered treatments to overcome cancer, and developed drugs for dementia that have become available to even the general public.

  The technology for skin and organ regeneration using parts from one’s own body have also become commonplace, making it possible to treat weakened parts of the body with a transplant of the regenerated area.

  In 2080, many people live to be 120 years old. 102 year old is still a healthy age. With the advancement of AI, the use of domestic robots, assisting robots, and companion robots, has become common. Robots specializing in senior care make sure aged people continue living comfortable, fulfilling lives.

  Chapter 10

  Today

  Mika wakes up in the bedroom of her newly purchased, newly constructed 1LDK apartment.

  For a moment, she can’t remember if she was in another place, or if this is another present resulting from changes made in the past.

  No, this is the home she earned herself, inspired by the lives she lived when she went back to her past and changed the present.

  The bedroom is not enclosed by four walls, but rather has one side fashioned from dividing doors that open into the living area.

  Mika finds a letter on the counter, with Asuka’s name on it. She opens it, and begins to read.

  Since you’ve become a veteran time-traveler, visiting so many different times in the past, what would you think about visiting the future?

  “Yes, I’ve been to the past many times,” she mumbles to herself, “but I’ve never been to the future. If I continue living my present life like this, what will my future be like?”

  After all her trips to the past, Mika has come to understand how much her own behavior shapes her life. Every day is a continuous sequence of choices that shape her lifestyles.

  “I wonder what will become of me in 2050?” The thought makes her grin mischievously, and stand up in excitement. “Why not go check?”

  Without giving it any more thought, Mika sets the time machine to 2050, and jumps into the 3D magnetic field.

  * * *

  When Mika opens her eyes, she is sitting in front of the Buddhist alter for deceased relatives, and sees her parents’ and brother’s posthumous names inscribed into the tablets called IHAIs. She has a Buddhist rosary in hand.

  “Have you all gone now?” she asks, tears filling her eyes. “I feel so lonely, am I all alone in this world? Oh, no! I don’t like this at all; there has to be something I can do!”

  Mika quickly pulls out the time machine again and back into the 3D magnetic field, returning to the present age.

  * * *

  She finds herself back in her 1LDK apartment, then immediately calls her mother.

  "Hello?" Mika asks as soon as the line picks up.

  "Hello, Mika?” her mom’s scratchy voice answers. “Is something wrong?”

  Mika breathes out a heavy sigh of relief.

  "No, not really, Mom. I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”

  "Life as usual."

  Mika smiles. "Is it OK if I come over to visit next Saturday?"

  "Yes. What time will you be coming?"

  "Around noon. And I’ll buy something delicious, and bring lunch boxes."

  “Sounds good, honey. See you then.”

  “Love you, Mom,” Mika says, and hangs up the phone.

  She falls back into her bed. “I feel so relieved! Mom is still alive. I need to take better care of my parents. I’ve been so preoccupied with myself that I’ve barely given them any thought! I owe my entire existence to them.”

  Which reminds me: who is that relative of mine in the future? My child, nephew, niece? Or maybe my grandchild?

  Will I be able to have children? I might not be seeing anyone now, but if I stay single, I’ll never have children. By the time I turn 70, I want to be surrounded by children and grandchildren! But if I want to achieve that, I need to get married within 2 or 3 years, then deliver a child or two, or adopt a couple.

  Mika rolls over in bed, her mind racing with thought. But if I am to marry, it must be someone who would cherish me with real, responsible forever-love, just like he’d take care of a beloved pet until its final days.

  That's right; she shouldn’t leave it to fortune, but create her own future. She’d learned that much, at least.

  And if that’s the case, I need to keep trying. But like Tomomi said on my birthday, I shouldn’t decide by only surface looks and income, but by real character and compatibility.

  The most important thing of all is how he treats me.

  That last thought reminds her: someone had e-mailed her recently. A divorced single, but he has an air like he has learned from his past failures.

  In the e-mail, he’d asked her to go to dinner with him, but when Mika first read it she wasn’t interested. Maybe she’d been too hasty, after everything she’d been through.

  A date? Is she ready to try again so soon? Then again, she has goals now, and remembers how lonely she was when visiting the future.

  Mika answers that she can meet him.

  On the day of the match making-date, Mika checks her clothes in front of the mirror. She doesn’t look like she’s bursting with energy like youngsters in their 20’s, but she’s still looking pretty good. Accompanied with the experiences of life, she has a stable and calm air.

  The blind date went OK. It didn’t have the fire of love, like Kenji—he seems to be a sincere, ordinary man. She decides to see how it goes for a while.

  But what about work, and her career?

  She doesn’t want to be someone focused too much on her job, and she doesn’t want to become a money monger. Yet, she does want to have a sufficient income and long-term financial plan.

  Since the day she stopped going to the accounting courses, she hasn’t made much effort to build a career, was instead simply waiting for the encounter with her marriage partner.

  But from now on, she wants to live more autonomously. She should take up accounting courses again.

  “Yes, let me search if there are any available at that school.”

  Mika examines the accounting course catalog, and finds one similar
to the one she had quit. “Okay, this is it. No giving up this time.”

  She calls the school, and registers. When she hangs up, she can’t stop smiling, feeling utterly satisfied with her decision.

  Mika begins attending school seminars, more dedicated and committed than ever before. Once she finishes, she intends to work as an accountant in an accounting firm, or open her own accounting office.

  She will do her best to avoid being a workaholic, like in the time travel that shortened her life expectancy. She intends to live a healthy and balanced life, understanding that everyday meals and day-to-day decisions will affect her tomorrow.

  Rather than relying on other people, I will be the one who shapes my life. I should not expect other people to do something for me. I will make my own path.

  One day in 2019, Mika is confidently striding down the avenue of Harajuku, carrying work documents.

  She sits down to relax at a frequently visited café, drinking herbal tea and taking in the atmosphere.

  A man stands up from a nearby table and heads towards the exit. But he left an envelope on the table.

  "Mister, you forgot your envelope!" Mika grabs it and chases the man.

  He turns back at the doorway. "Ah, how silly of me!

  I completely forgot, thank you very much."

  He’s handsome, Mika can’t help but notice as she smiles and hands the envelope to him.

  For a short moment, the man seems lost in her gaze, and eventually returns the smile.

  "Uh…would you like to have a meal with me sometime? As a mere token of my gratitude."