Head Case
Page 18
I have a friend whose therapist taught him to force himself out of his overwhelming thoughts and back into the present by talking to himself in his car, on the way to work. “This is me now. This is me talking. This is the sound of my voice.” I’m already overanalyzing his strategy as he tells it to me. How can the sound of my voice anchor me in time? Once it leaves my body, pushed by my breath past the tongue, the teeth, I’m already trailing behind it.
I am the same as before I knew the truth about my brain, and I’ll never be that person again; my diagnosis is both an ending and a beginning. I still type “Developmental Gerstmann’s Syndrome” or “right parietal atrophy” into a search engine sometimes, to confirm my symptoms to myself—to be sure that I’m not making all of this up.
This is me now. This is the sound of my voice.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
My deepest gratitude to:
Fress Club: Mark, Lesley, Carly, and Marni Cohen.
The Diamond Family: Ron, Linda, Jake, and Danielle.
Henry Dunow and Wendy Owen, Caroline Zancan and everyone at Henry Holt, Kristy Rippee, Karl and Lenora Yerkes, Nora Gedgaudas, Dr. Michael Mega, Dr. Glen Zielinski, Dr. V. S. Ramachandran, Jon Wagner and the members of my CalArts thesis class, David L. Ulin, Maggie Nelson, Brighde Mullins, Leslie Brody, Joy Manesiotis, Bill McDonald, the Johnston Center for Integrative Studies, UCSB’s Interdisciplinary Humanities Center, and the Corporation of Yaddo.
In memory of Connie Bowsher, the first teacher to have faith in me.
About the Author
COLE COHEN holds an MFA in creative writing and critical studies from California Institute of the Arts. She was a finalist for the Bakeless Prize and the Association of Writers & Writing Programs prize in nonfiction. She currently lives in Santa Barbara, California, where she works at the University of California Santa Barbara’s Interdisciplinary Humanities Center. You can sign up for email updates here.
Thank you for buying this
Henry Holt and Company ebook.
To receive special offers, bonus content,
and info on new releases and other great reads,
sign up for our newsletters.
Or visit us online at
us.macmillan.com/newslettersignup
For email updates on the author, click here.
CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Epigraph
I. Beginning
II. Confusion
III. Perseverance
IV. Arrival
V. Return
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
HEAD CASE. Copyright © 2015 by Cole Cohen. All rights reserved. For information, address Henry Holt and Co., 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.henryholt.com
Jacket design by Rick Pracher
Jacket photographs © pogonici/Shutterstock (background), © Cloud7Days/Shutterstock (lemon)
Author photograph © Lesley Abugov Cohen
Most of the names of people, companies, and institutions in this book have been changed in order to protect their privacy.
eBooks may be purchased for business or promotional use. For information on bulk purchases, please contact Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department by writing to MacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.com.
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Cohen, Cole.
Head case: my brain and other wonders / Cole Cohen. — First edition.
pages cm
ISBN 978-1-62779-189-2 (hardback) — ISBN 978-1-62779-190-8 (electronic book) 1. Cohen, Cole. 2. Brain—Abnormalities—Patients—United States—Biography. 3. Young women—United States—Biography. 4. Women with disabilities—United States—Biography. 5. Learning disabled—United States—Biography. I. Title.
RC395.C57 2015
616.80092—dc23
[B] 2014042006
First Edition: May 2015