by Lisa Sommers
“Oh dear, I don’t think I can talk to anyone at the moment.”
“Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll answer it.” I stand up and pat my cheeks with the edge of my apron. “We’ll continue talking after I see who is at the door.” I take the apron off and set it on the table.
I stand before the door and swipe my hands down the front of my clothes trying to make myself presentable. It must be the airline people with my things.
I swing the door open and am about to greet, who I think is an employee from the airport when I see Cal standing there.
“Cal? What are you doing here? How did you get my address?” I never gave it to him and I know for a fact my brother nor sister would ever give it to him.
“You should never give your address to anyone over the phone again. Not even when they say they are from an airline.”
I gasp at his comment. “Are you kidding me?”
“No, I told you I wanted to see you and you gave me no option.”
“You lied to me.”
“Can we just talk, please?”
I step outside and close the door. I don’t want my mom to hear any of this conversation. “Why did you come here?” My sister better not have said anything.
“Trust me, baby . . .”
“I said, don’t call me that.”
He shakes his head in exasperation. “Fine. I’m sorry.” He reaches out for my hand and on instinct, I accept it. “Can we just go for a drive? Or even a walk? I just want to talk to you.”
“Cal,”
“Please,” He truly does have the sweetest face ever.
“Fine. Hold on.” I turn for the door and he begins to follow me. “No, wait here. Let me just tell my mom I’ll be back.”
“Ok.”
Once inside the door, I grab a hold of my belly. I know it’s too early to feel the movement of the baby so the butterflies in my stomach must be from seeing Cal.
I make my way into the kitchen and see my mom still sitting on a stool. Her tears have dried up but I can tell she is still very upset.
“Mom, I’m sorry that you are not happy with me.” I kneel down to her level so that we are eye to eye. “I love you and it hurts me to know that I have caused you this pain. Maybe if I give you a few minutes to think about everything we can talk in a bit.” I have no intention of telling her that Cal is at the front door. “I am just going to go for a drive and will be back shortly, ok?”
She nods her head, “Ok, honey.”
I love my mom to pieces so I hope that she can see the light and come to forgive me.
Chapter 17
Cal
I honestly didn’t think she’d come back to the door after she went inside. But, here she is standing right before me and all I can do is stare at her. She is so beautiful. Something tells me that I am going to love this woman for the rest of my life. I can’t take my eyes off of her.
“Thank you,” I tell her.
“For what?” The sound of her voice is barely above a whisper and all I want to do is have my way with her. I’m an ass, I know.
“For agreeing to talk to me.”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t give me much of a choice, now did you?” She’s definitely angry with me.
“Come on.” I take her hand and pull her to me. “I want to take you somewhere.” I nuzzle my face in the crook of her neck. She feels so damn good.
“Cal, I’m on my parent’s porch!”
“Oh yeah, I’m sorry.” I’m really not. “Let’s go for a ride. We need to talk.”
“Yeah, we do.” Sweet, I knew she was on the same wavelength as me.
I open her door for her to get in.
“A Ferrari?” I offer her a big smile and shut her door.
We have been driving for the past ten minutes and I have no clue where I am.
“Where are you taking me?” She asks.
I make a left at the stop sign and then an immediate right at the light. “I really have no idea.” She looks at me and we both start to laugh.
“Cal . . .”
I cut her off because I really don’t think that I’d be able to listen to her tell me to get lost. “Summer, I like being with you.”
She lowers her head and looks at her hands folded in her lap. I reach out and put my right hand on her knee.
“Is there a place I can stop this car and we can talk?” I need to feel her in my arms. Hell, I need to feel her underneath me.
“Yeah, another block down is a park. We can go there.”
I step on the gas because I cannot wait to hold her.
“Slow down. This is a residential neighborhood.” She tells me.
I pull up to an empty parking lot and pull into the first spot I see. “Walk with me.”
“Yeah, we really need to talk.” She agrees and it literally puts me on cloud nine. Jumping out of the red sports car, I run to her door and open it before she has a chance to do it on her own. “Thank you.”
“Sure, baby.” She looks at me with that same look her brother gave me yesterday at his home. Holding my hands in the air, I apologize. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” The hell it won’t. I plan on calling her that for a long time to come.
“Come here,” I really had planned on talking to her first but just the sight of her draws me in. “I need to feel you.” Summer sinks right into my chest and wraps her arms right around my waist. I tuck her in close and run my hands up the back of her blouse. “We need to talk.” I whisper in her ear.
“Well, maybe if you loosen up your grip then we’d be able to have a discussion.”
I reluctantly pull back. “I suppose.” I look around the park for some sort of shelter. I need to feel her closer to me. I need to be inside of her. Soon.
Summer releases her arms and grabs my hand. She tugs me towards a path and we begin to walk. Hand in hand.
We walk in comfortable silence for a few minutes when she finally says, “Cal, why did you come here?” Am I not making myself clear why I’m here? And they say men are hard to read?
“I told you,” I hang my head low because other than ten minutes ago I’ve never told a woman I like being with her. Well maybe in the heat of passion but other than that, no. “I like being with you.”
“You do know that my brother would kill you if he ever found out that we were together, right?”
I nod my head. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.” I really do know that but I can’t stop what I’m feeling either.
“And you do know that I hate you, right?” She says it with a smile so I know she is not telling me the truth.
“You don’t hate me.” I smile back at her.
“I saw you.” Now I’m confused.
“You saw me where?”
“You and Kelly.” Nothing happened between me and Kelly.
“I don’t understand.”
“I was in my hotel room when I heard a noise in the hallway so I looked through the peep hole.” I look down at her and see a tear fall from her cheek.
“Nothing happened.” I assure her.
“Do you expect me to believe that? I know you, Cal. I know your reputation. More importantly, I know how you are. Don’t forget, you and I have been there a time or two.”
Shit, it never once crossed my mind that she would have seen that. “I promise nothing happened.” I reassure her.
“I wish I could believe you. Trust me, I do, but I also know my friend.” I can’t believe I am having this conversation.
I stop in my tracks and face her. “I swear on my life that I never slept with her.” All she does is nod her head and purse her lips. “I need for you to believe me, Summer.”
“Why?” She questions me.
There is so much I want to say to her, but I can’t. I want to tell her that when I go to bed, not one other female is on my mind but her. I wake up every morning with her fresh on my mind from my dreams. I want to say that I start the day looking forward to the next chance I get to see her. I want to say . . . because I love you. But, I can
’t say any of that.
How do I go from convincing a girl that I didn’t sleep with her best friend to telling her I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her?
“I just do, ok?” Yeah, that was a lame comeback.
“It’s not ok,” where is she going with this? “Cal, I can’t do this anymore,” She looks down at her stomach. “I have more important things going on right now, okay?”
No, it’s not okay. “More important than this?” I wave my hand back and forth between us.
She looks up at me and shakes her head. “Yeah. More important than this.”
How can she say that? Now I know why I never cared to have these kinds of feelings before. “Come here,” I reach out and she easily takes my hand. As I pull her in for a tight squeeze, I realize that this is it. I can physically feel her body saying that whatever this has been between us is over. I pull back slightly and lightly tug her chin so that she has to look up at me. Even in her sad state, she is the most beautiful thing that has ever walked the face of the earth. “Kiss me,” I don’t want to hear no for an answer.
Summer briefly hesitates before she leans into me, lifts up on her toes and lays her lips over mine. Her passion doesn’t seem to waive an ounce and I fully accept anything that she is willing to give me. “Cal . . .”
“Baby please, not yet.” I don’t want to say goodbye.
Summer pulls away but doesn’t release my hand. Her gaze has me in a trance and at this particular moment there isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for her. “Follow me,” she takes a few steps away from me as she tugs me with her. “There’s an old abandoned garden house just at the other end of the park.”
I stop in my tracks and wait until she turns around to face me. My old self would have no problem following through with what is about to happen between us. Trust me, there is nothing I want more than to take her at this very moment and claim her as mine. However, knowing that this will be the last time I will ever be able to touch her changes my mind. “I can’t.”
A single tear slips down her cheek and breaks my heart. “Please,” she whimpers.
I reach up and brush the back of my fingers against her cheek to wipe away the tear. Summer never has to beg me for anything. Fuck it! I grab her hand and lead her in the direction of the other end of the park.
The walk to the garden house may not have been very far but it seemed to take forever. I lead her in through an unlocked side door and immediately spin her around so that we stand face to face with one another. Summer places her hands on either side of my face and pulls me down to her. She takes full control and I let her.
This isn’t about me anymore.
It’s all about her.
If this is all she can give me then I will not put up a fight.
She slides her hands underneath my shirt and her cool palms feel their way up my chest.
I love the feel of her touching me.
Summer lifts my shirt up over my head and drops it to the ground. She focuses intently on my chest and runs her index finger along the tattoo on the upper left side of my torso. My eyes trace every move she makes. I could watch her do this forever.
Summer begins to trail light kisses on my chest and it’s almost too much to handle. I will give her another minute before I take over.
“Summer,” ok, I warn her. I tend to enjoy watching her have her way with me. “You’re killin’ me here.”
My comment brings a chuckle out of her. “I’m sorry.”
I grab her cheeks and tell her, “Baby, don’t ever be sorry. For anything.”
She lowers her hands and begins to undo the button on my jeans. My heart is racing out of control. I need her right now.
I push her up against the wall until her back is flush against it. My actions make her gasp. She has a wildfire burning in her eyes that parallels my own.
I rip her shirt open so that I can feel her skin. Snaking my arm around her waist, I lift her up so that she has to wrap her legs around my waist. Her skirt hikes up and it’s at this point when I realize she is not wearing any panties.
“Baby,” I breathe against her neck. “Had I known . . .”
Summer stops me from talking by placing two fingers over my mouth. “Shhh,” she hushes me as she positions herself over my cock and easily slides right onto me.
I growl her name and move her slightly so that her back doesn’t get ripped up by the rough wall. It’s taking everything in me not to throw her onto the large wooden table and have my way with her, but I have a feeling that this is Summer saying goodbye to me. I want to savor every bit of her. She can go as slow or as fast as she wants just as long as she understands that I will do whatever it takes to please her.
Summer grips my biceps and begins to move herself up and down. Her actions are pushing me over the edge. “You feel so good,” I want to say more but I’m afraid she’ll bolt the minute I mention anything remotely about us.
She buries her face in my chest and releases a moan that finally pushes me over the edge. I grip her waist and slam her onto me several times before we soar our way to the stars.
Summer bites my shoulder to keep herself from screaming. “Baby, let it go,” I tell her. “Let it go.” I wrap my arms tightly around her so not to let her go. I’m still not ready for her to walk out of my life.
Suddenly, she loosens her grip on me and tries to slide down the front of my body. I allow her to this time. Maybe this serves me right. Maybe I’ve been a complete jackass my entire life that this is karma paying me back. Maybe I don’t deserve happiness.
Maybe I don’t deserve her.
I watch as Summer fixes her skirt and straightens out her blouse. I watch as she prepares herself to walk out of my life for good. “Cal, I think you should take me back to my home.” Her home? Is she never coming back to San Diego?
“Why are you doing this?” I ask.
“Doing what?” How does she not see how much I care for her?
“Are you moving back to Atlanta?” Please tell me no.
“I just need some time back home for a little while.”
I nod my head. It’s all I can really do. It’s not like we’re dating or anything. I have no right to tell her otherwise. I shake my head in complete confusion. How the fuck did I fall in love with a woman that I am not even dating? Is that even humanly possible? What is wrong with me?
“Can we go now?” She whispers.
I reach for her hand. “Yeah, come on.” We make our way back to my rental car and Summer laughs and shakes her head as she slides into the passenger seat.
“Is it a little too flashy?” I’ve always wanted a red Ferrari. “I should get me one,” I say as I walk around the car and take a seat behind the steering wheel. “Maybe when I get back to San Diego. It’s just me anyway. It’s not like I will ever need a car seat or anything,” I explain as I look over my shoulder at the nonexistent backseat. “Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to fit anything back there.”
I put the car in reverse and notice Summer staring at her lap. I watch as a lone tear rolls off her cheek and lands on her skirt.
She seems to be in her own little bubble at the moment so I let her be. Who knows. Maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll eventually miss me. Maybe not but I can dream.
The ride to her parent’s house is quiet and when I pull up to the curb I am torn between getting out of the car and walking her to the front door or locking the doors and stepping on the gas. It is painful knowing that I will probably never see her again.
I suck my pride in and decide to get out of the car and open her door for her. She doesn’t say a word when she steps out of the car and stands before me. She runs her hand down my arm and gives me a slight smile.
“Goodbye, Cal,” and there it is. The only two words that sealed the deal and made my heart crack just a little bit more.
“Goodbye,” I regretfully say. “Goodbye.”
Chapter 18
Summer
I can’t believe I just let
myself be taken by Cal . . . again. Well, I guess I did the taking, but still. What was I thinking?
He seemed to be sincere in his actions with me today, but how can I ever trust him?
I knew I felt something for Cal a few weeks ago, but I didn’t realize until today just how much I have fallen for him.
I fully intended to say something about the baby but I still need more time to figure things out. Do I move back to Atlanta permanently? Do I stay in San Diego where the father of my child lives? I wish I knew the answers.
I guess my first step should be to make a doctor’s appointment. God, I’m sure the local doctor attends my father’s church. Maybe I should move back to San Diego. I don’t want my parents ashamed of me or my baby.
“Honey, would you like a couple cookies with a glass of milk?” My mom is sweet. I can see the hurt in her eyes and it pains me to know I put that pain there.
“Sure, mom,” I follow my mom from the living room to the kitchen where she already has several cookies on a plate. I take a seat at the kitchen table while my mom pours me a tall glass of milk. “Thank you, momma.”
My mom doesn’t say anything as she walks around the table and takes a seat across from me. She fiddles with a napkin looking like she has plenty on her mind to speak.
“I’m sorry I disappointed you, momma.” I say barely above a whisper.
She looks up at me and says, “Oh honey, it will all work itself out. You’ll see. We have God looking out for us. He will help guide your way.” This is one reason why I had to leave home. As much as I love my parents, I am more of a realist. Things don’t always happen for a reason.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.” I take a bite of the most delicious cookie. There is nothing better than homemade chocolate chip cookies.
“So, why don’t you tell me about this boy who has captured your heart.”
Oh geez, where do I start? I certainly can’t tell her it’s Derek’s coach. “Well, he’s a few years older than me.”
Momma looks up at me with worried eyes. “How much older?”