Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 4

by Fujino Omori

  “Sounds like it worked…”

  “That geezer isn’t dumb enough to turn down the opportunity to make a killing. Although I’m sure he wanted to see us squirm…Too bad.”

  Nahza half laughed as she responded to Lilly’s comment.

  The group had been waiting just outside the walls that surrounded Dian Cecht Familia’s home for Miach’s return.

  “Whew, that was a long day! There was no time to sit down.”

  “Ah-ha-ha…”

  A battle against time to produce the double potion was waiting for them as soon as they arrived home in Orario after collecting the eggs from the Deep Forest Seoro. While Miach and Nahza worked their fingers to the bone to meet their deadline, Bell, Lilly, and Hestia helped out in any way they could. All of them worked continuously for hours on end.

  Bell grimaced as he looked over at his exhausted goddess.

  “But you really did a good job making it. And at the last moment, too.”

  “The people of Orario are obsessed with the Dungeon and don’t even try to learn about the possibilities around them…There are so many discoveries out there just waiting for people to find them.”

  Monster eggs and Blue Papillon Wings. Nahza told Bell she’d created a new item using resources from both inside and outside the Dungeon.

  “Oh, Miach. Finished already?”

  “Yes. Everything has been settled.”

  Miach emerged from the gate and returned to the spot where the group was waiting for him. He smiled and said that they no longer had to worry about being kicked out of their own home as he looked to each person in turn.

  “Allow me to thank you once again. This was only possible because of you, and you have my gratitude.”

  “I’m happy to hear that your loan has become a little lighter.”

  “It was a quest worth doing.”

  Hestia and Lilly looked back up at him and smiled. Bell followed suit.

  Miach finally turned to face Nahza, his thin eyes smiling.

  “Nahza.”

  “Yes…”

  “Yesterday, you called yourself useless.”

  “…Yes.”

  “I have never, ever thought that even once.”

  Nahza’s eyes opened wide as she listened to Miach’s words.

  “I am a god whom you have saved many times. Even if we’re not as well off as we once were, your presence makes it all worth it. So please, don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  “…Is that an order?”

  “No, a solemn request from the god who watches over you more than any of the other children.”

  Miach stepped in front of her as he spoke, reached out, and stroked her hair.

  Caught in the warm gaze of her deity, Nahza blushed for a moment before looking at the ground. “So dense…” she whispered under her breath as he patted her head.

  Hestia watched them with a twinkle in her eye as Miach once again said and did things that could be taken the wrong way. She used the opportunity to tease him, and Lilly enjoyed every second of it. Bell forced a smile as both sides made fun of each other back and forth. Nahza took the opportunity to break out of the small circle and walked up to him.

  “Bell, thank you for today. Really…Really, thank you.”

  “Nahza…”

  The dog girl gave a deep bow before raising her head and pulling a vial out of her breast pocket.

  “Eh, isn’t that…”

  “A double potion…There was only one left over, but…this is the reward for completing the quest, and my thanks.”

  In contrast to Bell’s surprise, Nahza’s face went back to her usual drowsy expression, but with a smile on her lips.

  “If you need help with anything, tell me. After everything I’ve done, I need to make it up to you…”

  Bell’s surprise faded away as a smile bloomed on his lips big enough to rival Nahza’s.

  He took his reward from the girl’s outstretched hand.

  At long last, Bell’s quest had come to an end.

  A CAMPANELLA TO THE GODDESS

  “Goddess, I did it! I-I slew a goblin!”

  “…Ohh?”

  Hestia had been enjoying an afternoon of reading on the sofa.

  She looked up from her book when the door opened with a loud bang. That’s when she saw a white-haired human with a very proud look on his face as he proclaimed victory.

  Hestia Familia’s home, a hidden room beneath an old church.

  The room itself had two parts, one square and one long, coming together to make a P shape. While it was the perfect height for people to be comfortable, the sheer amount of furniture and other items in the room made it feel quite cramped. The building itself was rather old. There were cracks in many places all over the stone walls, and the general atmosphere of the place felt shabby and run-down.

  The light from the one magic-stone lamp on the ceiling reflecting off her blank eyes, Hestia stared at the only member of her FamiliaBell Cranell.

  The boy in front of her seemed extremely happy, his face beaming as if he’d just pulled off an amazing feat.

  “Goblin…As in that goblin? The weakest monster in the entire Dungeon, that monster?”

  “Yes! One of them nearly killed me when I was a little kid, so I’ve always been scared of them, but…today, I finally slew one!”

  “So, um…Just one?”

  “Eh?”

  “You killed one goblin and came all the way back here from the Dungeon to tell me?”

  Bell’s face suddenly went cold, his body still for several moments as he thought about Hestia’s question. He had indeed killed only one monster, the weakest one, and come all the way back home.

  The boy suddenly realized how insignificant his victory was with great dismay. The face that had been sparkling with joy moments earlier became downtrodden and ashamed. Bell turned around on the spot, hunched forward with his shoulders hanging low.

  “I’m going back to the Dungeon. Sorry to have disturbed you…”

  “Wh-wha—what?! Sorry, Bell, I wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything…H-hold on a second!”

  Not hearing Hestia’s calls, Bell disappeared from the doorway, his ears bright red from embarrassment.

  Hestia Familia had been founded three days earlier.

  That’s when Hestia had found Bell in the middle of the city and invited him to be a member of her Familia.

  After accepting her invitation and receiving her Blessing, Bell had joined the ranks of adventurers by registering with the Guild. The responsibility of providing for his Familia fell squarely on his shoulders. He welcomed this role, but being away from his hometown in a place so different from what he was used to weighed heavily on his mind as he set to work.

  Hestia watched over the boy while doing a part-time job of her own. It seemed like she was discovering something new about him every time they were together. A beautiful, young goddess who always wore her heart on her sleeve, Hestia was doing her best to get to know the shy boy struggling to come out of his shell. Even though they had only been together for a few days, they were already on very good terms.

  Among all the Familias in the city of Orario, Hestia Familia was a bottom-tier group that had to focus on earning enough money to make it through the day. The two of them were a team, building on their loose foundation as they started down this road together.

  “I was worried for a while there. If something happened and you didn’t come home, I would’ve had nightmares for a very long time.”

  “S-sorry to make you worry……”

  “Ah-ha-ha, what about? This was my fault, saying all that. I’m the one who should be apologizing. Sorry, Bell.”

  Hestia and Bell were sitting across from each other at the table in their home.

  Bell had made it safely home from his second trip to the Dungeon that day and it was now very late. The pair ate a late dinner in a room where the light of the shining moon in the night sky could not reach them.

  Bell’s total earn
ings from his first day of dungeon crawling—300 vals, all of which had been used right away to buy a few stiff loaves of bread and eggs. They spent a lot of time making the eggs look more appetizing than usual and lined them up on the table.

  Even though it wasn’t much, the yolks of the freshly cooked eggs looked warm and fresh under the light of the magic-stone lamp.

  “So how was it, Bell, your Dungeon debut? Does it seem promising?”

  “Well, I was too nervous to go all that deep, but…I can hold my own against monsters. It got easier after taking down one goblin and a kobold.”

  The extra effort put into making tonight’s dinner was to celebrate Bell’s first dungeon crawl.

  They couldn’t afford to get anything extra special, but Hestia and Bell smiled with satisfaction as they enjoyed their fried eggs on toast.

  “But I’m relieved to hear that. It sounds like you’ll be able to make a living as an adventurer, Bell. I was a little concerned that you would spend all of your time chasing after girls in the Dungeon.”

  “I-I’m not doing that, why would I be doing that?!”

  Hestia was only teasing, but Bell’s face turned bright red as his voice went up an octave or two.

  Hestia raised an eyebrow, looking at the panicking boy, and said, “I wonder.

  “You’re trying to pick up girls, aren’t you? Find some cute adventurer ladies and make them swoon as you dispatch monsters left and right. That’s when you make your move, is it not?”

  “M-make a move…! I-it’s not like that! I don’t want to get with a whole bunch of girls…Well, a little but…A-anyway, I’m looking for the girl of my dreams, the one I’m destined to be with! Like the ones in tales of heroes!”

  “Didn’t you say you wanted a harem of your own?”

  “A-a harem is a man’s romantic dream! It’s something that I must strive for as a man, just like the heroes…”

  Bell closed his ruby-red eyes, his cheeks a deeper scarlet than before as he talked.

  Hestia lightly shrugged her shoulders as she stared at Bell from across the table. Her thoughts went wild as she took in his boyish features.

  The more she knew about Bell Cranell, the stranger he seemed to be.

  Despite being extremely shy, he was a womanizer. He wanted to meet the ladies but wouldn’t make a move. In other words, his personality didn’t make sense. For better or worse, something else seemed to be motivating his words and actions from behind his pure and straightforward personality.

  Hestia believed that the cause of this inner conflict had something to do with the boy’s grandfather, the one who raised him.

  That man’s fingerprints were all over many of the stories that Bell told, as well as one or two of the thoughts in his head.

  Hestia had to marvel at this man whom she had never met and his methods of brainwashing by means of using heroes for role models. She sighed to herself, thinking about what kind of man Bell could have become if he had just had a proper upbringing. His roots, even the way he thought, could all be traced back to that one man.

  Bell’s obsession with girls and his quest to find “the one” all started and ended with him.

  The image of this beautiful girl that he left behind, or implanted, in Bell’s head must be very powerful.

  A boy whose eyes light up with a good story, his mind always in the clouds.

  That’s who the boy, Bell Cranell, really was.

  Maybe it would’ve been better if he had been born a girl. A very blunt thought passed through Hestia’s mind.

  “Gramps told me so. Meeting girls is every man’s lifelong ambition. So that’s why I…”

  “…”

  Hestia watched the boy vigorously try to explain himself.

  Hestia was learning more and more about him, her first family member.

  While Bell was in the Dungeon earning money for his Familia, Hestia also was busy working at her part-time job.

  She was a lot like Bell, in that she hadn’t lived in Orario for very long and she was always trying to figure out what she had to do next. Living on Gekai was much more difficult than the life of luxury she was used to in Tenkai. All the other gods kept saying, “Come and experience the charm of Gekai.” It was true, she would never have felt these hardships living in the upper world. But these “charms” were starting to get a little overwhelming.

  “Here you are, little Hestia. This is today’s pay.”

  “Thanks, Gram.”

  A female animal person handed her an envelope that contained her pay.

  Hestia was working at a street stand that was situated on North Main Street. They sold a snack called Crispy Potato Puffs: mashed potatoes mixed with seasoning, rolled in batter, and deep-fried to make small potato snacks.

  Whatever potion they’d been using as a secret ingredient seemed to be working because they did pretty good business every day.

  One, two, three…180 vals.

  She worked six hours today at 30 vals per hour. Despite knowing exactly how much was inside the envelope before opening it, seeing how little she earned in the palm of her hand made Hestia sigh.

  Not too long ago, she’d made a mistake when setting up the fryer and everything exploded in her face—there were zero injuries, other than Hestia’s instant breadcrumb coating. The money to make repairs was taken out of her paycheck every day. At this rate, it would be a long time before Hestia could help Bell provide for their Familia.

  This world called Gekai was extremely harsh on a young goddess who’d only just arrived.

  At least that’s what Hestia thought, never once taking her own failures into account.

  “Hey, Gram, why don’t you join my Familia? A young adventurer just joined me and we’re on our way up in the world.”

  “Ah-ha-ha, you mustn’t say such things, no-no. Good grief, Hestia, you are so persistent.”

  “But why—? Please—!”

  Hestia prepared to leave as the woman laughed at yet another invitation to join Hestia Familia, a daily occurrence at this point.

  Part of it was that Hestia Familia was an unknown group with no reputation, but the biggest problem was the goddess’s lack of dignity.

  The woman patted Hestia on the head and gave her a potato puff before seeing her out the door—she was a goddess who was being treated like a child. This realization made her sigh yet again.

  “What a long day…”

  Hestia made her way through the red evening streets, cheeks puffing out as she stuffed the whole potato puff into her mouth at once.

  Usually she was home before the sky turned a deep red, so she had, in fact, worked longer than usual today. Bell might be home already, she thought to herself as she trudged forward.

  Hestia Familia’s home, a room beneath an old church, was located on a city block between Northwest and West Main Streets. So Hestia set out due west from the street stall on North Main Street.

  At first, her route took her straight through a nice neighborhood built out of bricks and very well maintained. But the farther she went, the shabbier the buildings around her became. Really old item shops, run-down motels, and dingy pubs lined the street until she suddenly emerged onto Northwest Main.

  The street was often called “Adventurers Way” because the Guild Headquarters was built on it. Adventurers of all shapes and sizes strutted their way up and down the road. The shops and buildings that lined the street made the ones that Hestia just passed by look like piles of trash.

  “…Isn’t that…?”

  Hestia was making her way across the street, her long shadow mixing with the crowd as the sun set behind the wall that surrounded the city, when she happened to see someone by chance.

  A white-haired human boy was standing outside a shop.

  Bell…?

  The member of her Familia had his back to the throngs of adventurers and had his eyes locked on something in the shop’s show window. Seeing the boy so intensely fixated on whatever was inside made Hestia come to a stop in the middl
e of the road.

  A few moments went by before Bell’s shoulders drooped and he practically tore himself away from the window. At long last the boy took his eyes off the shop and left.

  Hestia watched him disappear into the crowd before rushing up to the window. Tup-tup-tup-tup, the soles of her shoes echoed off the stone road as she went.

  “…So that’s what it was.”

  After seeing with her own eyes what in the show window Bell had been ogling for so long, she knew why he had been so interested.

  The show window was filled with different types of weapons. Freshly polished, strong blades of all sizes sparkled beautifully in the display.

  Whether Bell had been drawn here when he was passing by or by the power of envy in a wish that he knew wouldn’t come true, Hestia didn’t know for sure.

  No matter the reason, Bell was obviously extremely interested in the weapons at this shop.

  “Hmmm…All right, this is it.”

  Hestia folded her arms across her chest and decided it was about time she did something “godlike,” giving her “child” a present. She nodded to herself. After everything that had happened, Hestia wanted someone to realize that she was indeed a goddess. And being the warmhearted deity she was, she resolved to give Bell a present.

  She figured that if she spent every val she had saved up since arriving on this world, she could get him something good. A small grin growing on her face, Hestia moved away from the window and toward the front door.

  Doing her best to remember the angle of Bell’s gaze, Hestia worked out that the boy had been looking at a shortsword. More than likely, it was the one in the back of the display, sticking out of a jewel-encrusted treasure chest. Even Hestia had to admit the blade was a work of art.

  Then, she saw the price tag. “Huh?” The sound drifted out of her mouth, her hand on the door handle and eyes blinking.

  “Eighty million vals.”

  Hestia’s fingers released the door, her body frozen in place.

  Forgive me, Bell.

  That’s impossible, she said to herself as she turned on her heel and left the shop as quickly as she could, cold sweat dripping down her neck.