Spring Frost

by Kailin Gow

  But his touch was dangerous, now.

  I sighed as we rode faster into the Winter Kingdom. Would our struggles ever be at an end?

  Chapter 9

  The ride back to the Winter Kingdom took longer than we had expected. There were no obstacles in our path, but somehow the stress had taken its toll on all of us, and we could see the first cresting of dawn on the horizon by the time the Winter Court came into view. I sighed as I caught a glimpse of its bright, gleaming spires. The stained glass window – an enormous, flower-shaped structure on the east end of the castle – gleamed with the rising sun, sending patterns of color onto the snow, dancing like rainbows. I gasped at the site. Its beauty cheered me, warmed my heart. My flesh, however, was another story. Logan’s touch had stopped the Freezing, at least temporarily, but I knew in my heart that it was no permanent solution.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Shasta breathed softly, looking all around her. “I mean, last time I was here…” Her voice trailed off and her expression tinged with sadness. “Last time I was here it was dark. There was so much destruction, so much death…now at least they have hope. We have hope.” She looked up at Rodney, who squeezed her hand and smiled at her, love in his eyes. “When we left here we didn’t know if the suns would ever shine again on Feyland – and now, look!” She made a motion towards the sky. “Two of them, shining more brightly than ever before.” She turned to me. “We’re all scared of this Sorceress, Breena. Me as much as anyone else. But at the same time…we can’t forget all the good we’ve done. The war between Winter and Summer is over. The suns are restored. Whatever happens, we’ll at least have succeeded in that.”

  “Sometimes it seems like the evil’s too great,” admitted Logan. “Like no matter how much we do, no matter how hard we fight – there’s always more to do. I don’t know if we’ll ever get to just…you know…rest.”

  Kian and I exchanged glances. We knew as much as anyone did how strong the desire for rest was. Only a few weeks ago I’d dreamed of marrying Kian, of making a life with him. I had agreed to be his bride. But now it seemed that our dream would be put on hold for the foreseeable future. I turned to Shasta and sighed. Surely the same was true for her and Rodney – more true, in fact, since she and Rodney had been together even longer. We were all waiting for the troubles to end – to go home to the people we loved. Me to Kian. Rodney to Shasta. Alistair to Rose. Logan drew in breath sharply and I turned back to him.

  Poor Logan, I thought. Even when all this was over, even when we defeated this Sorceress (if we defeated this sorceress – but I couldn’t dwell on that!), then he’d have nobody to go back to. Part of me wished that I could find someone out there for him, someone for Logan to love who could love him as fully and undividedly as I could not. But Logan’s loyalty made it impossible; I would have his heart no matter what. Even if I didn’t want it.

  Or did I want it? I couldn’t deny that the feeling of his arms around me made me tingle, ever so slightly. It was a comfortable, familiar feeling. But having him so close to me only made me more aware of what I could not give him, of what I could never give him. If I loved him at all, I knew – I would have to let him go. Let him find love somewhere else.

  Was it hard for him, I wondered? Being among all these couples. Granted, Rose and Alistair hadn’t exactly verbalized their attraction – although I was pretty sure that what I saw in Alistair’s eyes was nothing short of puppy love – but they definitely had some serious tension between them. And Logan remained so noble, so solemn and strong, even as I knew his heart was breaking inside. My heart ached for him, for his pain. If only there was some way I could make it all go away. But I knew deep down that the only way to make it okay in his heart was to succumb to his love: a choice I could never make.

  We made our way into the palace. There, we were greeted by Silverwing, a young attendant whom I recognized from our visit with the Winter Queen some months ago.

  “Greetings, your Highness,” said Silverwing, bowing to me and to Kian.

  “How has the palace been getting on in our absence?” asked Kian brusquely. “Are the lands recovering?”

  Silverwing smiled broadly. “Yes, your Highness. The day the suns returned to the sky there was a great day of feasting – for we knew that our King and Queen had saved us!”

  “Not just us,” I cut in. “Rose and Rodney and Shasta and Alistair and…Logan. They were all part of the effort.”

  “The crops began to grow anew,” Silverwing looked overjoyed. “And for three days and nights we celebrated. Winter and Summer together took to the fields to begin sowing new seeds and reaping fruit and vegetables that grew overnight – the magic of the earth restored.”

  “Together?” Kian smiled wryly. “See what we have wrought, my darling? Who would have imagined it? A few years ago they would have called us mad to predict that Summer and Winter would harvest the same fields, reap the same crops. But now look! Can you not see it?” He kissed me and I did my best not to recoil. My body ached for him even as I feared his touch; the more I thought of the pain that would shudder through me, the more I desired it, for at least that pain meant that my love was near me. I knew too that Kian was trying to cheer me up – if these were to be my last days alive, I thought bitterly – then at least I’d want to know that I’d done something useful in my life.

  Perhaps I had. As I looked around at the courtiers, I couldn’t help but smile. One by one they brought sumptuous dishes forth – a breakfast even more lavish and luxurious than the one we had eaten the previous day in Autumn Springs. There was something vaguely comforting about being in the Winter Court, among friends at last. The good food warmed my spirit, if not my body. But more important still was the sight of my old friends and subjects – together at last. At least one third of the attendants at the Winter Court were people I recognized from the Summer Court, and seeing them working together, seeing Summer and Winter as friends at last, made me feel as if my life were worth something, after all. Even if I do die, I told myself, at least I’ve accomplished something. At least I’ve accomplished this. I didn’t want to die – I didn’t feel ready. But as I looked around me I knew that, whether or not I survived this, Feyland would. Whatever Clariss brought against us, whatever tactics she used – we would beat her together. Clariss may be strong, but the combined power of Feyland would be stronger. She would never overpower this great land.

  I looked over at Kian and his eyes were blazing with love. In his gaze I could see all of his pride, all of his happiness, at seeing his homeland reunited once more. “Come, my lady,” he whispered in my ear. “You’re looking distractingly lovely. Might I steal you away?”

  We looked around, but the others were too busy eating and drinking to notice us. We slipped away to Kian’s bedroom, a room I recognized from my previous visit. The sheets were silver and blue; the walls were lined with exquisite silver carvings, the floor with marble.

  “Shall I light a fire to warm you?” He had only to say the word, and then the fireplace blazed with hot, sultry light. “We don’t have to touch if it hurts you, Breena. We can just sit together, in front of the fire.”

  “No suffering can be as great as not touching you, Kian,” I explained. “Logan may be able to warm my body – but he doesn’t have my heart. You do, Kian. You know that.”

  Kian smiled sadly. “I believe you,” he said. “But sometimes I wonder…”

  “Are you still jealous? Because of what happened at the mountain?”

  Kian sighed. “Not jealous,” he said at last. “Only…”

  “Only what?”

  “I don’t ever want you to feel that you have to be with me. If I don’t make you happy…”

  “Believe me,” I said, “if I feel that I have to be with you, it’s only because my body and soul alike are telling me that I’d die without you. I want to be with you. I care for Logan as a friend – but you…”

  Kian nodded.

  I leaned in and kissed him, bracing myself for the
impact. It was slow and sweet – hesitant at first – but the fire of my passion seemed to drown out the chills. I pulled him towards me, kissing him more roughly, giving into my desire. I could withstand the pain – better the pain than another moment staring into his steel-blue eyes, unable to press my mouth against his…

  “Are you sure?” Kian looked surprised.

  “I’m sure!”

  “It’s been too far long!” Kian’s telepathic voice echoed into my head, along with his physical voice. It was an intense sensation.

  In an instant we were on the bed, tangling our limbs in the silken fabric. His mouth on mine, was the sweetest touch, and then it became hungrier and more passionate. Even with the pain of the cold, I felt more alive, more joyous, than I had since the stabbing. Every fiber of my being ached for Kian and I to become one. If I was going to die, then I had to make the most of the little time I had left. And I wanted to spend that time with him. With the man I loved.

  We were interrupted by a frantic knocking on the door.

  “Breena, Breena! Kian! Hurry!” Rodney and Shasta’s voice distracted us from our passion. Kian leaped to his feet, placing a fur dressing gown around his shoulders.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Hurry!” Shasta cried. “Before he kills him!”

  “Kills who? What are you talking about?”

  “Alistair! He’s got Logan – and he’s going to kill him!”

  Chapter 10

  Kian and I followed Shasta and Rodney, our hearts pounding. Was this the moment we’d been waiting for – the moment during which the madness that had been seeping into Alistair’s brain at last overpowered him? I shuddered at the thought. Surely there had to be some hope, something we could do, some power…

  But Clariss’ words echoed in my brain, haunting me in their cruelty. One of you will have to slay him. I thought of Rose – her pale face and her flushed cheeks – would she have to watch as I killed the man she loved? But if there wasn’t any cure, I knew, then we had no choice: Alistair would have to die, or else we would all die with him.

  Shasta led us back into the dining hall. A throng of people made a circle; we pushed through them hurriedly. There, in the center of the room, Alistair was standing upon one of the long tables we had been banqueting on only moments before, pinning Logan to the ground with magic: two long spindles of dark light emerging from his fingertips.

  “Alistair?” I tried to keep my voice as gentle as possible so as not to frighten him. “Alistair, what’s going on?”

  The soothing tone I had attempted to adopt seemed to work. Alistair looked up, distracted – just for a moment. Enough time for Kian to rush at Alistair, attempting to tackle him full-on.

  But Alistair looked back down just in time. A single flash of lightning – a black illumination that seemed to blind us all – pushed Kian back against the wall. He fell with a loud crash; my heart briefly stopped. But Kian’s moan of pain brought me some relief – he was alive, I thought. At least he was alive.

  “Alistair, what are you doing?” I took another step forward, trying not to spook him. “That’s Logan – our friend! You know that…”

  But another voice interrupted us, coming into the fray. “Alistair!” It was a light, sweet woman’s voice. Rose’s. “Please, Alistair – just let Logan go, okay?”

  Alistair turned to Rose. I saw his face filled with anger, with white-hot rage. I had never seen a face so devoid of humanity: Alistair’s smile was a mocking, cruel one, but there was no light in his eyes. There was only anger, only pain. “I know what I saw!” he cried. “I saw you with him, Rose. I know what you were doing.”

  Kian and I looked at each other in surprise. What was Alistair talking about? But when I followed Rose’s gaze, I was even more shocked: Rose was looking straight at Logan. Logan? What had Alistair seen?

  “I saw the two of you together – so close…you were holding hands, snickering about something, whispering behind my back…”

  “What are you talking about, Alistair?” Rose looked genuinely confused. Her eyelids fluttered lightly. “This isn’t like you at all. You’re not the kind of person to get jealous – or violent. And in any case, Alistair, please believe me – you have nothing to be jealous about!” She took another step towards him, pleading with him: her eyes had grown wide with pity and fear. I couldn’t imagine anyone refusing Rose in this state – she looked so soft, so innocent, so pliant. But Alistair wasn’t having any of it.

  “Nothing?” Alistair laughed – a dark, hollow laugh. “Nothing, really?” His face twitched with anger; his frustration seemed to seethe through the room like dark smoke. “What do you say to that, Logan? Rose says it’s “nothing!” Well, is it nothing for you too, eh? Do you feel “nothing”? Is that what you feel?”

  Logan and Rose exchanged a quick, almost imperceptible glance. I could see Rose draw in breath sharply, her chest heaving with tension. She was poised, waiting – an inscrutable look upon her face.

  “Of course, Alistair!” Logan scrambled up to a sitting position. “You know that. Remember, I was the one who encouraged you to go after Rose. I’m your friend – and you are mine. You know where my heart lies…” Logan shot a sad glance at me, and at my side I could feel Kian stiffen. “Not even magic could change that. Rose knows it too – and she certainly doesn’t feel anything either.”

  Only I noticed Rose colored slightly – very slightly – when she spoke. I too was blushing; I looked down at the floor. I didn’t want Kian to see that Logan could still bring the crimson to my cheeks.

  “Come on, Alistair!” Rodney stepped forward, placing his broad chest squarely between Alistair and Rose. “You know Rose. You trust her. She’s kind-hearted to a fault. She was probably consoling Logan – it’s been a stressful time for all of us and you know as well as we do that now is the time for us all to stick together. Rose would never betray your trust like that, would you, Rose?”

  Rose stumbled over her words. “N-n-o, of course not! Alistair, let Logan go! You’re making something out of nothing.”

  “Rose is a Harvester Fey,” Rodney said. “She knows how to get in touch with the animals – she’s the only one of us who can communicate with Logan’s Wolf side. That doesn’t mean there’s anything between them. We all have to do our bit to find a cure, to defeat the Sorceress. We can’t get distracted by petty jealousies.”

  “No,” Alistair shook his head, crouching down to the floor. “You don’t understand. She’s playing with me – they’re playing with me?”

  “Who’s playing with you, Alistair?” Rose stepped forth.

  “These images…these faces…” Alistair covered his head with his hand. “I can’t stop – I can’t stop seeing these faces. Haunting me. Overtaking me. Whenever I close my eyes – I see her…” He pointed to Rose, who put her face in her hands. “She’s lying to me, betraying me, hurting me…”

  “It’s not true!” cried Rose. “I never did anything! I promise…”

  “It’s the poison…” I walked over to Rose, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. “He’s hallucinating – seeing visions. That book is driving him mad. It’s not the real Alistair…”

  Cold comfort, I felt. Kian and his Winter Knights had their swords drawn, ready willing and able to attack at any time. Rose didn’t take her eyes off Alistair, staring at him with a soulful gaze. “How do we fix it?” Her voice was small and trembling.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “Stand down,” I barked to the knights.

  Alistair was rocking back and forth on his heels, his head against his knees.

  “We’ve got a clear shot, your Highness,” Silverwing said. “He’s distracted. We can seize him…”

  “No!” cried Rose. “Don’t hurt him!”

  “Your Highness?” Silverwing asked.

  “Wait!” I cried. “We need to see if we can talk him down, first.”

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Logan warily scrambling to his feet, taking advantage of Alistair’s
distraction. He slid backwards, trying to avoid Alistair’s gaze.

  “Oh no you don’t!” Alistair whipped around, his hand shooting out towards Logan’s face. Instantly Logan was thrown backwards, hurling through the air until he crashed with a sickening crunch against the stone walls of the palace.

  “Logan, no!” I cried. Logan lolled forward, blood pouring from his forehead. Kian rushed to his side, feeling his pulse.

  “He’s alive!” he called. “But weak. Alistair, you need to…”

  “He stands in my way!” roared Alistair. “He took the only thing I’ve ever loved…”

  “What are you…”