by Lisa Sommers
I pick up my purse and move closer to the window. As crowded as the airport is, I feel like the only person around. I can’t stop thinking about this baby. How could I not?
I stretch my legs out in front of me and lay the palm of my hand on my belly.
“I don’t know about you little guy, but I sure did goof up this time, didn’t I? Don’t worry though. I’ll figure things out before you come along. Who’s knows, maybe we’ll move back to Atlanta . . . or San Diego.” I look around the room and see couples with babies everywhere. I wonder what it would be like to have someone by my side. Everything just seems so different now. I never imagined having children and now that I am having one of my own . . . I don’t know. I know it seems silly to say I already have a motherly instinct but what else can describe the way I’m feeling.
I will do anything for this baby. Whatever it takes. If I have to do it on my own, then so be it.
I know in my heart that I already developed feelings for Cal even before finding out about this baby, but I know for a fact he is not capable of returning such feelings.
“Flight 232 will begin boarding.” The flight attendant announces.
Taking a deep breath, I make one last prayer that I am doing the right thing. I may be an adult but my parents are going to kill me.
“Oh, honey, it’s nice to see you. We’ve missed you so much.” My mom is such a doter. I wonder if I will be like her with my own child.
“I’ve missed you too, mom.” I give her a big squeeze as my dad takes a hold of my suitcase.
“Are you moving back home?” He asks as he lugs my two large bags.
“No, daddy. I just want to stay a couple weeks and wasn’t sure what to pack. That’s all.” I would never blatantly lie to my father, but it’s true. I just need a couple of weeks to figure out what I am going to do.
“No worries, sweetie. You are always welcome here. You know that.”
“Thank you, daddy.” I wrap my arm around him as we walk to his vehicle. I really do have the best parents. I just have one major obstacle.
Daddy is a Pastor. This really isn’t going to go over well.
Chapter 15
Cal
I’ve been knocking for five minutes with no answer. I know she’s here. Her car is right out front. Calling her phone will do no good. It’s clear she’s avoiding me. There’s no one I can call either. I just need to wait until everyone returns from Vegas.
Last night was one of the most confusing nights I’ve had in a long time. I still don’t understand what I’m feeling towards Summer.
Of all the women in the world and out of all the women I have been with, I fall for the one I can’t have. Ugh! I still have not heard back from Summer. Where is she and why did she leave so suddenly?
The guys return shortly and I plan to be at Derek’s house when they arrive. Hell, maybe I’ll just pick them up from the airport myself. I need to find out where Summer is and my only chance is to get the info from one of them.
I make myself a cup of coffee, then head out back to sit on the deck. The sound of the ocean always calms me. I reach for my phone and pull up my messages. Maybe I’ll send her a text.
“Why haven’t you called me back?”
I hold my phone in front of me and stare at the message I just sent Summer. All of a sudden, I see the icon move down to the message I sent.
She read it.
I wait and wait and wait, but nothing.
She doesn’t respond.
“Why are you avoiding me?” I try again.
Once again her icon moves down to my message. She’s reading them.
“I’m sorry. I’m being rude. Please just tell me where you are. I need to see you.”
I watch as she reads my message and all of a sudden three dots begin to move at the bottom of the screen. She’s writing me back!
I wait a minute longer but nothing comes through. The dots seem to have stopped. What is going on with her?
“Please.” I beg.
I watch intently but her icon doesn’t move down to my message. She gave up. Maybe I should to.
I finish my coffee and go to grab another when I hear my phone beep. I have a message.
“Thanks for offering to pick us up. We just landed so just give us thirty minutes to grab our bags and we’ll meet you out front.” Shane responds to a text I sent earlier this morning.
Well, it’s not the text I was hoping to receive but it’s better than nothing. One of them has to know where Summer is.
“Thanks for coming to get us, Cal.” Sonny links her arm in mine and I swear I see Rob throw me a death glare. Great, that’s all I need. Someone else to hate me.
I slowly ease Sonny off of me. I can’t afford to go down that road. “You’re welcome.” I just need to find Summer. “So, uh, where are we headed?”
“Just take us to my place.” Derek abruptly replies.
Derek is still clearly pissed at me for what I accidently said in Vegas. “You got it.”
We arrive at Derek and Chelsea’s home and Summer is still nowhere to be found.
“Where is she?” His mood still has not calmed down.
“Babe, here’s a note,” Chelsea hands her new husband a piece of paper that was sitting on the kitchen counter. “What does it say?”
“What the fuck?” Oh shit, this isn’t good.
I step a little a closer to try and find out what the letter says. It has to be from Summer.
“This is all your doing, isn’t it?” There’s that death glare again.
“What? What are you talking about? What’s it say?” I have to know.
Derek analyzes my every move before answering. “She left,” She left? Where the fuck did she go?
“Why would she go back home? Today?”
“What? That can’t be right,” Sonny rips the note out of her brother’s hand. “She never said anything about going home. Why would she go . . .” Why did she stop talking?
“Sonny. . .” Derek warns.
She looks around the room. “What? I don’t know why she left. I just said she never spoke about going back home.”
He narrows his eyes at Sonny. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing,” she can’t lie to save her life. “It’s just. . .”
“It’s just, what?” I jump in.
“Stay the fuck out of this.” This asshole is getting on my last nerve.
“It’s just, she hasn’t been herself lately. She probably just wants some space is all.” Alli links arms with Sonny as if comforting her. No clue what she needs comforting for though.
“Well, when do you think she’ll be back?” I wait for a negative comment to come my way from Derek, but it never does.
“I don’t know. I’ll call her this evening.”
Damn it! I really need to see her. I’d fly out in a heartbeat but we have a game this weekend and then we are off to the World Series.
I need to get out of here. “I have to leave,” I turn and make my way to the front door. “Oh and by the way, Ray, Clint and Jeff will be at all the practices this week. I’ll be out tomorrow.” I shut the door behind me without giving Shane, Derek or Rob a chance to answer. I need to call Summer.
Sitting on my back deck watching the sun set and drinking a glass of single malt scotch, I wait for Summer to return a text. Not that she has returned any of them but I will give her one more chance.
I pick up my phone and send one last text.
“First of all, it was good while it lasted. Second, if you don’t return my call or text then I am coming out to see you.”
“There, I did it.” I set my phone back down on the table and down the remnants of my drink. I can’t believe I am spending my time pining after some chick that doesn’t even want anything to do with me.
I know I’ve had my fair share of women, but I guess I can’t live the rest of my life playing the field. So to speak. I guess I kinda want what the other guys have. I want someone to wake up to. I want someone
to take with me when the team travels. I want someone to call mine.
I want Summer.
It still blows me away that I am actually considering settling down with one chick. “Fuck,” why did she leave town and why is she fighting what I know is happening between us? “Call me, damn it!”
I reach for my phone and immediately notice the three dots trickling back and forth below my last message I sent to Summer. “Come on, baby, answer me back.”
Here it comes, “Cal, why are you pushing this? I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want only me. I’m sorry if I’ve led you on.”
Lead me on? What is she talking about? Trust me, baby, it shocks even me when I think about this past month. I shake my head in surprise. Have I not really been with anyone else besides Summer since we first hooked up?
“Can I call you?”
Her reply is instant. “No.”
“Why?”
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“Trust me, I can’t do this anymore either.”
Once again, the three dots trickle back and forth but nothing comes. I look back at my last text and realize it didn’t read the way I meant it to.
“Please disregard my last text. That didn’t come out right. Please just call me.” I beg.
I am waiting with baited breath as her text never comes. “Shit.”
I am getting ready to toss my phone into the ocean when it rings.
I pick up immediately. “Summer,” she doesn’t answer but I know it’s her. “Summer, please,” I just need to hear her voice. “Say something.”
I can hear her breathing through the phone so I know she’s there.
“Ok, I’ll talk then. Listen, I know this is coming right out of left field and you probably won’t believe me, but I haven’t been with anyone else since you.”
“Liar.” She responds.
“I’m not lying. I have not been with any other women since you and I first hooked up.”
“You’re lying. I saw you.”
She saw me? “No, I’m being honest here. I haven’t . . .”
“It doesn’t matter anyway, Cal. It’s not like you and I are even exclusive. . .”
“I want to be. . .”
“No!” She yells into the receiver. Someone remind me why I want to settle down again.
“Baby . . .”
“Don’t you say that!” Oh shit, she’s pissed.
“Summer, please. I’m trying here. Can I just come to see you, please?” I’ve never begged a woman for anything in my entire life yet here I find myself practically down on my knees wanting this girl to believe me.
“Cal, just drop it.”
“No, I’m not dropping it.”
Silence. I hear nothing but silence. She hung up on me. “Damn it!” What is wrong with me? Why do I keep beating my head against a wall? Is this what it’s like to fall in love with a woman? “Fuck me.” How the hell did this happen?
I have an idea?
I run into the house and call her back from the house phone. She won’t recognize that phone number.
“Hello?” Yes, she answered.
I disguise my voice, “Yes ma’am, may I please speak with Summer Huntington?” Please don’t hang up on me.
“This is Summer.”
“Umm, yes, ma’am, it appears there was a mix up with your suitcase that was being searched at the airport and one of our employees neglected to return some of your items to your suitcase.”
“Oh no,” she bought my lie.
“No worries, ma’am. We just need your address and we’ll be sure to return everything to you.” Oh God, please tell me your address.
“Oh sure. It’s 10 Smithsdale Drive, Atlanta.” Thank you.
“Thank you, ma’am. We’ll get it out to you first thing in the morning.”
“Thank you so much.”
“No, thank you.” I end the call.
Now to call the airline to book the next flight available to Atlanta.
Chapter 16
Summer
I can’t believe Cal expected me to believe that he hasn’t been with anyone else since me. I saw Kelly go into his hotel room. Which, by the way, I still need to discuss that with her.
Just hearing his voice on the phone last night made me miss him. Of all the people to miss in the world, why does it have to be him? And now. . . I’m having his baby.
This is so hopeless.
It’s time I have a conversation with my parents. I have no idea how they are going to take the news but I do know that this will not go away.
I make my way downstairs and find my mom in the kitchen baking cookies. “Hi momma,” I walk up behind her. “Can I help you?”
She turns around and I notice she is wearing one of the many colorful aprons she owns and it has a quote on it that says, “You are loved more than you will ever know.” The verse is from Romans 5 : 8.
I sure hope that it’s true because I will need every bit of love I can get.
“Sure, honey, let me grab you an apron.” She runs her hands up and down the front of her own apron. “We don’t want you to get your pretty sweater full of flour.” She reaches into a drawer and pulls out an apron, holds it in front of her and reads it. “Above all things, have intense and unfailing love for one another for love covers a multitude of sins.” The verse is from Peter 4 : 8.
Oh God, help me now for I have sinned beyond my parent’s wildest dreams.
“Momma, where’s daddy?” I ask as she ties the back of my apron behind my back.
“He’s at work, honey. The church is preparing a rummage sale they have coming up.”
“Oh, okay,” Maybe it’s better that I break the news to mom first, anyway. Since daddy became a Pastor about ten years ago, we have been fully involved in the church and my sister and I just needed a little break from it.
“Is everything ok, honey?” She offers me a worried look.
“Yeah, sort of. I mean . . . I do need to talk to the both of you about something though.”
“Well, hold on, let me call your father.” She immediately reaches for the phone on the wall.
“No, momma. If it’s ok with you, I’d like to talk to you first.”
“Sure, honey. Why don’t we talk while finishing up these cookies? I need to have these for the woman’s group tonight.”
“Ok.” I reach for a bowl full of dough and begin to form small round balls before rolling them into another bowl of sugar.
“So, spill it. What’s on your mind?” She’s never been one to beat around the bush.
“Well, momma . . .” Dang, this is harder than I thought it would be. “I sort of met this boy when I was staying with Derek.”
She looks up at me through her long eyelashes. “Did you tell him about Bobby?”
“Momma, Bobby and I were never officially an item and you know that.” I can’t believe my parents actually tried to set me up on a date with full expectations of me marrying him.
“I know, honey, but he was a nice boy and he is even head of the choir at your Dad’s church now.”
I sigh, “That’s great, momma, but he and I would never have worked.” This conversation is not heading in the direction I had hoped.
“Like I said, I met this boy in San Diego, momma and I sort of have feelings for him . . .”
“What church does he belong to?” she asks.
Oh boy, “He doesn’t belong to one, momma.” She gasps for air and puts a hand to her chest. “Momma, not everyone that doesn’t belong to a church goes to hell.”
If my mom could ever bring herself to commit a sin, then I think she would kill me right now.
“Momma, have a seat,” my news is going to give her a heart attack. “I need to tell you something but I need for you to trust me, okay? I need for you to believe that I am capable of being an adult. I just need . . . I just need for you to love me. No matter what. I just need for you . . .” By this point, I am in full tears. “I just need for you listen to me and trust in
me.”
“Honey, you’re scaring me. Did this boy hurt you? Did you tell your brother? We trusted him to keep an eye on you girls.”
“Momma, this is not Derek’s fault.” I don’t even know how I am going to break the news to him. “I’m pregnant.” There. I said it. I didn’t mean to blurt it out but now that I did, it feels like a small weight lifted off my shoulders.
She grips the edge of the table. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly.”
She knows full well what I said. “Momma, I’m pregnant.”
“But how? You aren’t even married!” Tears begin to stream down her own cheeks and it nearly breaks my heart. Hurting her is the last thing I ever wanted to do. “You’re a baby yourself. How could this happen?”
“I’m sorry. Please believe me when I tell you this was not planned.” I cry.
“Oh my dear God, did he force himself on you?”
“Oh God, no!” I reach out and wrap my arms tightly around her.
“Then how? Did he pressure you . . .”
“Momma no,” If she only knew. “God, please strike me with lightning right now.” I pray.
“Honey, please don’t say that.” She cries as if lightning is going to hit me at this very moment.
“Please listen to me. I am not a child anymore and I know what I did is not how you and daddy raised me but it happened and I just need for you to love me anyway.” I am on my knees on the kitchen floor begging my mom and praying to God that we will get through this.
“Baby, I love you. You know I love you, but . . .”
“I know, I messed up. Trust me, I get it.” More than she knows. “But the fact is that I am having this baby and I want you and daddy to be a part of his or her life.”
“Oh honey, I need to talk to your dad.”
I nod my head and beg her for forgiveness. “I know. I will talk to him tonight.”
“No. Please let me ease him into this.” My momma wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me in for a tight squeeze. “He still thinks of you as his little girl. I will talk to him first.”
Just as I am about to object, the front door bell rings.