by Nikki Ashton
I almost burst with pride – Elmo had been his most favorite toy, and he’d never let him out of his sight for almost two years.
“You sure?” I asked, feeling a lump in my throat.
“Yep. He might make her feel better.”
I pulled him against me and kissed the crown of his head, inhaling his smell, knowing that very soon these sort of hugs would be few and very far between.
“I’m sure she’ll love it.”
“I’ll get him from my room.” He escaped from my arms and ran up the stairs, thudding on each one until I heard his door open and slam against the wall.
“He’s very excited about meeting her,” Annie said, following my gaze to the landing. “He kind of thinks Dex is the shit and so wants to please him by being nice to his daughter.”
I turned to Annie, my shoulders going back and my neck lengthening as surprise hit me.
“He does?”
“God, yeah. I think it was Dex not kicking off when he vommed all over him that did it. Plus, he sees how happy he makes you.”
I stared at her open mouthed.
“We all do, Mum.”
With a grin, she turned and walked to the kitchen, where she was in charge of making trifle for pudding.
Almost two hours later, we were all sitting down to dinner and I couldn’t help the grin that enveloped my face. The kids had been amazing with Savannah and she seemed to instantly adore them, leaving the safety of Dex’s arms to go and sit with Charlie as he showed her what Elmo could do.
“Well this is going well,” Dex said, his eyes watching Savannah chat to Annie while eating her spaghetti.
“She seems to like them, and they love her.”
All three of my kids had told me how cute she was, especially her tiny voice with its Texan drawl. Her first words to them had been “How y’all doin’?” In fact, I thought Annie was going to pee her pants with excitement and joy.
“You think maybe we can slip into the kitchen for five minutes alone time?” Dex asked.
I didn’t answer, but threw my napkin onto my empty plate and pushed my chair back from the dining room table.
“We’re going to sort the desert out,” I announced, picking up some plates as Dex collected the rest.
“Okay,” Isaac replied while messing on his phone.
He looked up at me and gave me the grin which I was pretty sure had hooked Scarlett in the first place, before ducking his head back down. I shook my head and with a handful of dishes, led Dex to the kitchen.
As soon as we’d loaded the dishwasher, I was in his arms and he was kissing me softly along my jaw and down my neck.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry about the other day,” he groaned, his hand slipping to my bum. “I really wanted to have you in my bed.”
“I know, but you needed your sleep more.”
I giggled as Dex’s hand reached for the button of my jeans, flipping it open.
“Dex, no,” I protested. “Any of the kids could come in.”
“I know, but I’m desperate for you darlin’. It’s been too damn long.”
Heat rippled under my skin, as it recognized Dex’s touch and I arched my back, thrusting my hips toward him.
“I’ve missed this, so damn much,” he murmured as he kissed his way to the other side of my neck.
A moan of ecstasy escaped my lips and my nipples hardened against the silk of my bra, as more desire flooded through me. I had missed him too, more than he would ever realize.
“Why don’t you both stay tonight?” I suggested, lifting my chin to give Dex better access.
“I need to fuck you real bad, Katie Cat, I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep it quiet.”
He pushed closer to me and his hardness made my need even stronger.
“Maybe quiet sex will be fun. It might make it all the more exciting – it’ll seem naughty.”
“You think?” he asked, before sucking on my bottom lip.
I nodded and laced my fingers through his hair. “Yeah, I do.”
“Okay, I’ll tell Savannah we’re having a sleep over. Good thing I brought her PJs with me. Me, well I don’t need any.”
Dex’s lips now landed on mine and he kissed life into me as his hands skimmed my thighs, dangerously close to where I was desperate for them to be.
As we started to get breathless the door swung open and a little voice shouted, “Daddy I need to poop.”
Dex’s forehead dropped to mine and we both started to laugh, still clinging to each other and trying to calm our breathing down.
“Okay, sweetness. You go up to the bathroom and I’ll be with you in a few.”
“Okay, but hurry Daddy, it’s gonna be a big one.”
With that Savannah disappeared and Dex readjusted himself.
“Is this our life from now on, Katie Cat?” he asked.
“Yeah, I think so,” I replied on a little needy sigh.
“Consider that a deposit on what you’re getting later.”
With a kiss, he left me to go and help Savannah with her big poop and I couldn’t help but be amazed at how quickly he’d become a dad.
Dex
“So when the baby giraffe stood up, he fell over and his legs did the splits,” Savannah said, her face full of concentration as she told me about the nature program she’d watched before dinner with Charlie. I wasn’t sure whether she was concentrating on telling me about the birth of the giraffe, or the shit that was taking her forever.
“That’s real interesting, sweetness. What else did you see?” I asked, from my spot leaning against the sink.
She tilted her head and thought about it. Sticking her finger in the air. “Oh there was lions too and they was fightin’, and-.”
Suddenly she went silent and her little brow furrowed and her button nose wrinkled. There was a loud plop and then she grinned.
“Finished!”
After taking another lifetime to wash her hands, Savannah went down the stairs ahead of me and skipped back into the lounge. When I got in there, the kids were all sitting around watching TV or playing on cell phones and Savannah had pushed in between Charlie and Isaac on the couch.
“Hey, Isaac,” I said. “Your mom still in the kitchen?”
Isaac looked up and groaned. “Yeah, she’s talking to Dad.”
“Your dad’s here?”
I scratched my head, not liking the feeling in my gut that he being alone with Katie made. He seemed a decent enough guy, but there was something about him that unsettled me – I guessed it was the old green-eyed monster rearing its head, even though I knew they were never getting back together.
“Yeah, I’m surprised it’s taken him this long to be honest.” Isaac placed his cell face down on the arm of the chair. “Sophie threw him out over a week ago. I think Mum thought he’d be around before now too.”
“Hang on, back up a minute. Sophie threw him out of the house?” Isaac nodded and I felt my chest tighten. “And your mom knew about it?”
“She expected him to come around last week, but he’s been staying with my gran and grandad. He’s obviously had enough of them because he brought a bag with him.”
Isaac nodded toward Charlie and Savannah who were now engrossed in a game on the iPad.
“Mum doesn’t want him to know, he’ll worry,”
“Don’t know where he thinks he’s going to sleep,” Annie chipped in. “But he’s not having my bed.”
Yeah, I fucking wanted to know that too, although I had a good idea – well that wasn’t fucking happening.
“I’ll just be a minute,” I announced to no one in particular, moving quickly to the door to the hallway.
I had no idea what I was going to say to Carl, but it certainly wasn’t going to be ‘oh yeah, stay here with the woman you regret losing’.
As I reached the door to the kitchen, Katie’s tone caused me to halt in my step - she sounded angry, her voice cracking a little with emotion.
“Of course I don’t want to bring up another child, Carl. Of cour
se I wish we’d never separated.”
Bile rose in my throat.
My fucking head imploded.
My fucking heart cracked open.
A cold sweat shivered over me.
As white noise took over my headspace, all that I could center on was Katie admitting she didn’t want Savannah. She didn’t want me. Her words were like stones being pelted at my body, each one causing pain as it hit me. I’d asked her more than once, was the package of me and Savannah what she wanted and she’d never wavered from her answer. That was until Carl came back. Until Carl left his wife and wanted back in the family.
How the hell could she do this to us?
We were fucking good together.
We were making a life together.
With my head buzzing with anger and feeling numb with rage and shock, I made my way back to the lounge. Maybe I should stay and fight for her, anyone who really wanted her would. Well I did want her, more than anything, but I’d be fucked if I was going to beg. I’d never given up on anything before, but there was no disguising how she felt in the tone of her words. I couldn’t compete with that or their history.
“Savannah, sweetness say goodbye to the guys, we’re going home.” How my voice remained steady, I had no fucking idea, because inside I was a raging ball of anger ready to explode.
Everyone looked up at me with surprise on their face, although Isaac’s looked more worried.
“What’s happened?” he asked. “Is something going on with Mum and Dad?”
“No buddy.” I shook my head, grabbing Savannah’s little pink Chuck’s from the floor with a shaky hand. “We just need to go.”
As Savannah stood, I picked her up, not wanting to wait around while she tried to put her shoes back on.
“My Elmo,” she cried, holding out an arm and pointing to the toy Charlie had given to her.
Charlie passed it to her and grinned up at me. “I’m playing a football match on Sunday, if you want to come and watch.”
I gave him a weak smile and nodded. “Maybe buddy, let me see what my plans are.”
“Please Daddy,” Savannah cried. “Let’s go and watch Charlie play soccer.”
I kissed the end of her nose. “Maybe sweetness. Okay, I’ll see you around guys.”
“Dex are you sure everything is okay?” Isaac asked, standing up to face me and glancing to the door.
“Yeah sure. I’ll see you at work on Monday.”
With each of the kids shouting goodbye, I took my daughter and got the hell outta there.
Katie
The kids and I had moved from the dining table to the sofa and armchairs, deciding to eat desert later while we watched a film. Also, Dex had been upstairs with Savannah for some time, and hadn’t shown any sign of returning just yet, so it was a comfier place to wait, knowing he could be awhile.
The thought of him up there made me smile, remembering when my own kids had gone through the phase of needing to poo and then spending ages sitting on the loo and chatting, rather than getting on with the job in hand.
In fact, I actually had to smile a lot about Dex and Savannah. Despite what he might think, she already thought he hung the moon. The way she gazed at him when he spoke, whether it be to her or anyone else, was a beautiful sight. He’d been brilliant with her and it was another thing to add to all of his wonderful plus points.
“Are you all okay if Dex stays tonight?” I asked, nonchalantly fluffing up the cushion on the armchair.
“Where’s he going to sleep?” Charlie asked.
Annie groaned and threw a Jaffa Cake at him. “Don’t be such a swede, where do you think he’s going to sleep?”
Charlie shrugged, popping Annie’s missile in his mouth, and I suddenly lost my nerve.
“It’s fine,” I said, clearing my throat. “It was just an idea. No problem.”
“Mum,” Isaac sighed. “It’s okay.” He turned to Charlie. “Dex will sleep in mum’s bed and Savannah can sleep in mine.”
“In Mum’s bed?”
“Yes, squirt, in Mum’s bed.”
Charlie looked from Annie to Isaac and then to me and screwed up his nose. “So where will you sleep, Mum?”
“Charlie!” Annie cried. “Really?”
“What?” he asked, as he brushed his hair away from his eyes.
“She’s going to sleep in her bed with Dex. Okay?” Annie leaned forward and widened her eyes, willing him to understand.
“But if Savannah sleeps in your bed, where are you going to sleep?”
Isaac rolled his eyes. “The sofa, or maybe a friend’s house.”
“Which friend?”
Annie and I burst out laughing as Isaac groaned. As we waited for his response, the doorbell rang and I escaped to answer it.
Opening it up I was surprised to see Carl on my doorstep, an overnight bag slung over his shoulder and a pouty look that once upon a time, would have made me melt.
“Hey,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
“Hi Katie. I kind of need a favor.” He nodded his head sideways, indicating his bag.
“I’m sorry, Carl. I can’t, it’s not a good time. Dex and his little girl are here and are staying over.”
He let out a frustrated breath and looked up at the sky.
“Katie, if I have to spend one more night listening to my dad fart and belch through every hour, I’ll go crazy.”
“You could always go home,” I said, arching my brows.
“I don’t think that’s a possibility.” Carl dropped the bag to the floor and kicked it. “Can I just come in for a few minutes, so I can think about what to do?”
Glancing back at the stairs, I nodded and stood back to let him in. “Five minutes. We’re in the middle of dinner.”
He gave me a chin dip and walked toward the lounge.
“I’d rather you didn’t,” I said, wondering where my balls had suddenly appeared from. “Dex is just in the bathroom and we’re spending time all getting to know each other a little better. I don’t want it disrupted by you getting Charlie upset, because he will be if he thinks you’ve got nowhere to go.”
Carl thought for a few seconds and then obviously conceded I was right, as he continue walking to the kitchen. As he reached it, Isaac poked his head through the lounge doorway.
“Oh hey, Dad. You okay?”
“Hi, yes I’m fine thanks. Just wanted to see if I could stay a few days.”
As Carl wandered into the kitchen, Isaac turned to me and looked at me quizzically. I shook my head and walked to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t tell Charlie he’s here. He’ll worry if he thinks he’s got nowhere to stay.”
“Are you going to let him?”
“He has your grandparents,” was all I replied before following Carl and closing the door.
Carl was sitting at the table and spinning the salt cellar around, when I walked in. He’d removed his jacket and put it on top of his bag, which had been put on one of the chairs opposite to him. Seeing how he’d made himself at home – in my home – made my blood boil.
He had no right to come in and sit at my table, as though he actually did have a right, because he damn well didn’t. We’d sold our four bedroom detached house when we’d divorced, and with my half of the profit, money that Eric, my step-dad, had left me and a small loan from my wonderful brother, I’d bought this house. It was much smaller than we’d all been used to, but it was mine and the kid’s home and it was not Carl’s. He had his own house with Sophie and that was where he should have been.
“You do know you should go back to Sophie,” I said, making it clear with my arms crossed over my chest that I wasn’t happy.
“She threw me out, I doubt she’ll take me back yet. Sophie likes to make a point.”
He continued to play with the salt cellar and it was really annoying me, so I leaned forward and snatched it away from him.
“Well maybe you should try and apologize.” I placed the glass cellar on the co
unter next to the sink without taking my eyes from Carl. “What did you do anyway?”
Carl rolled his eyes. “Told her to call you and ask for advice on how to stop Jessie sucking her thumb.”
“Please tell me you didn’t,” I groaned.
Carl shrugged. “Annie sucked her thumb, you stopped her and I figured you’d be able to help.”
“Maybe, but asking your wife to call your ex-wife isn’t the right thing to do, you idiot.”
“I’m not an idiot. It was a perfectly reasonable suggestion.”
“You could have asked me and then made it sound like you’d remembered how we did it. Telling Sophie to call me would make her think that you think that I’m the better mother.”
“You’re older and more experienced,” he replied petulantly as he stretched his legs out and linked his hands behind his neck.
God, I wanted to punch him in the nuts.
“Not the point. So get your bag and go home or if you don’t think she’ll accept your apology, go back to your mum and dad’s, but you’re not staying here.”
“Just a couple of nights,” he pleaded.
“No, Carl. I don’t want you here. Dex and Savannah are here and are staying the night and I won’t have you ruining our evening.”
He scoffed and shook his head, inciting my anger even more.
“What does that mean?” I demanded.
“It means you don’t fool me with the new boyfriend and his kid, a kid that according to Annie he didn’t even know existed until a month ago. What sort of father is he?”
“He’s doing okay, in fact he’s doing better than okay. He had no idea how to be a father, he’s forty-six and never been around kids before, so I’d say he’s doing brilliantly to be honest.”
“Perfect bloody Dex,” Carl muttered.
“Oh stop being so childish. No one said he was perfect, but I’ll be honest, he’s been a better partner to me in a couple of months than you were in the last couple of years of our marriage.”
“Oh, well thanks for that, Katie.”
“But it’s true. You were here but you were so absent Carl, I felt as though I should report you as a missing person, even when you were lying in bed next to me.”