Command (Changing Roles Book 1)
Page 20
“How can I trust you when you keep manipulating me?”
“I’m not manipulating you.”
“First the police station and now here? Tell me you aren’t using this case to force me—”
He lifted a hand, his tone gentle but firm. “I’m not forcing you to do anything, but tell me I’m wrong.” He gazed deeply into my eyes. “There’s something to explore here.”
“I’m so backed into a corner I can’t think straight.”
He crumpled the list. “It’s okay to be frightened. You know this. How many men have come to you, terrified of surrendering control? It’s no different now that the roles are reversed. This thing between us—”
“We don’t have a thing.” My fingers pointed between us. “There is no…us.” A complete lie. I hoped he couldn’t see through it.
“You’re wrong. From the moment we met, there’s been something, and you know it. You’ve been running from me because you feel it.”
I crossed my arms. “I’m not running.”
He gave me a look, challenging my lie. “Whatever happened, whoever’s in your past, I’m not that man. And if you drop your shields, I’m going to prove we’re good together.”
Did he know? Of course not. No one knew. My name had been sealed with the reports. I stared across the table, afraid any movement would give away some subtle clue about my past submission.
He lifted his face to the blacked-out ceiling, took in a breath, and let it out.
Slow. Measured. So damn sexy, the way the man breathed. Controlled. Powerful. Calm.
“Come on, Kate. Don’t you think I figured it out?”
Don’t admit anything. I kept my silence. Forced him to continue.
He tilted his head down, eyes narrowing, pinning me with steely blue. “You’ve subbed for someone in the past, and it didn’t end well. Most women do when they start out, but when strong women can’t find their match, they usually switch. You’re just like Mandy. She was submissive for decades before she switched. And just like you, she’s strong, beautiful, but ultimately wanted more. You’ve just been waiting for the right man to come along.”
Wanting? Waiting? He was damn cocky saying that, and hell if I didn’t admire his confidence.
He continued. “Someday, like you, she’ll find her match.” He ran a hand through his hair, the black strands curling around his knuckles. “Don’t worry. I’m strong enough to be the man you need.”
Cocky-ass bastard. Is that what he thought, that all women were waiting for a man to claim them? “Has it ever occurred to you women switch because what they wanted all along was to be in charge?”
I hated that what he said was true for me. I couldn’t deny dominating men failed to meet my needs. It was simply a filler for what I really needed. Just like he said. But part of me was afraid to give up the control I had mastered. What I didn’t like was him generalizing to all women. Sometimes he could be such a chauvinist.
“That may be true, but it’s not what you need.”
“What do you think I need?”
His eyes actually rolled. Rolled! He tapped the list. “Bondage will be required while at the Edge. I won’t bind you until you’re satisfied you can get out on your own, until you trust me, but you will be bound. We need to work through this limit.”
His lips twitched with irritation. “The more control the members see I have over you, the more freedom of movement I’ll be able to give you when we’re there. The way I see it, we go about this one of two ways. We fake it and get tossed on our asses…or we do what we both want.”
“And what is that?”
“We give it an honest go.”
“An honest go?” It wasn’t that easy. Didn’t he understand?
His fingers crept toward mine, captured them again, and held them tight. “We work this chemistry. See where it leads. I won’t force you to admit you feel it. I already know.”
“You’re an arrogant ass.” Sexy as fuck, but arrogant. As for chemistry? Well, the very air around us crackled with the intensity of it.
His eyes crinkled at the corners. “Tell me. Is it really so bad to know how much I want you? That I ache not just to claim, but to control you? I’m going to fill the emptiness inside you. So tell me, what’s there to be afraid of?”
Everything.
Loss of control could be handled. Losing myself was something else entirely.
I shifted in my seat, my gaze everywhere but on the man sitting across from me. “Listen, I have issues with bondage that I won’t discuss.”
He crumpled the list. “I see. This is what I’m thinking. You can’t trust. You’ve built up all these defensive walls. Hell, I can’t even see inside them. I can try to break them down, but that’ll just waste time we don’t have. So, I’m going for another tactic.”
“You make it sound like a battle.” And it seemed like I hadn’t been the only one devising strategy.
“Isn’t it? You’re digging in fortifications, drawing out the lines of defense. You won’t let me in. You’re so wrapped up in your role as a Domme, you can’t see the benefit of surrender, even though that’s what you so desperately need.”
I cocked my head. I knew a lot about surrender, benefits and risks. There were a hell of a lot more risks associated with surrender, especially for someone like me with a history of falling far and fast.
“Why are you so certain that’s what I want? When did I ever give you the impression being a Domme isn’t exactly what I’ve always wanted to be?”
“I said need, not want. Look at the list. I marked my limits as well.”
I pulled the sheet close and scanned it. He had indeed marked his limits, scrawled them all over the page. “I don’t get it.”
“I’m not going to ask anything of you that I’m not willing to give.” He bent down and began unlacing his boots. He pulled off one boot and rubbed his toes. He pulled off the sock and placed his foot on the floor. He bent to undo the laces of his other boot. Pulled off that sock. His toes wriggled on the floor.
His gaze pierced my soul. “So, I think I mentioned a give-and-take. I place myself in your hands. My gesture of trust. I’m giving you one night to do as you wish. Whatever it takes. Take out your frustration for whatever slight you feel I’m responsible for…at the police station and with the Board here at Stripes. Now’s your one and only chance to take it out on me.” A forced grin spread across his face. “I’m not looking forward to this, considering your reputation, but this is what I’m willing to do to earn your trust. In return, you’ll give me yours, surrender to me…and explain why that limit is there.”
I sat back, stunned by what he offered. “You’re going to sub…to me?”
He shook his head. “You misunderstand what I’m offering. I’m not submitting to you. As your Master, I’m allowing you this one night to top me.”
“To top you?” My eyes stretched wide in my surprise.
He nodded. “I reserved a room downstairs. I don’t play in public. Everything between us will remain private. I won’t expose you to the eyes of the club, and I expect the same consideration. I know what you do to your men.” He cleared his throat. “The humiliation—”
“I never humiliate them.”
His hardened stare told me he didn’t appreciate the interruption. “I would find it humiliating. But I know you have an effect on them. I’m willing to put myself in your hands.” He pulled off his shirt, making me gasp as his muscles rippled in the light.
I wanted to run my hands down his chest. Drag my fingers across his abdomen. Trace the ridges of his sculpted abs. Instead, my hand crumpled the limits list.
Jake at my mercy?
He stood and unfastened his pants.
I did not want…this.
He watched my slow perusal of his body. The expression on his face turned serious. Shit. My stomach clenched. He intended to go through with this. My gaze drifted to the breadth of his shoulders, the strong lines of his neck. The angles and planes formed by the
muscles of his chest were perfect. I would touch him if he granted permission, but taking my whip to him seemed wrong.
His hands skimmed his abs and settled over his hips. The smooth slope of his waist beckoned to me, drawing images of running my fingers along the rippling muscle. My eyes focused on the lean curve of his hips, then dipped to the treasure beneath the waistband of his pants. He shifted his weight, watching me devour him. Slowly, he dragged the zipper down.
The bulge in his crotch begged my fingers to stroke it, my mouth to pleasure him. I knew so little about him, except by reputation. His skills relayed by the women who had experienced them firsthand. Whispers of adoration and admiration.
Why, after being a Domme for all these years, did not one of my fantasies involve dominating him? They all centered on getting close, touching his skin, letting my fingers wander to all those delicious spots on a man’s body.
I wanted his arms around me, sheltering me within a cocoon of strength and safety. Darker, sensual scenes came to mind. Scenes I wasn’t entirely comfortable admitting to. Images of submission beckoned from the darkest corners. Images of whips and surrender and the utterances of commands I was bound to obey, they all swirled in my mind. Not a single one involved a whip held in my hand.
I put out a hand as he looped his thumbs under the waistband of his jeans. “Stop. Just stop.” It was the only command I would give him tonight.
He stepped closer to me. A crisp, clean scent washed over me. Stillness gathered in my mind. He reached out and brushed a strand of hair off my face, tucking it behind my ear. Calloused fingers dragging across my skin transferred the heat of his body to mine. I shivered.
“Tell me what you want.” He bent down, his voice heavy in my ears, compelling me to respond. “I’ll do this for you because I know how hard it will be for you to surrender to me.”
“I don’t want this.”
“Then what do you need?” He traced his finger along the line of my jaw.
Leaning into him despite myself, I lost the first battle. Words tumbled out of my mouth. “I need you to win.”
I needed him to take control of my world and narrow it down to a single focal point with him at the center. But I’d fight every step of the way, testing his strength. My submission would not be freely given.
He cupped my chin and forced me to look at him.
I tried to jerk away, but he held me firmly in his grasp. In control.
He bent at the waist, bringing his mouth to hover an inch above mine. Eyes fixed on me. His expression turned serious. “I have every intention of taking what I want.” He closed the distance and pressed his lips to mine.
Liquid heat seared through my body. It began in my lips, radiated down my neck to my chest and belly, and continued on a straight course to the apex of my thighs. I found myself leaning forward, parting my lips in invitation. He took my surrender, caressed my lips, and explored my mouth.
Amazing. I spun out of control, letting him wash me away into nothingness, but I couldn’t let go. Walls of panic hemmed in. I struggled and pushed him away. My hands touched his hard belly.
“Stop. Please stop.”
His body went rigid and pulled away. I didn’t know whether to be relieved he released me or pissed off that he let me go. I sat frozen and unable to act.
He moved away from me so he could zip his jeans. It was easily the sexiest move I had ever seen, watching him close his pants over his erection. For the first time in years, desire bloomed within my core to touch and be touched by the hardened shaft of a man. By him.
He bent over and pulled on his socks. Next came his boots. Hand outstretched, he gestured to me. “Come. We’re leaving.”
“Leaving? I thought…” I couldn’t form the words.
He took my hand in his. “Let’s check on your friend and let him know you’ll be back later tonight. This isn’t a safe place for you.”
Safe? What did he mean by that? “You think it’s so damn easy,” I sniped at him, “to just…switch?”
He stopped me with a finger to my lips. “No. Not at all. But you will…for me because you’re strong. I’ll have you, but not here. We need to get to know each other, establish trust, and maybe we’ll just talk like normal people.”
Except, we were anything but normal.
He drew me into the play area. “Maybe we’ll just sit across from each other all night long, holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes. Who knows?” He winked. He reached over and retrieved the crumpled piece of paper from my hands. “We’re going to finish talking about this list.” He stuffed it into his jeans pocket.
We found Pete and Mandy in a play space equipped with a large wooden chair. Pete had been strapped in, his legs manacled, spread wide so his genitals were freely accessible. Tiny red marks decorated the tops of his thighs and belly. Mandy had secured his arms over his head. She had her pussy shoved in Pete’s face, which he nuzzled as best he could. Every now and then she would flick the crop against his balls.
“He seems to really like it,” I murmured.
“Mandy likes it too,” commented Jake. “When’s the last time you saw her hump a man’s face like that? It might be awhile before she notices us.” He squeezed my hand.
I liked the warmth of his hand and its inherent strength. I might not be ready to acknowledge him as Master, but I would accept his grasp.
Mandy caught Jake’s eye. Her gaze dipped to our clasped hands. “What’s this?”
“An experiment,” said Jake levelly. He didn’t give her time to ask any further questions. “I’m taking Kate out, but I’ll bring her back to take her friend home. You have my number if you need it.”
“How mysterious. Don’t worry, Kate. I’ll take care of your friend. He’s a cutie.”
“I’m glad you like him,” I said.
Mandy nodded. “I have his whole evening planned out.” She grinned at Pete, who stared back with a hungry expression on his face. His erection jutted between his legs, engorged and wrapped with a strap. On a side table, a strap-on sat unused but within easy reach, making me wonder if Pete had altered his limits list.
Jake dragged me down to the second floor. He stopped outside the female locker room. “Get changed into your street clothes, and meet me in the lobby in fifteen minutes.” He headed down the sweeping staircase to wait for me.
I couldn’t find my voice, but in fifteen minutes I’d be outside the club with a man who proclaimed himself my new Master. All the security of Stripes and its ever-present cameras would be gone. On the one hand, no one would witness the Mistress of Pain submit to a man. Then again, there would be no one to protect me from a man I really didn’t know. The question was how much did I trust Jake Davenport?
I was about to find out.
* * *
The END…for now
Check out Book 2 in the Changing Roles Series
CONTROL
to see what comes next.
* * *
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