by Nikki Ashton
“Well I think it’ll be fine. What’s one more little sister to add to the brood?”
“Erm, I don’t think we’re quite at that stage yet.”
“Oh Mother, you’re so naïve.”
“What?” I asked, thrusting my hands to my hips.
“You’ve been at that stage since he laid the law down and told Dad he wanted to get to know us. He’s a keeper, Mum, and we’re all really happy for you, just don’t do anything stupid to mess it up.”
“Like what?”
“Like have Dad back.” She looked me in the eye and her steely gaze almost made me run in fear.
“Why on earth would I have your dad back? We were finished a long time before he left, so what makes you think it’s any different now.”
“Because Sophie Tit Wank threw him out two days ago.”
“What?” I gasped, flopping down onto Dex’s bed. “Why?”
Annie shrugged. “No idea, he won’t say, but he’s staying with Grandma and Grandad and you know how Grandad drives him mad, so I’m betting he’ll come crawling to you sooner or later.”
I shook my head. “Well he needn’t bother, because it’ll be a no from me.”
“Good. Now let’s get into town and spend Dex’s money.”
As Annie sauntered out, carefree and happy, I felt dread in my stomach that she may well be right about Carl coming to visit me.
Dex
I’d just gotten off the flight from hell, so when the first face I saw as I came through arrivals, was Katie’s, I couldn’t have been happier.
Savannah had screamed when we took off, cried for another half hour, slept for three, and then been awake for the rest of the nine hour flight. She’d been okay, a little grouchy when she first woke, but once the Stewardess gave her an iced Popsicle and we settled down to watch a couple of Disney films, I thought it was going to be smooth sailing. Then, two hours from home, Savannah May Colby, soon to be Michaels, decided she was bored and it’d be much more fun to climb all over me and run down the aisle and bang on the bathroom door every time someone went into it. I reckoned I’d lost at least seven pounds running around after her. Finally she ran herself out of energy and curled up on my knee, only to start screaming again as we started our descent.
“Oh Katie Cat,” I said against her forehead, pulling her into my arms. “Am I glad to see you.”
“I’ve missed you,” she whispered, hugging me tightly. “How’s she been?”
We both turned to look down at the cart where Savannah was curled up, asleep, on top of our cases.
“She’s a firecracker alright,” I said, stooping to stroke her hair. “I’ve gotta stop letting her get away with things because of her grief and because I’m scared shitless she’ll hate me.”
Katie smiled and cupped my cheek. “Who told you that?”
“Her case worker, her foster parents, even the old lady that sat next to us on the airplane.”
“You’ll work it out. I’ll help you. She’s gorgeous by the way.”
“Just wait until you see those eyes open, they’re beautiful. As blue as a field of Cornflowers.”
“I can’t wait, and don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”
Words I was damn glad to hear. I gave her one more kiss and then followed her out to the car.
“Darlin’, it’s amazing,” I said, looking around at Savannah’s room. “You like it honey?”
I shook Savannah’s hand in mine and looked down at her. Her shy gaze went to Katie, and with four fingers in her mouth, she nodded.
“Take your fingers out,” I said, gently pulling at her tiny hand. “Say thank you to Katie.”
Savannah’s hand left her mouth, but then wrapped around my thigh as she buried her face against the denim and muttered ‘thank you’.
“That’s okay,” Katie replied, crouching down so they were face to face. “Would you like to look in the wardrobe?” Savannah looked up at me and frowned. “Sorry, the closet. Would you like to look in the closet?”
Savannah nodded and slowly peeled herself away from me. Katie opened the closet door, allowing Savannah to look inside. The rail was full of clothes, with a rack of four pairs of shoes and two pairs of mini Converse, one pink and one yellow, underneath. Next to that were two large white plastic boxes, and I could see both were full of toys.
“For me?” Savannah asked, in a small voice.
“Yes, all for you.”
“You want to play?” I asked, wanting at least five minutes alone with Katie. The most contact we’d had was holding hands on the car journey home.
Savannah nodded and moved to the boxes.
“Here, let me get that for you honey.” I took the first box and placed it in front of Savannah’s gorgeous, white, wooden bed. “One box at a time, you know the rules.”
“Yes Daddy.” She grinned at me, and that along with her calling me daddy, made my heart swell.
She’d pretty much called me daddy from the moment I’d told her who I was. Despite the temper tantrum, she was accepting of me and giving me the name and I had to thank Lucy for that. I just wished she’d not kept to Cherry’s wishes all this time and had told me about Savannah. Apparently, according to her neighbor when I went to the house to pick up some photographs and stuff for Savannah, Lucy struggled with not telling me, but it was what Cherry had wanted, so she’d kept Savannah from me, deciding instead to put it in a letter for after her death.
“I’m just going into the living room with Katie,” I said. “You come get me if you need me or just shout. Okay?”
Savannah nodded again, barely looking at me, too interested in the dolls and Legos that Katie had got for her, as I followed Katie out.
“Gimme those lips,” I said, as soon as we were alone, pulling her to me again and kissing the damn life out of her.
“How are you darlin’?” I eventually said, once we were both breathless.
“Better now you’re back. I missed you loads.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Katie stood on tiptoes and kissed me softly. “How are you doing?”
“Scared, excited. It changes from one minute to the next to be honest.”
“Well you’re home now, and you can start getting into a routine with her. I assume that it’s all done. No courts or anything?”
“Just a formality for her name change and we’ll get visits from a social worker for a little while, just to check everything is going okay.” I sat on my couch, pulling Katie with me. “I just hope I’ve done right by her. The Henrys had a stack load of money.”
“But like you said, they wanted to send her away to school. That’s not right. And,” Katie said, snuggling against me, “it’s not like your destitute – although that credit card bill I’ve just created might make a dent.”
She grinned at me and I just had to kiss her. It was a quick peck, not nearly enough, but I’d been without her for three weeks and if I kissed her like I wanted to, well I wasn’t sure I’d stop. I now had a four-year-old to consider. That thought had me pulling away with a sigh.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just realized that when you come over, I ain’t gonna be able to fuck you anywhere I like any longer. What with little eyes and ears and all.”
“We’ll manage. We’ll do what all couples with children do; be inventive.”
I looked at her beautiful pale-blue eyes and made a promise to myself to make us work, no matter what it took.
“I’m sorry darlin’.”
“What are you sorry for?” Katie asked.
“I know this isn’t what you wanted. I know you’re waiting for the day when your kids have all flown the nest, and now I’ve introduced a small child into our relationship. A relationship that’s pretty new, so if this isn’t what you want, say now before Savannah gets attached.”
Katie shook her head. “No, I’m not going to say that, because I want us to work more than anything. I know it’s not what we were expecting to happen. I admit I had visions of us g
oing off for weekends or nights away, but we can in time. Eventually, Savannah will feel comfortable with everything and maybe she’ll do sleep overs at friend’s houses, or Annie can look after her for a weekend if we want to go away, or -.”
She stopped and started to laugh.
“Oh my God, Dex, your face. Anyone would think I’d just told you we could leave her here with just a loaf of bread and a bottle of water for the weekend.”
“Shit,” I groaned. “I’m sorry, it sounds real scary even thinking about leaving her.”
“Maybe my mum would do it instead, if it’s Annie you’re not sure about.”
Her wicked little smile made me narrow my gaze.
“If I ever leave her, Annie is fine. I don’t want to come home and find she’s had her hair dyed bright orange.”
“She’ll tell you it’s titian.”
“Whatever it is, it’s fine on your mom, just not my daughter.”
With a contented sigh, Katie snaked an arm around my waist and squeezed tight. “You’d better see how she’s doing in there.”
“Yeah, I guess so. You staying for dinner?”
“I’d better not,” Katie said a little dejected. “You need to get into a routine and having me around won’t help.”
I kissed her forehead, knowing she was right, but not really liking it.
“Okay, but I’d love it if you came over tomorrow. Savannah has a nap at around two, for an hour, and well…you get the picture.”
With a little shiver, Katie nodded.
“I’ll come over as soon as Charlie’s gone to school, I have a few days off work.”
“That would be amazing.”
“Hey, Katie Cat, gimme those lips.”
With my hand at her cheek, I kissed her with everything I had, hoping that a few snatched moments here and there would be enough for now.
Katie
I had dressed very carefully in anticipation of going to visit Dex and Savannah. I say dress; the care I’d taken had been on what I’d be wearing when I was undressed, putting on the underwear that Mandy had given to me for mine and Dex’s first date. He hadn’t seen it then, but hopefully today he’d get a good look at it. Plus, there was my new wax. Personally I thought I looked a lot like a plucked chicken with a Mohawk, but who was I to argue with my best friend and Cosmopolitan.
When Dex opened the door to me, he had Savannah on his hip and looked frazzled.
“Hey, darlin’,” he breathed out, before leaning in to kiss my cheek. “Come in, lunch will be ready in a few.”
“You cooked?” I asked, following him into the apartment.
“Hah, not as such. It’s soup and warm bread. I was gonna make us pasta, but I just lost track of time.”
Savannah peeked over his shoulder at me, four little fingers in her mouth. I gave her a smile and a wave, but she buried her face in Dex’s neck.
“Hey, you remember Katie don’t you?” Dex asked as he put Savannah down on the floor next to a pile of toys.
She nodded, without looking at me and reached for some Lego.
“She’s been a little clingy,” Dex explained in a quiet voice. “Wouldn’t even stay in here while I was in the kitchen.”
He pinched his nose with his thumb and forefinger and I could see he was absolutely shattered.
“How’s bedtime going?” I asked, taking off my jacket and hanging it and my bag over the back of one of his dining chairs.
“It’s not,” he groaned “She starts off okay, but then wakes after about three hours. It’s a constant battle putting her back into bed, her getting up again, me putting her back again. Last night, I almost gave up and let her stay up and then put her in with me.”
I looked at him warily. I didn’t want to start preaching to him, but knew that if he started like that he’d have an even bigger mountain to climb getting Savannah into a proper sleep pattern.
“I didn’t though,” he said, with a small smile. “I know it’s hard not to give in, but I have to make her realize that I’m the boss.”
I grinned at the way he almost recited it, as though he’d been told it many times and he was trying not to forget it.
“Have you tried not letting her nap in the afternoon?”
“But, Allison said she always had one.” He looked to Savannah who was playing happily and then back to me.
“I don’t know, Dex,” I shrugged. “It’s a different time zone, she’s had a big change in her life; it might just be time to start a new routine.”
“You think?”
His eyes begged for help and everything in me wanted to tell him to come and stay with me, and we’d do it together, but…well we weren’t really at that place.
“When does she start nursery school?” I asked.
Dex moved over to the dining table, beckoning me with his head to follow and picked up a letter, handing it to me.
“They say she can start next term.”
I read the letter and nodded. “That’s only five weeks away, after the one week holiday. It gives her time to settle in and for you to get her into a better pattern. Once she starts nursery she’ll expend more energy and be more tired.”
“About that, she needs a uniform and I have no fu-.” He glanced across to Savannah and rolled his eyes. “I have no idea where to get it from.”
I grinned at his slip up and cupped his cheek. “We’ll go shopping the week before she starts, or I can take her,” I said hesitantly.
“Really, you would?”
I nodded.
“Do we need to go a little sooner, won’t everywhere be sold out if I leave it?”
“No, love, they won’t. We can get what she needs from most shops.” I looked down at the list, it was all pretty basic – grey skirt, white polo shirt, red jumper or cardigan. “Plus she might grow in the next four weeks.”
He looked up at the ceiling and groaned. “There’s just so much to think about.”
“Yes, there is.”
His eyes met mine. “Do you think I’ve made the right decision?”
I looked over at Savannah who was now talking to her dolls and nodded. “Yes, I do. It’s teething problems, that’s all.”
“But, she’s struggling. She’s not sleeping, she’s clingy, and we battle all the time.”
“Kids battle with their parents, Dex, but she’s also testing your boundaries. She’s a bright little girl, she knows you’re new to this so if she can get away with things she didn’t with her grandma, or her foster mum, then she’ll try it.”
“You think that’s all it is? You don’t think she hates me?”
I laughed. “Maybe, and even if she doesn’t, she will at some point over the next twenty years or so, until maybe she becomes a parent herself.”
Dex’s eyes darkened and I saw his protective nature was already there.
“She will meet a man one day who takes your place Dex,” I giggled. “So you may as well start preparing yourself for that now.”
He grunted something about ‘little fucker better watch out’, and then pulled me into a hug.
“Thanks darlin’. I was beginning to think I’d done the worst thing possible by her by bringing her here.”
“No you haven’t, but I don’t doubt somewhere down the line she’ll say you have. When you won’t let her go out with the ‘little fucker’,” I whispered. Dex laughed and hugged me tighter. “Dex, I know we’ve only mentioned this, but I am here to help. I’m happy to do this with you, if that’s what you want.”
Dex pulled away, looking down at me, his eyes hesitant. “Are you sure? I know this has kinda messed up what we had going on, but I think we can still get where we were going to. I just don’t want you to think I only want a baby momma.”
“I don’t,” I urged. “You made it clear what you wanted before you even knew about Savannah, so I don’t think that at all.”
“This wasn’t in your plan though, Katie Cat. You were clear about that.”
I shrugged. “Maybe I was, but things
change and I know we can’t predict the future, but as long as you want me and I want you, I’m more than happy to help you and for us to progress. You let my baby puke all over you, so it’s the least I can do to return the favor.”
Dex gave me a brilliant, but tired smile and I hoped that for now I’d help alleviate his worry.
“Listen,” I said, standing on tiptoe and planting a quick kiss on his lips. “Why don’t you go and play with Savannah, or maybe put a film on and I’ll finish the lunch?”
“You okay with that?”
I nodded and pushed him toward his daughter, with a little slap to his bum. Within twenty minutes, he was fast asleep on the sofa, while Finding Nemo played on the TV, and Savannah watched with rapt attention. Even though I was disappointed my afternoon sex session had been put off, I felt content and excited for the future.
Katie
“Now,” I said, looking at each of my kids individually. “I want you to be kind and nice to Savannah, she’s a long way from home and has recently lost her grandma, so sometimes she’s a little sad.”
“Mum,” Charlie groaned. “We know, you’ve told us three times already.”
“Four,” Isaac corrected.
“There was the time where she started to tell us and then got distracted when the doorbell rang,” Annie added, looking at her nails. “So you could actually say five.”
“Four and a half,” Isaac stated.
“Okay, okay,” I huffed. “I get it, I’m a nag.”
“Not a nag as such.” Isaac grinned at me.
“Hey, Mum,” Charlie called, his head inside the cupboard under the stairs. “Do you think Savannah would like my old Toy Story DVDs?”
My heart expanded as I moved to the lounge door to watch my boy pulling out DVDs, board games, and books.
“I’ve got loads of stuff she can have.”
He appeared with a huge grin on his cute face, his overgrown hair brushing against his lashes.
“She can have my talking Elmo too, Mum.”