All he wanted to do was to save her from it. Shield her from it. In the end, though, all he could do was help her feel it. The guilt would fall on Vince's shoulders yet again. This time, it would be Ellie that would hate him. The one thing Vincent could not take. Reese didn't want it to be this way. He couldn't take her away from Vince. Not like this.
Reese touched her hair. “Ellie,” he breathed. “It ain’t his fault. Promise me,” he lamented, his eyes shining with tears. “Promise me, ya won't blame him.”
“Blame him?” Understanding crushed her confusion. Ellie pulled away from him. She knew exactly what he meant. “No. No!” Ellie cried, shaking her head. “He’s not gone. Don't you dare even think it!” Ellie screamed at him, coming to her feet. Her mind raced. Her heart thudded in her chest. They heard him say it. It was a thought. A terrible, evil thought, she refused to believe Edward would act on. Once again that tiny voice in the back of her head threw up doubt. Ellie doubted her brother. Denial, stubborn, and uncompromising slammed down on her.
“You'll have to kill me! Do you understand?” She couldn't get enough air. Truth won’t be denied. You can try. You can fight, and struggle against it. But truth will always shine through. Ellie couldn't let this happen. She wouldn't let Edward fall into that darkness that suffocated Reese. She had to save him from the cold ocean of evil that Vincent swam with heavy stones in his pockets every day. She could not let them hurt him. Even if it had dragged Edward down, drown out the last of his humanity. “This is not happening, Reese!” Ellie’s chest heaved. “You're going to help me find Vincent. Get Up!” She commanded grabbing his hand.
Reese took in a shaking breath. He sniffed and licked the tears from his lips. He opened his mouth to say something. Ellie wouldn't listen. She couldn't listen. It wasn't too late. When it came to Edward, it would never be too late. Ellie stomped her foot to the floor. “Get Up!” she screamed at him. She grabbed hold of his arm, pulled with every ounce of strength she had. Still, he didn't budge. Ellie pulled herself off balance. She crashed into him. The collar of her loose purple sweater slid over her shoulder.
“Please,” Ellie sobbed. “Please, Reese. Help me find him.”
Ellie understood the guilt Vincent held. Decades ago, faced with the same decision Vincent murdered his brother. Reese let go of his humanity. He let himself become something other. And Vincent no matter how much he loved him had to stop him. That was the difference between them. Faced with the notion that his brother was too far-gone, Vincent did the right thing. Ellie told Vincent once no matter what Edward did. She would never be able to kill him. She would not give up on him.
Reese looked up at the ceiling. He tried hard to fight the tears. To fight the emotions that crushed him. Ellie touched his hair. She ran her fingertips over his lips. She put every ounce of her love for him into their friendship. She never let herself get lost in the desire for him. Ellie knew he loved her. She sniffed and leaned forward laying her lips against his. It was a brush of silken skin. She closed her eyes. Reese was still against her.
“If you love me, Reese, you won't do this,” Ellie whispered. “Help me find him. Please.”
A sob tore its way loose from his chest. Reese took her hand in his. He closed his eyes against the flood of emotions that tore through him. Reese shook his head. “Ya know he's right. I know ya do,” he breathed against her.
They still hadn't learned. They always underestimated the things she would do. The lengths she would go to. If he wouldn't help her, she would do it herself. Ellie didn't care if she had to track Vincent down with bloody feet, she would find him. She would make him understand. Ellie leaned forward touching her forehead to his once more.
“If you kill him, Reese, I’ll burn with him,” she breathed.
Reese looked into her face. She would never find Vince on her own. She hadn’t given up on Vince. She didn’t give up on him. After everything, he did to her. Reese swallowed past the hate, the anger that bubbled up inside him. There had to be a way to keep this from coming full circle. There had to be a way to save her from the pain that was gathering over them like storm clouds. There had to be a way to save Vince.
She had to find Vincent before he did anything stupid. Ellie had to find him to tell him that this wasn't his fight. That he didn't have to protect her from Edward. There was no need. If they decided to start this, there was nothing she could do to stop it. Just like that, she was preparing herself for death. She’d almost let go of that feeling. Funny how fast it came back to her.
Ellie walked away from him. The living room was empty as she padded through it. She fished the keys to the Dodge out of the bowl, slipped into her beat up Chucks. Ellie was out the door, rounding the front end when she heard the passenger door open. Reese looked at her, tears still shimmering in his eyes. He shook his head and climbed inside.
Ellie couldn't help the relief that flooded through her when she saw his face. He shut the door, just stared out the front window. Ellie took a moment to look at him before she slid the key into the ignition. Ellie really did love them, both of them. She licked her lips, reaching up to tuck her hair back behind her ears.
“I love you, Reese.” Ellie had to say it out loud.
She told him once they were the only thing that still felt real to her. It was true. The Hale brothers dragged her into a new world. Ellie loved her brother. That’s why she was still here, even when every cell of her body screamed at her to run as far as she could away from this place. That love had her clinging to their crumbling relationship with three slipping fingers.
At one time, nothing could come between them. Then Vincent crashed into her. Love is a cataclysmic event. Like a rock colliding from outer space, it destroys everything you thought you knew so something new can begin. That meteoric blast sent them spinning irrevocably in different directions. No matter how hard Ellie tried, she just couldn’t close the gap. Change ate away everything she had. It was something she hadn't mourned until now. Ellie just thought they needed time. Now she was afraid they wouldn't get it.
Ellie turned the key. The beast of a truck rumbled to life. The headlights swept over the house as she pulled it around, and headed down the road. They were both silent for a long time. Reese slumped in his seat glaring out the window. Ellie was lost in her own thoughts. She took in a deep breath, just to blow it back out again.
“He's not lost, Reese.”
“Not yet,” was all he could say.
She didn't want to believe him. Ellie couldn't believe him. He let her drive for hours without even trying to feel for Vince. He just wanted her away from that house for now. Reese wanted her safe from Edward. They would find Vince, and he would try to talk them into driving, just leaving. Just the three of them, like he’d wanted to months ago. He couldn't let Vince do this, not again. Reese had to protect him from it.
This would all end in fire and smoke. It would burn everything they had. Ellie was far too close to the flames. Reese would tell her anything, any lie to convince her to run. It was the only way he could save them both. Reese couldn't let this happen again. He sniffed and reached across the seat. Reese took her hand in his, laced his fingers between hers slow.
“Turn that way,” he said into the deafening silence of the cab.
Chapter 42
“Where are you?” Charlie cried. She sounded worried. “What happened last night?”
Ellie was tired. There was an ache behind her right eye. They had been driving for hours, all through the night. As far north as they were, she was surprised they even got the call. Reese had taken the wheel when sunlight broke over the mountains. He’d taken them off road. Ellie had no idea where they were.
“We're looking for Vincent,” was all Ellie told her.
“Promise you will call when you find him. I'm worried sick about all of you,” Charlie said, she sounded tired too.
“I'll call,” Ellie assured her. Something mangled came over the line just before it went dead. Ellie dropped the phone onto the seat wi
th a heavy sigh. “Well,” she grumbled, running her hand through her hair. “It's official. Past no man’s land.”
The tension had ebbed, but only slightly. They were both lost in their own thoughts for most of the drive. Ellie hoped she could stop this before it started. She spent the night forcing herself to remember every good thing about her brother. Reminding herself why she loved him. Ellie kept telling herself he was stronger than whatever evil slithered inside him now.
Reese spent the drive trying to figure out how to get her to run. How to convince Vince all was not lost, not by a long shot. He had to convince Vincent he didn't have to go through this again. Reese could feel him, a brush in the back of his mind, his sorrow, his rage. Vincent had gone supernova. Years of bottling every ounce of anger, the glass finally shattered. Vince had cut a bloody swath of destruction through the countryside.
“Ellie,” Reese began.
“If it's about Edward, I don't want to hear it.” Ellie was not in the mood. She pulled the sweater up over her shoulder just to have it fall back down. Her frown deepened. She huffed out an annoyed breath and turned up the heat.
“Let's leave,” he said. Ellie turned to look at him, her arms folded over her chest. “Let's find Vince and go. Just us. We can hunt down those crazy fucks. We can turn Verens to rubble. I don't care. Let’s just go.” Reese split his gaze between her and the trees that were coming at them. The road had run out miles ago. Now they maneuvered their way through thick forests full of tall pine trees.
Ellie stared at him for a moment, her eyes narrowing. He reached across the seat taking her hand. Ellie swallowed. “Where would we go?” she asked.
“I don't care. Ya know Edward is safe. There ain't been a whiff of a security team. Or the other one. Let's just leave, please?” he pleaded, looking into her eyes.
She licked her lips. Ellie thought about it a hundred times. She loved them, all of them. Ellie hated the fear of not being able to protect them. It was better on the road. There was only one problem. What if they were right? If Edward lost it, they would be the only ones that could stop him.
Reese slowed the truck down to a crawl, then to a stop. He looked out over the landscape in front of them and sighed. Reese gazed at her. He wouldn't be able to talk her into staying here. Even if she did, she ran the same risk of freezing to death. This far north, high in the mountains the wind blew hard and cold. Summer may be breaking out across the rest of the world. Here it ran screaming, not willing to even try.
“We’ll have to walk from here,” Reese told her, shutting off the truck. She looked at the landscape around them. All she had on were a pair of black leggings, a navy-blue tank top with a loose purple sweater over it. With the truck off, Ellie could feel the cold creeping in already.
“You're going to have to let me carry ya,” he told her. Ellie nodded, not prepared to argue. His heat would be the only thing that kept her from frostbite. The snow-drifts were nearly as tall as her in some places out here on the mountain. Ellie climbed out on her side. She stood there shivering, waiting for him to come around to her. Reese made a stop, pulling the extra sleeping bags they kept in the cab behind the seats free. He wrapped them around her, one around her legs and waist. The other went around her upper body. Once she was bundled, Reese lifted her, cradling her in his arms. She hooked her left arm around his neck and pulled the sleeping bag up over her other shoulder, huddling in against him.
“Reese, everything I said to Edward. I meant it to you too, both you and Vincent. I love you both, so much,” she said. Even with his unearthly heat, her teeth chattered hard inside her skull. It got worse the farther up the mountain they got. “Please, tell me that's not why he ran?”
“Ya know why he ran,” Reese grumbled, trying hard to keep his emotions in check. “When Edward breaks, and he will. It’ll fall to Vince to end him. Ya know it will happen. Ya may not want to believe it. But ya know. Just like that night when ya put a bullet in his head and emptied the rest of your clip into his chest. Ya knew he wouldn't stop.”
“He's confused. You said it yourself the monster is hard to control. It makes you do things-” she was saying. He interrupted her.
“Nothing ya ain't willing to do before!” The look in his eyes broke her heart. All of the anger in his voice did nothing to hide the sorrow in his eyes. “The infection ain't what made me a monster, Ellie. It just made me a better one. I was a murderer long before we were attacked. And Vince was the same. He may have been an awful soldier, but he was one hell of a killer. Even better than me.”
The emotion breaking in his voice quieted all her excuses. His hands shook. Ellie laid her head against the concave space of his neck and shoulders. Her fingertips moved over the bare flesh of the back of his long neck.
“Vince walks on broken glass trying to hide it from ya. Trying to pretend he ain't what he is,” Reese told her.
“I called him a monster. He still thinks that's how I see him, doesn't he?”
Reese took in a deep breath. The frigid air scorched his lungs. He looked down at her. Memories of Vince growing up stole over him, memories of their father. He knew exactly the demons that Vince danced with. He’d watched both of them fight it his whole life.
“Ellie, it ain’t the Monster Vince is afraid of,” he told her, pushing through the knee-deep snow.
“What do you mean?” she asked, rolling her head to look up at him. The cold was bone-numbing. The wind sharp, she could feel the sting of tiny cuts across her cheeks. If there were ever a place on earth that could be mistaken for hell, this would be it. Cold and bleak, it was an ocean of white with no end, no warmth to be found. The thought of Vincent lost in this place was too much. She had to find him.
“Vince is afraid of himself. He's afraid he’s just like Jasper Hale.”
“That's your father, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Reese made a sound in his throat. It was part laugh, part growl. “The Sarge was… he was angry. He was full of rage all the time. And when he lost control it was like a mountain erupting. Vince has that same rage. Ya add the infection on top of it-” Reese licked his lips. He closed his eyes, his head falling forward a touch. “The Sarge loved one thing. That was our mother, Nora. He loved her with everything he had, and still, he went off on her. Hurt her.” Reese pulled her in tighter. “Vince is afraid he’s the same way,” he breathed. “He’s afraid that no matter how hard he tries to protect ya from everything. He'll never be able to protect ya from himself.”
So much about Vincent began to make sense with that one sentence. She took in a deep breath. The frigid air burned her. “I'll bet she never left him.” Ellie fought hard not to cry when she said it.
Reese pressed his head against hers. “No, she never even thought about it.” He shifted her in his embrace, closing his arms around her tightly.
“Whatever this is, this beast intensifies what we are. The hunger is there, but it's more than that. We feel everything a thousand times harder. We love more intensely. We hate so deep. Every desire is earth shattering.” Reese sighed, giving his head a shake. “Ya hate killing because the rush that comes along with it is so amazing.”
Ellie shook her head trying to deny what he was saying. “I,” she began.
He looked down at her. “I can feel it, Ellie, your emotions. I know. Ya force yourself to let it haunt ya because you’re afraid ya like it,” Reese told her. “Vince and I, we ain’t like ya. We ain’t that strong. Neither is Edward. Mark me, your brother is losing himself in that feeling, and it ain’t got a damned thing to do with being infected.”
“I won't kill him! I won't do what Vincent did to you,” Ellie cried. Hating that what he was saying rang so true, all of it, even what he said about Edward. “I can't.”
“Then ya can't hate Vince when he’s got to do it for ya.”
Ellie looked away from him. “He's not gone yet!” She let her anger fill her up. Let her denial shut out the truth of what he was telling her. She had to believe Edward could be saved, j
ust like Reese had.
Reese took off at a full run. She held on tight, flinching at the trees that appeared out of nowhere. Ellie closed her eyes. It gave her time to think about what he'd said. Vincent was so broken. He was like a stained glass window, so amazingly beautiful, but there were such deep cracks that ran all the way through it. Ellie honestly didn't know what part of Vincent she loved more. Was it his beauty or the cracks that marred it? She called out Vincent's name. Prayed he would hear her. She hoped beyond anything else that he would answer her call. Ellie couldn't lose him now.
“Vincent, please! Baby, it's me,” she cried out.
Reese's head snapped to the west, and Ellie’s eyes widened. Did Reese hear him? Reese veered in that direction. Ellie sat forward in his arms, trying to get a better view. In the distance, a shadow in the blowing snow. It was there, then gone again. Ellie thought she saw something, “Vincent?” She practically screamed his name, pulling away from Reese. Reese’s hands clamped down on her. Almost painfully, her skin was a throbbing thing. Reese had such a heavy hand. Vincent touched her with gentle reverence. Reese barely controlled his inhuman strength. Ellie had to remind him more than once that she was human. Reese held her fast.
A loud bellow made her heart stop. That dark shadow was much closer than she originally thought. A massive paw with bony claws slashed down at them. Reese turned his body, shielding her from the blow. The claw tore down his hip, his thigh. Reese cried out with the pain of it, going down on one knee. Ellie spilled out of his arms into the snow. She fought hard to get to her feet.
It wasn't an easy task in the heavy powder. Ellie spotted Vincent's Monster. It dropped out of the sky onto the trunk of a tree that she could barely see. His razored claws sank deep into the wood. Vincent pushed off the tree, launching himself onto the Grizzly's back. Ellie watched with wide eyes as the monster ripped into the bear's fur. Blood sprayed out across the snow. The bear came up on two legs, trying to shake him off. It bellowed. The sound reverberated in Ellie's chest. The thing’s massive paws reached back. A claw caught Vincent's leg, tearing his dark flesh. The Monster grimaced.
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