by Cora Davies
"It's a casserole," she said. "Comfort food."
"I know what it is," Eric said, and then realized his tone was off. It sounded empty. "Thank you."
He sat across from her at the small table and she poured a ladle full on his plate-it landed with a "plop". She laughed and it seemed to diffuse most of the tension in the room.
"I'm not used to being under all the stress anymore," she said. He noticed a basket of bread and he grabbed a piece to butter it. It smelled sweet like honey-probably homemade.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring the extra stress," Eric said, wanting to say more, but could not resist a bite of the bread. The sweetness awakened his taste buds and made him sigh in almost ecstasy.
"Just eat and let me talk, please." Hailey absently pushed food around on her plate with her fork while she watched Eric eat. "It isn't just you. It's everything. It's happening all at once. Everyone has been careful to keep everything away from me for all these years-not wanting to put too much stress on breakable Hailey. Now that everything is piling down and there is nowhere to stuff all the problems where I don't have to look at them-I don't want to deal with it all."
Hailey got up from the table and scraped her plate into the trash. Eric watched as the delicious food fell into the blue can-a waste, but she must not have an appetite. That was not like her. She sat back down next to him and flicked a piece of straw off the table.
"I had a breakdown years ago-I guess it's going to be out there if what your brother thinks is going to happen Monday actually happens. People would pay a lot of money to get dirt on you or the chick you've been shacking up with." She laughed bitterly.
"Hailey, they won't be able to dig that deep-or they won't want to straight away. If they decide there is no reason to dig around... if we don't give them a reason to think I am shacking up with you..." Eric trailed off, not sure of how to tell her of his decision to leave. He had decided as soon as he walked in the kitchen and saw her sitting next to dinner. It had been a fun few days, but if she wanted to keep her casserole life Eric needed to leave.
"Then there is the thing with whoever is sending these letters, my mom and Risa leaving, Risa getting into trouble at school, my fight with Herb, you being here for the movie rights, you... being here." Hailey paused to take a sip of what looked like lemonade. "Do you want some?"
Eric nodded, afraid to speak. His mouth was full of a combination of fatty and delicious flavors; he was almost cursing himself for avoiding casseroles his whole life. "This is delicious."
Hailey laughed, that twinkling sound, as she set a glass in front of him. "Can't eat them too often, or you'll go from getting the girl in the movies to being the funny sidekick."
Eric looked at his plate. Oh yes, the calories. Well, just this one time he would not worry about it. Not if it was the last night he would be here.
"Anyway, usually, when I have a problem, I sort it out immediately. Unless it's crazy stressful then I kind of freak out and avoid the problem until I'm forced to deal with it. Like, the world is going to end tomorrow if I don't deal with this right now. Spare me the lecture-I know I'm a mom-"
"I wouldn't give you a lecture-"
"-and I should be on top of everything. But that is not my entire identity-it doesn't make up all of who I am. Before I was a mom I was a girl in love with a boy. Before and after that I am an artist. And I think we've established, artists are bat-shit crazy."
Eric grinned.
"So, I'm kind of talking around what I want to say. I need to start cutting out the stressful things. I need to get everything back in order. You have almost a week left on our original deal, but I want you to know you don't have to stay. You have the movie rights."
Hailey spoke so quietly; Eric was almost not sure he heard her correctly. "What?"
"You have the movie rights. I called Gretel this afternoon, the paperwork is in motion. Everything should be on your desk for signatures by the end of tomorrow. Well, if you have a desk-you don't seem like a desk person. I can't guarantee you anything about the role, I don't know how any of that stuff works-but we're optioning it to your production company..."
Eric felt stunned. He had given up on the movie. He did not know what caused things to change and so fast. "Why?"
"Does there have to be a why? Can't you just be happy you got what you came for?" Hailey asked and he heard a crack in her voice. He wanted to reach out and grab her and hold her tightly against him. Keep her warm until she stopped worrying about everything in the world. But he forced himself to stay where he was. Everything had made sense last night, but now, he did not know how he felt. He did not know how she felt. Last night he was ready to give up his world to find a place in hers. Now, he felt torn between reality and this fantasy he was playing out on the ranch. The fantasy where he played a real person. He should feel relieved and happy because as she pointed out, he did get what he came for.
"I am a why person. I need to know this deal is going to come through and you're not going to go crazy artist before tomorrow and change your mind," Eric spoke with what he hoped was a funny tone, but he received daggers from Hailey.
"I just decided I need to let go. It's time to let go of it all. All these things that chain me to the ground-they keep me from knowing what I'm doing or working for. It's like living in a fog." Hailey ripped a piece of bread in half and started crumbling the pieces. "And so now, you can leave tonight. Things are going to be bad Monday whether you're here or not. I feel like it will blow over quicker if I'm not caught having sex with you."
Eric felt his body stir at the thought of having Hailey again. "If that's what you want. I can stay, try to make sure-"
"No." Hailey shook her head. "You need to get back to normal, start shooting a movie. Gretel promised me she would find a home for a different project of mine if I signed the movie rights over to your company. Something I really want to sink my teeth into.
"Another romance?"
"A different genre, something I've always wanted to do. Where they've never let me go before." Hailey smiled, and Eric actually thought he saw joy on the other side of that sad face. He reached out and touched Hailey's hand for only a second before she pulled away. He felt an ache on his skin where her hand had been-where he had briefly touched her. It was going to be harder to leave than he thought. But there was one more thing, one more reason he could not leave.
"I can't leave you alone with that guy out there-"
"I won't be alone. Jason went home to pack some things; he is going to stay with me until this blows over."
"Hailey, something like this doesn't just blow over." Eric furrowed his eyebrows and stared hard at Hailey. Did she not understand? This guy would not get bored and disappear; he would show up at some point or another. "Something like this only ends in a few ways, and it's not by blowing over."
"Okay, then Jason is going to stay with me until this ends."
"You don't want me to stay then? Not for anything?" he asked feeling rejected. But why? He was ready to get back to his real life. What he was feeling for Hailey was not returned by her in anything other than sexual attraction. Staying any longer was just going to continue to fuck with his head. It was time to stop playing around.
"No. You got what you came for." Hailey stood and walked to the kitchen door and pushed it open. The sun had completely set since they had been talking and she was walking into darkness. The thought of her alone in the dark was too much. He followed her out of the kitchen, catching up with her on the bottom stair. He wrapped his arms around her.
He felt her shoulders stiffen as if she was trying to keep him away, but could not. He wanted to see her face, but the darkness was too thick and she was facing away from him. "Please, tell me why you're crying. What did I do?"
She sighed and turned to face him. "It isn't always about you Eric."
"With you," he said touching her face and brushing a tear away from her cheek, "I feel like it is never about me."
She did not answer and in that
silence, Eric thought he could hear a cracking sound. As though his heart was splitting in two. Something he had not felt in a long time, if ever. He had not allowed himself to get this close to a woman since he was a young dumb teenager. He had let his walls fall down and forgot all rules and direction with her. He had done all of this without question that she would crumble for him because he always got what he wanted, what he expected.
"That's not true," she said, and he felt her breasts against him as she stepped into him. She punched him in the shoulder, but he knew he was like a brick against her tiny fist. "It just can't be about you."
"Why? That doesn't make sense," Eric said drawing her in closer. He was fighting against the rules and decisions he had just created for himself. Leave her alone. "It can be about whatever you want."
"No," she pushed away from him, and he let her go. "You're too unpredictable and high profile. I can't do that."
"Then just for tonight," he said holding his breath for an answer as she walked up the flight of stairs. She paused at the top step, and in the dim light spilling from her bedroom; he could just make out her arm as it reached for him.
"Just for tonight."
***
Hailey collapsed into Eric's strong arms as he lifted her and carried her to her bedroom. She wanted it to be like last night again. She had felt joy, excitement and nervousness all at the same time. She had felt as if everything were for the first time-like she had never been touched before. She did not know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but she wanted it again.
But this was their last time and things would be back to normal very soon. When was the last time she had been carried anywhere? Well, carried sober? She was sure she had some wild nights over the years that resulted in being dragged out the door by a friend or boyfriend. But this was not like them. She was not being lugged around for being an idiot-she was desired.
She leaned against his shoulder and Eric pushed open her bedroom door. He walked across the room and laid her on the bed. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Have I told you that?"
Hailey rolled her eyes and looked away. Eric cupped her chin. "See, I know you make a lot of money to say things that are believable like that, so I have a hard time-"
"Will you forget all that bullshit for five minutes?" Eric said with a sharpness to his tone. "I want a regular moment, a real moment in my life with you before I leave. All I can think is how real you are; how real it feels when I'm with you. But you don't feel that at all?"
Hailey studied Eric's eyes for a minute; she would be lying if she said she did not believe Eric. She would be lying if she said she did not feel more than a sexual connection to him. She knew what she was doing. She was deflecting. She was pushing. She was trying to keep the hurt away, keep it from hitting her too hard when he left. But, she let go of part of Paul earlier today when she called Gretel and gave her the decision. She could let go of her own stupid issues, if even just for tonight. Just like she had promised Eric on the steps a few minutes ago. Just for tonight.
Eric leaned against her resting his forehead against hers. "Hailey, what do you feel?"
"I don't really do the whole feeling thing when it comes to people outside my family," Hailey said and put a hand on Eric's mouth as it opened in protest. "Let me finish. I like to keep the feelings on lock down. I've kind of felt like that is the best way to deal with everything. But if I'm honest with you, with myself... When I'm with you I feel something real. And it is completely unreasonable and unrealistic to stretch it into anything other than I want you, and I think you want me. Because tomorrow, I want you to leave. Just because, I need life to get back to normal. As normal as it can. For both of us. But tonight, I really really like you."
"I really really like you, too," Eric said as Hailey dropped her fingers from his mouth. He kissed her, and like the first time, it took her breath away and made her heart leap into her throat. It felt so unreal. But unlike the first time, she did not believe she felt her knees shaking because she was kissing Hawkman. The fireworks came because she was kissing Eric. Strong and passionate Eric who looked at her with a hunger that made her feel more alive than she had felt in years. He touched her in a way that reminded her she was a woman, not just a mother and daughter, but she was needed for something outside of nurturing.
She grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. "You are crazy fucking dirty," Hailey said through a laugh as she saw the dirt ring around Eric's upper arms like a farmer's tan.
"And you just washed your sheets too. Maybe we should just forget the whole thing." Eric pulled back as if he was going to walk away and Hailey grabbed him.
"I'll just add laundry to your list of chores, Mr. James." Hailey tried to push him onto the bed, but she was a foot shorter and a quarter of his size under all his muscles.
"Are you trying to relocate me?" Eric asked raising an eyebrow and looked at Hailey's hands against his chest. She blushed.
"I want you on the bed." She pointed and attempted an authoritative tone. Eric's booming laughter filled the room and made the air vibrate around her.
"I had no idea you could be so commanding, Ms. Rogers," Eric said as he pulled Hailey's own shirt over her head. He unsnapped her bra before she could say anything, and brought a hand to her breast. "Of all the real things I'll miss about you, I am going to miss these real breasts most of all."
Hailey felt herself dampen as the pads of his fingers began to pull at her nipple, twisting the sensitive tip between his fingers. Eric unzipped Hailey's pants with his free hand and she was naked before she could catch her breath or beg for the light to be turned off. She reached down and unzipped Eric's jeans then pushed them to the floor.
"On the bed now mister," she said again, and this time, he complied. She studied his chiseled body, amazed at what nature could do to a man if he only made working out a huge priority. He got paid a lot to maintain those abs, and she was going to enjoy every inch of them. She crawled over his body, pressing her mouth against his, then kissed her way down his chest teasing him with her teeth. When she reached his hard cock she gripped it in both hands. "Now this is impressive. What is the exercise to keep this guy in shape?"
Eric smiled and opened his mouth to answer, but before words could leave his lips he gasped as Hailey placed him inside her mouth. She rested one hand on his ab muscles as she worked the other along with her mouth for his pleasure. It was not something Hailey usually enjoyed doing, but she felt like this was one thing Eric would not be able to fake-that she could be in complete control of. With each gasp he made, she felt braver and a bit more adventurous.
She enjoyed feeling as his thighs and stomach tensed and relaxed, the lift of his hips against her. She was doing this to Eric. The world fell away.
"Hailey," Eric moaned, and she felt his body seize under her. Suddenly, he sat up, his hands at her shoulders guiding her gently off of him.
"What?" She asked feeling embarrassed. What had she done wrong?
"You have to stop, or else I'm going to cum right now," Eric said catching his breath. "And I want to look into your eyes when I do."
Eric opened her drawer and took out a condom, and pressed Hailey against the bed. He began to massage her most intimate spot while he slid the condom down his shaft. She felt herself being carried closer to climax, and could not help but cry out his name as his massaging became more frequent. As quickly as she called his name, he was on top of her, and impaled her with a greediness that she had not felt from him yet. She felt carried over the edge the moment his large cock filled her.
"Hailey, you are so tight," Eric whispered into her ear. She smiled and wrapped her legs around his ass. His cock felt so good inside of her, stretching her and reaching to a depth that seemed to touch her very being. She thrust herself against him with each of his own rams. She wanted this to last forever, and the thought almost paralyzed her.
She did not want Eric to go. She knew he needed to; their lives were not compatible. He had too m
uch drama in his, and she wanted to keep the drama out of hers. He was a playboy; she was a mother. But a feeling was washing over her, something she never thought she could feel again. No.
She was in love with Paul; she would never be in love again. He had been her only true love, and it was unreasonable to tell herself that she would ever find someone again.
But, then before she could start telling herself to be rational, Eric pushed himself even deeper inside and she remembered once again. She was a woman, and more importantly, she had tonight. It might only be tonight, but it was time, and it was more than she had with anyone else. It did not have to be love. It only had to be enough.
Hailey arched her back and screamed out in ecstasy as Eric began to drive deeper and faster yet into her. They were both hungry for this feeling, this moment. Their bodies were formed for each other, fitting together as though they were created in the same mold then separated.
She looked at him and saw an animal like awareness in his eyes, like enough, would never be enough. Not when it came to the two of them.
This can't be real, can it?
It's real for tonight.
"Hailey, I need you," Eric said looking into her eyes.
"I just need you to shut up and fuck me," she whispered back. She saw something flash through his eyes, but then it was gone and he was powering into her with a roughness she had never felt. And god help her, she loved it.
She loved it all the way until he pushed her over the edge of that wave and crashed with her. She loved each after quake exploded through her body, enjoyed every tremble. He lay against her for a moment, both of them breathing heavily and in sync.
Hailey let her hand trail through Eric's hair and down his back and then up again. She loved the feel of his skin under her fingers, and pushed away that voice again. That voice that told her she wanted this to last forever.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Eric held out the bottle of beer to Hailey as she walked out of the bathroom. Her hair was wrapped up in a towel, and she had a short white terrycloth robe on. Eric wanted to be as clean as she was. He had taken the shower with her, but then was back into his dirty clothes.