Princess of Thorns Short Story

by Tessonja Odette

  I opened my mouth, but no words came. What did I want? I never thought I’d fall in love, not since I’d lost the only chance I thought I’d ever have. Was it possible I could move on? To find love again, or at least a worthy companion to spend my days with?

  Frederick’s face fell, and he turned away, continuing down the garden path. “If you don’t know yet, that’s all right too.”

  I hurried after him. “What is it you want?”

  “Isn’t it obvious? You.”

  My breath caught in my throat, and I felt my stomach dip. “Me? Of all the women—”

  His eyes met mine, and his lips pulled into a crooked smile. “I find you the worthiest of all.”

  I lifted my chin at his words, trying to keep from grinning like a fool. “Is that so?”

  “Yes, I think we go quite well together. We understand each other. We know what it’s like to be royal, to be sought after, to have others trip over themselves in attempt to win our hearts. We’re tired of the lies, the fake smiles, and the pressure of a forced marriage.”

  It was like he’d taken the words straight from my heart. How did he already know me so well?

  He continued, “I think we could come to an arrangement that would suit us both. Neither of us are desperate for marriage, but eventually we must follow our duties. I’d like to follow that duty with you.”

  I felt a flutter of disappointment that his declaration hadn’t been more romantic. But he was right, wasn’t he? Romantic declarations had caused me nothing but pain before. He was offering me something real, something that wouldn’t have to be coated in lies. He knew I didn’t love him yet, and I could tell he’d never force me to. At the same time, he was the one man I’d met in a very long while that I could see myself falling in love with.

  We reached the palace entrance, and Frederick faced me. “Think about it tonight, will you?”

  I nodded, even though my answer was on the tip of my tongue.

  “Meet me here at sunrise and tell me what your heart desires.”

  “I will.”

  * * *

  I paced inside my room, feeling sweat prickle the back of my neck. “I don’t know what to do, Catra.”

  She eyed me from the lounge. “I’ve never seen you so worked up over a man before.”

  I paused. “I’m not worked up. I’m…I’m…” I sank into the cushions next to her. “I hate this. I hate feeling so distraught.”

  “Maybe it’s love.”

  “It’s not love.”

  Catra sighed as if she were relieved. “Then what is it? Why are you so upset? If you don’t want to marry him, then don’t. Do what you do with all the rest.”

  “But he isn’t like the rest. He’s…different.”

  Catra pursed her lips. “Do you like him?”

  “Of course, I do. How could I not? I haven’t gotten along so well with anyone since…since…well, since you.”

  “And your childhood friend.”

  Her words made my chest feel tight, but I kept my voice flat. “Yes, and him.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with finding a good match,” Catra said. “You like him. You get along with him. Why are you hesitating?”

  “You know why.”

  “Maybe it’s time you moved on.”

  “I always told myself I’d never love again.”

  Catra threw her hands in the air. “But why? You deserve a second chance at happiness. If you keep being so stubborn, you’re going to lose something that could be better than anything you’ve ever imagined.”

  I searched for words. “Is it even possible to find love twice in one’s life?”

  “Mare, I’ve loved more men than you can imagine. I promise you, love doesn’t diminish upon repetition. It only grows with the next one.”

  My mouth fell open. “You dirty harlot!” I squealed with laughter, and she playfully swatted my arm.

  Once our laughter faded, her face grew serious. “So, what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know.”

  She squeezed my hand. “Whatever you choose, I’m here for you.”

  I returned the squeeze, wondering what I would ever do without her. “Thank you.”

  * * *

  I tossed and turned in my bed but couldn’t shake a pair of blue eyes and a crooked smile from my mind. His face seemed to haunt my every moment of sleep. With a frustrated moan, I rose from my bed and went to my window, looking out at the night sky.

  Why do I feel this way?

  Catra’s words echoed through my head: maybe it’s love.

  I let out a cold laugh. How could anyone fall in love in a week’s time? The only love I’d ever felt had spanned years. And is now over, I reminded myself. It will never be. Why am I holding on so tightly?

  Tears pricked my eyes as I thought about what else Catra had said: maybe it’s time you moved on. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps I was being stubborn, desperate to cling to the past, to a memory. What good was a memory when I had a chance at true companionship? At a future with someone who made my heart feel alive?

  Do I dare move on? Do I dare love again?

  Frederick’s face invaded my mind once more, and I let my imagination wander, wondering what his kisses would feel like on somewhere other than my hand, how his strong arms would feel around my body. I was breathless as I imagined his lips brushing my neck, his hands pressing into my back. That could be mine. He could be mine. All I had to do was say yes.

  Is that what I wanted?

  “Yes,” I said out loud, followed by a burst of laughter. I put my hand to my lips to stifle the anxious giggles that bubbled in my throat. “I want him.”

  I closed my eyes and thought of his mischievous grin, his gentle touch, and the way creases formed around his eyes when he laughed. My entire body filled with a warmth I hadn’t felt in years. “I think I…love him.”

  My head began to spin as dizzying thoughts and questions flooded my mind. Do I go to him? Tell him now? I paced in front of my window. What is wrong with me? It’s too late to go to him now. Besides, I can’t seem desperate. I’ll go to him tomorrow, like we agreed.

  I faced my bed but couldn’t imagine sleeping after coming to such a surprising conclusion. There was nothing I wanted more than to talk about Frederick all night, to feel his name rolling off my tongue over and over. I looked at the tapestry that hid the door to the servants’ hall. With light feet, I all but skipped to the door, flinging it open, and made my way down the dim, candle-lit hall to Catra’s room.

  I came to her door and reached for the handle, but before I could open it, it moved. I paused, and the door opened, revealing two shadowed figures, lips locked in kisses and breathless whispers. I remained frozen, wondering if I’d somehow come to the wrong room, but Catra’s auburn hair caught candlelight, and I knew it was her. As for her lover—his back was turned to me, his face hidden from view.

  “Goodnight,” Catra whispered, stealing one last kiss.

  Her lover pulled away and turned toward me. In the same moment, Catra’s eyes found mine, and she jumped. I looked from her to Frederick, my words stuck in my aching throat. Frederick froze as he stared back at me. After a moment of tense silence, his expression softened. “Princess Mareleau.” He gave me a bow and a casual smile as if I hadn’t just caught him kissing my chambermaid, and then made his way swiftly down the hall.

  My eyes burned into Catra. She trembled as she pulled her open nightdress to cover her bare chest, but there was no shame on her face. “Mare, what are you doing here?”

  Rage flooded me from head to toe, making my hands curl into fists. Tears threatened to spill, but I held them back, letting burning malice take their place. “What were you doing with him?” I hissed through my teeth.

  She looked at her feet. “What do you think?”

  I strode toward her, and she leapt back. “How dare you!”

  “I’m sorry, Mare,” she said, although her tone was empty of remorse. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never mean
t for you to find out.”

  “You were going to hide this from me?”

  “It’s not like it meant anything.”

  “How did it not mean anything? You took him to your bed, knowing I liked him!” My stomach roiled as I recalled the reason I’d come to her in the first place. How could I be so stupid? How could I have actually thought I loved him?

  “It didn’t mean anything to him. He still wants to marry you.”

  “That doesn’t make it any better. I’d never marry a man like that. He’s a liar, just like all the rest.”

  “He never lied to you. Did you really think he would court a woman like you and not find pleasure elsewhere?”

  “What do you mean a woman like me?”

  Her eyes went steely. “A woman with a heart of ice. A stubborn woman who doesn’t appreciate her position, her opportunities, her blessings. I would die to be in a position like you, to have a man like him want to marry me.”

  “Instead you’ll take a man like that to your bed?”

  “Don’t you dare judge me!”

  “You were supposed to be my friend.”

  Her face fell, her lower lip trembling as tears glazed her eyes. “I still am.”

  “How can you say that after what you did?”

  “What I did had nothing to do with you. I was offered a moment of happiness, a moment where I could forget who I am and everything I’ll never be, and I took it. It doesn’t change anything between you and me. It was only a week’s dalliance. Once he leaves, I’ll never see him again. When the two of you marry, I promise not to get in the way.”

  I ground my teeth. “A week’s dalliance? You’ve been seeing him all week?”

  Catra threw her head back with a groan. “You act as if you know nothing of the real world, and perhaps you don’t. Do you think all young princes are pure? That they are just waiting for their one true love to accept them before they find joy?”

  “I don’t expect much from young princes, and I was a fool to feel anything for Frederick. But you,” I burned her with a venomous stare, “I expected more from you.”

  Her eyes fell back to her feet. “I’m sorry, Mare. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

  “If friends are like you, then I’ll be happy if I never make another friend again. In fact, I don’t even want you as a chambermaid, a servant, or a fool. I want you out of Verlot forever.”

  Her eyes went wide. “You’re dismissing me? You aren’t going to tell anyone about what I’ve done, are you?” I kept silent. Her face crumbled, showing the first sign of regret. “Please, Mare! If anyone finds out, I’ll be ruined!”

  “I don’t care if you’re ruined.” I turned my back on her cries and made my way to my room. With an icy calm, I went to my vanity, grabbed one of my most cherished necklaces, and returned to the servants’ hall. Catra was sobbing on the floor of her room when I pushed open her door.

  “Mare, please,” she begged when I strode up to her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  I ignored her and pushed the necklace into her palm, then pulled her to standing.

  “What is this for?” she mumbled through her tears as I pulled her out the main door to the palace.

  We stepped into the quiet, empty hall. “Guards!” I shouted.

  Catra’s eyes flashed from me to the end of the hall where footsteps sounded.

  As the guards rounded the corner, I pushed her forward. “I found my chambermaid with one my necklaces. Get rid of this thief.”

  “No! I didn’t…”

  I narrowed my eyes. “What really happened, then? Are you a thief or a whore?” Her mouth fell open, but no words came out.

  “What do you want us to do with her?” asked one of the guards.

  Chain her up. Beat her. Behead her. Violent scenarios ran through my head, but when I looked at the terror in Catra’s eyes, my mind went blank. I took a deep breath. “Ten lashes, then send this thief back to her family. I don’t want to see her face in this palace ever again.”

  * * *

  I knew my eyes were rimmed with red as I walked through the halls of the palace, but I didn’t care. I’d hardly been able to sleep the night before, but I kept my head high, my steps slow and even; I would do anything to maintain my composure, to keep Frederick from knowing how badly he’d hurt me.

  As I entered the garden, I found the prince facing away from me. Hearing my footsteps, he whirled around, and a smile broke over his face. I kept my breathing steady as my heart raced in response to his expression. He walked toward me and handed me a rose.

  I stared at it but made to move to accept. “You know, it’s rude to offer a woman a flower from her own garden.”

  His smile faltered as he tucked the rose into his tunic. “I hope I didn’t upset you last night. That wasn’t something a woman should see.”

  “No, it wasn’t a pleasant sight for any woman, much less one’s betrothed.” I stepped past him and began to walk down the garden path.

  He followed in my wake. “I apologize, and promise I’ll be much more discreet when we’re married.”

  My eyes bulged as I faced him. “You’ll be more discreet when we’re married? What gives you the idea I’d ever consider marrying you?”

  He pulled away at the sight of my rage. “I thought we understood each other.”

  “You don’t understand me at all. You know nothing about me.”

  “I know if you deny me, you’ll be forced into a marriage sooner rather than later. Your father said so last night.”

  I shot him a seething glare to cover my surprise. “I’d prefer a marriage to anyone but you.”

  His smirk returned to his face. “You don’t mean that. After all the stories you told me about your other engagements—”

  “I’d gladly let Prince Augustine grope me every day for the rest of my life than be shackled to a man like you.”

  He let out a bitter laugh. “You can’t be serious. Are you upset because I dallied with your chambermaid? I thought you were more mature than this. I thought you weren’t like those simpering princesses.”

  A vicious grin tugged my lips. “I’m not. I’m far, far worse.”

  He took a hesitant step back. “I still think we can work this out. We need each other. If you’d prefer I stay true to you—”

  “End it. End our engagement now.”

  He shrugged. “I can’t. It would be a terrible offense to break an alliance with your kingdom.”

  “I don’t care. End it. You’ve ended plenty of proposed alliances, and I’ve had five of my own severed without issue.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “I don’t want to end it. I want us to come to terms we can both agree on. I meant it when I told you I wanted you. I’ll do what I can to make you happy.”

  His words did nothing to cool my anger and only added kindling to my fire. Still, it seemed I wasn’t getting any closer to swaying him to end our engagement, and he had far more power to do so than I did. I’ll have to convince him. Just like all the rest.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My shoulders hunched forward, and I let my posture grow slack, breasts sagging, limbs hanging low. As I opened my eyes, I let my features fall, let my lips twist into a grimace as my eyes narrowed with fury. Hideous. Hideous. I repeated the words in my head over and over, as if by some magic, they could make me so. From the shocked look on Frederick’s face, hideous was exactly what he saw.

  Mother always told me beauty had been my birthright, and it seemed she’d been right. Men flocked to me, praised me, and courted me without any encouragement on my part. Repelling them, on the other hand, had become a talent—one I’d become increasingly adept at.

  I took a step toward Frederick, lips pulling away from my teeth. “End our engagement, or I will marry you. I will become your wife and a thorn in your side. I will find a new way every day to make your life more miserable than you could ever imagine.”

  He paled, lips pulling into a sneer. “What’s wrong
with you?”

  “Marry me, and you can find out.”

  His eyes slowly slid away from mine. “You’re making a mistake. I may be your last chance at a reasonable match.”

  “So be it.”

  Frederick threw his hands in the air and stalked away from me. Once I could no longer hear his footsteps, I loosened my hold over my expression, and my face returned to neutral. I lifted my shoulders and chest, ignoring the trembling of my arms and the sob that threatened to tear open my throat.

  I won’t cry, I promised myself and felt the pools in my eyes begin to dry. Never again will I cry over a man. Never again will I fall for false love.

  I’ve loved once. Let that be enough.

  * * *

  I was prepared for my mother’s anger as she barged into my room. “How could this happen, Mareleau? Yet another broken engagement!”

  Instead of the nonchalant response I usually offered, I screwed my face into a mask of sorrow and let my words come out with a childlike whimper. “I know, Mother. I’m so upset. I thought he really like me!”

  Mother looked taken aback as she frowned, hand covering her heart. “Are you being serious, my dear?”

  I nodded through fake tears. “I did my best to woo him. I really did, Mother! Why would he hurt me like this?”

  She ran to me and wrapped me in her arms while I pretended to sob on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, my sweetheart. I’ve never seen you in such a state before.”

  “I’ve never felt this way. I finally had feelings for someone, found someone I cared for. And he…broke my heart!”

  Mother ran her hand over my back, shushing me. “We’ll find someone better, I promise.”

  I pulled away, my eyes wide with mock-terror. “Please, don’t make me go through that again. I don’t know if I can bear this pain one more time.”

  “You know you must marry, darling.”

  I put my face in my hands. “I can’t do this anymore. My heart is too fragile to be toyed with so many times. I try not to break after each rejection, but it’s killing me inside.”

  “What can we do, my sweet? How can we make this better? How can we find a match for you without subjecting you to such pain?”